Meant to Be Yours

by Susan Mallery

  “What are you talking about?”

  He grabbed the pages and flipped through them, then started laughing. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to end things there. I wanted you to read through the scene. I must have entered the wrong page numbers when I printed everything out.”

  “I’m not sure if I believe you,” she fake grumbled, then grinned at him. “They were great. I like him and I like her. Probably because she sounds a lot like me.”

  “She’s based on you. Sort of. Parts of you. How you protect your clients. I like that part, how you’re always there for them. So it reads okay?”

  “It’s way better than okay. You’ve always known Vidar but now it feels like you know her, too.”

  “Thanks. That’s a relief.” He sank back into the chair. “You’ve been great, Renee. I couldn’t have gotten this far without you.”

  “I’m happy to help. It’s interesting watching your process. I have learned that there is no way I could write a book. It’s too intense. When you get into a scene, that’s all that exists for you. I like my life a little more balanced.”

  “I do what I have to do. Which you said last night. Again, I’m sorry I got lost in what I was doing.”

  “It wasn’t a problem. I had a quiet evening at home.”

  Which was absolutely the wrong thing to say, she thought, as she remembered the shock of finding out about Turner becoming a father.

  Maybe it was exhaustion or hormones or just bad luck, but whatever the reason, Renee was horrified to realize her eyes were filling with tears. One second she was fine and the next she was sniffing and blinking and reaching for a tissue.

  “Hey,” Jasper said, coming to his feet. “What’s wrong? If you’re mad about yesterday, you have every right to be.”

  “It’s not that,” she said, struggling for control. But the more she tried not to cry, the more she actually did cry, which was embarrassing and so not her.

  She half expected Jasper to bolt, but instead he circled around her desk, drew her to her feet and held her.

  “Whatever it is, we can fix it together.”

  A wonderful sentiment, but not at all true. In fact the thought of her explaining and him helping had her laughing through her tears.

  “What?” he asked, stepping back enough to stare into her eyes. “I’m lost here.”

  “Yes, you are.” She sniffed. “It’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong. In fact, no one did.”

  He took the tissue from her and gently dried her cheeks. “Then tell me what has you so sad.”

  “I’m not sad—not really.” She drew in a breath. “I used to go out with this guy. Turner. Back in college.”

  “So not the married guy?”

  “No. Turner and I were engaged. We were happy and planning our lives together and—” She hesitated, not sure what to say about how things had ended. No, not ended. How Turner had dumped her, breaking her heart into a thousand pieces.

  “He ended things and it was hard. I’m not still in love with him or anything, but it took me a while to get over him and last night I accidentally stumbled on a video.” She squared her shoulders because she was strong and capable and she would be fine. “He and his wife had a gender reveal party. They’re having a girl.” The tears returned. “Turner wanted a girl first. He talked about it a lot. I’m glad he’s getting that now. I really don’t care. It’s not like I want him back or anything, it was just unexpected.”

  “Sure it was.” Jasper pulled her close again, then kissed her before brushing away her tears with his thumbs. “Turner was always a jerk, but you’re the kind of woman who overlooks that.”

  She managed a slight laugh. “Thank you.”

  “He’s got to be sorry he let you go.”

  “I doubt that.”

  “You’re wrong. I’m a guy and I know about these things. He wonders about you.”

  She knew he was mistaken, but the words were nice to hear. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.” He kissed her again, lingering this time. “So, I was thinking, we need a do-over. Why don’t you come up to the house after work? Koda will be on his best behavior and I’ll cook and maybe you could spend the night.”

  She had no idea if he’d had those plans in mind when he’d first arrived or if they were in reaction to her story. She told herself it really didn’t matter—either way, Jasper was a good guy and she wanted to be with him.

  “Is there going to be sex?” she asked teasingly. “Because I’m really only in it for the sex.”

  He laughed, then leaned close to whisper in her ear. “You get more amazing by the day. There will be dinner and wine and sex.”

  “Then I’ll be there.”

  “And you’ll spend the night?”

  She thought about the large dog who would be lurking and how much she wished Jasper had taken him somewhere safe that wasn’t his house. But she knew she couldn’t say that—there was no way he would understand and she really didn’t want him thinking less of her. Koda seemed like a very nice dog—seriously, what was the worst that could happen? A question she knew she shouldn’t tempt fate by asking.

  “I’ll spend the night,” she said. “Oh, I went shopping a few days ago. I probably should have asked first, but where do you stand on the issue of sexy lingerie?”

  His eyes immediately dilated and his eyebrows rose. “I’m in favor of it.”

  “Oh, good. Then I’ll bring what I bought.”

  He kissed her again, the pressure a little more intense. “You are an amazing woman. I’ll see you after work.”

  “Yes, you will.”

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  RENEE ARRIVED AT Jasper’s place a little before five. Her morning productivity had meant she could leave early. She’d gone home, showered, packed a bag and had driven up the mountain. Whenever her thoughts had threatened to slide in the direction of Turner or Koda, she’d reminded herself that she was about to have hot sex with a guy who knew where all her buttons were and exactly how to push them. Thinking about that was just the distraction she needed.

  She parked and got out her overnight tote. She’d left her work dress on a hanger. Before she could even close her car door, Jasper was heading toward her.

  “You’re here,” he said, sounding happy. “I’m glad.” He took the tote from her. “I’m going to barbecue ribs.”

  “You know how to do that?”

  “As a matter of fact, I do. I marinate them in big batches and freeze them, then pull out what I want for the evening and cook them on the barbecue.”

  “Impressive.”

  “Tell me about it. Now a lot of people would consider ribs man food, so I made a pasta salad in deference to your fair gender.”

  “Because women like pasta?”

  “Yes. I say that with great authority.”

  She laughed as they walked into the house. “I’m not going to argue. Sounds delicious. I brought a bottle of merlot, which should complement the menu very nicely.”

  He closed the door behind them and motioned for her to lead the way down the hall.

  As she walked, she was aware of a clicking sound following them. Koda, she thought grimly, telling herself she would simply ignore the dog. It wasn’t as if she were afraid he was going to attack her. Nothing that simple. She would just pretend he wasn’t there. Hopefully, with time, he would sort of blend into the background of the house.

  She’d been so busy with her dog thoughts, she hadn’t paid attention to the house and unexpectedly found herself in a huge master bedroom. The space was one of the new additions, she thought, taking in the large windows and big fireplace on the far wall. There was a king-size bed, several rugs scattered on the hardwood floors and a massive dog bed in the far corner.

  “You can put your stuff in here,” Jasper said, motioning to an open door that led to an apartment-sized mas
ter bath with his and hers closets. There were double sinks, a steam shower, jetted tub and one of those fancy toilets with lights and a remote control.

  In the “hers” closet, Renee found built-in drawers, glass doors protecting shelves and a floor-to-ceiling shoe rack, along with what seemed to be miles of hanging space.

  “I’m in love,” she breathed, turning in a slow circle. “Who knew I could be bought for the price of an amazing closet, but apparently I can be and I don’t even have that many clothes.”

  “Really? It’s just a few shelves and hanging space.”

  “Silly man. It’s so much more. It’s the stuff of dreams.”

  She sighed happily, then quickly unpacked. Jasper only used one side of the long vanity, so she set her makeup case on the other and glanced longingly at the tub. For a second she allowed herself to wonder what it would be like to live here permanently—not just to enjoy the magical closet, but to be a part of all of it.

  That wasn’t happening, she reminded herself. She wasn’t willing to go there ever again. She was going to be smart and sensible and that was going to be more than enough for her.

  While he made them cocktails, she peeked in the refrigerator and saw that yes, indeed, there were ribs and pasta salad and some kind of chocolate cake thing that looked delicious.

  “You know how to show a girl a good time,” she said, closing the refrigerator door. “I’m going to have to up my exercise program to make up for tonight’s dinner.”

  He pushed a button on a wall panel and soft music immediately filled the space. “Or we can work it off another way,” he said, pulling her into his arms and moving to the beat of the slow song.

  She relaxed in his embrace. “You know how to dance.”

  “A little. My dad made me take lessons one summer. I was maybe fourteen and at that gangly stage guys go through. I kept tripping over my own feet or stepping on my partner or giggling uncontrollably or getting an erection. It was horrible.”

  She smiled. “You were charming.”

  “I was a teenager, so no. Not charming.”

  She wondered what he’d been like before he’d gone into the army and served so many tours in a war zone. How had he been different? What traits did young Jasper share with the man in front of her?

  She relaxed against him, resting her head on his chest. “This is nice.”

  “I’m glad. I might not be able to give you babies, but I can seduce you.”

  Renee knew exactly what he meant and appreciated the sentiment behind the words, but had a feeling he would immediately freak out. Or the manly-Jasper version of freaking out.

  She didn’t have to wait long. There were maybe two beats of silence, then he slowly, carefully, drew back. His eyes were wide and filled what she would guess was panic. His mouth twitched, no doubt from him trying to figure out which words would get him out of the trouble he found himself in.

  He cleared his throat. “What I meant was...”

  She watched him, thinking she would let him flounder for a couple of minutes before saving him. “Yes?”

  “I’m not saying I can’t have children.”

  “Good to know.”

  “Just that we’re not going there and this is about...” He half turned away and muttered something she was fairly sure was at least R rated. “The thing is... It’s not like we’re looking to fall madly in love and I know—”

  “Wow.” She kept her voice soft. “You really are just using me for sex. I don’t know what to say to that.”

  Jasper stayed upright on the outside, but she had a feeling he was crumbling on the inside. “Renee, no! What I meant was—”

  “No babies for me.” She sighed dramatically. “No love, no anything. Just whatever the night brings.”

  She’d been teasing him right up until she realized she was telling herself the truth and it wasn’t pretty. She knew love wasn’t in the cards—she’d tried and failed too many times. She didn’t have another heartbreak in her. But did being sensible have to hurt so much?

  None of this was Jasper’s fault. She’d wanted to keep things light between them. She’d chosen him because she knew that was what he wanted, too, and it avoided anything messy. So why, at this moment, did that feel like a bad idea?

  She was sure the answer was all wrapped up in Turner and his on-the-way baby and the reason he’d broken things off and that sometimes she felt life really wasn’t fair, but again, none of that was Jasper’s fault. He was playing by the rules they’d mutually established. The rules she still totally supported. She was just having a bad day.

  “Renee.” Jasper sounded worried, probably because he thought he’d hurt her.

  He hadn’t, not really. In fact he was a really sweet guy who looked out for her. Her feelings were her responsibility and so was the remedy.

  “You are the most ridiculous man,” she said softly, then raised herself up on tiptoe and kissed him. “Take me to bed and have your way with me, then feed me ribs and chocolate cake.”

  “Done!”

  He shocked her by sweeping her up in his arms and carrying her to the bedroom. She hung on to him, not liking the sense of being so out of control.

  “We should have talked about this before,” she gasped. “You need to put me down.”

  “Probably, but I won’t.”

  He bypassed the bedroom and walked directly into the bathroom. She had no idea what he was thinking. Steamy shower? Tub time? Either way, sign her up. But his final destination was the vanity, which she found confusing.

  He slowly, carefully, lowered her to her feet, then patted the smooth countertop.

  “I’ve been thinking,” he began, his tone suggestive.

  “Interesting.” She glanced from the counter to him and saw the heights were perfect. “How much have you been thinking?”

  “A lot.”

  She laughed and kicked off her shoes, then tugged her T-shirt over her head. She pushed her jeans to the floor and shimmied out of her panties. Seconds later, her bra went flying.

  Jasper took care of his own clothes, all the while glancing at her, as if enjoying the show. When they were both naked, he opened a drawer and set a box of condoms next to the sink, then he pulled her close.

  She went into his embrace, but instead of just feeling the heat and strength of his body, this time she got to enjoy the way his bare legs felt against hers and how her breasts flattened against his chest. Even as he claimed her mouth with his and slipped his tongue inside, she reached between them so she could take his erection in her hand and stroke him.

  He was unbelievably hard—the silky skin of his penis contrasting with the tension just below the surface. She explored the length of him before sliding her hand between his thighs and gently stroking his testicles.

  In retaliation, he drew back just enough to lightly nip on her lower lip before kissing his way along her jaw. At the same time he cupped her breasts in his hands and rubbed her hard nipples.

  As she had before with him, she found herself going from “this is nice” to “take me now” in about eight seconds. Wanting grew until it was unbearable. She was wet and swollen and hungry for him and there was absolutely no way to get friction. She was just too short to ride his erection and rubbing against his leg seemed sad.

  “Condom,” she said, thinking that should get the message across.

  “Yeah, no.”

  Before she could fully absorb what he’d said, he grabbed her around the waist and set her on the counter. The cold surface shocked her into gasping. The second gasp happened when he placed an openmouthed kiss on her very center, then sucked her clit, all the while filling her with at least two fingers.

  It was the most perfect combination of sensations. She couldn’t think, could barely breathe as all her attention focused on the feel of his tongue and lips and fingers moving in tandem, teasing her
, testing her, going slow then fast, then faster still until she lost control and screamed as she came.

  The shock waves crashed into her, causing her to arch her back and push toward him. He continued to love her until the last shudder faded and she could breathe again.

  He gave her clit one last flick of his tongue before he stood and reached for the condom. After putting it on, he pushed into her, filling her, stretching her and making her nerve endings sigh happily.

  He grabbed her hips, locked eyes with her and began pumping.

  “This is not going to be long,” he said between gritted teeth. “Doing that was incredible.”

  She drew back her knees and braced herself as he pumped in and out. “Yes, it was.”

  She was just settling in for part two when he called out her name and stiffened. Caught off guard, she couldn’t help laughing.

  He groaned. “I know. Unimpressive.”

  She ran her hands up and down his arms. “I think I would have liked you at sixteen,” she teased.

  “Thanks. It’s your fault.”

  “Then I’ll take the compliment.”

  He touched her cheek. “Do-over after dinner?”

  “Absolutely.”

  * * *

  THE NEXT MORNING, Jasper paused at the entrance to the “hers” closet and studied the single black dress hanging there. On the hanger it was kind of shapeless—at least to him—but he recognized the simple style and could imagine it on Renee’s petite frame. The sleeves would come to her elbows, the scoop neckline was modest and the skirt part would end at her knee.

  It was just one dress, hanging in the large closet. There was a pair of plain pumps on a shoe shelf and her tote bag tucked in a corner. Whatever else she’d brought, she’d put away in one of the drawers. Still, he liked seeing her things there. Wynn was the only other woman he’d had over to the house and her visits had been about having sex and then getting back to their lives. Sometimes she’d stayed long enough to have a quick meal, but they’d never lingered over anything and she’d never spent the night.