Fragile

by Skyler Snow

  “That doesn’t mean that you can’t be a part of their lives. You’re still Elliot’s dad and Scott’s best friend. Relationships evolve.” I covered his hand with mine and waited till he looked at me, “Relationships evolve, it doesn’t make it a bad thing. You just gotta figure out your new normal. Because one thing I know for sure is Elliot loves you.” I knew I finally had his attention when I found myself staring into dark brown eyes. His lips lifted at one side and he nodded, and I saw it in his eyes, gratitude.

  “Did you study psychology or something in college? You’re really good at this.” He whispered, a smile on his lips. I couldn’t help but laugh. Jack really was someone who didn’t like to talk about his feelings, but I let it slide.

  Because Jack’s shoulders weren’t living at his ears, it finally seemed like a weight had lifted off, so I gave him a break.

  I figured maybe it was time for me to share. “Didn’t go to college! Was too dumb for all of that garbage and I can drink and party without getting into debt for the rest of my life.” I couldn’t help but beam when Jack laughed, the tension lightening between us.

  “Really?” Jack’s brow lifted, “Because I would swear you were some sort of therapist honestly.”

  Ha! If he only knew. “Nah. People just find it easy to talk to me.. I think I have one of those faces that people trust when they really shouldn’t. But no college here, I spent most of that and my youth drawing and making out with boys. Good times,” I sighed wistfully, as if I wasn’t still doing the same thing now. Jack chuckled holding my gaze and saw the question in them. After all, I had just opened the door for one.

  “You’re gay?” He asked it so carefully that I couldn’t help smiling. Anyone who had met me basically knew it, since I sang it to high heavens most days.

  “Bi, but I’m shit with women. Instead of daddy issues, I have mommy issues,” I laughed.

  He looked me over, like there might be some physical indication of my sexuality painted onto my skin and then looked over my face.

  “Really?”

  The way he said it made it feel more like ‘Oh reallllyyy?’ His brown eyes ran up and down my body. My face flared and I suddenly couldn’t help but to squirm in my seat.

  He doesn’t mean it like that. I’m reading into it too much.

  “I know I’m beautiful, but most girls want someone…more mature.” I shrugged, but he didn’t let it drop as much as I tried to push the subject away. It wasn’t like I was ashamed of anything, but it had just been so fucking long since I’d done anything and Jack’s searching gaze was making me flustered and hot. “I might draw porn for a living, but that doesn’t mean I’ve had much luck in the bedroom lately,” I laughed.

  “Wait, is that what you do? Elliot never told me that.” He gave me the most mischievous grin. “That kinda fits your personality.”

  A blush must have crept up onto my face because Jack’s smile grew even wider. I was usually proud of my art, since it was art and damn good art, too but at the moment… After the conversation we had just had and Jack coming out to me as bi and talking about my fucking lewd drawings.

  “Gotta do what you gotta do,” I said quickly trying to brush it off. “What about you, Jack? Have any luck with women?” I asked, trying to shift the conversation away from me again. I caught myself at the last second. “Or men.”

  “At my age? No, not really. I’m past that part in life where people are dating and most folks are either getting a divorce or are sticking with the partner they have. Not the best dating scene.” He said it without much emotion and I smiled. He was embarrassed now. He didn’t blush or fidget the way that Elliot did, but I could still tell. The control in his voice was just too deliberate.

  “Who says you have to stick with your age range? You could always pick up some younger guy and have some fun.” I bit my bottom lip.

  The second I said it, I knew that I had fucked up. Jack and I both stared at each other, my heart still pounding and my face tinted a deep shade of red from my teasing. I was so used to flirting that I’d done it without even thinking. At least that was my story and I was sticking to it.

  The tension was suffocating between the two of us as we both realized that it sounded like I was offering something to him. And from the look in his eyes it looked like something we both would be okay with.

  Maybe on a subconscious level, I was. It was taking advantage of his emotional vulnerability,his loneliness, and his trust in me. But it had just been so fucking long since I had sex that didn’t involve my left hand. Jack was a handsome guy, a little more leaner than Scott but still muscular enough to make me feel taken care of.

  “I’ll keep that in mind.” He said a knowing smirk on his lips, his voice all deep and gravelly.

  Relief washed over me. At least he had the good grace to give me the benefit of the doubt. I looked down at my phone, seeing that nearly two hours had passed. I had a few missed texts from both Elliot and Scott probably wanting to know how things were going. It had worked with only a few complications along the way.

  “We should probably call it a night, I have work in the morning, besides I have a feeling if we stay any longer…” My voice trailed off, “Let’s just say I don’t want to push you into doing anything.” I held his gaze for a moment and my stomach fluttered when he smiled.

  “I have a feeling there would be no pushing involved,” Jack said. His eyes going down to my lips and I couldn’t help it my tongue slipped out to moisten my suddenly dry lips.

  “You’re playing with fire.” Jack’s voice was deeper than I’d ever heard it.

  I leaned back in my seat needing to put some physical distance between us and cleared my throat before I could speak “Maybe it’s a good time to come out to Elliot? Clearly he doesn’t know. Maybe this would help him, get to know you better...” I grinned softly. “Just four not straight men hanging out in one apartment. It sounds like fun. A lot of fun.”

  Jack shook his head, “Please no, that’s my son.”

  “You have a dirty mind, I was thinking cocktails.”

  “I’m sure you were,” Jack snorted, “But sounded more like one of your drawings.”

  I groaned. “You didn’t have to point that out!”

  Jack chuckled. “Oh, I did. Trust me.”

  My cheeks felt like they would burn right off of my face. Jack’s only response was to laugh at me. I wasn’t the type to get embarrassed. What the hell was this?

  I’m going to get you back, Jack. Just you wait.

  “Hey,” Jack interrupted my thoughts. “Do you think you could be there when I tell them? I want to, but I’ve never told anyone before. Not even Scott knows. I’ve never actually dated a guy, just always been open to it.”

  “And you want me there to make it awkward and possibly x-rated?”

  Jack grinned. “If it takes the heat off of me? Sure.” He reached across the table and laid his hand on top of mine. “Seriously, be there with me. You’ve made me feel better than I have in a very long time.”

  I glanced down at our hands swallowing hard before I nodded. After all, I was the one that said he should come out. Of course I would be there for him.

  “You bet your sweet balls I’ll be there.” I immediately groaned as soon as the words left my permanently unfiltered mouth.

  “Ah, how did you know my balls taste sweet?”

  I stared and blinked as Jack stood up and pushed in his chair nonchalantly. He carried the check up to the front to pay for our coffees as I was left dumbfounded.

  Who is this man?

  9

  Jack

  All eyes were on me. Elliot and Scott looked worried, but Tom was just watchful, his eyes encouraging. Scott and Elliot sat on the couch while Tom lounged in a chair, his legs draped over the arm of it. Fuck I felt like I was under a spot light. It was overwhelming, especially since I didn’t have much practice with any of this. So I decided to look at Elliot, the person I was closest to. The person this was mostly meant for.

>   “Elliot, I… I support your relationship with Scott and I’m real proud of you for settling down here and finding your happiness. Even though I still have a few reservations, I promise you I am working through them.”

  “You do?” Elliot interrupted. “You have reservations?”

  I held up a hand. “I do and not because I don’t think Scott is good for you but because I am your father and…” My voice trailed off unsure how to finish that.

  “And this is not what you imagined for him,” Scott supplied.

  My eyes went to one of my oldest friends and I nodded with gratitude.

  “Yes, but that doesn’t mean I don’t think Scott is a great guy okay, and I can see how happy you are.”

  “I am dad,” Elliot's voice was low but firm.

  “I know son and I promise I will get there. Okay? Like I said, I’m working through them, but it’s not your job to worry about that. I actually want to talk to you about something else tonight.”

  “What is it?” Scott leaned forward, his forearms resting on his thighs.

  I cleared my throat. How was I supposed to say this? I was a man in his late forties. Did I really need to come out? And how did I do it without stumbling over my words?

  “Well, I don’t think it’s very fair that I’ve been hiding something from you. I’m… uh…. bisexual.” It was a lame speech compared to what I had been planning. But yeah it was out.

  Scott turned that megawatt smile on me. Tom looked proud, his chest pushed out and a grin on his lip as he jutted a thumbs up in my direction. Elliot on the other hand was completely shocked. His mouth hung open, his eyes wide.

  “You’re BI!” Elliot shouted, jumping to his feet. My heart stopped for a moment, watching him whip around to stare at everyone in the room. “Tom what the fuck did you do to him!”

  We all exploded into laughter. Scott rushed to wrap his arms around Elliot and Tom doubled over with laughter. In the midst of this happy scene I felt a bit awkward. My pulse was still hammering all over my body and adrenaline was making my entire body feel cold.

  And then Elliot launched himself at me, hugging me tight. It knocked the air out of me and it took a moment for me to realize what was going on. I wrapped my arms around him and felt a warm sort of glow start at my chest and spread to the tips of my body.

  He’s definitely gained weight. I thought happily.

  “I’m really proud of you dad. But you suck for not telling me sooner.” He pulled away, his bright blue eyes shiny with tears. Without realizing it, my eyes were stinging with tears too and I quickly wiped them away. “So all four of us are gay?” I grinned. “What are the odds.?”

  “Actually, I’m the only one that’s gay. The rest of you are bisexual.” Scott looked pointedly at all of us, still standing with his arms crossed but his eyes were locked on me. And he looked proud.

  “Well, I’d say we’re all pretty fuckin’ gay.” That was Tom, of course. The seriousness had disappeared mostly, but there was something in the way that he was eying me that suggested that he was proud, too. Someone like him who lived his entire life out and proud. It made me smile.

  “So what next? Do I have to go do drag? Watch Queer Eye?” I asked. All eyes turned back to me but none of the pressure was there now. Everyone was looking at me like I was something to be treasured. Something beautiful. And it felt like coming home.

  “How do you even know what Queer Eye is?” Elliot asked. He sounded both surprised and offended. He glared accusingly at Scott, who shrugged as if it had been Scott’s idea. Which, I definitely got it from him, but still. “And drag?”

  “I was alive during the 80’s. Of course I know what drag is.” I scoffed. Tom strolled over and slung an arm around my waist. It was both unnerving and comforting at the same time.

  “Doesn’t matter. You don’t seem the type to do either. You’re one of those old gays like Scott.” He was teasing again and it made me smile. Out of all of us, Tom was the most comfortable with his sexuality, and his teasing was just one of his odd ways of getting us used to talking about it. At least, that’s what I thought. He could just be teasing for the sake of getting a reaction or being a pain in the ass.

  “I’m not old.” Scott scoffed.

  “He’s not old.” Elliot said at the same time.

  We all cracked up at the way they had synchronized. As much as I was still learning to accept the fact that my son and best friend were in a relationship, I had to admit that was pretty cute.

  “Says the one who remembers the 80s. Anyways, we should drink!” Tom was lounging on a chair, but suddenly jumped back up to his feet with a speed that made me jealous of his youth. He and Elliot were racing to the kitchen, leaving just Scott and I in this vague sort of privacy.

  “I’m proud of you, Jack.” He muttered, offering me a hug and I took him up on it. “And you’re really not that old.”

  “Oh I know. But you are.” He pulled himself away looking disgusted.

  “Dick.”

  “Asshole.”

  With that little moment, it really did feel like Scott had missed me. We both grinned at each other.The world felt...right.

  “So, you really have reservations about Elliot and me?”

  I shrugged. “At the end of the day it doesn’t matter. He loves you and you love him.” I frowned. “I don’t want you to think this has anything to do with you. Scott, you’re one of my closest friends and I don’t think you would ever hurt Elliot.”

  “You know I wouldn’t,” Scott shook his head, suddenly serious once more. “I don’t want you to think that.”

  “I don’t,” I reassured him, patting his chest firmly. “That doesn’t mean that if you hurt my boy I won’t kill you.” I grinned. “Is that what I’m supposed to say? Protective dad mode and all that?”

  Scott burst out laughing. “Jesus, you’re the worst.”

  “And you’re stuck with me now!” I threw an arm over his shoulders. “So, what’s next? When’s the wedding date? And when can I expect grandbabies?”

  “Oh my God,” Scott groaned. “You’re making me nervous now.”

  “Squirm,” I growled against his ear.

  We laughed together and for the first time I felt like things were back to normal. Tom was right. Maybe our relationship might evolve, but I would always have him and Elliot by my side.

  “So,” Scott sat at the table. He glanced into the kitchen, waved me forward and didn’t speak again until I had sat down. “What do you think of Tom?”

  I cleared my throat. Tom. That was an odd subject to bring up all of a sudden. I rubbed the back of my neck.

  “What do you mean? Why? Do I need an opinion of him?”

  Scott grinned. “Is that how it is…Tom huh?”

  I shook my head hard. “No, there’s no Tom anything!” I groaned as soon as I said it, especially at how loud I’d been. Quickly, I lowered my voice. “What are you implying?”

  “Oh, nothing,” Scott grinned. “Don’t worry about it.”

  I was definitely worried about it.

  10

  Tom

  “When the fuck did you learn to make drinks?” It was Jack, of course. Apparently he liked to prod and tease even more than I did and just to make a point. So I tossed the cocktail shaker in the air and caught it in my other hand without missing a beat.

  “Never went to college! I just spent all that free time picking up things that would make my parents disappointed.” I shouted back.

  We all had a few drinks in our system, Elliot mostly. Usually, he hated to drink but that had changed in the last week when I introduced him to drinks that didn’t taste like ass. Apparently he had only drank beer. That’s where the problem was.

  Tonight I’d mixed together 99 watermelon, vodka and pink lemonade. The resulting drink was a light pink color, in tribute to Jack’s coming out and it was gone almost before I was done pouring it. Elliot was the lightweight out of all of us, but my god he fucking loved fruity drinks. Scott was drinking almost
at the same pace, but he at least weighed more than a fucking feather and could handle his alcohol.

  Fruity drinks for fruity guys.

  I was already in a warm, fuzzy haze, smiling to myself. I needed to remember that line for later. And maybe learn how to make virgin drinks because Elliot was starting to sway, even sitting down.

  “So what did you do with all that free time?” Jack’s voice broke through my haze. It took a couple of moments for me to realize that he was talking to me and a few more to actually formulate a response.

  Maybe I should stop drinking.

  “Drawing, mostly. Traveling. Bartending. I worked as a stripper for a couple of months.” I said it in a neutral voice, carefully watching their reactions. I was definitely intoxicated to some level because stripping was something that I tended not to mention, but it was worth the look on their faces. Elliot had a controlled look on his face, but he was holding back laughter. Scott looked interested and Jack seemed intently focused.

  “Certainly a busy life.” Jack muttered, his eyes never leaving me. I tried to push back the urge to shiver and nodded, holding up the cocktail shaker and offering them another round. Elliot was the only one to nod, but Scott held out a hand to stop him.

  “You’ve drunk too much already.” He whispered as Elliot leaned against him, giggling. I looked at Jack, who waved away my offer. It seemed that everyone was on varying levels of fucked-up-ness, Jack being the most sober out of all of us.

  “I think I’ll be heading out soon.” I put down the shaker and looked around at the mess in the kitchen. The different bottles I had pulled from the shelves and the smashed up ice still on the counter, but before I could begin to clean it up Scott’s hand was on my wrist to stop me.

  “We’ll clean it up in the morning. Get yourself home before it gets too dark. You too, Jack.” Scott was trying to control Elliot, but he was leaning too far on his chair now and was basically being carried at this point. Elliot cupped his hand around Scott’s ear, muttering something and letting out little breathy laughs. Scott looked at us pleadingly. Ah, he didn’t want us to see anything that might embarrass the two of them later. My sweet little Elliot was horny.