The Desert Rose

by Larry McMurtry

  Then Myrtle made matters worse, she came wandering in with Maude to drink a little coffee, since nothing was happening in the driveway. Myrtle thought Jessie was a crybaby, she liked to tease her so she promptly told Jessie she’d get gangrene at least. It was just a joke but Jessie didn’t know how to take Myrtle, even after all these years she still believed every bad thing Myrtle could think of to say.

  Harmony’s nerves were on edge, she lost her temper and told Myrtle to go home and take her goat if all she could do was make Jessie worse. Actually Harmony had been put out with Myrtle anyway, because of the terrible way she had been terrorizing Wendell. Lately she bawled him out so often that the poor man was afraid to breathe. Harmony sort of got the sense that maybe Bobby had proved undependable or had got a new girlfriend and Myrtle was taking it all out on Wendell. She had watched about enough of it and was getting ready to lower the boom on Myrtle anyway. Somebody had to take up for Wendell, he just wouldn’t take up for himself.

  When Harmony lost her temper Myrtle got upset, she said it was just a joke, anybody would know you didn’t get gangrene from a sponge bath.

  “Calm down, calm down,” Jessie said, she hated to be the cause of a fight.

  “Let me tell you something else, Myrtle,” Harmony said. “Wendell’s too good for you. I don’t know why he doesn’t leave you high and dry and get a girlfriend who appreciates him.”

  “Yeah, don’t think I don’t know you want him yourself,” Myrtle said. She slammed out in a fury and went back to the driveway to get drunk, only she didn’t push the screen door shut and Francois ran out in the yard.

  “Oh, get him,” Jessie said. The peacocks happened to hate Francois and tried to peck him every time he got in the yard. Francois immediately realized his danger and began to run around the yard at top speed, yipping as if he was about to be eaten. The peacocks tried to head him off but Francois was too fast for them. Jessie was afraid one of them would somehow paralyze him with one peck or something so finally Harmony had to put on her sandals and go catch him. Then when she came back in she noticed Myrtle had forgotten Maude and Maude was standing in the kitchen nonchalantly eating the bottom out of one of the kitchen chairs, with Jessie sitting two feet away engrossed in being a hypochondriac.

  It was not much of a way to start her last day at the Stardust, but that’s how it started. She pitched Francois in on Jessie’s bed, then she shoved Maude out the door and went outside again to feed the peacocks. Since Pepper had left they were about her only source of comfort. It was soothing to sit and tickle their heads, or watch them spread their beautiful feathers. Otherwise everything felt crazy. She was basically living with two madwomen and her own daughter had suddenly grown up and slipped away.

  Every afternoon Pepper was rehearsing at the Stardust. Harmony had watched part of one rehearsal from the wings, she didn’t think Pepper would want her intruding. Gary could hardly talk about anything but Pepper. In less than a month Monique was moving to Tahoe and Pepper would be the lead dancer. It seemed Pepper’s life was going great. She looked totally beautiful and hadn’t even been particularly catty the last few times Harmony had managed to talk to her. So far as she could tell Mel was working out fine. Just last week when she was wondering if she’d ever get to meet him, he called in the afternoon and said he was Pepper’s fiance, he hoped she didn’t mind. They had had to postpone the wedding because Mel’s father had had a mild heart attack, it might be a month or two before he felt well enough to travel.

  Harmony said “Oh sure, whatever you and Pepper want,” and Mel said, “Well, one thing I want is to meet you, after all I’m going to be your son-in-law.”

  Harmony couldn’t get used to the idea of having a son-in-law, but she said fine, when do we meet?

  He said how about tomorrow afternoon, which was fine. She dressed very carefully, she remembered that Pepper had commented on his taste so she took pains and Mel sent a chauffeur over with a car. From the first moment she liked Mel, he had a friendly smile and made eye contact, he wasn’t just being polite in having her over, he actually wanted to get to know her a little. The house was a little intimidating it was so clean and spacious, but Mel took her out by the pool and gave her a drink. The pool was Olympic. Mel explained that was because his father was a swim coach—he was no Olympic swimmer himself.

  “Harmony, I wish Pepper wasn’t so jealous of you,” Mel said. “However, she is and I don’t think there’s too much either of us can do about it. I think she’ll just have to outgrow it.”

  It was sort of startling, it had never quite occurred to her that that was the explanation of why Pepper was always so catty, but maybe that was it.

  “Why would she be jealous of me, I’m her mother?” she asked. Mel was so friendly, she felt she could just be frank.

  “Probably because all these years she’s been hearing you were the most beautiful woman in Las Vegas—now she’s a beautiful woman herself and she wants to be the most beautiful. She feels she’s been overlooked in favor of you.”

  Mel sort of seemed to feel sorry that he had had to be the one to point that out. He seemed to think jealousy of her explained a great many of Pepper’s attitudes—maybe it did, but with her last day at the Stardust starting off so badly Harmony had a hard time understanding what there was to be jealous of. After all, she was fired, and not one single show had expressed an interest in hiring her. She went to the Trop and the Dunes and the MGM before she got discouraged. Everyone was extremely polite, they hadn’t wanted to hurt her feelings, but even so it was obvious she had no chance of getting hired.

  So unless Ross came up with something in Reno it was definitely her last day as a showgirl. And as far as beauty went there was probably not a person left who thought she was the most beautiful woman in Las Vegas, and if Jessie and Myrtle didn’t start behaving better she was going to look even worse than she did. Practically every day since Jessie moved in she lost her temper, Jessie was hard to live with. At the last minute she had backed out of marrying Monroe, she was just too afraid Monroe didn’t mean it about being nice to Francois.

  That was no tragedy, Jessie couldn’t count either and probably would have made a mess of the bills and stuff at the muffler shop if she had actually tried to keep the books. It just meant that Jessie wasn’t going back to her apartment, she couldn’t face it, she was probably just going to live in Pepper’s room for a few years. After all she was Harmony’s oldest friend and there was no sense in the room going to waste. Anyway Jessie couldn’t afford the rent on her apartment now that she was fired.

  The more Harmony thought about it the more it seemed she was the one who ought to be jealous, not Pepper. After all, Pepper was going to be dancing the lead, plus she had a fiance who was kind, not to mention rich and smart, with a beautiful house and an Olympic-sized pool. She herself didn’t even have a boyfriend at the moment, or even a prospect of one, unless Ross decided he wanted to get back together and Harmony was doubtful of that, he hadn’t called.

  In the mornings, when she went to bed, she always longed for a boyfriend, just someone to hold her, but there was no one showing that much interest except Gene, and she wasn’t letting herself encourage Gene, he was definitely too young. Also it might be true that Wendell cared for her, he still gave her special attention when she hit the Amoco station, but she couldn’t do anything as bad as stealing Myrtle’s boyfriend, she wasn’t that treacherous, all she meant to do was make Myrtle behave a little better.

  That reminded her that she had hurt Myrtle’s feelings, she got up to go apologize. It was a little sad that Pepper wasn’t home anymore, Harmony missed cooking breakfast for her. Even if it was just ten minutes and Pepper was catty there was something nice about it, she got to see her daughter. It felt odd to get home from work and have Jessie be there instead of Pepper. Of course Pepper was full of herself and a little spoiled, probably just from being talented from such an early age, anyway Harmony missed her at breakfast, it had always been the time they had together,
all those years.

  Myrtle was sitting in the lawn chair wiping away tears. She acted tough as nails but if you lost your temper at her she turned out not to be so tough. Harmony felt a little ashamed, it was just that her nerves had been on edge.

  “Myrtle, I’m sorry, I just lost my temper,” Harmony said.

  “No, you was right, I treat that man like dog shit,” Myrtle said.

  Harmony had even more regrets, once Myrtle got down on herself getting her back up was a long process, but she was too tired to start the process. She sat on the fender of the Buick for a minute, enjoying the sunlight. Myrtle had stopped crying and was watching an “I Love Lucy” rerun, some days she did nothing but watch reruns.

  “So what about Ross, he’s about your only hope,” Myrtle said. She had been worrying a good deal about the economic situation.

  “Well, he hasn’t called,” Harmony said.

  “Why wait? Call him,” Myrtle said.

  She had been meaning to, it was just that she hoped Ross would call first, she didn’t want to put pressure on him.

  “You just want to get rid of me so I won’t steal Wendell,” Harmony said. She gave Myrtle a hug so Myrtle would know she hadn’t meant it.

  Jessie was at the kitchen table polishing her nails, she devoted more time to them than anything. While she was recuperating she also spent a lot of her time reading want ads, trying to decide if she could do any of the jobs that were available.

  “What about computers?” Jessie said. “There’s a lot of computer jobs. Do you think I could run one?”

  “Maybe a little one,” Harmony said, she knew very little about them really.

  Then she called Martin to ask him to have Ross call and Martin sounded a little grumpy, maybe he had just got up.

  “You can call him yourself, he has a phone now,” Martin said. That was a surprise, Ross had always just used the pay phones in the casino.

  “Hey, Ross has a phone now,” she told Jessie and then she called it and got the shock of her life, a woman answered. Harmony just hung up, she thought she dialed wrong. Then she tried again and the same woman answered, she sounded quite young.

  “Is Ross there?” she asked, feeling nervous.

  “Yeah, but he hasn’t got up yet, may I ask who’s calling?” the woman said.

  Harmony just hung up, she didn’t want to say who was calling. Then it occurred to her she should have said something, hanging up might get Ross in trouble if he was living with the woman. But it was too late, she definitely wasn’t going to call again.

  Jessie could tell she was shocked. “What’s the matter?” she asked.

  “I got a woman,” Harmony said.

  She was feeling there goes my last chance, it was a big shock, it had just never occurred to her that Ross might be living with a woman.

  “Oh my goodness, that would be bigamy,” Jessie said, she was one of the few people who knew that Harmony had never got the divorce.

  “Not if he’s just living with her,” Harmony said, but she really didn’t want to discuss it, it was too big a shock. She decided it would be better if she got out of the house to sort of think things over. Neither Myrtle nor Jessie were the most helpful people in the world when a shock occurred. She got her sun hat and walked down to the mailbox although it was an hour too early for the mail.

  Of course it was her fault—there was no reason to think Ross wouldn’t have somebody, after all she had had quite a few people over the years. It was just the way he had said she must be as beautiful as ever in such a sweet way, it had given her the notion that maybe he wanted to get back together. In her mind she had just never thought of him with someone, it wasn’t that she wanted him to be lonely or anything.

  There was no mail yet of course. She thought of walking down to Gino’s and having a Coke but it was half a mile and the day was hot so she just went back and told Myrtle.

  “Well, forget Reno,” Myrtle said. “Where was it you was from?”

  “Tulsa,” Harmony said.

  “Might be a good place to settle down,” Myrtle commented.

  “Myrtle, will you quit trying to get rid of me, it’s my birthday,” Harmony said. “I didn’t mean it about Wendell, you know that.”

  “It ain’t you I’m worrit about, it’s Jessie,” Myrtle said.

  “Oh, my goodness,” Harmony said, that was a farfetched thought in her opinion.

  “Well, she’s always been insecure and Wendell’s got a big heart,” Myrtle said, she was definitely paranoid where Wendell was concerned.

  “Forget it, Jessie’s not the least bit interested,” Harmony said—the second she said it she wished she had thought of another way to put it, Myrtle immediately took it wrong.

  “Why not, does she think she’s too good for him?” Myrtle asked. It was one of those days when it was just about impossible to get along with Myrtle. Harmony turned her back on the problem and went in just as Jessie was hanging up the phone.

  “Oh no,” Jessie said. “It’s Ross, he wanted to explain.” Harmony grabbed the phone but it was too late, Ross had already hung up.

  “Jessie, what did he say?” she asked, it was a great relief to know there was an explanation.

  “I don’t know, he didn’t explain, he just said he wanted to,” Jessie said. “I think I’m getting a migraine from all this tension.”

  “Well, I can’t stop breathing just because you get migraines,” Harmony said. “Did he say call him back or what?”

  “No, he said he’d call you. He called from a pay phone, hoping to catch you.”

  Harmony felt horrible, if only she hadn’t gone for the stupid walk she’d know what the deal was about the woman. There could be any number of explanations, maybe Ross had a younger sister she didn’t know about.

  But then she sat by the phone for three hours, hoping Ross would call back and explain, and the phone never rang. Jessie was in the bedroom with a cold rag on her forehead, nursing her migraine.

  Finally she decided this is no way to spend my birthday, she borrowed the Buick and headed for Debbie’s and Marty’s, thinking Gary might be there. “If Ross calls again just make him explain,” she told Jessie and Jessie promised. She had had two dates with Ross herself before Harmony had been introduced to him, she always liked to hear how Ross was doing.

  2.

  GARY WAS at Debbie’s and Marty’s all right. He had decided her party had to have balloons so he had bought quite a few balloons and rented a little pump to blow them up with. His problem was he was a little shaky. Harmony suspected he was hitting the pills again, he had recently fallen in love with a young cop and it was driving him to pills. The young cop was very good-looking but didn’t have a very good awareness, also he was not the least bit in love with Gary, it was another unrequited passion.

  The fact that Gary had the shakes made it difficult for him to tie off the balloons, so Harmony offered to do it, after all it was her party. She had a couple of vodka tonics while she was doing it—it was her last night, if she got drunk and fell off her disc, so be it.

  Giorgio fixed her the vodka tonics himself. He stood behind the bar and smiled at her constantly, maybe the time had finally come when he was going to get up his nerve. Blowing up the balloons had a peculiar effect, it reminded her of Didier, who loved balloons and magic acts and acrobats and ventriloquists. Didier liked to think of himself as a man of the circus, one of his big disappointments was that he could never get the Trop to let him have horses on stage, he also loved equestriennes. In all her years in Las Vegas she had never met a man who knew as much as Didier—he knew about everything, wine and flowers, music and dance, he talked to her of the world in a way no one else ever had. In a lot of ways her first love had been her best, which didn’t fit in with an optimistic view of things. It made her wonder if Pepper was repeating—she had read an article somewhere that said children sometimes repeated their parents’ lives. Now Pepper had a wonderful smart man who was kind like Didier and who knew the world. It was
great that Pepper had Mel, so far he seemed like the perfect son-in-law, but even so the thought of things repeating made her sad. She kept thinking about things repeating and thought how sad it would be if Mel died, like Didier, and Pepper had to drop to someone like Dave, not that Dave was so terrible just because he liked K rations, he hadn’t been that terrible but still he wasn’t on the level of Didier. Of course when she knew Didier she had been young, just starting out, her breasts had been perfect and she had the best legs in Las Vegas—probably it was just easier to be happy when you had youth going for you, which Pepper had.

  Gary noticed her looking sad, he said “You don’t look much like a birthday girl.”

  “It’s my birthday, only I’m not a girl, that’s the problem,” Harmony said.

  “Come on, look on the bright side,” Gary said. “It’s one of your most wonderful skills, after all.”

  “What is?” Harmony asked, she was still thinking about Didier.

  “The ability to see the bright side,” Gary said. “I love that about you, it takes courage, you know.”

  I guess, Harmony thought, she didn’t know, she was just hoping Pepper wouldn’t repeat and have her best love first, not unless it could last for a lot of years.

  “Does it surprise you that Ross has someone living with him?” she asked Gary.

  Gary shrugged. It hadn’t been the question she wanted to ask, anyway.

  “Do you think it’s possible he’d want me back, it’s been fourteen years. Don’t lie,” she said, she wanted a frank opinion.

  “If he doesn’t he’s a dope,” Gary said.

  3.

  IT WAS between shows that she finally got the explanation of the woman answering the phone. She had been about to go down to the bar and have a drink or two, the last show was coming up, and then Bonventre came out of his office and said she had a phone call. He even let her use the office to take the call, which was a first, usually if a call came she had to call back from one of the pay phones in the casino.