Spaced Out

by Korissa Allen

  “Where are they keeping the other guy they found?” Kelton asks.

  “Somewhere on the third floor, I think. Right near Commander’s office. I think he’s doing that on purpose, though. To lure us. Commander is using that kid as bait. So the question is: are we going to take it? Is this kid really worth it?” Max asks.

  Kelton looks back at me, our eyes meeting for only a second before he turns around. “Yes, he is definitely worth it. You’ve known me long enough to know that I would risk anything for the people I care about.” He looks back at me again.

  “Of course,” Max says, like he should have known the answer all along. “It was stupid of me to ask. Come on, I’ll show you where he’s keeping him.” He turns his head down, like he’s ashamed for asking such a ridiculous question. I start to pity him, but then remember he and Kelton are friends, or at least close acquaintances. Friends don’t take things personally. At least, I hope that’s true.

  Before I met Daniel, and before I went on my journey, I had a best friend at school. Her name was Layla, and she had the prettiest blonde hair. It flowed down her back in waves and had a certain shimmer that you could recognize anywhere. She had her own group of popular friends, but I was desperate for someone to talk to. I walked up to her one day and asked if she wanted to be my friend. She laughed and walked away to talk with her group of friends.

  I was really confused at first, but then I realized she was laughing because she thought I was joking. At the time, people called me a freak, because I talked to myself a lot, but I stopped after a while. They still told me I was a freak. A couple days later, she came up to me after school and told me how she felt sorry for me.

  “I didn’t mean to laugh at you the other day,” she said then. “My friends say I shouldn’t talk to you because you’re a freak. What they don’t know is that I used to talk to myself also.” She winked at me and walked off for the second time that week, but this time I felt better about myself. We were friends ever since, until her family moved to a different planet and never came back.

  I never knew why she left, other than the fact that she had to move, but most people don’t leave unless they have to. You can’t guarantee any homes in most areas in the galaxy, so some people end up living homeless for a while until the government has to do something about it.

  There were plenty of things I didn’t tell Layla. I considered her my best friend, but things didn’t click like they did with her other friends. We talked about how we spent our days away from school, what kinds of makeup we found to have the best results, and what we thought of the work they gave us to do at home, but never anything deep. I didn’t know how to have a deep conversation until I met Daniel, who changed the way I viewed people. He spoke his mind and what he thought of other people and didn’t mind that I had no idea who he was talking about. I liked to think that he was like me, talking to whoever wanted to listen, but since no one ever did, people thought he was talking to himself.

  I think that was when I started to have feelings for him. I saw myself in him more than I had in anyone else, and I could tell him whatever I wanted without him judging. Layla judged me on everything I said, so I let her do most of the talking and only spoke when necessary. Daniel allowed for me to be my true self, and that’s what I miss most about him.

  Max leads us to an elevator that will take us down to the third floor, where we can find this mystery person Kelton and Max were talking about. We step into the elevator, and a gate shuts in front of us, and then steel doors slide in front of the gate. David pushes a button that has a small number 3 written on it. The elevator jolts as it begins to bring us back down to the ground, and I feel my ears pop. I look over at Kyle, who’s holding his ears. Elevators are a luxury, and many people have never been in them before. I have a few times before today. The launch pad back on Coreno had a few of them.

  “You three might want to step back,” Max says when we reach the third floor. “At least until we can make sure it’s secure.”

  My father steps back, grabbing Kyle’s shoulders. I follow him but wonder why Kelton doesn’t follow. He can’t do anything in the state he’s in. He grabs one of the railings on the side of the elevator and lets go of David’s shoulder. He looks at me, embarrassment registering on his face.

  “What?” I ask gently, hoping that he can explain his current facial expression.

  “It’s just, I don’t want you to see me like this,” he says sheepishly. “I’ve always felt the need to be strong around you. And I do feel stronger, at least more than I used to. Whatever happens, I don’t ever want to go back to the way I used to be.” I nod.

  With Kyle and my father standing right there, it makes it hard to say anything back to him. I haven’t had the chance to tell him how I feel about him, Daniel jumping, and even the fact that my father is still alive. I’m not the type of person who opens up easily to other people. Daniel was the only person I was comfortable with telling things to. But the more I think about Daniel, the more my chest tightens with longing, wanting him to be right here next to me. And what hurts the most is that I’m the reason he isn’t here.

  Max and David position their guns on the door so that when it opens, they’re prepared to shoot whoever fires at us. They explain the plan to us: they will go out first to make sure the coast is clear, and then they will signal us to leave the elevator. Once that happens, Kelton leads Kyle, my father, and me down the hall. He knows where the room is that holds this mysterious person. We will find the person and bring him or her back to the platform along with Max and David and return home.

  “As long as no one deviates from the plan, we should be in and out in less than a couple of minutes. Any questions?” Max asks making me think of a drill sergeant. We all shake our heads no. “Good, then move out!”

  I stand back as Max and David storm out of the elevator. Kelton’s arms are around my father and Kyle’s shoulders. I stand at the edge of the elevator, ready to give the signal. As soon as I do, the plan is to run down the hall and into one of the rooms, whichever one Kelton chooses. According to Max, Kelton is the only one of us who knows which room this person is in.

  This floor, unlike the rest of the floors in this building, doesn’t have a specific color. The walls on all sides of us glow blue and white, as if there are light generators behind them. Plastic borders line each of the office rooms, which also glow blue and white. All of the bordered rooms look the same, as in small, cramped cubicles.

  “Kelton,” I say gently, “do you really know which room it is?”

  “Yes, there is no way I would forget,” he says back, his voice full of sorrow. I try to respond, but the words stick to my throat. Kelton hasn’t shown emotion like this since I’ve known him. It makes me want to cry, and hug him, and laugh all at once. I keep my face straight, making sure no emotion gets to it. I don’t want to make him feel worse.

  A few minutes later, after weaving around a few office cubicles, he finds the room that we are supposed to go to and knocks on the door. I get that feeling of regret again, but last time he did something spontaneous, we found Max and David. I trust him; he knows this place better than me.

  “Can I see the ring of cards?” Kelton asks my father. He hands them over without hesitating but never takes his eyes off of Kelton. “Thank you.”

  Fingering through the ring of cards, he chooses one of them labeled: Office Rooms (203). I look at the room number next to the door and find that they match. I shouldn’t have second-guessed him, but sometimes I can’t help it. He slides the card into a slot underneath the door number, and the pressurized door unlocks with a hiss. I begin to wonder if all of the doors make that sound, but I know they do. Why would this door be different from the others?

  Kyle pulls on the door, just enough to see inside. The door looks light, like only a thin tarp, but from the way Kyle strains, it seems to be much heavier than I thought. My father slips inside, followed by Kelton and then Kyle. I hesitate, which seems stupid considering Kyle and my f
ather went into the room without a second thought. I move toward the door but don’t make it more than a few steps before I hear two gunshots, and everything goes black.

  “Zandrea, come back. Zandrea,” a voice says, distantly. I try to respond, but my mouth doesn’t move like I want it to. I try to move my arm, but I’m met by an extreme sense of pain. If I could move, my whole body would tense. My eyes seem to be glued shut, but I can see a faint red glow from behind my eyelids. “Zandrea,” the voice says again. The voice sounds angelic, and I wonder if I’m dead. Someone else starts to talk, but the voice isn’t as angelic and smooth.

  “Zandrea! Wake up! You have to. We found someone who wants to see you!” The voice belongs to Kyle, I realize, and I’m not dead. But I also can’t move. Why? Every muscle in my body feels locked, tense, but I can’t release them. I have to, I have to see this mystery person. Why does my whole world stop right when I feel like I’m finally getting what I want?

  There is one voice that will always bring me back, no matter what. But that voice died a few days ago. A voice so sweet and musical, like there was always a song in it but never had the chance to release it. The only voice strong enough to bring me back, I discern, is Daniel’s.

  Daniel is dead, I tell myself. Nothing will bring him back. I am the reason he jumped. He wanted me to be happy and thought jumping was the best way to solve that problem. It only made it worse, because now, I feel like nothing is worth living for. I might as well not even try and let death slowly eat away at me, until I am nothing anymore. At least that way, I’ll be with Daniel again.

  My plan to let death eat away at me must work, because eventually, I hear Daniel’s voice, telling me I have to wake up. For him. To come back to him. That’s strange, I think. If Daniel wants me to come back to life, why would he be contradicting himself? Does he want me to live or go to him? And then I understand what he means. The thought sounds ridiculous, even before I have time to think it through, but I know what he’s trying to tell me. He’s alive somehow and wants me to come back to him.

  If I wasn’t trying before, I am now. Fighting every instinct to push the darkness aside and see him. A sad but wonderful thought hits me. I have four people I love who are waiting for my return to consciousness. Others don’t even have one. It’s this thought, combined with Daniel living, that makes me fight the hardest to get back.

  The darkness of being unconscious gradually begins to fade. This is it, I think. I’m almost back. I can almost see him right in front of me, guiding me back to life. I’m going crazy. Now that I have a little more time to think, I realize how impossible it would be for Daniel to be here right now. But the darkness fades, and my vision becomes blurry. I can make out three figures, but I can’t tell which one is which. I command my eyes to blink, and somehow they do. I try to wiggle my fingers and move my arm. It’s slow, but they do move.

  “Wha-” I try to say, but I can’t finish my question before Kyle throws his arms around me, nearly tackling me, and pulls me closer to him.

  “Zandrea!” Kyle squeals with delight. “I’m so glad you’re back! We thought you were dead.” He squeezes me so hard I begin to feel a little lightheaded. I gasp. He pulls back, grinning from ear to ear. Kelton sits behind him, smiling, but it’s a sad smile. I look around, trying to find my father, but my eyes land on someone else.

  I try to say his name, but the words get caught in my throat. It comes out sounding more like a groan. He is sitting three feet in front of me, and yet my brain can’t believe what my eyes are seeing. He can’t be there, but he is. My head starts to hurt from trying to process all of this information, and I have to blink a few times to clear my vision. Everything blurs, and I don’t know why until I feel a tear stream down my cheek. My brain has finally processed the fact that he really is here, in front of me, saying my name.

  “Daniel. You’re alive,” are the only words I manage before more tears choke me, making my throat swell. Kyle moves over a little, allowing for Daniel to come and sit next to me. He wraps his warm arms around my shoulders and pulls me close to his body. I tremble, but my vision only blurs more. His hand rests at the back of my head as he smooths my hair, a comforting gesture that makes me feel like a child. “How… are you… alive?” I sob so hard my voice comes out in sputters.

  “I can tell you that later,” he says gently. “Right now, you need to rest and get better. You got shot in your stomach. Thankfully, the bullet didn’t hit any vital organs. Your father went to go get some aid for you.”

  “Where would he get aid for me in this building?” I ask him tiredly through breaths. The bullet wound in my stomach explains me not being able to breathe completely.

  “I don’t know. Hopefully he comes back soon. He’s been gone for almost a half hour. How are you feeling?” He says it so casually that I begin to panic. If my father has been gone for almost a half hour, then he could be in serious danger.

  I place my hands on the ground next to me and try to push up. The feeling of lightheadedness is back, but I fight it off. My father might need me, and I can’t leave him stranded when he has been there to help me so many times.

  “What do you think you’re doing?” Daniel’s voice sounds almost like a command. “Sit back down. There is no way you’re going to get anywhere in this condition.” Despite our reunion, his tone is serious, almost scolding.

  “My father could be in trouble. I have to do something. I owe that to him,” I tell him.

  “You don’t owe him anything. He wanted to do this for you. If someone is going, it should be Kelton or I. We know this place the best.”

  I’m about to ask him what he means by that last comment when my father emerges from around one of the office cubicles. “Father!” I say as I try to stand up but then remember I was shot. The pain surges through me, and I wince.

  He rushes over to me with a medical kit in his hand. “Don’t stand up unless you have someone to help you. You could injure yourself even more if you do that.” He sighs. “Finding this kit was difficult, but you know I would do anything for you. Where does it hurt the most?”

  I pull my shirt up slightly and point to the wound. This is the first time I’ve looked at it, and I almost throw up. I’ve never been good with blood, and it seems to have soaked part of my shirt. I touch the wound gingerly before turning to Daniel, searching for the comfort I’ve longed for. My father opens the kit and digs around for something to help my wound. He finds some disinfectant, but as he touches my bullet wound, I wince. He retracts but tries again when I’ve stopped moving. I fight every urge in my body to tell him to stop; I know he’s helping me, but it feels like he’s only making it worse.

  To distract myself from the pain, I decide to ask about the wound itself. “What happened? Who shot me?”

  “We were trying to get Daniel out of his containment cell,” Kelton begins, “but Max and David couldn’t keep everything contained. Two of the guards ran past them and aimed their guns at you. I think they both shot, but one of them missed. The other caught you in your stomach.” He looks at me, his eyes filled with grief. “I should’ve let you go in first. I guess I wasn’t thinking. I should’ve checked to make sure we were all clear, I-” He stops talking because tears threaten to spill over his bottom eyelid. He turns away from me.

  “Kelton,” I say softly. “You didn’t know what was going to happen. It might have happened to any of us, but they were just lucky and got me. It’s not your fault. No one is blaming you but yourself. Trust me, I would have rather taken the bullet than let it hit you.” He looks at me but doesn’t seem convinced.

  Something hits me hard emotionally. I had to choose between Daniel and Kelton before, and then Daniel supposedly jumped off a building. I thought that, even though it made me upset, I was going to choose Kelton in the end, because that’s what Daniel told me to do. Now that I know Daniel is alive, it’s a lot more complicated. I stare at him a little longer than necessary, and he gives me a weird look back. My eyes glance over at Kelton, wh
o playfully slugs Kyle in the arm, his eyes still red. I smile. They get along really well, almost like the brother Kyle never had. Instead, he got a sister who dragged him right into the middle of danger, almost got him killed, and was forced to grow up seeing the galaxy for what it really is: a power-hungry war zone controlled by the Corps.

  A sudden flashback hits me, and I am forced to remember the week before my father left. We were sitting in the living room, and I heard a forceful knock on our front door and tapped my mother on her leg. She was holding Kyle in her arms, sleeping peacefully, not knowing what was about to happen to any of us.

  My mother walked over to the door, opened it slightly, and peered out into the night. Two Corps guards stood on the porch, neither one smiling.

  “Sorry for coming by so late in the night, but we have some important information to discuss with you,” the first guard said. My father walked around the corner. He looked upset by the late night visit.

  “What is going on? Why are you here at this hour?” My father almost shouted at them. If he had, they could have arrested him on the spot. I held onto my father’s pant leg, hoping the guards couldn’t see me and hoping that if they did decide to arrest him, maybe I could hold him back.

  “Again, we are sorry for coming by so late. We have a message for Jordan Knowles. We need to speak to you in private. Please show us to a room,” the second guard says.

  My father allowed them in and showed them to a room around the corner. Our house was smaller, but it had many rooms. We could each have our own room, if we wanted, plus a room for toys and books, one for clothes, a guest room, and two bathrooms. To me, it was heaven. And being so little and young, it made the world seem even bigger, which allowed for my creative genes to be put to the test.

  My mother had held me back, telling me not to go with my father. “That’s a conversation for adults, not children. Besides, it’s time for you to get to bed.” She walked me up the stairs, Kyle in her arms, into my pink and blue room and helped me get my pajamas on: a long pink dress with flowers printed on the front and sides. “You look very pretty,” my mother had told me. I spun around so my nightgown ballooned outward like a tornado.