by Kaylee Ryan
She nods, her tears now preventing her from speaking. She begins to cough, so I help her sit up a little higher. Once she’s calmed down, she whispers, “Thank you. Now clear up your face before Finley comes in here and sees you like this.”
“This is all your fault,” I tell her, smiling through the pain and sadness that’s circling us, threatening to swallow us whole.
“Knock, knock,” Seth says, pushing open the door fifteen minutes later. He eyes me suspiciously, but I give him a smile, letting him know I’m okay.
“Auntie A, I’s makes more cookies,” Finley says, holding up a baggie of cookies and handing them to Amelia.
“Oh my goodness, I think you’ve grown since I last saw you.”
Finley giggles. “I’m a big girl,” she says proudly.
“That you are.” Seth lifts her to the bed to snuggle next to Amelia.
“So, I have a surprise for you,” Amelia says. “You’re going to get to see Ryder today.”
“I’s do?” Finley’s eyes are wide with excitement. She stares at Amelia’s belly as if the baby is just going to jump out at her.
“You do.”
Seth and I have yet to tell her that baby Ryder is going to be her brother. Officially, as her adoption should be final in a few weeks. Seth finds my eyes over Finley’s head, and I nod my approval. I’m just too emotionally drained to try and make her understand, but her daddy, my husband, the man who loves us both unconditionally, I trust him to do it.
“Come here, Finny.” Seth holds his arms out for her and she carefully climbs into them. “So, Mommy, Daddy, and Auntie A, we have something to tell you.”
Her little head nods and he has her full attention. “You wuv me.” She says it with absolute certainty, and I can see my husband melt at her conviction.
“We do, baby girl. So much. We also love baby Ryder. We love him so much that he’s going to be your baby brother.”
She gasps, and her little hand flies to cover her mouth. We’ve been working on her inside voice, especially when in the hospital. “A baby brover?” she asks with awe in her voice.
Seth nods. “Yes. He’s going to live with us, and as his big sister, you have to look out for him, teach him things once he gets older.”
“I’s a big siser?” Again, nothing but pure joy in her reply.
“You are.”
“Ryder’s room by my room,” she says like it all makes sense now.
She asked what we were doing while painting the room. We told her we’re painting Auntie A’s baby’s room and that was enough to appease her. Besides, it was blue, so that wasn’t something she was interested in. She’s a girly-girl. Pink and purple all the way.
“That’s right. So, what do you think, Finny? You ready to be a big sister?” he asks her.
Her little head bobs up and down. “I’s can do it.”
“Good girl,” he praises, hugging her tight to his chest. Her little arms are around his neck, squeezing with all she’s got.
“Are we ready to see how Ryder’s doing today?” an ultrasound tech asks. She wheels a portable ultrasound machine into the room. Seth, with Finley in his arms, steps back, as do I, giving her room to settle in. I make my way to the opposite side of the room, and he opens his arm that’s not holding our daughter for me. I waste no time snuggling into him. One arm’s around his waist, the other’s resting on his chest over his heart. I feel his lips press to the top of my head.
“There he is,” the tech says.
“Me see,” Finley says, craning her neck.
“Come lay with Auntie A,” Amelia says, speaking up for the first time since we broke the news that Ryder was going to be Finley’s baby brother. “Put your hand right here.” Amelia guides her hand to the side and Ryder kicks, which is visible on the screen.
“He kickeded me,” Finley says excitedly.
Reaching out, I place my hand on Amelia’s belly, feeling little Ryder move around. Seth steps up behind me and places his hand over mine. It’s a moment I will never forget.
The bond.
The love.
The trust.
I will cherish all three as long as I live, just like I will the memory of my best friend. Stepping back, Seth does as well, wrapping his arms around my waist. I pull my phone from my back pocket and snap a few pictures, not that I need them, but it will be a nice visual for Ryder when I tell him the day his big sister found out she was going to be just that, his big sister.
“Everything looks great.” The ultrasound tech wipes the gel off Amelia’s belly and packs up her equipment. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Momma,” she tells Amelia.
Amelia bursts into tears.
“Auntie A.” Finley soothes her, her tiny palm resting against Amelia’s cheek. “Don’t cwy.”
“I’m happy,” Amelia assures her. “These are happy tears.”
I have a feeling this is going to be a good moment, so I hit Record on the camera on my phone and hold it, so they don’t realize I’m recording.
“I love baby Ryder so much,” Amelia manages to tell her. “I’m so honored to be his mommy, but your mommy is going to be his mommy too.”
“Hims has two mommies?”
Amelia’s lip quivers. “He does, and I’m so happy that it’s your mommy and daddy and that you’re his big sister. I couldn’t have picked a better family for him.”
“I’s love him, Auntie A.”
More tears fall, but Amelia smiles through them. “I know you do, sweet girl. I’m counting on it.”
“Okay, munchkin, Auntie A needs some rest.” I hold my arms out for Finley, and she comes to me without complaint. “We’re going to go, but I’ll be back later,” I tell Amelia.
“No. Stay home. You three need a normal night home. My parents are stopping by later and so is Reagan. I promise if anything happens, I’ll call you.”
“Amelia.” Seth’s tone of voice is stern and full of concern at the same time.
“I’m still here,” she says with certainty. “Go, have a family night. I’ll be here tomorrow.”
Seth nods, gives her hand a gentle squeeze, and the three of us head home. The drive home is quiet. I was expecting lots of questions from Finley, but she’s quiet. I pull into the garage, and she unbuckles herself and waits for me to open the door for her. She goes straight down the hall; I assume to her room.
Seth looks up from where he’s making grilled cheese at the stove. “What’s up with that?” he asks.
“I’m not sure.” I walk down the hall and peek in Finley’s room, but she’s not there. I see the door to the nursery is open and I peek inside. She’s standing next to the crib with her princess blanket. “Finley, sweetheart, what are you doing?”
“Baby brover?” she asks.
“Oh, honey, he’s not here yet. He’s still in Amelia’s tummy.”
“I luv him, Mommy.”
“You girls ready to eat?” Seth asks.
“Daddy.” Finley rushes to him, latching onto his leg.
Seth helps her detach and drops to his knees in front of her. “What’s going on, Finny?”
“I wuv my brover. You daddy.”
I think I know what she’s trying to say. She just got Seth as her daddy. I think she’s worried we’re going to lose him. “Baby girl,” Seth whispers. It’s with that I know he gets it too. He knows her so well. “I’m always going to be your daddy. Nothing will ever change that. Ryder is my son and you are my daughter. I love you both with all of my heart.”
“And Mommy?”
He looks up, his eyes soft as they land on me. “Mommy is the love of my life. You, Mommy, and Ryder are my entire world. I promise you that will never change.”
“I wuv you, Daddy.”
I wipe a tear from my eye. I love this man with everything that I am.
“Finny, I love you too. So much. You’re always going to be my little girl. You are the first to make me a daddy. That’s special,” he tells her.
“I’s special?” she asks.
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“More than you’ll ever know.” He stands, lifting her with him. He opens his arm for me and I go to them. My heart. My family.
The rest of the night, we stay close together, snuggled on the couch. Seth reads Finley three stories as we lie in her little princess castle twin bed. It’s another one of those moments, those memories I’ll never forget.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Seth 25
* * *
“Welcome to the world, Ryder Anderson Jennings,” I whisper to my newborn son in my arms. He’s so damn tiny at thirty-seven weeks, but he’s a fighter, just like his mother. He’s doing great, eating and breathing on his own. Weighing in at six pounds and one ounce, he’s nineteen inches long. The doctors gave Amelia shots to strengthen his lungs, and the nutrients she was receiving through her IV also helped him grow. The doctors administered it as a precaution in case he delivered early.
We got the call in the middle of the night that Amelia was in labor—this time for real; we’ve had a few close calls, but they were able to stop it over the last few weeks. It was rough for her. She was exhausted, the pushing too much for her lungs, but she fought it. She fought hard and delivered our son into the world. I hate this, the fact that I know she’s fading fast, and that delivering Ryder took a lot out of her.
I haven’t left her side since early this morning. Mara and I have been stuck to her like glue, and my wife… she’s incredible. She was there for Amelia, coaching her, reminding her of the details of Finley’s delivery. Mara’s now sitting next to me, head resting on my shoulder as she sleeps. Amelia is sleeping peacefully. She’ll cough in her sleep, but it subsides and she falls right back to sleep. Me, I can’t seem to shut my eyes. I can’t stop looking at my son. I’ve been holding him for the last two hours, and I’m good to continue to do so.
My phone vibrates in my pocket, and I know it’s my parents. We dropped Finley off to them in the middle of the night. I texted them to let them know Ryder was here and healthy, along with a picture. They sent their love with the promise to stop by after we’ve had the chance to catch a couple hours of sleep.
A soft knock against the door and it’s pushing open. I hear my dad making a shushing sound, reminding Finley to be quiet because her baby brother might be sleeping.
“Daddy!” she whisper shouts. Her little feet rush to me.
“Shh, everyone is sleeping,” I say in a hushed whisper.
“Is dat my brover?” she asks. She’s wearing a pink T-shirt that says I’m the big sister. My parents must have stopped at the gift shop on the way up.
I hear a sniffle, but I don’t have to look up to know it’s my mom. “Yeah, sweetie. This is your little brother. Ryder.”
“I wuv him.” She leans in and kisses his tiny head.
“Be easy,” Mara whispers, and suddenly her head is no longer on my shoulder.
“Hey,” Amelia says groggily.
“How are you feeling, dear?” my mom asks.
“Okay. Tired,” she admits.
“Childbirth takes a lot out of you. Can we get you anything?” Mom asks.
“No, thank you.”
“Ryder, look who’s awake.” I stand and carry him to the bed. Mara is on her feet and helping me raise the bed for Amelia to sit up. “Go see Mommy,” I say, handing him off to Amelia.
“Hey, handsome,” Amelia coos. Her eyes are glued to our son. My eyes find Mara’s, and she’s watching Amelia with tears in her eyes. Glancing at my parents, they have the same.
“I wuv my bruver,” Finley announces proudly.
“Come here you.” Amelia pats the space beside her.
“Careful, Finley,” Mara warns her.
Slowly, slower than I’ve ever seen my daughter move, she settles in next to her aunt and her baby brother. “Hims needs to wake up.”
Amelia laughs softly. “Babies sleep a lot. He won’t be able to play with you for a few months at least.”
“Oh,” Finley says, dejected, and we all chuckle at her.
“It’s almost time for him to eat,” I tell Amelia. “I was hoping you would wake up in time to feed him.”
“Would you like to hold him?” Amelia asks my mom.
She nods, tears in her eyes. “More than anything.” Mom steps next to the bed and takes Ryder from Amelia. She gets comfortable in a seat next to my dad, and together, they take in their new grandson. Finley climbs off the bed and races to my dad. He doesn’t hesitate to pull her onto his lap. He snuggles her close, and for about the one-millionth time in my life, I’m grateful for my parents. Shannon and Steve Jennings are the most loving, caring parents a kid could ask for. I’m damn lucky to call them mine.
Mom trades Dad. He takes Ryder while she snuggles Finley to her chest. Mom chatters with Finley about making cookies when they get home, giving my girl her full attention. Something Finley needs. I don’t want her to get jealous of Ryder. I mean, I get it. She just got us, and now there’s this new baby taking what she just got used to having. I make a mental note to make sure we have some daddy-daughter time. I never want her to question how much I love her.
Mara reaches for her camera and starts taking pictures. I sit back and take it all in. My family. My heart feels full while it’s breaking at the same time. When Ryder starts to fuss, I know it’s past time for him to eat. By the looks of it, Amelia is ready to crash, so we need to get this moving for both of them.
“All right, buddy, time for a bottle.” I take him from my dad, snuggle him, and hand him off to Amelia. Mara places a nipple on one of the premade bottles and hands it to Amelia with a small receiving blanket.
“We’re going to go. We’ve got cookies to make,” Dad says, and Finley cheers. “Give Mommy and Daddy a kiss.”
We give hugs and kisses, and they’re gone. A few minutes later, Amelia’s parents are knocking on the door. They both look frail, and I know their health is fading, and Amelia’s disease is taking a toll on them. The stress and worry over your daughter and grandchild must take a lot out of you.
“Hey.” Amelia lights up when she sees her parents. Her mom breaks down sobbing when she sees them.
“Harold, Ethel, it’s good to see you,” I greet them.
“He’s beautiful,” her mom says between sobs, never taking her eyes off Ryder.
“You want to hold him?” Amelia asks her mom.
“Oh, he’s eating.”
“It’s fine. It’s time to burp him anyway,” Amelia assures her.
Mara is there. She takes Ryder from Amelia, places him on her shoulder, and whispers to him, rubbing his back. He burps, and she smiles, kissing his tiny hat-covered head. Ethel takes a seat, Harold sitting next to her, and Mara hands him off to her.
“Here’s his bottle,” Mara tells her.
“We’re going to step out. You need anything?” I ask Amelia. She shakes her head. “Ethel, Harold?”
“No, thank you,” Harold answers, never taking his eyes off his wife and his grandson.
Mara follows me and we give them some time. “You hungry?” I ask my wife.
“No, but I’ll go with you.”
“I’m not really either. The doctor came in and said that Ryder is doing great. He’s going to be released tomorrow.”
“That’s excellent news.”
“Yeah, except they’re not releasing Amelia. The delivery took a lot out of her. She’s weak and needs constant oxygen. I know she’s going to fight it.”
“She’s tired.”
“I know.” I pull her into me and hold her close. Everything boiling inside me seems to calm when Mara is in my arms. “She’s going to force them to let her go home.”
“Her room is ready.”
I nod, unable to form words for the emotion clogging my throat.
“She wants as much time with him as she can get.”
“Yeah. It’s getting close, Mara.”
“I-I know.” She stumbles over her words. “I’ve been trying to pretend that’s not the case, but the delivery took all she had
. She’s a fighter,” Mara states. I don’t reply because she knows that I know. We’ve both been there through it all, day in and day out, the appointments, all of it. We’ve watched Amelia decline, but still when she holds our son, it’s… her dream’s coming true before our eyes.
“The girls and I still need to take her to get that tattoo.”
“I got a guy. Does great work. I trust him to be in our home with our kids. I’m certain he’ll come to us. I was going to call him earlier, but time just got away from me.”
“I’m glad. That’s going to be so much easier on her.”
“Yeah. He lives a few hours away. We all got some ink from him on a job we were on a few years back. Great guy, he and his brother own the business. They’re legit.”
“You’re a good man, Seth Jennings.”
“Just trying to make it easier on her. She wants this, and I’ll be damned if I don’t do everything I can to make it happen. After she’s given me…. Yeah, I’m going to make it happen.”
Three hours later, I’m back in the waiting room. Mara went home to shower and visit with Finley at my parents’ place. She’s coming back to spend the night. Kendall and Ridge are visiting, so I stepped out to call Blaise Richards. It rings twice before he picks up.
“Blaise.”
“Hey, man, it’s Seth Jennings.”
“Seth, how the hell are you, man? It’s been too damn long,” Blaise says.
“Taking it day by day. Listen, I have a huge favor and will make it worth your while.”
“Shoot.”
“A good friend of ours, the guys and I, she’s d-dying.” I choke on the word. “She made a bucket list of sorts and getting a tattoo was on the list. She can’t travel, and well, I was hoping you or Asher or hell, both of you could come up and do it. My wife, and the guys’ wives, are all getting one too. The ladies want the same thing.”
“Damn,” he murmurs. “That’s some heavy shit, Jennings.”
“Yeah, it’s a little heavier. She just had a baby. My baby.”
