Riding Hard (Hell Ryders MC Book 4)

by J. L. Sheppard

  She could handle Mitchell, but Dodge stepping in meant maybe Mitchell would think twice about showing up again. She didn’t think she had the energy to deal with him.

  “Don’t mention it.”

  Her eyes watered again, but she held his stare.

  “Did he scare you?”

  “No.”

  “Talk to me.”

  She couldn’t. She did, she’d cry, a lot. She didn’t cry in front of anyone, not if she could help it.

  His face warmed. “Talk to me.”

  She shook her head.

  “You talk to me, I won’t kick his ass.”

  Bargaining for information? He looked serious then proved just how serious the next instant.

  “That’s a promise. I got a kid, so I don’t break promises.”

  She wouldn’t be held responsible for Dodge kicking Mitchell’s butt meaning she didn’t have a choice. Though Mitchell kind of deserved it, Cullen didn’t need his father in jail for assault.

  She took a deep breath, released it, and blurted, “Men always disappoint me.” She shook her head. “Not all men…just the ones I date.”

  His brows shot up. “You’re fuckin’ shitting me.”

  That phrase, he said it often. She never understood why people used it, but Dodge saying it the way he did and how often he did brought a small smile to her lips, one she tried to hide.

  “It always starts good. Then they cheat or lose interest or want space or a slew of other reasons.”

  He clenched his jaw. “That asshole cheated?” His voice thick, rough.

  She shook her head. “Not that I know of, but we dated for three years on and off because he needed space, a lot of it over the course of those three years.”

  He reared back. “He fucked around during those breaks?”

  She raised a brow. “Why do you think he wanted the break in the first place?”

  Dodge looked down at his boots and mumbled, “Fuckin’ idiot.” After a brief moment, he lifted his head. “Why’d you keep taking him back?”

  The million-dollar question. An easy one.

  “Because I loved him.”

  At least, at first she did. After a while, with how often he broke up with her, she started to resent him. Even then, she stuck around. It wasn’t until he ended them five months ago that she realized she didn’t love him, not the way she used to, not the way she should because of everything he’d put her through. When she realized that, she made plans.

  “You loved him?”

  “I’ve given up, remember?” She forced a smile. “Don’t get me wrong, I know there’re good ones. My dad’s a great one. He married my mom forty years ago and has never strayed. Tim’s a good one too. I know just by the way he looks at my sister.”

  His eyes darkened. What she saw in the depths took her breath. Sadness, defeat…like he felt hers.

  “A woman like you can have any man you want. You’re picking the wrong ones.”

  She had picked the wrong men repeatedly, but she had no idea why he’d say a woman like her could have any man she wanted considering he seemed disgusted with her. Maybe he’d just said it to make her feel better. Coming from him, it would’ve helped except she couldn’t forget the way he looked at her, twice now.

  “And that’s why I’ve given up. I’m done dating. I’m done looking. I put my life on hold for him for years. Now, I’m doing what I want, when I want. Maybe I’ll never know what it’s like to fall in love with someone who loves me, but I can still have other things I’ve always wanted. I can have a beautiful home. I can have a baby—”

  Eyes widening, he shook his head. “You’re going to have a baby alone?”

  Yes. Definitely. She wouldn’t miss out on being a mom.

  She nodded. “Women do it all the time. You’re raising Cullen alone. Why can’t I?”

  He released a breath then paused for a moment. “You can… It’s just… You’re young. You got time.”

  “I’ll be thirty soon.”

  “You got time, Lex.”

  She shrugged and looked to his left toward a stack of boxes with clothes she no longer wanted she meant to give to charity. “Not as much as I’d like.”

  She didn’t say that time wouldn’t matter. Men disappointed her, every time.

  “Fuck it,” he mumbled.

  She met his stare. His eyes dark and determined. In an instant, he closed the distance between them. His hand went to her cheek, the other rested on the small of her back pressing her to him. Her chest collided with his, and then, his lips hit hers, and his tongue swept inside her mouth.

  A goner.

  With one kiss, he proved he could kiss amazingly. She would’ve never thought a biker, her rough-around-the-edges, unfriendly neighbor who seemed to hate her guts, could kiss soft and slow and intensely. Proof, there was more to him than that handsome face, more than his vulgarity, much more than his tough guy persona. Maybe she was right to want him.

  When he pulled away after one hell of an amazing kiss, he stayed close, lips grazing hers, body against hers. His hand at her cheek trailed up, glided through her hair then around the back of her neck.

  It took her a while to compose herself, to concentrate hard to remember why she should be upset.

  “What you said…” she whispered. “Before you kissed me, what did you mean?”

  His brows quirked. “You want to talk about that now?”

  She nodded.

  His gaze strayed from her eyes and dropped to her mouth. After a moment, he cocked his head. “What did I say?”

  “You said ‘eff it.’ Did you mean, ‘Screw it. It’s been a long time. She’ll do’ or—’”

  His brows shot up, body moving away slightly, but his arms stayed around her. “Fuck, are you serious?”

  She swallowed. “Yes.”

  He laughed. Again, she had no idea why. She didn’t get his sense of humor at all.

  “Babe, I did not mean that.” Pausing a moment, still chuckling, he looked behind her.

  “I don’t know why this is amusing.”

  Eyes smiling, he met her gaze. “It’s hilarious, Lex.”

  “Maybe if you filled me in, I could make that decision on my own.”

  “I said ‘fuck it.’ Then I kissed you. That doesn’t mean ‘you’ll do.’ It means fuck the fact you hate me, fuck the reasons I shouldn’t make a move, fuck the reasons this would complicate shit for you, for me, and for Cul.”

  She jerked, couldn’t help it. A natural reaction to hearing what he said. “I hate you?”

  “Not your fault, I contributed to that by being a dick.”

  “But I disgust you.”

  Yes, that came out of her mouth.

  Releasing her, his eyes widened, jaw dropped. “Why the fuck would you think that?” He shouted this.

  Had she imagined that look on his face? No. She hadn’t.

  “The way you looked at me the other day…” She bit the side of her lip. “And the first time you saw me.”

  His jaw hardened, eyes narrowed. “You shitting me?” He spoke even louder.

  “No,” she whispered hoping he’d start too. She didn’t want Cullen to hear this conversation.

  He shook his head and cursed under his breath. “Lex, the first time I saw you I thought you were the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen, and I’ve seen a lot of beautiful women.”

  Oh God. The most attractive man on the face of the earth thought she was beautiful?

  Her lips parted. “What?”

  “You heard me.”

  “But the way you looked at me—”

  “Like I thought you were hot and wanted to fuck you? Like I was pissed I wasn’t inside you then and there?”

  Oh God. Still, so vulgar. Face flaming, her body shuddered. Why did it turn her on? Focus. He wanted her?

  “No, it was like you were—”

  Eyes narrowing, he shook his head and snapped, “Don’t say disgusted.”

  “Repulsed.”

  He sn
aked his arm around her waist, grasped the back of her neck, and leaned in to her. “Don’t say that shit either, ever again, Lex.”

  When he spoke again, his voice had lowered an octave. “Don’t you remember me saying a man would have to be blind and stupid not to find you attractive?”

  She did, but he confused her. He looked at her like she disgusted him. Then he insulted her then said something sweet then acted like a jerk. A long shot, but she tried to reason.

  “If you wanted me, why did you insult me?”

  “I know I was a dick, but—”

  “You said my house was masculine and—”

  He released her, putting distance between them, and barked, “You shitting me?”

  She closed her eyes tightly. “Again, no.”

  “I said that as a compliment, Lex. I meant that a man wouldn’t mind living in your house ’cause it’s not covered in flowers and pink and bullshit like that.”

  She shook her head. “It didn’t sound like that. At all. Then when I said I made cookies from scratch, you acted like you found that hard to believe.”

  He drew closer. “It is hard to believe, babe. You’re hot, got good taste, and make cookies like that?”

  She then pointed out, “You were mean.”

  He nodded. “I was a dick a couple of times. I apologized twice. Everything else, I think you misunderstood.”

  Had she?

  “Are you done?”

  Nowhere near. There was more, but he still stood close and that kiss was fresh on her mind, so she nodded.

  He closed the small distance between them, grasped the back of her neck, and slid his hand down her spine. Wrapping the other around her waist, he rested them both on her lower back pressing her body to his. This time, he whispered against her lips, “Can I kiss you again, Lex?”

  “Please.”

  He did, but before then, she caught him smiling.

  Chapter Nine

  Dodge now knew not only was she a beautiful, smart woman who baked the best cookies he’d ever tasted, but she kissed phenomenally.

  That morning kissing her had been the last thing on his mind. He peered out his living room window and spotted that douche there again. He couldn’t have forgotten him if he tried—her ex. Knowing why the guy was there, he carried Cullen across the street without so much as a thought. On her lawn, that ass wipe grabbed her. He set Cullen on his feet, finished closing the distance between them, ripped the douche away from her, and positioned himself between her and her ex. He didn’t know why she let that shit slide, but she had. Then she looked pissed at him instead of at her ex. Now, his lips were pressed to hers, and her tongue was in his mouth, so what had happened was no longer on his mind.

  She moaned soft and sweet, and he felt it in his dick. Hands on her lower back, her stomach firm against his hard shaft, he groaned and instinctively grinded in to her. She became almost desperate then. Her nipples puckered against him through the thin fabric of her shirt. Her arms around his neck, she clutched him, digging her nails into the skin on his back.

  Fuck, she taunted him. She kept doing shit like that, he’d lose his mind and take her right there. He couldn’t do that, not now. He tried to stop, but then, she lapped her tongue against his again and he lost the will.

  He dove into her mouth faster, harder, deeper. His hand moved to cup her cheek. He lowered the other until he rested it on her plump ass.

  She tore her lips from his, arching her back. “Oh…”

  He took the chance trailing his mouth down her neck, licking, sucking her. When her body quaked, he smiled against her skin.

  She released him, planted her hands against his chest, and pushed. “Stop.”

  Shit.

  Rock hard, turned on, but he let her go immediately. Arms falling to his sides, he took a step back. Because it’d been so long for him, his mind went there. Maybe he’d been too rough, or it’d been too much, too soon.

  Before he’d married, he bedded taps, women who parted their legs because he wore a cut and expected nothing in return. Even Lilliam, his wife, had been one. With Lex, he was out of his element. He’d never dated, didn’t even know how, and a woman like Lex dated, expected that. Fact, making out with her hot and heavy in her garage was probably not something she wanted or did. Not that he thought her a virgin, but he hadn’t even taken her out on a date.

  He ran a hand through his hair. “Sorry.”

  Her cheeks flushed, lips swollen, making her even more beautiful. “Don’t be. I…”

  He kept his distance, not trusting himself to keep his hands off her. “What?”

  “It’s just…I—” She shook her head. “—Don’t know your name.”

  Not hesitating a split second, he gave her what she asked. “Dave Roth.”

  A soft smile spread across her lips.

  Fucking gorgeous.

  “Dave Roth, you’re a very good kisser.”

  He grinned. “Alexa Millen, so are you.”

  She looked away. Her brows creased.

  He tried to think of something to say to put her at ease. The harder he tried, the worse it got until he couldn’t think of anything to say to change the subject.

  That uncomfortable silence stretched until he saw her gaze draw behind him.

  “Hey, Cul.”

  He looked over his shoulder. At the entrance to the garage stood his son.

  “Lex. Park.”

  Right, they’d planned on heading to the park. Cul had just invited Lex. Turned out even his kid had more game than he did. Thank God his brothers weren’t around. He’d never hear the end of this one.

  “Good idea, Cul.” He faced her. “You down for a trip to the park with us?”

  Her eyes fell from his. She hesitated a while, making him think she didn’t want to go but didn’t want to say no to Cul.

  “Please.”

  Her head shot up, stare locked on Cul, who’d spoken, only then did she smile and agree. “Cookies, first?”

  He spared a glance at Cul in time to see his boy grin and nod.

  ****

  Her stomach turned. Lex fought to ignore it and folded her hands into each other to stop from fidgeting. No denying she felt out of sorts. Not only because the most attractive man on the face of the earth kissed her twice and those kisses had been astounding. Not just because she was tagging along on a father-son outing, but also because after those kisses, around the time a man would ask her out and make plans, he just stood there and stared. In that silence, she started doubting everything and continued to even as she sat in his SUV on the way to the park.

  At first, she thought he regretted kissing her. The reason was beyond her since he’d told her she was beautiful and that he was attracted to her. Besides, how could he regret a kiss like that? Maybe he didn’t think the kiss had been amazing. Maybe he’d just said she was a good kisser because she’d said he was. She was thinking too much, overanalyzing, yet with him, it was impossible not to. The man was an anomaly; she never knew what to expect.

  Dodge parked in a lot by the playground located on the backside of the elementary school near an open field. The ride over had been filled with just the low hum of the engine of Dodge’s SUV and the radio. Her doubts made her discomfort grow to the point she avoided looking his way. As she pulled open her door and hopped down, she caught sight of Dodge rounding the back. He parted the door for Cullen, who’d already unbuckled himself from his car seat. Cullen hopped off and dashed ahead of them.

  Dodge walked beside her and steered them toward one of the benches. “Thanks for coming along.”

  Sparing a glance his way, still avoiding his gaze, she mumbled, “No problem though I feel like I’m intruding on a father-son outing.”

  “We get father-son time all the time. It’s nice to have a woman around.”

  She looked at him and caught him shaking his head and running his hand through his dark hair. They reached the bench. She took a seat. He sat beside her, close enough his thigh touched hers.

/>   “Not just any woman… You. It’s nice to have you around.”

  What he said and the way his voice sounded made her snap her head to him. Back ramrod straight, jaw tight, his dark eyes boring into her. He cleared his throat then swallowed thickly.

  Oh God. Was he…nervous?

  Releasing a breath, she chuckled.

  He cocked his head and quirked a brow. “That funny to you?”

  She shook her head. “No, I just… Can I be honest?”

  He nodded stiffly. “Would appreciate if you were.”

  “We kissed, and then, you didn’t say anything. I thought…” She bit her tongue so she wouldn’t say it. It’d make her sound insecure.

  “You thought…”

  Darn it. She had to admit it now, didn’t she? Her and her big mouth.

  She pressed her lips together then blurted, “I thought maybe you were re-thinking having kissed me.”

  He smiled. “Since you’re being honest, I’ll be honest. You’ll figure it out on your own either way, and I think it’ll save us some more misunderstandings.”

  His gaze trailed away from her for a moment, checking on Cullen, whom she spotted trying to swing with his feet planted on the seat.

  He met her stare again. “I’m no Casanova. I’m the complete opposite. It sucks to have to admit especially to a woman I want to get to know, but it’s true.”

  Her brows furrowed. “You mean you’re not good with women…like it’s hard for you to pick one up?”

  He nodded.

  The most attractive man couldn’t pick up a woman? Not likely.

  “That’s how I got my name, Dodge, ’cause women see me coming and they dodge for cover.”

  Um. Wow. She giggled.

  He looked down at his boots when his cheeks reddened.

  She shouldn’t have laughed! It was brave to admit something that obviously embarrassed him.

  She immediately slapped her hand over her mouth. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to laugh. It’s just…”

  His gaze shot to her.

  “It’s hard to believe. I mean you’re…”

  He grinned. “Go on. I’m what?”

  “Handsome.”

  Smirking, he cocked a brow. “You think?”

  “Everyone thinks.”