Spaced Out

by Korissa Allen

  I wake up to screams, faint but clear. They stop and then get louder. I look over to Daniel, kicking and screaming in his sleep. He’s having another nightmare, his fifth one this trip. “Daniel! It’s just a dream, it’s not real,” I yell across the hall. He still thrashes, but he’s calmed down. He slowly starts to wake up, trembling. I hope Kyle gets here soon. If they keep knocking us out, Daniel is going to keep having the same nightmare.

  Back when we started our first mission, when I was twelve, Daniel woke up frequently in the night screaming. From my corner in the far back of the ship, I could understand that this was no ordinary nightmare. The next morning I asked him what caused him to scream like that, but he just said, “Sometimes, dreams are your reality.” I left it at that, not wanting to pry. Later, he told me what the real reason was.

  “My mother was killed right in front of me,” he once told me. “She went against the Corps, and they threatened to kill her. They found us. There was nothing I could do but stand there and hope someone heard my screams. The murderer left right away before the city military got there, but he didn’t wear a mask. I saw every detail of his face, and I will never forget it.”

  “My father came home an hour later, and he was upset. He asked me what happened and I told him mother let a man in the house. At first they were laughing and talking, but then something happened, and the next thing I knew, he dragged my mother out to the living room and shot her in the head. I didn’t even move, I just stood there and wished her to be alive again. I screamed when she didn’t move. My father gave her body to the city military, and we never heard from them again. He married some lady right away, because in my neighborhood, if you weren’t married, you could get relocated, by yourself. They fought all the time, and after they got divorced, she went to work for the Corps. My father couldn’t live in the house anymore, because he wasn’t married, and he had to leave me all alone. I was eight at the time. The memories keep coming back to haunt me.” I never mention his past. The thought of it is too traumatic, and I don’t want to be the cause of his pain.

  They bring us a small portion of food that I only eat about two bites of. Daniel on the other hand doesn’t eat any of it. He pushes it away. “We can’t give into them. We have to stay strong or die in the process,” he says.

  I’m not going to die of starvation; it’s too slow and painful. I’m not strong like Daniel or even Kyle. He was there all of these years, waiting for me to come back. I came, but it was too late. Mother had moved on, but so did I…. Static. My walkie-talkie is making noise. I scramble to try and find the ‘talk’ button. I hear Kyle’s voice trying to break through the static.

  “I… think… found… guys…” Kyle says. It’s hard to understand, but I can gather the fact that he found us. But where is he? Why isn’t he here yet?

  I press the ‘talk’ button. “Kyle, can you hear me? Where are you?” I say and let up. More static. The silence is unbearable, and it takes all of my strength not to scream out his name. A guard comes around the corner, and I quickly kick my walkie-talkie behind me so he can’t see it. I look up to make it seem like I’m looking at something interesting, but the guard walks past without even acknowledging either of us. Looking up wasn’t a complete waste of time, though, because that’s when I see it, a camera in the corner of the cell, moving up and down.

  Kyle and I used to play this game, where one person would be lookout and the other would write things down. Kyle was always the lookout because he didn’t know how to write yet. Every time something would happen that I needed to write down, he would nod his head. That told me to get ready to write something down. The camera moving up and down is a signal to me that he’s looking at something important. I almost scream with excitement, but remember to stay undercover.

  “Daniel,” I say and he looks over at me. “Kyle is in the camera. He sees us, and he’s coming.” My tone of voice is almost gleeful. He nods his head and tries to move. I don’t know if Kyle can hear us, but I talk to him anyway. I still look at Daniel, so not to get caught, but my words are for my brother only. “Come save us.” But Kyle is not the only one who can hear me.

  My walkie-talkie comes to life again, but this time there’s no static and no Kyle. “I did what I had to do. Kyle’s coming to save you, though,” the voice says. “Your father is with us, back on the platform. Don’t worry, he’s fine.” The guard who deceived us. Now he wants to help us again. Why does he have the other walkie-talkie? Did Kyle give it to him? Or did he steal it? My questions get answered quickly, because Kyle comes casually walking down the corridor. He unlocks the cell door and breaks off my handcuffs.

  “What took you so long,” I say with a laugh. He unlocks Daniel’s door as well, and we walk down the long corridor the same direction he came from. Cell after cell line the wall, and I begin to think we will never make it to the end. A few minutes later, Kyle opens a door that leads down a spiral staircase and back into the room full of cages. We carefully run across to the platform and climb the rope, once again.

  The first thing I notice is the ship full of the now uncaged people is gone. They must have finished loading while we were gone. I scan the area to see if anyone is left and find my father sitting on one of the steel poles. He looks worn out, and sweat drips from his forehead. I run over to him immediately and wrap my arms around his neck. “I was looking all over for you, but then I fell into a trap and…” My father cuts me off.

  “I’m just glad you’re here now,” he says dismissively. “I’ve missed you, and Kyle has been a big help. He gave that guard the walkie-talkie so he could get in touch with you. I think there’s better reception out here anyway.” My arms stay wrapped around him for awhile, but I pull away because I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around and see the Corps’ guard standing there, with the walkie-talkie in his hand. My fists clench immediately, ready to swing a punch, but he stands there, seeming defenseless and tired.

  “Can I talk to you?” he asks me, his voice quiet. I nod, glancing at my father, who nods his head approvingly. He leads me over to a corner of the platform.

  “What?” I ask, annoyed. I’m still mad about the walkie-talkie and the abandoning.

  “I’m… sorry for lying about your father. I didn’t have a choice,” the guard begins. “They said they would kill all of you, and I couldn’t let that happen. That’s why I told your brother, and he knew how to get past the guards. I had to get security entrance so he could get to the camera booth. Your brother gave me his walkie-talkie so I could communicate with you. They cut off signals in booth, so there was no way for him to contact you. He thought I could if necessary.” He’s talking a mile a minute. I look over to my father, but he’s talking to Daniel.

  “What happened to all of the people trying to escape? Did you deceive them too?” I ask, my tone fiery. I’m not about to forgive him. He allowed for me to trust him and then turned against me. Why should I trust what he says now?

  “No, of course not,” he says. “I called for some airships and they took them to their hometowns. I told you, I did what I had to do.” I look down at my mud-stained shoes and wonder how I ever got in here.

  I should’ve pushed him off the platform when I had the chance, I think. He works for the Corps. He’s a bad guy. We’re supposed to be against anyone who works for the Corps, and yet, he saved Daniel and me. He came back for us. The Corps never do that, unless they don’t work for the Corps…. I look back at him.

  People from Vulcona usually have dark brown hair and dark eyes. The guard has light brown hair and blue-green eyes. All the Corps’ guards and workers were born on, and lived in, Vulcona their whole lives. “Who are you?” I ask without really thinking. I don’t think he was expecting that question, and to be honest neither was I. Confusion takes over his blank expression.

  “I… um… well… I’m a Corps’ guard,” he says and gestures toward his uniform.

  “No, I mean what’s your name, where do you come from, why do you want to escape, those kin
ds of things,” I say.

  “I’m Kelton, Kelton Brown,” he says surprisingly fast. “I’m not from here, but I came here one day and stole a uniform. I was going undercover, like you, but they caught me and turned me into one of their soldiers. I’ve tried to escape many times, but they found me and tortured me until I agreed never to try and escape again. You would’ve thought that after a couple of escape fails I would have learned my lesson, but I will never stop trying to get away from this place. It’s evil, they’re evil, and they will stop at nothing to get what they want: total domination of the entire galaxy,” he says.

  Now I have to trust him. He wants to stop them just as much as we do, maybe more. He didn’t even start out as a Corps’ guard, just going undercover and happened to get caught. “You do understand that if you dare lie to me, I will kill you on the spot. You have to earn my trust back, and that’s not easy. I trusted you, and you stabbed me in the back. Thankfully not literally,” I say and almost start laughing, but I stop myself. He giggles nervously, which makes it even harder to hold back my giggles. Finally, I give in. He sort of snorts when he laughs, which just makes me laugh even harder. I look over to where Daniel and my father were talking, and they both look at us like we’ve gone insane.

  Maybe it’s not that hard for me to trust him, but I can’t let my guard down that easy. Stay strong, Daniel once told me. I’ve been trying to, but it’s hard. My mother gave up on me, I just saw my father for the first time in ten years, and trusting is something I have always been able to do easily. Now that I can’t even trust my own mother, all of my assurance has been shattered. Except for Daniel and Kyle, and I haven’t been around my father enough to completely trust him either.

  Kelton looks at me and then looks at his feet. He pushes his shaggy brown hair out of his eyes. “Oh, I almost forgot,” he says and hands me the walkie-talkie.

  “Thank you,” I say. “But it belongs to Kyle, my brother. He’s probably wondering what happened to it.” Kelton walks over to where Kyle sits by the window, and I go over to Daniel and my father. I could tell they were just laughing at something really funny. They both look at me like they’re expecting a big announcement or something.

  “What did he have to say?” Daniel asks. He sounds annoyed, and I can almost hear a hint of jealousy in his voice, but I don’t know why he would sound like that.

  “He just wanted to apologize for earlier and tell me his backstory. He says he’s been trying to escape, but every time he tried, they caught him and tortured him. What were you guys talking about?” I ask.

  “Zandrea, I think Daniel has something he needs to tell you,” my father says. I turn toward Daniel, and a slow smile creeps across his face.

  “Yes?” I ask. He looks at my father, and he nods. Daniel grabs my hand and leads me over to another corner of the platform. I’m pretty sure corners and big announcements are associated with each other somehow. “Yes?” I ask again.

  “Um, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you,” he says, his voice rushed. “I’ve been too scared and nervous to ask before, but your father approves.”

  “What is it?” I ask. He takes a deep breath.

  “Well, I’ve been thinking about this for a while, actually. I mean not too long, just awhile, and I figured now is a better time than any and-”

  “Daniel, just say it.”

  “Will you marry me?” he asks.

  The law in our part of the galaxy is no romantic social interaction before marriage. In other sides of the galaxy, you can, and are required to, but here in the North Galaxy, you are not allowed to interact romantically. If a boy asks you to marry him, and you are of age and your parents agree, you must marry him. Another condition is you must be married by age thirty, or something bad, like maybe execution, could happen. I haven’t heard of that happening to anyone, so I wouldn’t know, and they don’t tell you the punishment either. I guess I’ll never know….

  I look at him, my eyes gleaming, as a huge smile spreads across my face. I have been waiting for this moment since I first met him. I never thought it would happen, though. I’m lucky he’s only three years older than me, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to marry him. There are lots of restrictions here, because of past experiences. If the person is four years older or more, it’s considered against the law and you can be penalized. Execution is one of the most popular ways to punish someone. Daniel is perfect, and I’ve known that since the beginning.

  “So, what’s your answer?” he asks.

  “Of course! Like that’s even a question,” I say. “I’ve been waiting forever. I’m glad we finally found my father.” He smiles.

  I’ve heard of people giving jewels and Stoneards as gifts for engagement, but I’ve never really been into that kind of thing. Daniel knows that. Once we get back, we’ll go to the House and make everything official.

  The House is a giant building in Sacmuntas where people go to get married, sentenced to prison, sign up for jobs, and even buy food. Every month, one person from each home must go to the House and receive a portion of food for each person in the household. Once, someone took more than they should have, and they were shot on site, in front of everyone. People were terrified, and no one wanted to come back, but you couldn’t have bought the food anywhere else. They do that on purpose, so either you starve or come and take your exact portions.

  Daniel takes my hand, kisses it, and walks away. Kyle sits by my father, so I know he will find out soon enough. I practically skip over to Kelton and almost give him a heart attack.

  “You scared me, I didn’t see you coming,” he says and then giggles.

  “Guess what?” I ask him. This is the first time someone has made me feel giddy and happy in a long time. I don’t want this feeling to ever end….

  “What?” he asks. I forgot I asked him a question.

  “Daniel, you know the guy over there, asked me to marry him, and I said yes!” I say and start jumping up and down. I feel like a little girl again, jumping because I’m happy, which I haven’t done in a long time. It’s like the time when I found out I was going to have a baby brother.

  I don’t know why I tell him this information, or why he would even care, but I see the look on his face that erases all of my happiness. His expression is somewhere between mad and sad. I stop jumping and my smile fades like an old memory.

  “You don’t seem happy about it,” I say. He looks away, and for some reason, I feel like crying. I don’t know why I want his approval, even for him to be happy for me, but it feels like something is missing.

  “I didn’t know…” he trails off.

  “What? What don’t you know?” I ask.

  “Never mind, it’s stupid. Love is stupid and worthless and disappointing. Why do people love other people? What’s the point? You end up getting your heart broken in the end, and then you know it was all for nothing. Just forget I even said anything.” He walks away, leaving me alone with my swarming questions.

  Love is stupid? Worthless? Disappointing? What’s that supposed to mean? Why does he think that? He has no reason to be mad at me! I’m so confused right now. I can’t even feel happy about my own engagement. I march over to where he stands, looking down at the ground far below, rope in his hand.

  “We need to talk, right now,” I say, and I think I startled him, because he jumps back a little.

  “I told you to forget about it, okay,” Kelton says defensively.

  “How can I when you stole every bit of happiness I’ve felt in a long time? I haven’t been able to smile, without someone taking it away. Besides Daniel, I’m the one who’s felt the most pain around here. So you better explain yourself, because I’m not fooling around.” I’m practically shouting at him. I want him to know I’m serious.

  He takes a deep breath and looks me in the eye. His bluish-green eyes turn sad. “You don’t want to know. If you want to remain happy for the rest of your life, it’s better I don’t tell you.”

  My glare hardens, which I did
n’t think was possible. “I don’t care, I want you to tell me,” I say. “I’m already miserable from your little outburst.” He takes another deep breath.

  “I’m too late,” he says. “Too late to win your heart.”

  I almost fall off the platform. It couldn’t have been a worse time for him to tell me that. To tell me that he’s in love with me. I think I start to fall, because he grabs my hand and pulls me away from the platform.

  “I told you, you wouldn’t want to know,” he says, sighing in a way that makes me think I should’ve just listened to him.

  “No,” I say, steadying myself with the help of his hand. “I’m glad you told me. But why didn’t you tell me sooner?” He just looks down at the ground.

  “I knew Daniel loved you, I mean it was obvious, and I knew that since you guys had known each other for so long, you would obviously choose him over me. It would have made things awkward between us, not that we even know each other, and I didn’t want that to happen. I’m sorry, I just didn’t know I had no time left to tell you.”

  I look over to where Daniel is talking with Kyle, wondering what he would think of all this. “It’s just, I barely even know you,” I say quietly. I finally make eye contact with him, the blue in his eyes like water, pulling me in. “And you barely know us. Besides the fact that you lied to us and captured us, and the only thing I know about your past is you came here to steal something and got caught.” I almost start yelling at him. I take a deep breath and try again. “My point is, if things were to ever work out, I would need to know a lot more about you. I would have to be able to trust you. I trust Daniel and know lots about him. That’s why I said yes to him.” I can’t believe I’m even entertaining the idea of being with him.

  Kelton still doesn’t look me in the eye. He knows I’m right, which gives me a hint to his personality. He doesn’t like to admit that he’s wrong. Why? I almost ask the question out loud but refrain. He’s probably stubborn, like my father or Daniel.... I realize my list could be a mile long with how many stubborn people I know.