Fragile

by Skyler Snow

  “Hey, Jack! Over here!” A voice rose over the general chatter and I turned to look. Tom was sitting at a table holding a cup of coffee. He had changed clothes, too, from his baggy t-shirt and shorts to a large sweater and tight fitting jeans, but it was definitely the same Tom. e looked different and it wasn’t just his clothes.

  “Hello.” I sat down, looking him over. He hadn’t done anything with his hair or changed anything besides his clothes, but there was an air around him now. Calmer, more composed. He was smiling and we were sitting close enough for me to see the freckles on his face and his bright blue eyes alive with a burning curiosity and intelligence that took me by surprise. Tom seemed like such a laid back young man, but his entire composure seemed to have changed in the hours since I saw him last. Maybe I had judged him a little too quickly.

  “So,” Tom folded his arms on the table, “Elliot’s been a little worried about you. He sent me to talk to you.” He smiled and I awkwardly tried to return it. His voice was soft and smooth and almost motherly as he spoke. It was almost like I was the child and he was the adult. His clothing choice made sense now, though. It made him look more composed.

  “Yeah, you mentioned that before. Why, exactly?” The world shrunk down to just the two of us and the noises surrounding us faded away as Tom lifted his cup of coffee up to his mouth and took a small sip. All of his movements were slow and deliberate. It was strangely hypnotic.

  “He’s your son. He’s always worried about you. And of course, you’ve just had a little bit of a shock. So he thinks it would be a good idea for you to talk to someone. Someone you don’t know well.” Tom gestured to himself, then at me with that faint smile still on his face. “So this. I don’t know you, you don’t know me. There’s no risk in telling me anything. Think of me as your bartender or therapist, whichever you need.”

  He wasn’t wrong I did need to talk to someone and since the person I would usually confide in was part of the people that I needed to talk about. I guess Tom was a gift horse. And as the saying went…

  Still I said, “You might tell Elliot.” I leaned back in my seat and folded my arms. He was right on every point, and I knew that he wasn’t lying when he said that Elliot was worried about me, but I had never been the type to just open up.

  “I would never.” His voice was suddenly serious. “I’d never break a confidence.”

  I opened my mouth to make some sort of jab at him, but instead I snapped it back shut and considered the man in front of me, who really didn’t have to say yes to talking to his friend’s dad, but had. He didn’t deserve me being flippant. I raised my hand and ordered a coffee from the waitress. I was quiet for a while, but Tom was patient. He simply waited until I felt like speaking again. “I’ll feel like an asshole.”

  “So,” Tom leaned forward. “Be an asshole.”

  I sighed. “I don’t love the relationship between my son and Scott. There, I said it.” Just saying it out loud I grimaced. “Scott’s a great guy,” I tacked on quickly.

  “But he’s much older and you don’t really want that for Elliot.”

  My shoulders sagged. “Yeah. I know I’ll get over it, but right now I’m fighting the urge to snatch my son and get out of here.” I pushed my fingers through my hair. “Not that I have a choice. He’s an adult. I can’t make him do or not do anything.”

  “Hey, that’s not true. Ground him.” Tom grinned. “I would actually love to see that.”

  I laughed and caught myself, surprised. He’d pulled me out of my wallowing. “I’m sure he would love that.” I stirred my cup of coffee. “If anything I’m pretty sure you’re the one that needs to be grounded.”

  “Does that mean you’ll spank me?” Tom leaned on his hand and batted his lashes at me. “But the only thing that’ll teach me how to do is misbehave.”

  I swallowed thickly. “Well, um,” I stammered but shut my mouth when every reply my brain came up with was filled with innuendos.

  My pulse quickened and I found myself leaning forward, and had to pause. Yeah, No. You’re not about to flirt with your son’s friend. I wasn’t sure he knew it but Tom was tripping off all my buttons one by one.

  There was a part of me that wanted to see how Tom would react to someone that gave as good as he did. So I leaned forward, “I have a feeling taking you over my knee wouldn’t be a hardship.”

  Tom brow’s went up, and he licked his lips. “Look who knows how to flirt.”

  I snorted, was this kid for real. “Well, I do like this conversation a lot better,” I sipped at my coffee and watched Tom carefully.

  “Nope,” Tom held up a finger. “Don’t think I don’t see what you’re doing. Sorry but no changing the subject. Look I know you don’t want to talk about it but there’s more to this than just Scott and Elliot.”

  “Why does there have to be more, maybe I just have a problem with my best friend—”

  “Boning your son,” Tom chimed in.

  “Eloquently put,” I replied dryly.

  Tom raised a brow. “I’ve got all day.”

  “Damn it,” I muttered under my breath. I sighed, “I guess I’m not used to talking about myself.”

  “Well you’d better get comfortable because we’re not leaving until you tell me everything.”

  I raised a brow. “Everything?”

  “Every. Little. Thing.” He smiled. “Let’s start from the beginning.”

  “You’re a nosy one, aren’t you,” I said.

  Tom shot me a bright smile, “You’ll get used to it.”

  6

  Tom

  It was two days since I saw Jack and I wanted to meet up again. I’d considered sending him a message yesterday but I hadn’t. I’d actually picked up my phone and typed one out but it felt like I was doing the most. But two days was good. Well I thought it was.

  Elliot’s dad was interesting. He was almost like me, always exuding strength, but beneath all that I could see the cracks, maybe because they were so similar to mine.

  I stared down at my tablet, my pen poised in the air, there was just something about him…maybe it was the sad eyes. But even if Elliot hadn’t said I should keep an eye on Jack, I would have.

  I could tell when someone was trying their best to make everyone believe they were just fine. Before I really thought about it I sent him a text.

  Tom: Are you okay?

  I looked over at Elliot bent over working, I didn’t need to tell him I was hanging out with his dad. That was what he asked me to do.

  Jack: I didn’t think you’d text again. Did Elliot ask you to check up on me? Because I’m pretty sure I was a buzzkill.

  I snorted at his reply and thought about it for a second.

  Tom: Well… Maybe I’m a fan of Buzzkills. And no he didn’t… anyway would how would you feel about coffee?

  I bit my lips as I saw the three dots appear that said he was typing.

  Jack: I should take that personally but…beggars can’t be choosers.

  I snorted.

  Tom: I’m wounded. Mr! You should know I am Kobe steak, not damn brussel sprouts.

  Jack: I’m not sure I know what that means.

  I snorted of course he didn’t. Could he be any cuter?

  Tom: It means that I’m not the one you have to eat cos it’s good for you. Well Kobe is beef…protein which is good for you. But what I mean is I’m decadent, I’m the main course.

  For some reason I held my breath as I waited for his reply.

  Jack: You’re a lot I can see that now.

  I deflated, and let out a sigh, yeah that was expected. And it wasn’t the first time I’d heard it, so why was I so bummed about this? I put my phone down and looked at my unfinished armour, that players could pick for their characters.

  I sighed at work, I could count on work.

  Jack: So you were saying about coffee.

  My heart rate sped up. Okay so I wasn’t expecting that. I didn’t think he would reply.

  Tom: You said I was a lot.
>
  I bit my lips waiting for his answer all the while dreading it.

  Jack: Well maybe I’m a fan of a lot.

  I couldn’t stop the smile that spread across my face.

  Tom: I’ll pick you up at 7! Hope that’s not too late for your old man self.

  Jack: This old man would definitely be able to keep up with you. Anytime.

  Why did that sound dirty to me? And why did I have thoughts of a naked Jack suddenly. Shit. Nope I so wasn’t going there. Elliot’s dad, that was out of bounds right?

  I looked over at Elliot, nope…I wasn’t going there.

  Besides, Jack would never see me like that.

  7

  Jack

  I looked down at the rough sketch in front of me. I was working on a small project that had come in from a constructor friend of mine back home. A kitchen remodel and a home extension.

  It was nothing taxing so I let my mind wander. I’d been to dinner the day before with Scott and Elliot, apart from the awkward couple of moments when I arrived, it was actually not bad. Although it gave me a chance to watch the two of them together. And honestly I had to admit that my son looked happy and if I was honest so did my friend.

  I hadn’t seen it before but honestly, Scott looked like he’d dropped some weight. Not physically, but mentally. I felt bad not seeing how much it had weighed on him so I’d pulled him aside and asked why he’d never come out to me officially when we were younger.

  I felt like an ass not knowing. I always wondered why he was quick to accept invitations to come home for holidays with me when we’d been in school and now I knew. His parents had found out he was gay and shunned him. And that was what it had been. Thankfully he’d already had a scholarship so he’d been covered.

  But it somehow made Scott unable to come out to the closest people in his life. Me. Of course I’d had my theories, but they were never confirmed by him.

  Maybe it was selfish making it about me, but I had to make sure I hadn’t done anything to make him feel like I would have been anything other than supportive. In the middle of all that I’d fully ignored the voice that reminded me I was the pot calling the kettle black. But this week wasn’t about me, it was about making sure Elliot was good.

  So why did it feel like I was somehow saying goodbye?

  I let out a breath and closed my eyes. Maybe I needed a hobby. Why did that thought make me feel old, like I was about to take up water aerobics for seniors.

  Still I was doing what I’d set out to do the moment I heard about Elliot and Scott. I was making sure my kid was okay. But it didn’t help shake that melancholic knot in my stomach.

  Tom. His name popped into my head like words floating in the wind. I had to admit though I’d noticed his absence, especially because that little meet up with him had felt, refreshing. Yeah that was a good word.

  There was something about the young man that made me want to figure out if there was anything behind all that snark. I had a feeling there was. I’d seen a flash of vulnerability when he thought I wasn’t looking.

  That’s none of my concern.

  It really wasn’t but honestly. My stomach growled and I looked at the time, it was well past lunch. Crap. I stood up and went over to the phone by my bed. The thought of going out myself held little appeal so room service it was.

  I picked up the menu and scanned it. “A BLT looks good…” I murmured. I was about to order when a ping sounded on my phone. I looked over to the desk where I’d left it. It could have been Scott or Elliot wanting to do a late lunch. I hurried over, when I saw who it was I actually smiled.

  I hadn’t expected to hear from him again, at least not to hang out just the two of us.

  I wasn’t sure why I was nervous it was just coffee. But it was 6:50 and my palms were sweating like a teenager meeting their prom date’s father. Even though this was not a date…at least I didn’t think it was.

  There was a knock on my door and I looked in that direction. It couldn’t be Tom, he didn’t know my room number. As I walked to open it I found myself a little disappointed at the thought of having to cancel with Tom, with Elliot and Scott maybe having plans for us. Maybe I could get them to invite Tom too.

  But when I opened the door it was Tom.

  “Hi,” He gave me a small wave, that for some reason I found totally adorable.

  “Hello,” I said smiling, “You know for a second there I thought you were Scott and Elliot.”

  “Oh.” His face fell, but he hid it quickly. “Nope it’s just me, ready to rock your world, but if you need a rain check…”

  “I don’t,” I was quick to assure him, “I just meant I was expecting a text or something. You didn’t have my room number.”

  “Oh.” His face brightened, “Well I’m cute people usually have a hard time telling me no.”

  I snorted, “That I do believe.”

  “Why, Mr. Reade, I do believe you just agreed I was cute.” He fanned his face and batted his eyes at me, “Are you flirting with me?”

  I shook my head and laughed, “Funny guy.”

  “You know it,” Tom grinned, “come on let’s go.”

  I closed the door and followed after Tom. As we walked he got to chattering about random nothings, but for the first time all day my mood picked up. I was looking forward to just hanging out with Tom. I had a feeling with him the dull moments would be few.

  Maybe that was just what the doctor ordered.

  8

  Tom

  Jack and I had met up almost everyday after work the past week. He’d extended his stay by another week and I had a sneaky feeling he was putting off going back at all cost.

  Not that I wanted him too. With Jack I almost felt like I didn’t have to be on. He took me seriously which was a new feeling from a guy—nope he’s not a guy he’s Elliot’s dad don’t even think about it.

  Still no matter how many times I told myself this, it didn’t help. I liked hanging out with Jack.

  “Okay so we’ve been hanging out almost daily for two weeks, I think it’s time you actually tell me.”

  “Tell you what?” Jack feigned not knowing but he was a horrible liar.

  “Tell me all the stuff that you don’t want to say out loud.”

  “How do you know there’s stuff,” He asked with his brow raised.

  “Like I said we’ve spent almost every day together for almost two weeks, I notice stuff.”

  “Mmm. I guess I have to get better at hiding it then.” His tone was teasing but I could tell there was stuff he felt he needed to hide. I saw it clearer the times we’d hung out with Elliot and Scott.

  “I don’t quit so you might as well spit it out, or I’ll keep asking and asking and asking and.”

  Jack held up his hand, “Okay! Okay! I get it.” He took a deep breath and rubbed his brow. “Where do I start?”

  “Like Julie Andrews said, let’s start at the very beginning, the beginning is a good place to start.”

  “Sound of music,” Jack whispered, “I actually like that movie.”

  I chuckled, “Who doesn’t. Everyone likes watching Nazi’s lose. But nice try changing the subject.”

  “Can’t get anything passed you can I?”

  “Nope!”

  “Okay fine but no one wants to hear the sad tales of a single dad with empty nest syndrome.”

  “How about we give it a shot, don’t worry if you get too boring, I’ll stop you.” I shot him a wink.

  And my heart may have jumped when he beamed back at me.

  I listened to Jack as he really told me everything. It wasn’t just a list of problems, all separate from each other. Then again that came as no surprise, shit was rarely that easy.

  It went back years, decades even. Meeting Scott, meeting the woman he would marry and divorce, the emotional wreck that it left him. Scott’s presence throughout the divorce, the feelings, Elliot and now his new relationship. Years of pent up emotions came spilling out and I knew that I was hearing something that v
ery few, maybe no one knew about.

  It was always surprising to see how even the biggest people could look so small and unsure when things piled up on them. I reached out my hand toward his. He flinched away, but I held on, gently prying his hand out of the fist it had gone into as he spoke about the past.

  “That’s a lot to be dealing with.” I murmured, taking his other hand and gently squeezing it in mine. We were holding hands now, and I could feel his eyes on me, but I didn’t mind. Never had I seen a man that needed a hug more.

  “It doesn’t matter.” He was quick to defend himself. Being vulnerable did that to people and I had seen it enough times to know that it was normal. Opening up made people lash out. Jack was doing nothing more than protecting himself.

  “It does. And I get why Elliot’s worried now.” I smiled up at him, trying to reassure Jack that I understood. More than he knew. “You don’t know what to do without him.”

  He went still and quiet, his eyes glancing off as his lips pressed into a straight line. I let him think and collect himself. Even I could tell that more than surface emotions had been struck.

  “I’m lonely.” He finally admitted and laughed dryly. “Isn’t that pathetic?” He asked as he glanced at me.

  “No, it’s not pathetic. It’s real and fair. You miss Scott and Elliot.” He was collecting himself again, running his hand through his hair and breathing deeply. “They are both huge parts of your life and that’s changing now. I mean even I don’t see Elliot as much anymore. I get it.”

  “But is that fair? Is it really? Elliot’s a grown man now. They have each other.” I flinched at the way that he said it, weighed down with sadness and loneliness. He didn’t look me in the eye and I felt a tug in my chest as I stared at him.