Not Until Forever (Hope Springs Book 1)

by Valerie M. Bodden

  She tried to wind her way through the clusters of people without drawing attention to herself.

  But just before she reached the entrance to the sanctuary, she lifted her eyes, and they fell on Spencer. She stopped abruptly, barely noticing when someone ran into her from behind.

  “Sorry,” she mumbled. But her eyes were locked on Spencer’s, and she couldn’t tear them away, no matter how much she wanted to.

  She’d spent most of the day yesterday convincing herself that the things she’d felt the other night at his house were only nostalgia—a reminder of the time before there were careers and apartments and dying grandmothers to worry about.

  But with his eyes on her, the strength of her arguments crumbled at her feet.

  Spencer’s expression remained neutral, but he waved her over.

  It was only then that she noticed the others standing around him. A couple who looked vaguely familiar and two women, one of whom Sophie recognized immediately, even from the back. Those dark curls could only belong to her former best friend.

  Her heart jumped as Vi spotted her, gave her a gigantic smile, and broke away from the group to charge across the lobby. She threw her arms around Sophie and engulfed her in a hug that left Sophie gasping for air.

  Sophie clung to her former best friend, even as she scrunched her eyes against the wave of emotion.

  “Spencer said you were back. It’s so good to see you.” Vi was still squeezing her tight.

  “You, too.” Sophie’s voice was too full. She didn’t deserve a welcome like this. Not after she’d abandoned the one person she’d promised to be there for forever.

  She pulled back, gripping her friend’s shoulders. “I’m so sorry about Cade.”

  Vi nodded and blinked a few times. Her eyes lacked the bright spark and easy smile that had led her to be voted “friendliest senior” in high school. “Thanks, I—”

  But the rest of the group reached them. Vi gestured to the couple that Sophie thought she knew but couldn’t place. “Soph, do you remember Ethan and Ariana? They graduated a year ahead of us.” The couple unwound their arms from around each other and each held out a hand to Sophie. Now that Vi said their names, she recognized them. Ethan had always been a star athlete, but his whole family had been killed in an accident. Sophie always wondered how someone recovered from something like that. It was hard enough to lose one person.

  “And this is Emma.” Violet gestured to a tall, pretty blond standing close to Spencer.

  Very close.

  The woman scrutinized her with a hard look but held out a hand.

  Sophie forced her hand forward even as her shoulders tensed. Her eyes shot to the woman’s left hand. Ring free.

  Not that it matters.

  “And, of course, you know Spencer.” What was that look Vi gave her? Could she read the swirl of Sophie’s thoughts at seeing her ex with another woman?

  Spencer offered a tight smile.

  “I didn’t know you came to church here.” Sophie directed her words to Spencer. “I thought you always went over in Silver Bay.” It’d been the only reason she’d even considered coming here this morning.

  “We started coming here to be with Vi after Cade’s death.” The blond woman—Emma—answered for him.

  Sophie nodded stiffly.

  Of course they had. They’d been here for Vi when she hadn’t.

  Ethan glanced at his watch, then fiddled with a pager on his hip. “We should probably go grab a seat.”

  Sophie scanned the nearly empty lobby. Her parents had probably long since taken their customary spot in the second row from the front.

  Vi nudged her. “Sit with us?”

  Sitting with Spencer and his new girlfriend for an hour sounded like absolutely the last thing Sophie wanted to do. But the church was full, and she didn’t exactly feel like parading to the front to join her parents.

  She followed the group as they filed into a half-full row near the back. Her whole body tensed as she realized she’d be sandwiched right between Vi and Spencer. She squeezed as close to Vi as she could in the cramped space and bowed her head, trying to recall the words of the prayers Nana had taught her as a little girl, but her mind drew a blank.

  Panic welled low in her stomach. Had it really been that long since she’d prayed? What right did she even have to be here?

  Her legs itched with the need to get away. But she’d have to climb over Spencer and Emma to escape, and she wasn’t about to attempt that. She tried to direct her attention to Pastor Zelner. But she was too aware of every shift in Spencer’s position, every accidental brush of his arm against hers. His familiar scent of spicy woodland and warm cinnamon wafted over her.

  By the time church was over, Sophie was ready to bolt.

  “It was so nice to see you again.” She leaned over to hug Vi, then pushed to her feet.

  “Wait. Where do you think you’re going?” Vi latched onto her arm, as if afraid she’d sneak away. “We always grab some lunch after church. You have to come.”

  Sophie scanned the church, searching for her parents. They were standing on opposite sides of the sanctuary, each deep in conversation. Hopefully they wouldn’t be long.

  “Sorry, Vi. I’d love to, but I caught a ride with my parents, so . . .”

  Vi’s face fell. “I can give you a ride to the restaurant, but I have to rush off afterward.”

  “I’ll give you a ride home.” Spencer’s voice was low but definitely directed at her.

  Sophie’s gaze darted to Emma, whose jaw had hardened. “Oh, you don’t have to—”

  “That settles it then.” Vi tightened her grip on Sophie’s arm and steered her toward the lobby. “You’re coming with us.”

  Sophie opened her mouth to protest, but the pleading look in Vi’s eyes stopped her. After five years of not being there for her friend, she owed her at least a lunch. “Where to?”

  Chapter 9

  “Don’t even say it.” Spencer held up a hand as he jumped out of his truck and met Emma and the others outside the Hidden Cafe to wait for Violet and Sophie.

  “Say what?” Emma’s voice was all innocence, but Spencer knew her better than that.

  “You were about to lecture me about not falling for Sophie again. But trust me. I’ve got that covered.”

  “Yeah, volunteering to drive her home is a good way to keep yourself from getting too close again. I hope you realize I’ll be coming with you.” She knotted her blond hair—so similar to Sophie’s—into a bun at the nape of her neck.

  Spencer rolled his eyes. “That won’t be necessary.”

  He’d only known Emma a few years, but sometimes she acted more like a mother than a friend. Then again, he’d been a mess when they’d met, and she’d been the only one he could confide in about how broken Sophie’s rejection had left him. The one who had helped him pick up the pieces and move on with his life. He was grateful that she didn’t want him to go through that again.

  But he didn’t need her protection. “For your information, I offered to drive her for Violet’s sake.” It wasn’t entirely a lie. He knew how much seeing Sophie again meant to Violet. Emma didn’t need to know how much it meant to him, too.

  He smoothed a hand over his hair as Violet’s car pulled into the parking lot, Sophie gazing out the passenger window.

  Emma snorted. “Look at you, preening for her.”

  “I’m not preening.” But he dropped his hand to his side.

  Emma gestured to Ethan and Ariana, who’d been watching them with matching amused grins. “Do you see this?”

  Ethan gave Spencer a helpless shrug, and Ariana sent him a sympathetic look.

  “I think it’s sweet.” Ariana smoothed Ethan’s hair. “Some people could take a lesson from you.”

  “You know you like my hair messy.” Ethan grinned at her and re-mussed his hair.

  Emma huffed out a breath. “You two lovebirds are no help. It’s not sweet. We’re talking about the woman who ripped his heart out of h
is chest, ran it through a wood chipper, and then left him to pick up the pieces and stuff them back in.”

  “Hey.” Spencer held up a hand to stop her, but she wasn’t far from the truth. In fact, he may have once used those words to describe how he felt when Sophie walked away.

  “And—” Emma pointed a finger at his chest. “Don’t think I didn’t notice the way you two were mooning over each other in church.”

  Spencer scoffed. “Now I know you’re crazy.” He’d used every ounce of his willpower to avoid looking at Sophie during church. And when he’d failed and sneaked a glance, her eyes were nowhere near him.

  “I’m serious, Spencer.” Emma’s brow puckered, and she rested a hand on his arm. “You need to be careful.”

  He relented at Emma’s worry.

  Maybe she was right.

  Maybe he was being too unguarded with his heart.

  Sophie opened her car door, and his pulse kicked into overdrive. Apparently, he was about to find out.

  Sophie couldn’t believe she’d made it through the meal. Thankfully, Vi had kept her occupied, asking about her life in Chicago and telling her about the antique store. Talking about everything except Spencer and his new girlfriend.

  Whose chair was practically on top of Spencer’s. And who kept finding excuses to touch him.

  Sophie got the message already.

  Spencer was taken.

  It’d be nice if Emma didn’t feel the need to rub it in her face every second.

  But that wasn’t fair. Of course Emma wanted to touch him. She was in love with him. And she had every right to be.

  Sophie had given up her claim to Spencer years ago.

  And it had been the right decision.

  She knew it had.

  She had no doubts.

  Or at least none she was willing to examine closely.

  She had never wanted to get married and have children. Never fantasized about walking down the aisle or cuddling a baby. It just wasn’t her.

  The stab she felt every time Emma covered Spencer’s hand with her own was only because the last few days had been so difficult.

  Nothing else.

  She tore her eyes off the spot where Emma’s shoulder pressed against Spencer’s and focused her attention on Vi. “So, who helps you with the store now—” She broke off abruptly. How could she ever get used to saying that Cade was dead?

  “It’s just me now.” Vi wiped her mouth and pushed her chair back. Apparently not a topic she wanted to talk about.

  Sophie and the others pushed their chairs back as well. Sophie swept the check off the table. “This one’s on me.” The others sent up a stream of protests, and Spencer shot her a hard look. He’d always accused her of trying to buy people’s approval.

  But that wasn’t what this was about. And, anyway, he didn’t have a say in what she did anymore.

  The others filed out the door as she approached the counter to pay. She appreciated the moment to herself.

  But the cashier was too efficient, and after a minute she was outside with everyone else.

  She said her goodbyes to the others, promising to see them again before she returned to Chicago. Before she was ready, Vi, Ariana, and Ethan were gone, and she was left standing with Spencer and Emma. She looked back and forth between them, unsure if it would be more awkward if Emma did or didn’t come with them.

  “I’ll see you later,” Spencer told Emma.

  She pursed her lips but nodded. “Call me.” She lifted onto her toes to kiss his cheek.

  Sophie looked away.

  “Ready?” Spencer’s voice sounded strained.

  She bobbed her head and followed him. If her parents didn’t live five miles out of town and she weren’t wearing heels, she’d walk. Actually, walking might be preferable anyway.

  But she let Spencer lead her to his black truck. He opened the door for her and held out a hand to help her up.

  She wasn’t prepared for the jolt that surged up her arm as his hand closed around hers.

  She trained her focus on getting into the vehicle, looking at anything but him.

  Spencer closed her door, and she tried to slow her revving heart as she fastened her seat belt. Her thoughts skipped over all the things she could say when he got in, but nothing seemed right.

  Spencer opened his door and hopped onto his seat in one easy movement.

  “Emma seems nice,” Sophie blurted. She clamped her mouth shut the moment the words were out. Did she really want to go there?

  “Yeah. She is.” Spencer’s smile crinkled his eyes. Was that the same smile he used to wear when he talked about her?

  She swallowed and forced herself to go on. “How long have you two known each other?”

  Spencer frowned in thought. “Four years? Maybe five? She bought the horse farm down the road from Hidden Blossom shortly after I moved back. I thought she was crazy at the time. That place was falling apart. But she’s really made something of it.”

  Sophie turned toward the window. A smear of trees blurred past. Emma was a farmer. A much better fit for him than a Chicago developer.

  “How’s your grandma doing?” Spencer’s question brought her back to what really mattered. She shouldn’t be worrying about her own lonely life when Nana was dying.

  A heavy sigh escaped her. “Not well. She’s only been awake for a few minutes at a time. Same old Nana when she is though.” She gave a short laugh. “Even managed to talk me into going to church.”

  Spencer’s gaze cut to her. “I’m glad you came.”

  Sophie shrugged. “I’m not sure it did any good. I haven’t been to church in—” But she couldn’t even remember the last time. “Years. God has no reason to listen to me.”

  She ran a knuckle across the cool window, trying not to notice Spencer studying her.

  “You know it doesn’t work that way, Soph. You don’t have to do something for God so he’ll listen to you. He loves you.”

  She shrugged again. If he wanted to believe that, that was fine. But in her experience, nothing ever came without conditions.

  Not happiness. Not forgiveness. And definitely not love.

  Outside, the trees along the road grew denser as they reached her parents’ driveway. Only a few more yards and she’d be free to make her escape.

  “How’s your dad?”

  His forehead creased, the way it always had when he was worried. “He’s doing better. But it’s hard to see him like this.” His jaw jumped. “He’s been larger than life to me forever. And now . . .”

  He seemed lost in thought, and Sophie waited quietly in case he wanted to continue.

  Spencer cleared his throat. “He says thanks for the flowers, by the way.”

  Sophie’s hands stilled. “It’s no big deal. I was cutting some for Nana anyway, and I just thought—” What had she thought? It had been a stupid, impetuous move. One Spencer’s girlfriend probably didn’t appreciate.

  “It was a big deal, Soph. Why didn’t you tell me you’d been to see him?” Spencer’s voice held a thread of gratitude and something else she couldn’t place.

  She shrugged. It’d been on the tip of her tongue a few times the other night, but she hadn’t wanted to overstep her bounds.

  “Anyway, he hasn’t stopped talking about it.” Spencer’s lips lifted, and she let herself smile back.

  “It was nice to meet him. He reminded me of you.”

  Spencer’s eyes darted to her and then away, and a hint of pink tinged his cheeks. “Well, it meant a lot to him.” He cleared his throat again. “And to—”

  But he broke off as they rounded the last curve of the driveway. She followed his gaze to the black BMW parked near the house, a man in a sharp suit leaning against the trunk, facing the lake.

  Sophie’s stomach dropped. She knew only one person who dressed like that on weekends.

  “You know him?” Spencer’s voice had taken on a funny, raspy quality.

  Sophie nodded dumbly, trying to process. “He’s my .
. .” But her brain had closed up shop. What did she call Chase? And what was he doing here?

  “Ah.” The single syllable said everything Spencer was thinking. She opened her mouth to correct him, but what difference did it make? He was with Emma anyway, so he couldn’t care less if she was with someone else.

  “Thanks for the ride.” She fumbled for the door handle, her eyes fixed on Chase, who marched toward the truck with his long, confident strides and Armani suit that was so out of place here.

  “You’re welcome.” Spencer hit the unlock button, and she shoved out the door and slammed it behind her before Chase reached them. There was no need for these two to meet.

  The moment she took a step away from the truck, the tires crunched over the blacktop.

  “Surprise!” Chase dropped a quick kiss on her lips. She took a step back and glanced over her shoulder, but Spencer’s truck was already retreating down the driveway.

  She tried to infuse something close to enthusiasm into her voice. “Chase! What are you doing here?”

  Chapter 10

  Spencer’s knuckles stood out white against the steering wheel.

  He had only himself to blame for letting his heart go where it wasn’t supposed to go. Served him right for offering to drive Sophie home. For admiring the way her hair fell in a curtain around her face when she ducked her head in embarrassment. For basking in every little smile she sent his way. For thinking that she’d felt the same familiar spark he had the other night.

  He unclenched one fist, lifted it from the wheel, then slammed it back into place. Emma had been right. When it came to Sophie, he had no common sense.

  Case in point: He’d forbidden himself from looking in the rearview mirror as he’d left Sophie’s parents’ house. But his resolve had lasted all of three seconds. He’d glanced into the mirror just in time to see that man—that good-looking, well-dressed, BMW-driving man—kiss her.