Paradox (Pearson Sisters Series Book 1)

by C. A. Harms

  It’s still crazy how a kiss can make me feel so grounded, but it does. Janelle has quickly become my calm, the one I need in order to remain settled.

  “Not nearly as much as I missed you,” she tries to argue, only I stop her by pressing my lips to hers once more. When she smiles wide, I know she has figured out my motive, and I too smile.

  Pulling back, she takes my hand in hers and begins to walk backwards toward the lit house behind her. With each step, I can feel my anxiety returning.

  “I was starting to get worried that you might not show up.” She doesn’t need to know that I stopped four times on the way over here, considering turning around or lying about a flat. I even considered taking an extra shift at Mulligans to avoid tonight. But one look at her and I remember instantly why I found myself here even after all the fear.

  “I wouldn’t be anywhere else.” I can tell she doesn’t quite believe my words, but instead of calling me out on it, she turns around and walks up the steps to the front door.

  “Don’t be nervous. You’ve already met the crazy one in the family.” I arch my brow when she peeks back at me. “Janie.” I chuckle, remembering all the wildness that comes along with her younger sister. “My parents are a breeze compared to her.”

  Before I have the chance to ask any questions or even prepare for the encounter, the door is being pushed open and we are stepping inside.

  “The devil is here.”

  “Knock it off, Janie.” If it isn’t the crazy herself.

  I shake my head as I allow all the things I could say back to her roll around in my head when I hear a throat clear.

  Surprise, complete and utter shock, that is what hits me. “Dr. Carlton?”

  “Hello, son.”

  “Wait.” I look between Janelle and back to the man who has been treating my mother for years. “I’m confused.”

  “Carl Pearson,” he clarifies. “When I first enrolled in med school, my older brother also was enrolled. He is two years older than me, and I instantly grew tired of being referred to as the younger Pearson boy. I felt it diminished my worth in the eyes of some. So over time, I starting referring to myself as Dr. Carlton, and after years of pushing the point, it finally stuck. It’s what I used from that point on, a way to become my own person without lingering in the shadows of the infamous Walter Pearson, plastic surgeon to the stars.”

  I only nod, because holy hell, I was still floored. This man knew me, he knew my mother, he knew all about the asshole who ran out on us both. I’ve shared my worries and my frustrations with this man. I have cried to this man, begged him to do something to help my mother, anything. He has seen me at my lowest, and now here I am standing in his foyer, dating his daughter.

  Okay, fine, so it is so much more than just dating, but he doesn’t need to know that. I already felt like he could see right through me. Like somehow he already knew all the freaky things I’ve done to his little girl. Fuck, I feel my pulse quicken.

  “You’re gonna make him puke, Dad.” Janie, always with the fucking running at the mouth shit. Now is not the time. “Do you need the bathroom? Mom will kill you if you upchuck on her rug.”

  “Enough, Janie.” Janelle places her hand on my chest and steps in front of me, blocking the view of her father. “Are you okay?”

  I nod because I don’t know yet if I can speak clearly. I know I am ruining this, and the urge to run hits me hard.

  “Shane and I have met, sweetheart,” he father interjects, and Janelle looks between the two of us. A look of uncertainty flashes in her eyes.

  “Why didn’t you say something?” The question is directed toward her father, but her eyes lock with my own.

  “You introduced him as Shane,” Dr. Carlton adds, and with each passing second I grow even more nervous. “Until now, I had no idea of his last name.”

  It took a few minutes of silence before it all played out in Janelle’s head, and I hate seeing the instant look of pity that fills her gaze. “Your mother is one of his patients?”

  I don’t answer, but her father does.

  “I’ve been treating Nora for years.” He is always so meticulous with her, so kind, caring, and even gentle. He treats my mother as if she is made of glass, stopping in to see her often when I know he could just call to check on her. The man is a good one. Which makes me wonder why standing here before him makes me suddenly feel so fucking small.

  “Hello.” A woman steps into the foyer wearing a bright smile, interrupting the awkward silence. “You must be the Shane I have heard so much about from my Janelle.”

  My Janelle. What the fuck is wrong with me? This is her mother, not some guy staking a claim.

  “Nice to meet you, ma’am.” I hold out my hand and force a smile.

  “It is so nice to finally meet you.” Her mother steps up and without warning grabs me and pulls me in for a welcoming hug. “Any man that makes one of my girls smile the way you make our Janelle smile is all right by me.”

  She releases me and steps back once again. Looking around at the group standing in the entryway, she wrinkles her brows in confusion. “Why are you all hiding out in the foyer? Where are your manners? Invite the young man in.”

  She takes my hand in hers and begins leading me through the dining area and into the kitchen.

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Janelle

  I wait for my mother to lead Shane away before I turn around to face my father. “Did something happen between the two of you that I need to know about?”

  “Nothing,” he assures me, but I still feel completely unsettled over the last few minutes. “I just think it was a shock seeing me is all.”

  I trust my father. I know he wouldn’t lie to one of his girls. We have always been protected by him at all costs. His girls are all daddy’s girls.

  “I do know from my time around him that he is a good man.” This eases my mind. “I’ve watched him give up a lot over the years for his mother. I’ve watched him lose sleep over the smallest setback, and that is all I need to know to decide that he’s welcome here. I approve, so stop worrying, sweetheart. We just need to do what we have to in order to let him know that, too.”

  With his arm draped over my shoulders, he leads me to the kitchen, where my mother and sisters have settled with Shane. Each one of them glances in our direction when my father and I enter.

  I can see the tension in Shane’s shoulders, and I hate it.

  “Would you like a beer?” We all look in the direction of my father as he opens the fridge and grabs two bottles.

  “Sure, Dad.” Janie grabs for it, and he holds it up higher. My father is a tall man, over six feet; the three of us girls got my mother’s height.

  “I was talking to Shane.” He holds it out, and Shane seems a little surprised, but he takes the bottle from my dad.

  “Thank you, sir.” He gives a stiff nod of his head. All I want to do in that moment is wrap my arms around him and hug him close. Actually, I want to lead him back out to the foyer, straight outside to his truck, and tell him I will follow him home. I adore this man, and his worries make me worry. I dislike this version of him, the one that is so unsure.

  “Not sir.” My father walks around the island in the center of the kitchen. Placing his hand on Shane’s shoulder, he gives it a gentle squeeze. “We aren’t formal here. You call me Carl and my wife Sharon. However, we do call that one right there Crazy.” He points his bottle toward Janie, and we all laugh. “She’s wild, mouthy, and embarrassing, but I am sure you’ve managed to figure that out by now.”

  “Nice, Dad.” Janie rolls her eyes. “Who do you think I get my loud mouth from?”

  “Your mother.” Shrugging, he grunts when my mother’s hand slaps his stomach. “What?”

  “Keep it up and you’ll be making your own meals from now on.”

  After my mother turns her back, Janie snickers and leans in closer to avoid my mother from hearing what she adds. “Dad’s in the doghouse. Looks like it’s back to dirty maga
zines in the master bath for you.”

  “Do you have no filter?” Jackie covers Whitney’s ears. “Why on earth would you ever talk to your own father that way?”

  “Oh please, you prude, he is a man. It’s a natural thing. Just because they’re our parents doesn’t mean that they don’t—”

  “Stop right there.” Jackie holds out her hand to our younger sister. “I swear to it, if you finish that sentence, I will drown you in the pool and throw a party to celebrate your bloated corpse.”

  “And I’m the one with no filter.”

  Shane chuckles, and I watch him, enjoying the smile on his face. He appears to be calming, and that alone makes me feel lighter. To crave someone else’s happiness more than my own is crazy, I know this, but I do. When I look at him, whenever I find him sitting quietly staring off at nothing in particular, the only thing that crosses my mind is how I can ease his worries or how or what it will take to make him smile. His smiles are like a drug, one that makes me feel loopy and crazed with pure joy.

  “Want a tour?” Honestly, I only want to get him alone to ensure he is good, but using the excuse of a tour seems fitting. He too looks relieved when he nods, and I link my fingers through his free hand and begin pulling him toward the back sliding doors.

  “Remember that you are at your parents’ house, and some activities are very inappropriate under their roof.” Damn it, Janie. “Or outside, too. What would their neighbors think?”

  My father hides his smiles with his beer, Jackie smacks the back of Janie’s head, and my mother pretends to be oblivious to her youngest daughter’s lack of manners.

  As we step outside, I pull the door shut quickly behind us and take in a deep breath.

  “That girl is insane.” I hear the humor in his words and instantly smile in reaction.

  Leading him out a little further away from the door and nosy prying eyes, I step in close and look up at him. “I had no idea that my father is your mother’s doctor. I’m so sorry if you felt blindsided.”

  “How would you have known?” Shane cups the side of my face and uses his thumb to tilt my head back. “It’s okay,” he assures me with a soothing tone. “I was surprised and now it’s good.” Pressing his mouth to mine, I taste the beer on his lips.

  “Everything is good, babe,” another gentle kiss, “I promise. Now how about this tour you offered?”

  ***

  “Do you want another helping?” I watch as my mother holds up the plate of her signature meatloaf and offers it to Shane.

  “Oh no, ma’am, I’m full.”

  “Sharon,” she corrects him.

  “Sorry, Sharon, it was delicious, really, but I don’t think I can fit another bite.” Shane places his hand against his stomach, and I smile. Flat, rock hard, washboard stomach, one of my favorite places to kiss. Especially along the perfect V at his waist, the man is yummy.

  “Close your mouth. You’re drooling.” I ignore Janie as I avert my eyes back to my own plate. She, of course, snickers, and I kick her under the table. “Bitch,” she whispers, and I grip my fork, turning the prongs in her direction like I am about to attack. “You are so wound up. Is that man not giving it to you good enough?”

  “Will you please stop being such a guy?” I swear she has nuts, big, hairy, ugly nuts. The girl is a menace.

  “So Shane…” My father clears his throat, and I see the look he gives Jackie, which I will admit frightens me. I may have forgotten to mention to Shane that my father can give Janie a run for her money in the inappropriate category whenever he feels ornery. This may in fact be one of those times. My silent warning means nothing to him as he leans back in his chair and stretches out his legs. “Let’s say you and Janelle get married.” I swallow hard, and I know without a doubt that my eyes go wide as I look at my father then Shane. He seems unfazed as he waits for my father to continue, and he does. “You have a kid or two, and you need to look into a babysitter for them.”

  Janie is all smiles, my mother is moving around the table gathering up the leftovers and carrying them to the kitchen like nothing is even happening, and Jackie looks just as invested as Shane in the conversation. “What, or should I say who, would you consider an ideal babysitter for my future grandchild?”

  “Dad…” I force a smile, and Shane places his arm over the back of my chair and mimics my father as he stretches out his own legs.

  And I feel like I can barely breathe.

  I’m surprised by his relaxed state. “I prefer our children to be cared for by their immediate family…aunts, grandparents, if it can’t be us.” Our children? How did the conversation venture in this direction? “But if that isn’t a possibility, then I would have to say that a babysitter with years and years of experience would be better suited for my vision of the perfect caretaker. A sweet, grandmotherly figure, like Mrs. Doubtfire.”

  My father chuckles, and Janie arches her brow.

  “Mrs. Doubtfire, really?” Jackie looks unconvinced. “You are really trying your best to impress the parentals, aren’t you?”

  I feel the skim of Shane’s fingertips over my shoulder. “Not all men are smart enough to know that they have something great until it’s too late.”

  And with that added entry, the ladies in the room go silent, including my mother, who is hovering in the doorway wearing an adoring smile on her face as she stares at Shane.

  “Let’s go have us a beer on the back patio, son.” The gesture not only warms my heart, but by the look on Shane’s face, it warms his, too. Shane stands and pushes in his chair. Just before turning to walk away, he leans over and presses a swift kiss to the top of my head, and I swear my heart skips a beat.

  Had I already not accepted that I was falling in love with this man, that single moment would have solidified the fact. Shane Anderson is most definitely not the man I originally thought him to be. He is fierce, strong, and confident, but he is kind, sweet, and dedicated, too.

  And I am so undeniably in love with him, the good and the bad. I want it all.

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Shane

  Carrying the cashier’s check in hand, I walk across the parking lot of Evergreen Estates. Every ninety days I bring a check that will cover the expenses for my mother. This time is a little less stressful considering I now have a little assistance, thanks to Martha. It also helps that my income is a little higher after my recent raise.

  I smile at the familiar faces as I walk inside and take a right toward Stanford’s office. He is the man in charge, the one who keeps the place top notch. He’s like a warden, and I mean that in the best possible way. I appreciate his efforts and his need for everything to be precise and tidy. He is just one more reason why I feel like this place is the best for my mother.

  Pausing outside of his door, I lift my hand and give it a few taps.

  “Come in,” his voice filters out through the partially opened door. Pushing forward, I step inside, and he looks up, offering a nod. “Good afternoon, Shane. How’s that pretty lady of yours?”

  Janelle has become well known around Evergreen. She comes in once a week and does my mother’s hair then spends the rest of the day listening to music or watching the shows I’ve told her are my mother’s favorite. The woman is a godsend, an angel, and everyone sees it.

  “She’s great.” She’s more than great. I’ve never felt the kind of love I feel when it comes to Janelle. So selfless, perfect, the woman owns me, though I haven’t actually admitted that to her quite yet.

  “Her mother brought in pastries to the staff earlier this week.” I am in the process of having a seat opposite him when I pause at the mention of Janelle’s mother.

  “Sharon was here?”

  “Yes.” With a little nod of his head, he weighs out my reaction. “Sweet woman, said that she’s heard nothing but great things about our staff and thought we deserved to be spoiled. The treats were homemade, too.”

  Sounds like Janelle’s mom. Her entire family, actually. I’m still a little take
n aback by how easily they’ve all accepted me into their world. You never would guess that I’ve only known them for a short time; it’s almost like they’ve known me forever.

  It feels nice to belong to a family again.

  “So I’ve brought the payment in.” I lay the cashier’s check on the desk between us. “Sorry it’s a day late. I couldn’t get to the bank yesterday because I got stuck at work later than expected.”

  Stanford looks down at the check but doesn’t attempt to reach for it.

  “Is something wrong?” This is the point where he tells me that the housing has gone up. My stomach feels tight as I prepare myself for the setback.

  “No, nothing is wrong.” Why don’t I believe him? “It’s just that the payment has already been made.”

  “Excuse me?”

  I remain seated, watching him move around behind the desk. Reaching into the drawer, he retrieves a logbook and begins to thumb through it. “We got a cashier’s check in the mail two days ago.” Looking at the check that still lays before us, I know he has to be mistaken. “I’d assumed that you sent it due to your schedule.”

  “No.” Sitting back, I run my hand over the stubble along my jaw and fight the irritation that is boiling inside of me. There is only one explanation, only one or two people, I should say, behind this.

  “Was there a return address on the envelope?”

  “To be honest, Shane, I didn’t pay it any mind. Once I saw the memo was your mother’s name, I just logged the payment and marked her paid for the next six months.”

  “Six months.” This just keeps getting better and better. I don’t handle pity well. That’s what this is, pity, and I don’t fucking want it.

  “Yes, your mother’s housing is paid in full.” He looks back down at the book before him. “Actually, it was a little over, but I’ve applied it toward the following month. You have a forty dollar credit.” Concentrating on my breathing, I do my best not to make an ass of myself.