Deceased and Desist

by Misty Simon

  “Tallie.” He turned to me this time and I was struck by the added lines around his eyes and mouth. Many were from laughing. He could be a funny guy and was my rock when it came to my mom sometimes, but his mouth was not currently sporting a smile. “Your mother would dearly like you to give this serious consideration. We knew when you married Walden that you would not be around much, and we made our peace with that. Now, we’re both so thankful to have you back, under the roof where we spend so much time, and in our lives. We didn’t see much of you for those years when you were married, and we missed you.”

  I was the one staring straight ahead now. My dad’s normal MO lately had been to chastise me for not taking things seriously enough, or not having the proper reverence for his business. We hadn’t talked about the time I’d been gone since I’d come back. We’d both avoided it like pros. But now I had heat behind my eyeballs and was afraid I might leak a tear or two. I saw the inn up the road and hoped we made it through the next light without stopping.

  “Thank you.” It was all I could think to say.

  “Your mother loves you and so do I. We’d like you to be a part of the family in a way we thought had been lost when you said ‘I do. ’”

  Okay, now he was laying the guilt on thick. I was positively smothering in the stuff.

  “I get it, Dad, and I understand what you’re asking for, but you have to understand that even before I married Waldo I’d had no intention of going into the family business. I don’t think dead people are my thing.”

  He snorted. “And yet you keep finding them. And, in this case, trying to investigate a death the coroner has deemed a heart attack.”

  The coroner had signed off on a heart attack? Why and how with a broken neck? What the heck? I’d have to ask Matt, but right now I had this conversation to endure.

  Except that I didn’t because we turned onto the lane that led up to the inn. I couldn’t get out of the car fast enough. In my haste, I forgot to unhook my seatbelt and nearly strangled myself. My dad unclipped it at my hip, and I stumbled out of the car. I straightened myself along with my clothes as I stood up. I could do this.

  But I didn’t. Instead I leaned back into the car with my arm braced on the top of the door. “I am thinking about it. I promise I’ll let you know my decision. You’ll be the third person I tell.”

  “I guess that’s going to have to be enough.”

  Again with the staring out the windshield. Now I felt like crap. Nothing like family guilt, huh?

  Fortunately, my cell rang in my pocket. I yanked it out and answered without looking to see who it was, not caring if it was a charity asking for my annual donation to the local fire station. But, no, it was Burton.

  “Tallie, we need to talk.”

  I was not up for another discussion of my failings and faults. However, it did give me the perfect excuse to say goodbye to my father by simply waving and walking away from the car. I didn’t want to exchange more words about how I was not going to fall in with the way he had planned out my life. I knew that the conversation was not over and wouldn’t be even when I said no, but I was very much okay with putting it off right now.

  “I’m here, we’re talking,” I said into the phone instead of hanging up, which believe me had been very tempting.

  “Are you in a place where you can be overheard?”

  I looked around the front yard and saw no one standing around or outdoors. A curtain twitched upstairs but that was about it. I had about two minutes before Rhoda came out to see who was on her property. Burton could have those two minutes.

  “I suppose.”

  “I need you to be sure.”

  “Sure, then, yes. I’m standing in front of the inn where the fictitious murder happened, given that your coroner declared the cause of death to be a heart attack, even though the guy’s neck was very obviously broken. I’m just here to get my car.”

  “And look around if you can get Rhoda to open the upstairs bedroom?”

  I certainly wasn’t going to admit that. So, I didn’t say anything at all, content to let Burton lead the conversation, and say goodbye as soon as possible.

  “Ah, so that’s a yes.”

  Again, I would not say a word. I silently pleaded the fifth. That still counted, didn’t it?

  “Well, when you’re there, make sure you look under the bed for any kind of weapon, like a garrote.”

  “I . . . What?” I’d been all ready to defend myself so I was having a very hard time believing this conversation. Did Burton just tell me to look for clues? I took the phone away from my ear and stared at it to make sure the number was right and Matt wasn’t playing a trick on me. But no, it was definitely Burton. What the hell?

  And that was exactly what I said to him.

  Chapter Seven

  Burton cleared his throat, which historically had been the preemptive strike right before I got my rear end handed to me for interfering. “Look, being on leave means I need ears and eyes on the ground. I don’t think it was a heart attack, either.”

  I had to admit that I choked and then paused, trying to regain my composure. Was he saying what I thought he was saying? “So why not tell that to Hammond?”

  More throat clearing. Was he also sick? “Well, see, Tallie, there’s a problem with that.”

  I waited and waited, standing in the middle of Rhoda’s driveway for him to say something more. When nothing else was forthcoming, I sighed. “What about Matt?” Why was I fighting this? I planned to look into it anyway and it sounded as if Burton was actually asking me to do just that. Why wasn’t I jumping on this? Maybe it was the little devil on my shoulder telling me to wait for him to actually say the words. After the last two run-ins with him, I wanted him to ask me, not hint about it.

  “Matt is under Hammond’s command at the moment. I don’t want him to get in trouble.”

  “But it’s okay for me to get in trouble?”

  Another sigh. He was going to get the hiccups if he didn’t start breathing normally. “Look, I’m supposed to be on leave, and Hammond has been gunning for my position for the last eighteen months. He stepped it up after you solved the last murder, calling me incompetent. Then, I got hurt chasing that maniac down the street. The mayor asked him if he wanted to fill in while I am convalescing. Of course he jumped at it and then it was a done deal.”

  “Lordy.” I liked the mayor but had a feeling I would now be questioning his taste in people.

  “I can’t have him look better,” Burton continued. “I can’t have the guys on the force get into trouble when I’m not there. You, on the other hand, aren’t in danger of that.”

  “He threatened to put me in jail,” I said.

  “I’ll break you out,” he answered quickly.

  Now it was my turn to sigh. “You will not, because you won’t be able to. But I’m doing this anyway, so I’ll stop making you beg for it.”

  I was pretty sure he growled, but that wasn’t my problem.

  “Should we have code names?” I asked. “Am I supposed to check in with you on the hour or you’ll call some other cop to check on my whereabouts?”

  His laugh wasn’t big, but it was definitely a laugh. “No, 007, just make sure you let me know if you find something. We can build a case and then you can present it to him in all its glory so he can know what it feels like to be outsmarted by an amateur.”

  “Amateur sleuth,” I clarified.

  This laugh was bigger and then he groaned. “I can’t keep laughing, hurts my side. But fine, amateur sleuth. So, go check out the inn and let me know what you find. Be careful, though, and subtle. Please.”

  “Will do, Bossman Burton.”

  He hung up laughing, and I wasn’t sure what to do with that. We hadn’t exactly been enemies before. We’d always been on the same side of justice, but we definitely had been at odds about how to get that justice. Now I was going to be reporting to him in his sickbed.

  Wasn’t life funny?

  Shoving my phone into
my back pocket, I looked at the inn from my vantage point. Someone had died here, someone had made that death happen with no thought of being caught. My mind zipped around with the possibilities. Who could it have been? The cars in the parking lot when I’d put my jacket away popped into my head. Had those people been helping or was one of them a killer? Rhoda hadn’t mentioned anyone being there, not that she had to, but it was still curious.

  At this point I was thinking she just hadn’t known what was going on right under her nose. Maybe Eli invited someone here to have a conversation with them out of the public eye, maybe about finding that kid? And it went wrong. Then again, he may have wanted money and the killer had followed him here, then took the opportunity to kill him and leave him in a room to be found by yours truly.

  Paul rounded the barn with a smile. Assessing him, I wondered if he could have done it. I quickly dismissed the possibility. Paul had been around for years and was one of the nicest, gentlest people I knew. He was in charge of the children when they had activities at the inn. His balloon animals were the best and he made balloon hats that even I wanted to wear. No way would he have used those hands to break someone’s neck.

  Paul waved and came over to where I was standing, still looking at the building and trying to think of what I was missing, or who could have done this.

  “Afternoon, Tallie. What brings you out this way?” His dark hair waved back from his forehead, and his brown eyes smiled warmly.

  “I’m here for my car. I left it in the lot after what happened yesterday.”

  Tucking his hands into the back pockets of his coveralls, he sighed. “It’s a shame that the man had a heart attack here. I’m hoping this won’t be bad for business.”

  “The police told you that? I’m not sure that’s what happened.”

  “No? That’s what the police said. Confirmed it with Rhoda this morning, and she feels so much better. A murder would be very bad business for the inn.”

  Was there a warning there? For me to back off? But he smiled at me, gentle eyes and all. I didn’t feel threatened in the least.

  “Oh, Paul, what are you doing taking up Tallie’s time?” Annie swatted his arm good-naturedly as she walked up. Her hug was all-encompassing and comforting. “We heard you were doing better. That true?” she asked me, stepping back and hooking arms with her husband then laying her head on his shoulder.

  They were an adorable couple and had been around this area for years. I don’t remember when they moved in, but it was long enough ago that I felt like they’d always been here.

  “I do feel better. I’m here for my car.”

  “And she’s not sure that the guy died naturally. What do you want to bet she’s going to try to do that snooping around thing to outsmart the police?” Paul added and then laughed.

  “Oh, Tallie, don’t get yourself into this. It was a simple heart attack. Rhoda cried when the police told her that because it meant she didn’t have to tell people that someone was killed here, or have it go on one of those rating sites.” A few blond hairs escaped her bun in the light breeze. She tucked them back with a smile. “Now, why don’t you go in to see Rhoda? I bet she has a muffin or two that you could take with you.”

  “Right, muffins. I love muffins.” I was tired of trying to convince people I wasn’t lying or making a big deal out of nothing. I would just have to be subtle like Burton had asked. My face must have given me away this time though; I’d have to work on that. After Annie lectured me of course.

  Annie let her husband go to put her arm around my shoulders. “Sweetie, I know you like justice and you’ve been an amazing help to the police over the last year, but I really think this was just a simple death at the wrong place. Rhoda doesn’t want to worry about an investigation. She’s nervous and bereaved for the man himself, but also scared for her business.”

  I nodded at the two and slipped out from under Annie’s arm. They were fiercely protective of their employer and I understood that. I would be fine with it being a natural death, too, since that would mean we did not have another killer on the loose. I couldn’t let it go, though.

  “Well, you guys have a good day. I’m going to say hi to Rhoda, then hit the road.”

  “Have a good day, sweetheart. And if you can get your man to come by, I’ll be doing a Victorian carriage ride through the woods next month in the snow. I bet he’d love that, and we’d love to have you two.”

  I waved as I made my way toward the back door and the kitchen.

  What was I going to say to Rhoda? If Burton and I, along with Gina, were the only ones who thought it was a suspicious death, and he hadn’t seen anything since he was convalescing, then why was I continuing to pursue this? No, I didn’t want a murderer running around, but maybe it was an accident. Maybe he really did die naturally. He could have hit his head on the fireplace mantel, wrenching his head around as he fell.

  Rhoda came out just as I approached the door.

  “Here for your car, sweetie?”

  “Yes, and a muffin since I heard you’re making them.” I walked my fingers across the counter. “Did you have someone come in and clean the room where they found Eli? I could do that while I’m here. All my gear is in my car.” Apparently, I was not yet ready to let it go, no matter what I told myself.

  She frowned and placed a hand on my arm. “Oh, honey, thank you for the offer, but I’ve got it handled. Since it was a heart attack and there’s nothing more to it, I’m just going to spiff the place up myself. Go home and do something constructive with your time. Like make those babies your mama’s always asking for.”

  “Uh, the boyfriend is across the country so I’m pretty sure that might be a little bit miraculous. And I really don’t mind helping, Rhoda. I’m sure it would make you feel better to know that it’s all cleaned up. You wouldn’t have to lift a finger.” I had to get her to let me into the room. How else would I do what Burton wanted me to?

  “Maybe another time, honey. Besides, per that nice Chief Hammond, no one is allowed in that room right now, not even me. Sorry. But I do have some sticky buns you can take home with you.”

  “Thanks.” I took a deep breath and plowed right in. “What was Eli even doing here? You said no one was on the property.”

  Her normally open, smiling face closed down and went blank. “I guess I forgot to mention it. Now go on with your sticky buns.” She shoved the box into my hand and wasn’t very subtle about shoving me back to the driveway.

  “Oh, before I go, can I use the bathroom?” I was desperate for a chance to get in there and running out of ideas.

  Without a word, she led me to the powder room under the stairs, then waited until I came out to hand me the sticky buns. Not good and totally not what I had wanted!

  Burton was not going to be happy with my first three minutes on the job. Maybe I should have asked to use the bathroom upstairs. But I hadn’t been quick enough and now I was standing by my car and out of excuses. No one should have been upstairs, much less a building inspector with no appointment. So why wasn’t she protesting this more?

  Right. Because she didn’t want the bad publicity.

  Was she really going to go with the party line and not admit that something bad had happened here? I guess we’d see.

  I climbed into the Lexus and waved at Rhoda as I pulled around the circle to leave. She stood in the doorway the entire time as if guarding the house. Or was she guarding a secret?

  * * *

  “I brought wine and cheese.” Gina let herself into my apartment. Mr. Fleefers immediately wound his way through her legs. He never did that for me. In fact, I hadn’t even seen him since I’d been home, and then he appeared magically when Gina waltzed through the door.

  The sticky buns were long gone, and I hadn’t come up with a better way to tell Burton that I’d failed than to just say it fast, like taking off a strip of wax on my upper lip. He had sounded resigned but not necessarily angry, so I took that as a good sign and promised to do better next time.
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br />   Taking the bottle of wine and the little container of cheese, I let Gina and the cat have their love affair while I put everything out. I had a file folder, a highlighter, and the printer set up. I didn’t know what I thought I was going to do with all this, or why I felt the need to act as if I was running an agency of some sort, but since no one except Gina, and now Burton, believed me, I was going to keep an accurate trail. Then, I was going to rub it in all of their faces when I knew who did it and why. Well, everyone except Rhoda, Arthur, Paul, and Annie. They just wanted their business to not suffer. I understood that, but I couldn’t sweep this under the rug any more than I’d sweep real dust under a rug.

  “If you’re finished messing with my cat, I’d like to get down to business. You have work tomorrow and so do I.” With four houses to clean on the schedule, I couldn’t cancel. Fortunately, Letty was taking them because of my wrist, but I’d agreed to come along and help with some of the lighter stuff. There was also another funeral tomorrow. This one for a young teenager, which meant far more mental preparation than when the person had made it to a ripe old age and had lived every day to the fullest.

  I wasn’t going to think about that right now, though, because it would make me sad. I needed to hold onto my mad so that I could at least get a jumping off point.

  “Mr. Fleefers still not hanging out with you?” Gina asked, carrying the cat draped over her shoulders. That was going too far.

  I stuck my tongue out at the cat and he hissed at me. “Fine, let’s see where your next can of food comes from, the discount store or the grocery store.”

  “Aw, don’t listen to her, my pretty. If she doesn’t get you good food, I will.” She stroked the cat, who of course purred for her.

  “Traitors, both of you.”

  “But we both love you, don’t we, baby?” The cat rubbed his head against Gina’s cheek but kept his eyes narrowed in my direction.

  “Anyway!” I set the laptop on the kitchen table and pulled up two chairs. “Did you bring your laptop?”