by Prerna . K
Maira wanted to have dance tonight, so we went to arrange wireless speakers, in the management room. we inquired about them and successfully got two wireless Bluetooth speakers. We also ordered some available snacks. When we returned the fire was burning good with big flames. James looked at me, and smiled, turning his eyes towards the fire. Cool, I thought, smiling on his expressions.
After it was darker, the comic lights had gathered all there space in the sky, we all sat around the fire, with some light snacks. We all asked Ben and Lisa to share some memorable incidents they had with each other.
James shouted, “Share about your first kiss bro.” he narrated the story, and seriously all settled hormones in my body awoke with every cute thing they shared. They were literally a cute couple.
I was actually on much fire, like I not had a lip kiss yet, so the urge was even more tempting. You know.
James forced both of them to have a couple dance, I played a love song for them, somehow they danced, but they were feeling awkward, so we all circled them, and started singing the song really loud, in perfect rhythm with the song and each other. Our coordination was just too good. It was a very memorable event. Indeed, it was fun to do, and witness. We all were literally enjoying it.
The light of the fire was reflecting on our faces, our skin was warm, and our voice echoed. It was a very simple act but something was in the surrounding that made it beautiful. Lisa laughed or blushed in between and she genuinely had the most innocent face after my sister and Shubh, embraced with a gorgeous smile. They both had a very cute kiss, in between the dancing.
Maira said we all can dance like couples it will be fun. We can have a person there at speakers who gonna change songs, as a song changes we will switch our partners, but yeah we will keep this circle.
A ring of opportunity ringed in my head and a desperate butterfly in me, tickled my chest, throat hard. I was very excited. Shubh ran and took her place at the speakers. She played music, I and Jas were partners for the first round, we both laughed aloud, and she said “you have got an awesome chance, do your first kisses today.” Shubh changed the music, Ben switched to Maira and Lisa to Joseph. I was with Kim, he said to me, “I hope Shubh doesn’t change the music when it’s my and Ash chance.”
“Of course dude, she knows what we want,” I said to him.
Music changed, Ben was with James this time, that was funny and Joseph was with me and Lisa and Maira were together. Jas was not dancing with us now.
Joseph said to me, “Neha is still three steps away; I'm waiting for our turn.”
“And I for my and James turn.”
“I know. I think he likes you, if you want, you can try on him.”
“You don’t have any problem now.”
“No, not much, I observed him; he is a good person, that’s clear.” he said with a sweet smile.
“Good, because I really like him”
“Attraction, or he is James one.”
Song changed, “rush, will talk later”, I said to him.
I shifted to Lisa, then to Maira, then to Ben. After this it was my and James' chance, Ben said to me, “after this song we all gonna be at the right place.” I smiled, “maybe.”
In his arms
finaly
I looked towards Jas and Shubh, they were literally over excited as they saw my and James chance was coming. I smiled looking at them, I was feeling mad at this time, fuck I was overexcited.
Song changed Shubh and Jas saw me in overjoyed expressions, I was going mad, I went to him. He literally bowed, looked up, offering his hand to me, ( this was good enough fantasy.)
I smiled, I was sure my cheeks were red, he smiled louder seeing me blush. I gave my hand to him, I felt like he was going to kiss it but he kept my hand on his shoulder, very gently he put his hands on my waist, neither he pulled me close nor he kept me too far, I liked it. I realized the song was “perfect”; I laughed in joy, seriously I was not able to control my smiles.
“Babe, I understand you are first time this close to me, but please hide your emotions.”
I smiled more and said controlling myself, “babe, I didn’t know you were such a gentleman.”
“Oh,” he said and chuckled, he looked down for some seconds, I said again “babe, are you alright.” Myself, in a giggling voice
He blushed more, and said after putting efforts in controlling his smile, “you will kill me.”
I laughed, “With my illegal weapon.” As I said that this song illegal weapon blow in my mind, it is an amazing song but come back.
“Of course” He said smilingly.
I looked to his blue eyes; they are addictive for me, man. He also started looking to my face; the lyrics those were,
“Your heart is all I own”,
And don’t know why I felt a powerful emotion in my eye, like I suddenly lose something, his expression also changed for a second to a little intense. That moment was strong.
After that we were dancing more and talking less, Shubh did not change that song, she literally played the whole four-minute song, and I enjoyed it. The dance was really fun with him.
James asked me when we were dancing “was that prince charming thing true. I mean are you really serious about that thing?”
“Yeah!,” I said.
“Promise me you will tell me about him.”
“I promise,” I said charmingly, I was somewhere ready and excited to tell him about him.
I looked at Lisa who had rested her face on Ben’s shoulder, while they were still dancing. they were looking like a romantic couple in a royal ball party, in London.
“They both look really good together,” I said looking at them.
He looked back and with a brilliant smile said, “Yeah, I knew they will.”
“Have you also done something to bring them together?”
“Yeah, I made up Lisa’s mind; after all she was with a guy. But I knew she was more interested in Ben, even when the guy loved her madly, I should say. So I consoled her to choose, rather than dragging her relationship just because she was afraid to hurt her boyfriend’s feelings."
"Like seriously, she knew herself they both were not on the same page rather she was connected to Ben, but still she was dragging her hopeless relationship.”
“Good job, dude. I think even for him this was a good decision. After all he was standing at a place where his feelings were obvious to get hurt.”
“Hmm, correct, I said her that. Like what’s bad in telling the other person that their relationship is hopeless. and she is totally into somebody else. I mean it is better than him thinking she might fall for him someday. Its better then wasting time together.”
“Hmm, at least the person shall know he can move on.”
“Yeah,” he said with a smile looking at me.
“Your smile...
“..It is beautiful, I know.”
I snuffed. “Hey revolve me it is getting boring.”
He smiled and took me by my finger, after some rounds; he again gripped my waist and said “you are such a kid.”
I kept my both hand on his shoulder, and smiled.
“Comfortable,” he asked with very decent expressions. As his both arms were around my waist and this time we were closer.
“Very much” I said looking at him.
“Umh, I want to tell you something,” he said keeping his eyes on me.
“Yeah”
“I’m Lisa’s ex,” he said.
“Ohk” I said casually. “What’ I said loudly just understanding what he said.
“Relax, shall I bring some water.” He said giggling.
“Yes, seriously you were. I mean how.”
“What how, look at her, she is admirable. Hey now don’t stare her, come back. Yeah, and I couldn’t help it; I was just way too attracted so I proposed her.”
“Then when did Ben came?”
“I think in her mind he always was, when I started noticing that, I talked to her as Ben’s good frien
d. I begged her to tell me everything she feels for him. I told her that will hurt me but I will handle it and said all that I earlier told you.’’
“Oh shit, this might be so hard on you.’’
“I guess it was, but now it’s alright.”
“Goodness you are a strong man. You literally let her go?”
“Yeah, we were just spoiling the little good we have between us to drag that hopeless relationship. Just because I didn’t want to lose her, I was meaninglessly holding her.”
“How you did it?”
“I just used my wits, and not go too mad on her. Like I knew we were different. And just because of my feelings she was not leaving me. It was like I was holding her. So I loosed my grips, cried, and accepted this. And I’m happy I did. Ben and my friendship is as it was before and even Lisa and my friendship is good. It is simple rather being too complicated. And I just don’t want her back, just”
“I want to kiss your forehead, can I?” I said with a real urge and respect for this young boy. He actually didn’t hold her, to love her.
“Of course,” he said with the most approving gesture, I kissed his forehead and said, “You are amazing dude.”
He smiled, “I know,’’
“You don’t feel bad when you see them together.”
“No, not at all, it’s alright. I still love her, I just don’t want to behave mad, we talked before breaking up, and I made it clear we both will never talk about this relationship ever. And we will move on.”
“You don’t depress yourself about this,”
“No. I had already accept this thing before talking to her, that we were over. And even when we talked, I knew this was the last time."
he looked at me and said, "I'm too looking for a happier relationship, so don't think I'm depressed in any way," I smiled, "Yeah, you are a depressed kindof mad ass happy."
"God girl, your logics are amazing, but..
“Promise me you wont talk about it, or behave like you know it.” he said. I could see it in his expression, he trusted me.
"Promise" I said smilingly.
He smiled.
We were dancing looking at each other, that was such a strong and beautiful moment to add he said, with his most alluring voice and expressions,
“Do you want to keep your head on my shoulder, I mean if you want you can, I don’t have any problem.”
“Neither I,” I said taking a step close to him, I kept my head on his shoulder, and he held me closer with his one arm. He literally had the perfect shoulder to rest on. And he was so warm, I could feel this cute blooms of love tickling me, this was the best thing.
We were coming closer with each passing day. And I was very much at ease thinking about him, romantically. I really liked this. We were like that for some time, quietly dancing. I was very absorbed in feeling him and the perfect composure we had between us.
“You are warm.”
He whispered in my ear, with a very lovely voice. The song was coming closer to the end, I literally didn’t want to leave him, but for now, I had no other option. As I left his shoulder, and looked at him, he said, “I will be waiting for you outside.”
“You are not going to sleep.”
“No, at midnight. You have promised me, you have to tell me about your prince charming.”
“Alright”
He smiled, “perfect.” I smiled back looking into his eyes, I just not wanted to leave him.
“Babe you have to leave me for now.” He said with a gentle smile as he loosens his arms, after the song was over.
All about james
my dream lover
We all went to sleep after two hours of all this, I was somewhere excited to meet him, but I fall asleep. I woke up when it was 2 am, I mean around it. I hurried outside the tent, as I feared we might have missed this chance. But he was there, lying effortlessly on the ground staring the sky.
“James” I inquired.
“Yeah,” he said, “why do girls have this habit of being late every time.”
“Oh, I'm sorry, I was too sleepy.”
“Yeah I saw that,” he said sitting on the grass as I sat beside him. “I came to wake you up but you were sleeping so peaceful that I gave up the idea.”
He said looking at me. His eyes were fixed on my face,
“Is there anything on my face?” I asked. After saying that I thought, “Am I mad. He won’t stare at me now.”
“Nope, Actually I love admiring beautiful things.”
“And you are beautiful,” I said with him, he smiled.
“Hmm good you know that already, at least your boyfriend has to not repeat that, all the time,” he said slyly.
“Maybe!” I said shuttering my shoulder.
He again looked at me, really as if he was admiring me, “lucky.” He said in a deep voice.
“What lucky?”
“Nothing, Anyway leave all this, I was thinking about your prince charming thing, tell me about him, or whatever it is. I want to know.” he seemed too curious about this thing.
“Why, are you excited to know about him?” I said but “why” was silent, just in my head.
“Yeah I'm. That’s something different. Kiddo” he said taking support of his hand, as he leaned back a little.
“Ohk, what you want to know about him?” I said turning towards him.
“Mad girl, explain me who he is?” I turned towards him, setting face to face and said
“He is like a person whom I love and I am very connected, and he absolutely has all those features I love, he is not perfect but my best choice. Only the thing is You Can’t See Him Without Eyes Like Me.”
“Ohk, carry on,” he said in very cool expressions.
“What?” I asked.
“Tell me more about him.”
“Are you mad, what more, he is a person whom I love, what you want to know about him?” I asked.
“Is he imaginary?” he asked.
Should I tell him? But I can’t lie? “Why should I tell you?” I said adjusting myself.
“Because you can trust me.”
“Good reason,”
“So is he” he was really curious to know about him.
“Yeah, he is imaginary,” I told.
He smiled, “good dude, you are interesting I needed a mad person like that. Continue, tell me when you started thinking about him and why?”
he didn’t overreact, how is that possible. Whatever, he asked something, explain him. After giving it a thought I said,
“Like since I'm fourteen, because I not wanted to be in any romantic relation ship, just because my feelings felt thats right. I wanted to understand love, more than couples. And I had my ambition to engage me.
I kept myself in isolation from romance, but I still had desperate hormones like all other teens, so I started secretly loving this illusion in my head, and as the time flowed He became my stubborn dream, I started chasing my brilliance to get to him, like if I was asking for a dream, I wanted myself to feel I'm worthy for it.
And now he is my obsession, he is like a part of me, I can’t love anyone romantically, or you can say I don’t want to. I want James to be my first, and I m literally getting stubborn about him, so hard that now my friends are tensed about me. But he is my chase, I also want to see how strong, patient I can be."
I said in a very explanatory way, that I choose rarely but yeah, that’s the only way how I could explain him. I was literally moving my neck and was using a lot of hand gestures that I only do when I get serious about any topic.
“Ohk, you said no one understands relationships, why you think like that,” he said, growing serious in this discussion.
“When I was just learning I have emotions how could I let my emotions drive my life. Like neither my emotions knew where they were going, nor did I.
Actually topic of love blow my mind. I wanted to understand love, before blindly following my emotions curiousity to try out on this subject.
like seriously
, I had many question and I was looking for answers, I knew love was more than romance, or couple ryhmes so I wanted to feel that love. I kept myself away, but see Im still fallen in love with friends, parents. Love is beautiful.”
“Crazy, you intentionally did this to stay single. Aren’t you afraid to lose any good connection, like?” he said grasping his legs together and coming forward.
“Of course dude, it’s depressing to think about so many stories that I have left, I might have a good bunch of experiences to narrate, but I would lose James.
I might not be the character, the artist I'm today, you know, James made me too ambitious, leave that, do you think if I would have let anyone come in, their place and love had not hindered James identity, I would have been simply satisfied with any other and would convince myself, that James was just like a childish fantasy that was impossible and impractical. He was just a dream not a person living in another part of world who was dreaming just like me. And then he would get lost in my memory.” I said again in a whole serious voice that I usually develop in those topics I find myself with opinions.
“Impressive,"
"hmm, it is, James is my choice in all the options I get, and I think good connections did stayed with me, I did love them,I did, I love them in my heart. AND others those are left, I dont fear this loss, this world has too much love for me."
“You know, first time I don’t want to call you a little kid,” he said.
“No call me, I like that, that keep me grounded,” I said with a charming smile, to bring down my fired up brain.
“Ohk kid so is James, oh wait a second his name is James.”
I smiled, fast processor, “you caught it so soon, yeah his name is James.” I said with acceptable gestures.
