Spaced Out

by Korissa Allen

  “My mother hated my father, and vise versa,” Kelton begins. “They only got married because they would’ve both turned thirty within the next couple of months. They fought, and sometimes it got violent. My mother always cared for me, but my father hated me. It was because he knew he had to share me with her. He never acknowledged me or even cared that I existed. I was fine with that, considering how mean he was to my mother.”

  “One day, I left home. I overheard some kids at my school say they were going to join the Rebel Base. The Rebel Base stopped anything that was Corps-related. I wanted to join, because then we wouldn’t have all of those stupid laws.”

  He takes a breath, as if telling his story was harder work than running five miles. “So I joined, hoping that my parents would separate and I would never have to see my father again. I went to their base and signed up. The age requirement was fourteen years old, and, thank goodness, I had just turned fourteen the month before. A week later, we all got assigned our first mission, and mine was to go to the Corps’ headquarters and steal one of the uniforms so they could make a copy of it. The idea was they would act like a Corps’ guard and infiltrate the building. It was a brilliant plan, but I wasn’t the one for the job.”

  He stops and waits for a reaction, but when I don’t do anything, he continues. “They caught me within minutes after I got there. The mission was a failure. Everyone who was on the ship with me was either tortured or killed. Sometimes both. I knew it was all my fault, and I could never forgive myself. That’s why I have to escape and get back to the base so I can explain what went wrong all of those years ago. And I need your help to get out of here. I know you don’t trust me, and you have reason not to, but I don’t exactly have a reason to trust you either.” There’s something about that question that makes me mad.

  He lied to us and got us knocked out and thrown in cells, and he doesn’t trust me? I haven’t done anything to him that would cause him not to trust me. “You told me you loved me. How can you love someone you don’t trust?” I ask.

  “I trust you. I just want to know why I should.”

  “I haven’t done anything that should cause your trust to falter,” I say angrily.

  “Look, I know you love Daniel, and there’s nothing I can do about that, but if you let me prove to you that I can be trustworthy, I will,” he says and once again walks away, as if somehow that’s going to end the conversation. I have a million questions I want to ask him, but….

  “What was that all about?” I hear Daniel say from behind me. I turn around and immediately feel tension between us that wasn’t there before. He shouldn’t be mad at you. First, because he doesn’t know what was said, and second, because even if he did hear, it’s not like I love Kelton back, right?

  “Oh, I was just telling him that we were getting married, and he seemed okay with it,” I say, my voice rushing. I have to be careful not to trip over my words.

  “Okay with it? What, is he like, our judge, telling us what we can and can’t do?” he asks, sounding exasperated. “I’ve never really liked him, or trusted him, and you shouldn’t either.” Right now, trust feels like a looming weight I can’t get away from.

  “Of course not, I just told him so he was aware. Definitely not because I care about his opinion,” I say and add a little giggle for effect. Daniel slowly starts to smile, and I know he buys my act, but I’ll never get past the fact that I’ve lied to my future husband. Guilt starts creeping into me, covering me like a shadow. I’ve never lied to him before, because there was never a need to. I don’t want him to know about what Kelton really said and how he took our engagement announcement, because if he finds out, things will never be the same.

  “It’s time for everyone to get some sleep. We have a big day tomorrow, and we’ll need all the energy we can get!” my father practically sings.

  He has a good voice, or least from what I remember, but I’m too tired to care about voices. Besides, the voice in my head that keeps urging me to tell Daniel the truth is a nuisance.

  My eyes may be too heavy to keep lifting and my muscles too weak to move, but I can’t sleep. I know that I’ll have nightmare after nightmare of things that may not seem scary to most people, but they are, and always will be, to me. I figure Daniel will be up most of the night as well, so at least I’ll have him to keep me company.

  This is your chance to confess your lie, the voice in my head keeps telling me. No one else will hear, and it’s not like Daniel can do anything until morning. I almost start to believe it but stop myself. One of the main reasons Daniel loves you is because he can trust you. If you confess, the wedding is off. Is this what I want? To always have one lie kept from him, a really important lie? Technically speaking, you didn’t lie to him, you just didn’t tell him the full truth. Don’t feel guilty.

  Before I know it, I’m dreaming. I guess my eyes couldn’t handle it any longer. I know I’m dreaming because my mother and father stand in front of me, holding hands and smiling. “My daughter, I know Daniel means the world to you, but is he the right choice?” my mother in my dream asks me. I want to ask her what she means or who would be a better choice, but Kyle wakes me up before I get the chance.

  “Wake up, sleepyhead! It’s time to go!” he says, way too cheery for the morning. I groan and turn over to my side, away from Kyle and the blinding light.

  Sun, sun, go away; come back when I’m more awake, I think. I almost start laughing.

  Kyle walks around to the other side of my body and yells in my ear “Wake up, or we’re leaving you behind!” At this, my eyes dart open and I sit up. Kyle starts laughing his high-pitched laugh and then turns to Kelton. “I knew that would wake her up.” They both start laughing.

  “You guys are so mean,” I say, rubbing my eyes. I walk over to them and take the small, flat pillow that my father found and start playfully hitting them with it. They put up their arms in defense. Kelton snatches the pillow from my grasp and starts hitting me with it. I run away from them, trying not to get hit, but Kelton is a lot faster than me, and he catches up to me within seconds. He picks me up and tosses me over his shoulder, swinging me around. I kick and scream and laugh until I’m dizzy and my head hurts. Kelton puts me down, and we all start laughing until our sides ache.

  I catch a quick glimpse of Daniel out of the corner of my eye. He looks sad, like he wishes he could join in on the fun but considers it too childish for him. Our eyes meet for a second, but he turns away quickly. The same guilty feeling I had last night returns. I want to run over to him and give him a hug, tell him that I lied to his face and feel really bad about it, but instead I turn away and look at Kelton and Kyle, who are now wrestling with each other. It looks like Kelton is winning, but I figured that. I can tell Kelton doesn’t like losing, and something tells me he doesn’t lose often.

  Kyle gives up after a few seconds and rolls to the side, panting. He blinks his long eyelashes, and Kelton raises his fist to give him a fist bump. A smile creeps on my face, and I realize now how much Kelton and Kyle are alike. They’re both strong and willing to help others and can make me laugh without really trying. Kelton looks over at me and flashes his perfect, white, straight teeth. I look down at my mud-covered shoes and blush.

  How could he love someone like me? I think to myself. I’m not extremely pretty or smart. I’m just your average girl, who seeks adventure and thrill. There’s nothing special about that. But even as I tell myself this, I begin to realize how untrue it is. Guys like Kelton don’t look for pretty faces and the smarts of Einstein, just someone who can laugh at themselves and is not uptight about everything. I guess he thinks that person is me.

  I look back over to Kelton and Kyle, who continue wrestling each other, and think about what things would be like if we had never met Kelton. Daniel doesn’t do things like wrestling and fist bumps; instead he would look at all of the reasons why it’s pointless and stupid. I stand up and walk over to Daniel, who seems to be working on some kind of contraption.

&nbs
p; “What are you doing?” I ask. He looks at me like it should be obvious, but I give him a blank expression that tells him I’m clueless.

  “It’s for the ship taking us back. It holds more oil than the other one did, so I figured it would get us farther. What are you doing?” he asks me. I know he’s actually asking what Kelton and Kyle are doing, but I don’t answer. If he really wanted to know, he would ask them himself.

  “Seems pretty reckless to me. They could break something or get hurt. Maybe you should go and tell them to stop,” Daniel says without glancing my way. I don’t know why, but something about him commanding me to do things irritates me.

  “You know, if you want them to stop, you should go tell them yourself,” I snap. He looks up at me and rolls his eyes.

  “Can’t you see I’m busy? I’m trying to build this so we can leave this place,” he says and lowers his head back to his work. I can tell he’s jealous of Kelton, because while he’s working really hard to get us out of here, Kelton can fool around and play with my younger brother. Daniel doesn’t say anything more, so I turn around and walk over to Kelton and Kyle, who are now thumb wrestling. I sit down right in front of them, and Kelton turns to look at me.

  “You might want to look at your competition. He looks like he could take the lead,” I say with a laugh. Kelton looks back at Kyle with determination in his eyes. For a brief moment, it looks like Kyle might actually win, but Kelton moves his thumb out of the way, allowing Kyle’s thumb to fall. Kelton smashes his thumb on top of Kyle’s and easily takes the win. They unlock hands, and Kyle rubs his thumb with his opposite hand.

  “Thanks a lot,” he says to me, but I can see the smile threatening to take over his scowl. I start to laugh, and I can feel Daniel’s eyes on the back of my neck, but I keep laughing anyway. If Daniel wants to play the jealous game, then I will definitely help him.

  My father comes back in the room from who knows where. He shows Daniel a piece of metal, which he fidgets with for a while before finally placing it to the side of his contraption. My father claps him on the back and walks over to me.

  “So, what do you think?” he asks. I look at him with a blank expression.

  “About what?” I ask back.

  “About Daniel. About his marriage proposal. I mean, I saw the way you looked at him. Anyone with a pair of working eyes could see that you loved him. I’m happy for both of you,” he says cheerfully. I swallow hard, but the lump in my throat makes it hurt.

  “Yeah,” I barely squeak out. My throat is dry, which makes it hard for any words to come out. My father puts his hand on my shoulder and pulls me close to him. Would he be angry if I told him that things weren’t exactly working like they used to? It was his idea to let us get married, but he’s not always right. My father kisses my forehead and walks off but stops and turns around.

  “By the way, I’ve been meaning to ask you how your mother is doing? Ever talk about me?” he asks, his voice full of hope. He doesn’t know that I left the family, trying to find what he didn’t.

  “Um… not really,” I say. His smile drops. “But, I think it’s because it’s a rough subject. She doesn’t want the pain to come back from losing you. I’m sure she’ll be excited to see you, thrilled even!” He nods, as if he understands, and walks away. The smile doesn’t return. I sigh and look down to the ground below.

  Life was much easier before Kelton climbed up that rope, I think. I don’t know if I love him, but I definitely don’t hate him. He did what he had to do, and he came back to save me. Kyle thinks he’s great, even if he always loses at the games they play. The only thing now is to convince my father that I’ve fallen in love with a Corps’ guard.

  I need to catch my breath. In love with him? No, that’s not right. I love Daniel, not Kelton. I keep telling myself this, because if I keep hearing it, I might actually start to believe it. Right now, my top priority is to get these people as far from here as possible or to wherever their homes are. I can’t think about stupid love right now.

  I think back to when Kelton first told me he loved me or just before that. He said love was stupid, and pointless, and disappointing. Was he referring to me, that loving me is pointless because I will never love him back? Disappointing because loving me is like loving a dangerous storm, you only get hurt the more you stick around? If that’s the case, then why has he not left yet? Because he knows you love him. He hasn’t left because he’s waiting for you to realize it. It’s this thought that scares me the most. But I’ve made up my mind, and there’s no going back.

  Kelton stands off to the side, picking up pieces of used metal and bringing them over to Daniel. He walks back over to the edge of the platform. This is my chance, to see how much he actually loves me. I grab a thin rope that lies on the ground next to me and tie it to my waist and then to a notch in the platform. The rope is thin enough that it won’t be seen by anyone but me. I position my feet at the edge of the platform, and when I know he’s looking, I cross my arms over my chest and fall backward off the platform.

  It’s a long way down, so he has enough time to think about what to do. I’m only about halfway down when something hits me hard, from the side, knocking the wind out of me. I close my eyes tight and don’t open them until I know what hit me. I feel a strong hand wrap around my waist, and I open my eyes. Kelton holds on to me, one hand on a different rope and one hand around me. He looks straight ahead, not wanting to meet my eyes. Even in his strong grasp, I start to slip, so I throw my arms around his neck and hold on.

  He saved me. I don’t know why this surprises me, because I knew he would. Because he loves me….

  “Hold on tight,” he whispers to me, and I pull myself a little closer. The top of the platform gets closer, and I begin to wonder how we’re going to stick the landing. I close my eyes, and seconds later I feel my hair go upward, over my head, and back to its normal position. I open my eyes one at a time, and when I do, we’re safely on the platform. I release a breath I didn’t even know I was holding, and Kelton sets me down.

  My legs shake so much that I sit down, cross-legged, and start to cry. Kelton sits next to me and allows for me to cry in peace. He doesn’t know why I’m crying. He probably thinks I was scared or something, but that’s the least of my issues. He puts his arm around me, and I cry into his shirt. I eventually stop and fall asleep, his arm around me, my head on his shoulder. This time my father is in my dream.

  “He’s always been the right one. I was wrong. Follow your heart.” I wake up only to find out it’s the middle of the night and Kelton sleeps next to me. His back is propped up against a steel beam, his arm still around me. He looks peaceful but tense at the same time. His chest rises and falls in a lulling rhythm.

  I now know what my mother in my dream meant. Maybe Daniel isn’t the right choice. I know it was just a dream, but both of my parents agree Daniel isn’t right for me. Somehow, I’ll have to ask my father what he thinks, in real life. Tomorrow, tomorrow I’ll tell him… I think before I slip back to sleep.

  It comes way too soon. I have not been asleep for more than a couple of hours. The bright light from the window comes into the room, but I want to keep sleeping. Kelton is nowhere in sight, but I’m guessing he’s helping my father. Kyle is standing next to Daniel, asking him about what he’s doing. Daniel talks without glancing at Kyle, and I can tell he’s annoyed, but not necessarily from the questions. I stand up and brush the dirt off my pants.

  My father walks out from behind a pillar on the far side of the platform, but he’s alone. I start to panic. Kelton is nowhere, not helping my father, not talking to Daniel or playing with Kyle. Did he leave? Why? Where is he? My head starts to spin, and I have to sit down to steady myself. I look down at the ground, the only thing that makes my head stop spinning. If I fall, will he magically save me again? I don’t want to though. It was scary the first time, and it might not work again. But I almost fall without even trying. I see a shadow down on the ground move, the shadow in the shape of a person. I
t startles me, and I feel dizzy again. But the shadow stops moving, and the source of the shadow stops in between two cages. Kelton… I think, before I fall toward the ground many yards below.

  I must have blacked out. My mind is awake, but my body isn’t. I want to move, but I can’t. “How is she doing?” I hear someone, probably my father, say.

  “I ran as fast as I could. I barely caught her before she hit the ground. I think she’ll be okay, though,” I hear Daniel say. I’m confused, but disappointment soon takes over. Why didn’t Kelton save me? He was closer, wasn’t he?

  “Good, let her rest. She needs a break, although she hasn’t been doing much. Don’t bother her, okay Kyle?” I hear my father say.

  “Okay,” Kyle says. I hear two sets of footsteps, but it sounds more like an army. “Hello?” Kyle’s voice is inches from my face.

  Stop it! I want to yell, but my throat is too dry to talk. I want to open my eyes, but they feel as if they are glued shut. Kyle places one of his thin fingers on my forehead. The will for my arm to move is gone. I have no feeling, no nerves. I’m lucky I can still think. Kyle tries a few more times before he finally gives up and leaves me alone. I want to move, and I want to ask what happened to me, ask why I can’t move. But as much as I try, I can’t move or even open my eyes. My thoughts swirl back and forth until eventually I fall asleep.

  I wake up again, but this time my eyes open. I move my arm and gulp in a huge breath of air. “She’s awake!” I hear Kyle yell. Footsteps thunder on the ground, and then my father appears in front of my eyes.

  “Hey there, sunshine! How are you doing?” he asks me. I turn my head to the left and see Daniel standing a few feet away, crossing his arms and smiling.

  “I’m fine, I guess. How long have I been out?” Daniel uncrosses his arms and allows for his smile to fade. “You’ve been out for a little over a day,” my father says. “I was starting to worry.” At first I smile, but then my smile fades to a frown. I remember what he said whenever I was last conscious but not really. Able to hear, but not respond. Able to formulate thoughts, but not act on them.