The Cruel and Beautiful Series Boxset

by A. M. Hargrove

  “AHHHH! Why didn’t you warn me?” he cries.

  “Dude. Grow some balls and act like a man. And I tried.”

  They leave with the hockey team trailing behind.

  As soon as the coast is clear, Jenna accosts me. “Why the hell didn’t you tell me?” Jenna accuses.

  “Tell you what?”

  “How hot Drew’s friends are?”

  “I don’t know. I guess I never paid attention.”

  “Figures. You fall in love and forget about your best friend.”

  That night, the three of us sit around Drew’s apartment. He made me go home with them, saying he would sleep better knowing I was there.

  Ben grabs a beer out of the fridge and says, “He looks good, Cate. A lot better than I thought he would. Except for all that shit hanging off him.” Ben shakes his head. “I don’t know how anyone can want to be a doctor.”

  “I agree,” Jenna says. “About the Drew looking good part. Well, about both, actually.”

  I half smile.

  “He told me all the tests came back good,” Ben says.

  “Yeah. That’s why they did the excision,” I say.

  “He’s going to be fine. I just know it.” Ben squeezes my shoulder.

  My phone starts to ring. It’s Mom.

  “I have to get this. It’s my mom.” We talk for about twenty minutes. She’s been so great throughout this whole thing. When I hang up I promise to call her tomorrow.

  Jenna and Ben are talking quietly when I return to the conversation. They look up at me with guilt written all over them.

  “Spill.”

  “Nothing.” Jenna is as bad of a liar as I am.

  “Liar. I know when you’re hiding something.”

  Ben steps into the conversation. “I shared something with her that I probably shouldn’t have.”

  “What?”

  “Cate, Drew asked me not to say anything.” Ben looks really uncomfortable.

  “What is it?”

  “You know, this puts me in a fucked up position. Me and my damn big mouth.”

  “Is this something I should know?” I ask.

  Ben takes a huge breath. When he does my gut twists. This is bad. “If I tell you, I betray my best friend’s confidence. And where does that leave me or what does that say about me?”

  “Ben, Drew has cancer. I need to know if it’s something that has to do with his health. I love him more than my own life. Can you try to see past what you just told me? I won’t tell him. I just need to know.”

  My face is wet again from tears. Jenna has her arm around me and says, “Just tell her, Ben. What more can it do?”

  He rubs his neck. “Yeah, okay. He’s really scared about all of this, Cate. More so than he’s telling you. He doesn’t want you to know that. The issue is the fact that the information on treating this type of cancer in adults is so varied. He told me if he were fourteen, he’d feel much better about the diagnosis. The other thing is the location of the cancer. The prognosis is better when it occurs in the limbs, specifically in the legs. Not the ribs. That’s what else is bothering him. I think the fact that he’s a doctor makes it so much worse.”

  When I really sob, Ben says, “And this is why I didn’t want to say anything.”

  “She needs to know this, Ben. She needs to be there one hundred percent for Drew.”

  I hate that Drew feels he can’t tell me these things. I’m supposed to be the one he can lean on. I’m supposed to be the one he runs to. Not Ben or his parents. I want to scream, cry, kick, yell. Something, anything to release my emotions.

  “It’s just not fair.”

  “Nothing’s fair. You should’ve learned that by now,” Jenna says.

  “Jenna, don’t be so harsh,” Ben says.

  Jenna looks chastised. But she’s right. Nothing is fair in life.

  “UGGGGH! Of anyone, it should’ve been me. Drew … he’s so good and kind.” And that’s when it hits me. There’s a good chance he’s not going to make it. It’s the old saying—only the good die young that comes to mind and Drew is the best there is.

  My face must reflect my thoughts because both Jenna and Ben say, “What is it?”

  Jenna adds, “You’ve turned gray.”

  In an expressionless voice, I say, “He may not make it.”

  Jenna gasps. “How can you say such a thing?”

  Ben doesn’t speak.

  “Only the good die young, Jenna.”

  “And you’re going to let a stupid saying dictate Drew’s life expectancy?”

  “No, I’m letting the cancer do that.”

  “You can’t! You have to fight it!”

  The life has been sucked out of me. “I wish it were me. I wish I were the one sick, instead of him. He doesn’t deserve this. He’s never done a bad thing in his life.” When they say your heart breaks, whoever “they” is doesn’t have a clue what they’re talking about. Broken isn’t close. Shattered—no cigar. Splintered—nothing doing. Pulverized—where every tiny part is crushed beyond recognition—that’s about how it feels. All the bits of my heart couldn’t possibly be put back together because they are completely annihilated.

  Jenna hugs me and whispers, “It’s not you, Cate. It’s not you. And you have to hold it together for him.”

  “You have to believe in miracles, Cate. Sometimes they do happen,” Ben says.

  The only thing I can do right now is dump more tears on my friends. How can life turn around so fast? One minute I’m on top of the world and the next, I’m at the bottom of the sea.

  Time. I need to cherish it. A few short months ago I was hoping the year would fly so Drew and I could get married, but now all I want to do is freeze it. Maybe even turn it back to before he got hit in the ribs.

  Ben’s arm goes around me now and says, “Hey, we’re here with you. If there’s ever anything you need, you let one of us know.”

  “Yeah. Thanks. I don’t know what I’d do without you two.”

  Twenty-Three

  Present

  I find myself straightening Andy’s room instead of going to the kitchen where the smell of bacon beckons me. Mitch gave me hell last night in front of Andy and even though he says everything’s cool, we are alone now. He may have more he wants to say.

  Finally, I walk out in a t-shirt clearly too big for me and Andy’s boxers rolled at the waist so they don’t fall down. I decide to hold my head high and stiffen my spine.

  “There she is. Princess Cate.”

  I’m not sure what to make of his words, so I just ask, “What are you making?”

  I lean over the counter and watch him cook what I think is either the world’s thinnest pancake or a crepe.

  “Crepes.”

  “Wow,” I say out loud. “You can cook?”

  He nods.

  “I guess the better question is—Did Andy have the ingredients to make crepes?”

  “It’s not that hard. All you need are flour, eggs, milk, butter, salt, and water,” he says.

  “Oh,” I say, as he expertly flips it in the pan. “Most single guys wouldn’t keep flour around.”

  I know Andy can cook, but he doesn’t bake, or at least he hasn’t in the past.

  “I’m sure someone left it over.”

  His words sting, but when I glance at him under a curtain of my hair, I don’t see any malice in his expression.

  “I guess so,” I mutter.

  “No worries, shorty. Drew is all about you. Whoever left it is a nobody.”

  He’s trying to smooth things over but I’m getting more uncomfortable thinking about Andy with anyone else.

  I go to sit on the couch and flip the TV on. I don’t want Mitch to see me rattled.

  “What do you want on your crepe? I found strawberries and whipped cream in the fridge,” he calls out to me.

  I have no desire to eat whipped cream. It isn’t like Andy constantly ate the stuff. Did he use that on another woman? I try not to let petty jealousy get the best of me
. He has a right to be with anyone—or at least he did. Then I remember the ice cream sundae fixings I left here a few weeks back. That doesn’t explain the strawberries.

  The door opens and Andy walks in with a dusting of snowflakes on his coat. It must be really cold for them to not have melted on his way to his apartment.

  “You treating my girl good?” Andy asks Mitch.

  “Like a princess. I’m making crepes. Bro, you have whipped cream and strawberries in your refrigerator. Dare I ask?”

  Andy’s response comes so easy. “I bought ice cream and that stuff for the dessert you interrupted last night.”

  Mitch has no shame and only shrugs. “My bad.”

  Andy makes his way over to me and kisses me quickly, but not before his nose brushes mine.

  “You’re cold,” I squirm.

  “I could heat you up.”

  “Yeah, don’t mind me. I like to watch,” Mitch calls out.

  Andy groans. He straightens and takes his coat off. “They’re plowing the roads. You’ll be able to go home soon,” he calls out over his shoulder to Mitch.

  Mitch puts a hand on his heart. “I’m hurt. Here I am slaving over a hot stove for your woman and you’re kicking me out.”

  Andy laughs and I find it hard not to. “Have you heard from Dave?”

  “No, but that prick’s probably got company of some variety. Has Drew told you about our friend Dave?”

  “Not much,” I say.

  “Dave is the prettiest of all of us, or so women say. He can have any woman he wants, but he’s not happy just with women. No, he mixes it up with anyone who catches his eye.”

  I vaguely recall the guy Mandy called Thor that drunken night and agree that Dave is pretty hot.

  “If not for his self-righteous father, I think he might have given up women,” he says absently. “Don’t you think Drew?”

  Andy shrugs.

  “His Dad doesn’t approve?” I ask.

  Mitch laughs. “His Dad is a good ole southern boy and a Senator to boot. Dave’s a chip off the old block. Kind of like me. Follow in the footsteps of our fathers, they say. You’ll be successful one day… they say.” He gives Andy a knowing look.

  “You had a choice,” Andy says. “You could have taken that fancy law degree and joined a firm.”

  “You’re a lawyer?” I ask. It seems weird someone would go through the trouble of getting a law degree and not use it.

  “I’m a Lobbyist at my dad’s firm,” he says with a disgusted curl to his lip.

  Oh, I mouth, wanting to know more but thinking it isn’t any of my business.

  Now that I know the whipped cream isn’t a product from any of Andy’s former dates, I eat Mitch’s crepe and fuss over it.

  “It’s really good.”

  “My mother is an excellent cook. She had no choice but to teach me, her baby boy.” He winks. “My two older brothers showed no interest in the culinary arts.”

  “You’re going to make some woman very happy,” I declare with my chin resting on my hand as I study the guy who treated me like mortal enemy number one last night.

  He shakes his head. “The only woman I’ll ever love is my mother.”

  I say nothing because most women don’t want a mama’s boy, even though they say that a man will treat his wife like he treats his mother.

  “He’s not telling the truth. The truth is some girl broke his heart and he’s never recovered.”

  Mitch jumps in. “She didn’t break my heart,” he denies. “Besides, women don’t want to be treated with respect. They respect you more when you treat them like dirt.” When I gasp, he adds, “Present company excluded.”

  “Not all women,” I say feeling the need to stand up for a lot of females.

  “Okay, why don’t you two agree to disagree?” Andy says to keep the peace.

  Mitch nods and I do too. A silence settles over us. I get up and take the empty dishes.

  “You don’t have to clean up after us,” Andy says.

  “It’s fine. You’ve hosted us, Mitch cooked, and I’ll clean.”

  I settle in and do the dishes while the guys sit on the couch. Andy looks tired and I realized I haven’t asked how he’s doing. I wonder how to bring up the subject as I watch the snow continue to fall heavily through the window.

  After I finish with clean up, I join the boys on the coach. Some sports channel is droning on about basketball playoffs or something. I curl up next to Andy, needing to be close to him, when cell phones begin to buzz.

  Andy gently moves my legs over to stand and walk further away, while Mitch answers his phone.

  Their conversations overlap, so I don’t really hear either of them well. They both end the call within seconds of each other.

  “I’m out. I’ve got a date.”

  Andy glances at Mitch. “You sure you can drive in this?”

  Mitch’s smile is wicked. “Don’t have to drive. I met this little brunette on the elevator last night. She invited me down to her place for lunch.”

  “You just ate,” I say pragmatically.

  He winks at me. “I’m suddenly very hungry. Don’t wait up for me.”

  Andy shakes his head. “You’re worse than Dave.”

  “Don’t hate the player,” Mitch says getting to his feet. “I might be back. So don’t go having sex on the couch.”

  “I have to go into the hospital. I’m hoping Cate will come with me. We shouldn’t be long though.”

  Mitch grabs his coat before saluting us goodbye while heading out the door.

  “So, will you come to the hospital with me?”

  There is hope in his eyes. He knows what he’s asking of me and I’m not sure I’m ready. He may be used to walking in the cancer ward, but one experience was enough for me to last a lifetime. Still, if I’m going to be with this man, I need to get used to what he does for a living.

  “I don’t have a change of clothes, remember? I have heels and a skirt. I can’t walk in the snow like that.”

  “Actually, I drove this morning which turned out to be a mistake. I left my car because they have volunteers with four wheel drive who are playing taxi. I’ve arranged for someone to pick me up in ten minutes. The roads should be better on the way back and I can drive us home.”

  I sigh with a smile. “Okay, I’ll go.”

  He’s practically beaming his pearly whites at me. He’s knows I like a man with good teeth and his are dentist approved.

  “If you look at me like that, we’re going to miss your ride,” I tease.

  “Are you daring me to see what I can do in ten minutes?”

  He tosses me over his shoulder before I can answer and shows me just what he can do in that short time. It’s a hell of a lot.

  When he gets the call his ride is here, I’ve just finished getting dressed.

  “Is your office open tomorrow?”

  I check my phone. “I’m not sure. I don’t have any messages from them yet. Do you know what the weather man says about tomorrow?” I haven’t watched the news since I’ve been here.

  “Supposedly, the snow will end late tonight. We will have up to eighteen inches when it’s over.”

  “Eighteen inches?”

  He nods and helps me get into my coat. We head downstairs and once we get outside the wind howls and snow lashes over me. I can’t imagine driving in this weather. This area isn’t supposed to be prone to snow like this. I feel like stomping my feet like a toddler that my first winter in DC area is the worst they’ve seen in years.

  We dash over to the SUV that waits at the curb. When Andy opens the front passenger door, I’m just as shocked to see the woman driver as she is to me.

  “Hi,” she says as Andy ushers me to sit in front.

  I recognize the blonde ponytail the woman sports. I can’t be sure it’s the same nurse as the one I caught kissing him. But she does have on scrubs.

  Andy climbs in the back. “Thanks for the ride, Becca.”

  “Yeah sure. I was on the
phone with Stacy when you called in. Since I drove right by your place, I offered to pick you up.”

  “Becca, this is my girlfriend Cate. Cate, this is Becca. She’s a nurse in the oncology unit.”

  “Girlfriend?” She says the word under her breath. I’m not sure she even realizes she’s said it out loud. “Nice to meet you,” she says with a cheery smile I can tell is forced.

  She holds out her hand and for a second I’m tempted to pull a Mitch. Then again, I’m not positive she’s the nurse that’s been hitting on Andy. She could be another nurse interested in him, and could I blame her?

  “You too,” I say giving her a genuine smile and shake her hand briskly.

  When it’s obvious no one is going talk, she turns on the radio. I song I recognize is playing. As I hum with the song, Becca maintains a white knuckle grip on the steering wheel. I wonder if it’s because the roads are snow covered and slick or if she’s grief-stricken to find out Andy’s off the market. I’ll keep on wondering because there is no way I’m going to ask.

  The hospital isn’t far. When she parks, an older Nick Jonas song, Jealous, starts to play. It’s almost funny how fast she turns the car off killing the song midsentence.

  Andy takes my hand as we walk into the building. He tries to be nice and make small talk with Becca, but her clipped answers are indication enough she’s not happy.

  When we reach the ward, Becca takes off her jacket and introduces me to the other nurses sitting at the station.

  “Hey everyone. This is Doc Drew’s girlfriend, Cate.”

  I get a few smiles. A few others trade glances between Becca and me. I’m starting to wonder if Becca is a former girlfriend or fling of Andy’s. She does know where he lives.

  “Weren’t you here earlier, Doc?” A male nurse with dark hair and a round face asks, easing the tension and cutting off my thoughts.

  “Yes. I’m back to see Tasha. Her mom wasn’t here earlier and has asked to speak to me.” He lays his coat on a chair and steps back over to me.

  “Well aren’t you nice? Must be the southern upbringing. Doc Chad, the ass, wouldn’t ever come back in for a patient.”

  The other nurses laugh at the guy’s comment. Andy shakes his head and steers me away from the station.