Paradox (Pearson Sisters Series Book 1)

by C. A. Harms

  “I promise you I had no idea,” she sniffles. “We never know until we get to the location, and still I had no idea until I walked into the room.”

  One last step brought me directly to her side, where my chest brushes against her shoulder. Avoiding my gaze, she stares at her hand that rests on her door handle.

  “I should have left when I saw the pictures, or requested someone else, but—”

  “But what?” I lift my hand and touch a lock of hair that covers her cheek, obstructing my view of her face. Twisting it around my finger, she looks up, and the redness in her eyes is hard to look at. “Why did you stay?”

  “I felt connected to her somehow.” Janelle takes in a slow shuddering breath. “I walked into her room and immediately felt as though I already knew her even though I had no idea she even existed. I know it sounds crazy, but—”

  “I’m glad you stayed.” She seems surprised by my words.

  Something shifts inside me, something I realize I can no longer stop. Cupping the side of her face, I use my thumb to tilt her head back and turn her body to face mine with my other hand. She comes with ease, looking up into my eyes. Without a second to talk myself out of it, I move in and press my lips to hers.

  Seeing Janelle with my mother, seeing her care for her was altering. Listening to her sing to the woman who until recently was the only love of my life, it is shattering.

  Janelle fists the front of my shirt with both of her hands, and I step forward, pressing her to the side of her Jeep.

  I hear someone at our side, a gasp, then a chuckle, but I can’t pull back, not yet. I am drowning in Janelle, the emotions she has inflicted, and I can’t let go.

  This is the moment that changes everything; I can feel the shift. I know that after today nothing will remain as it was, and for a second, I want to feel only her.

  I need her.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Janelle

  I am breathless when Shane finally breaks our kiss. A kiss I wasn’t expecting.

  With his forehead pressing to mine, we both simply take in one breath after another.

  Someone clears their throat, and I turn toward the noise to find we are not alone. We actually have quite an audience, and I feel my cheeks heat with embarrassment.

  “This must be the woman you told me about?” An older woman stands with her arms crossed as she looks between Shane and me.

  “This is Janelle.” Shane curls his arm around me a little tighter. “And yes, she is the one I mentioned.”

  I am surprised that he’s talked of me to anyone.

  A younger woman stands a few feet back, and if I am not mistaken, she looks disappointed.

  “It is nice to finally meet you.” I bring my attention back to the sweet woman who has now stepped in even closer. “I’m Martha.”

  She takes my hand in hers and smiles up at Shane. Something passes between them, and he grins before shaking his head. “Can you all give us a minute, please?”

  I am thankful he has asked for privacy. With all eyes on us, I felt so exposed, and I know I look like a mess.

  One by one, they each walk away, Slate smirking and then offering a wink before disappearing around the back of the car next to my own. The last to leave is the young girl that can’t seem to remove her eyes from Shane.

  Looking up, I watch him offer her a kind smile, but within that smile is a trace of discomfort that only manages to pique my interest even more. “Everything is okay, Sandy. We just need a minute.” He waits and watches the girl until she is clear from our sight before turning back to me.

  “Old girlfriend?” The instant the words escape me, I regret them.

  Shane doesn’t answer me right away. Instead he skims over my jaw with his thumb as his eyes remain focused on my lips. Leaning in, he kisses me softly, and I smile against his mouth.

  “Sandy and I have never been more than friends.”

  “Looks like your little friend has a crush.” He doesn’t deny it, but his avoidance of the topic is indication enough that it is over. A subject tucked away for another time, I guess.

  An uncomfortable silence settles between us, and my stomach coils as I look toward the ground at my feet.

  “I should’ve told you,” Shane finally says. He seems tormented by what is rolling around in his mind. Part of me wants to rescue him and tell him that whatever it is, it’s okay, and that I don’t need to know. But another part, an even bigger part, understands that this is what has been holding us apart. If I want to move forward with him, we have to get to the heart of what is keeping us from taking any further steps together.

  “I shouldn’t be embarrassed, but I am.” No, he has to know that even an hour with his mother and I can see that loving her and protecting her is exactly where his sole focus should be. “I have a father who thought we weren’t worth sticking around for.” Until then, I never once thought of where his father was in the mix. “When shit got tough, he bolted, and I’m here. I’m fucking here, Janelle, taking care of things while he’s out there doing God knows what with whomever he chooses.”

  A flare of anger ignites in him, and he steps back to gain some space. Instinctively, I want to reach out for him, but I know giving him his space is for the best.

  “I’m embarrassed because I don’t have the kind of life most guys my age do. This is what I was talking about when I said I can’t give you the things a man should be able to give the girl he’s falling for.”

  My heart feels as though it constricts, and I do my very best not to react to his confession.

  Shane comes forward in a rush, taking my face in his hands. His lips hover only inches from mine, so close I can feel his breath fanning over my face. “Damn it, I shouldn’t fucking allow myself to feel the things I feel for you. I can’t be who you need me to be. I don’t think I will ever be able to be that guy for you. You deserve more—”

  “Let me in.” His eyes widen as I do my best to make him hear me clearly. “I am here. I have been here, right here, with you. You choose to keep me at a distance; you choose to only tell me half-truths and hide things you should be getting off your chest. None of that is good for any one person. This is me standing before you telling you that I want to be the person you lean on. I want you to share your troubles and concerns with me. I want to be the one person you run to when you feel like you can’t get your head above water. And I want to be the person that helps you through it all and shows you that you are an incredible man, with an amazing heart and soul.”

  “I can’t do this now.” I feel deflated once he says the words, and I know we are right back where we were: the one place that will always keep us from being exactly what we can be. “Why don’t we go inside so that I can introduce my mother to the woman that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about since the very first time I laid eyes on her?”

  Tears fill my eyes.

  “I can’t make any promises, Janelle.” He takes in a deep breath, his chest rising and falling in the process. “I’m difficult, I get angry so easily, especially when it comes to my mother and the things my father has done since the accident. I let it all get the best of me and I react before I think.”

  Again he takes a deep breath. I want to say something in return, but I am also terrified I will destroy the moment, so I remain quiet.

  “But if you’re willing to give this a shot,” his thumb skims over my lower lip, “if you’re willing to accept that I’m gonna screw up, because Janelle, I will, then I’m willing to do my best to let you in.”

  I kiss the pad of his thumb, and the side of his mouth tips up in a smile.

  “We have a beautiful lady inside waiting on the two of us.” His smile grows even wider. “What do you say we save all this heavy stuff for another time and we go inside so I can finish spoiling her?”

  Sliding his hand around to cup the back of my neck, he tugs me closer, his lips sealing against mine. A light suction on my lower lip and I try not to groan as he steps back, ending the kiss m
uch too soon. “I told you long ago that you are dangerous. Each day with you proves that I wasn’t wrong.”

  Unsure of what exactly he was referring to, I don’t get the chance to ask before he links his fingers with mine and begins to pull me toward the entrance of the facility.

  Hand in hand, we walk inside, and as we pass the young girl from earlier, I see her gaze settle on our joined hands. Disappointment, sadness, and jealousy all swarm her features at once, and I feel for her. If I were on the opposite side and had to watch Shane with another girl, I know I too would find difficulty in it.

  When she looks up at me, I offer her a kind smile, and she quickly shifts and seems embarrassed by being caught.

  When we finally reach his mother’s room, I feel butterflies in my stomach even though I have already spent hours with her. But this is different. This is Shane doing something I know he has never done, and I can’t help but be floored by the magnitude of this moment. This is huge for him.

  Aunt Lottie has finished Nora’s hair and is sitting at her side massaging her hand when we enter the room. Both she and Martha look up to find us entering the room hand in hand.

  “Good to see you’ve accepted the inevitable,” Slate quips followed by a chuckle, and I expect Shane to grow irritated, but he chuckles in response. Without a word to his friend, he guides me toward his mother and crouches on the floor before her.

  “I know that you’ve already met Janelle, Mom…” He looks up at me, and the adoration in his eyes makes my heart skip a beat. “But I should’ve been the one to introduce the two of you. I should have brought her here weeks ago. I should’ve been doing a lot of things I haven’t been doing, but that’s all gonna change. I think it’s time I let people in. So Mom, I would like to introduce you to Janelle Pearson, the girl your son can’t seem to stop thinking about. The girl I hope can put up with me long enough to fall for me the same way I am falling for her.”

  I swear I can hear my heart beating in my ears.

  He is falling for me. But what he doesn’t know is I’m leap years ahead of him. I’ve seen the good in this man even when he was doing his best to hide his true self.

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Shane

  I curl in behind Janelle. Her warm smooth body fits to mine perfectly. Her bare back presses against my chest, and my arms are wrapped securely around her from behind. My nose tickles from her hair that has fallen out of the high ponytail she wears. I can still smell the sex in the air, that erotic aroma of two people losing themselves in one another. It’s intoxicating, alluring, and I have to fight the reaction my body has to her.

  The only thing that separates us is the thin piece of silk she slipped on after her shower before climbing into bed next to me. I’d prefer she’d gone without underwear, but instead I grab her and pull her body closer to mine, eager to hold her after our day with my mother and our night making up.

  I feel closer to her, and I know that it’s because she knows me, she knows why I’ve been so guarded, and she understands. Something I noticed almost immediately about Janelle is that family means everything to her, so the idea that my mother is my number one priority comes as no surprise to her. I regret holding back and not telling her sooner.

  But now here we are, in a good place. She is in my arms where I need her to be.

  I know it is early; the barely lit sky outside of her window is an indication of that. I should get up and check the time, but I don’t want to move. I’d stay just as we are forever if I could. So I will settle for the now, take in every single second with her before my day begins and life pulls me away from her.

  Somehow, though, even when the weight of the world still remains on my shoulders, I feel lighter. I don’t feel like I am drowning, and I know this gorgeous girl and the fact that she now knows is the reason for that lightness.

  Janelle stirs in my arms, her ass wiggling and pressing against my groin. Biting my lip, I wait for her to settle, only it takes far too long. The damage is already done. Hard and in need of her, I shift my hips and seek the pressure I need. Grinding into her from behind, she moans, and I am fucked. I know it the second it happens. Holding back will be impossible.

  Janelle is a sweet addiction. The way her body responds to my touch, the way she whimpers and cries out for me. Feeling her warmth wrapped around me as her hips thrust along to the rhythm of my own. It is pure fucking ecstasy.

  She arches her back, and I peek over her shoulders to see her tits; the hardening of her nipples call out to me. Gliding my palm over her hip, along her side, and then around to her front, I cup her in my hand. Gently squeezing her, I massage the perfect handful, and she lets out a low growl that goes straight for my cock.

  Then she begins to shift against me even more, practically mimicking what she did last night when we were in the shower together. Memories flood me, the way she felt, her warmth, the way she moaned my name.

  I continue on, kissing along her neck, nibbling and sucking. The barrier of her panties pisses me off. “Janelle.” When I say her name, she doesn’t respond, only continues to move her ass, grinding against me.

  Silently begging for more.

  Pulling her panties to the side, I glide my finger over her and find she is wet and ready. “Yes,” she whispers, “please.”

  Pulling my hand back, she looks back over her shoulder, and I see the want in her eyes. Pressing my lips to hers, I lick along the seam of her lips and am pleased when her lips part. Getting lost in our kiss, I slowly push her panties down her thighs and move my body in closer behind her. Feeling her wet and warm, I guide the head of my cock to her entrance and thrust forward. Swallowing her gasp, I continue to kiss her. I don’t move right away, just enjoy the way her body feels wrapped snuggly around me.

  Janelle has wants of her own, though, and she takes it upon herself to begin to move. I tug on her lower lip and suck. She feels so amazing, so perfect.

  I reach around her and use my finger to gently massage her clit as I begin to really move, pushing into her deeper with each thrust of my hips. We move together like we’ve been doing it for years, forever even. She is it for me; I can feel it. She is the only person I want, the one I need. I’ve never been a guy who believes in one person for another. I never thought that I’d find or even want to find someone to share my days with. Then this sassy, perfect, sexy woman moved in next door, and I know now that I never want to let her go.

  Janelle’s back arches, and I groan when she tightens around me, the slight shift of her hips as she takes over moving against me. I lean back enough to look down to the place we are connected and am completely lost in the way her body swallows me. I grip her hips, slowing the pace, needing to drag out the pleasure and make the moment last.

  “I love this,” Janelle coos.

  I love you. The words immediately enter my mind as I chase the erotic feelings that are overwhelming me. I need you. More than I can ever explain.

  “You feel so good.” My dirty girl continues to drive me crazy with her words, and I try my best to hold back my release. “The way you move inside of me.”

  Oh hell.

  “The way you touch me.” Again her walls tighten around me, and I feel that familiar tingling sensation in my balls as they tighten. “Mm.” Her reaction is to move faster, pushing back against me. Thrust for thrust, Janelle draws out the pleasure, and I lean in and bite down on her shoulder, hearing her whimper.

  I let go, give in to the way she grips me tight, and I drive in deep, holding her body tightly against mine. She continues to wiggle her ass, trying to get even the smallest amount of movement as I explode inside of her, feeling lightheaded from the release.

  ***

  I slow to a stop just outside the Pearsons’ home on Waltann Lane. I look down at the address I hold in my hand one last time to be sure. It doesn’t matter that Janelle’s Jeep sits in the driveway, or her sister’s blue SUV; I still double check myself. More of a stalling tactic than a necessary one, because I am already running
late and I still am so unsure about even showing up.

  This is big. The whole meet the family, even though I already know her sisters. But parents, that is huge; it’s the one thing that can stand between or open the gates for Janelle and me and where we’ll go from here.

  What if they dislike me? What if her father takes one look at me and makes the decision that I am no good for his daughter?

  The size of the home is intimidating. The Pearsons are well off, it seems, and it’s a simple reminder of the fact that I will never be able to give Janelle the things she is used to, the things she deserves.

  The notification of an incoming message makes my phone vibrate in the center console cup holder, and I toss aside the paper to grab for the phone. The flashing blue light glows in the darkness of the car, and I stare at it, getting lost in the flash. Three seconds, that’s how long it has between each blink.

  Vibrating again in my hand, I finally swipe the phone and type in the code to unlock it. Both messages are from my blonde-haired beauty.

  Janelle: Are you coming inside?

  Followed by—

  Janelle: It’s not a bomb, stop staring at your phone like it may blow up.

  I smile and look up toward the house. That’s when I see her standing on the front porch watching me. She offers a little wave, and the earlier nervous energy I felt is replaced with desire. A need to be near her after a long day.

  I turn off the truck and pull my key from the ignition before climbing out. As I approach, she walks along the pathway to meet me. The second I am within reach, she grabs for my shirt near the waistband of my jeans and tugs.

  “Hey, handsome.” The way she looks up at me, like I am all she needs, makes me want to puff out my chest. This woman makes me feel like I conquered the world. “Missed you,” she adds, standing tall and rolling the weight of her body up onto the tips of her toes. Hooking her around the waist, I lower my lips to her and accept the kiss I know she is offering.