Onyx: Forever

by J. S. Lee

  It died down then they filled the living room, finding Jihun and I sat in silence, both on our phones.

  “What’s going on here?” Jiwon asked, directing the question at me.

  “The Grinch appeared.”

  Jiwon’s expression turned cold as he finally turned his attention to his grandfather. “You’re not welcome here.” Jiwon moved so that he was stood between me and him.

  “Jiwon, I’ve found myself not welcome in many places over the years, but I’ve not become successful and grown my company by paying attention to things like that.” Jihun slid his phone back into his pocket, but he remained seated. “I’ve seen enough of this,” he gestured to the house and me. The action made both Xiao and CX move so that they were either side of me. “This is a fantasy. A ridiculous fantasy where you’re playing house and risking your reputation – all of your reputations – as well as your family’s.”

  “That’s all you care about,” Jiwon scoffed.

  Jihun finally stood. I didn’t know how old he was, but at a guess, the youngest was mid-seventies. Jiwon’s father seemed to be in his mid to late forties. But Jihun wasn’t the kind of man that seemed ‘old’. It was probably the lack of heart.

  “You actually think this is sustainable?” he asked, tilting his head. “The seven of you?” Jihun looked around and gently shook his head in disgust. I wasn’t going to remind him about Youngbin. “Your job,” he said that with a sneer, “means you can’t. You saw how badly people took the rumors of you sleeping with that one.”

  Jiwon didn’t turn to look at MinMin who his grandfather had been pointing at. “You were those ‘people’,” he said, not denying the accusation even though it wasn’t true.

  “But you somehow think you aren’t setting yourself up for a bloody massacre when everyone finds out you are all with the same woman? Are you even sure you’re the father of that baby? What makes you all so certain that any one of you is the father?”

  Hands on my shoulder made me jump, and I looked upwards, finding MinMin glowering at Jiwon’s grandfather. I had a feeling he was holding on to me to stop him from marching over to the old man and hitting him. If I didn’t have a bump making me get up like I was turtle on my back, I would have slapped him myself.

  “You have no right entering this house and insulting anyone in it,” Jiwon snapped. “Get out, and don’t come back.”

  Jihun slowly shook his head. “No, it’s you who needs to get out. This has been going on for long enough and it’s time for it to end. I’m making this simple for you, Jiwon. Leave the group and join me at Yoon Enterprises, and I will let you keep Kate.”

  “No.”

  “Then, you can consider yourself no longer the family and I will make sure you never see any of us again. And when all this comes out,” he sent a dismissive wave in my direction, “I will not be helping you and you will be left with nothing.”

  “Get out,” Jiwon said, through gritted teeth. “Leave us alone, and don’t bother us again. It doesn’t matter what you threaten me with, I made my choice years ago when I debuted with Onyx. Because if you don’t, I will personally go and get a restraining order against you in place and you can have fun dealing with the gossip that will come from that.”

  “If I walk out of that door, I’m not coming back,” Jihun grunted.

  I bit my tongue, stopping myself from asking if he had heard anything his grandson had just said to him. Instead, I shuffled to my feet and took Jiwon’s hand in mine, surprised to find it shaking. “It’s your family,” I said, softly.

  “You and Onyx are my family,” he retorted, fiercely. He turned to his grandfather. “If you want to disown me, do so. I’m disowning you.”

  “You will regret this,” Jihun told him.

  Jiwon slowly shook his head. “You can tell yourself that if it will make you feel better.”

  Nobody moved as Jiwon’s grandfather walked around us, headed for the door. I half expected a parting comment, but all we heard was the click of the door closing.

  I squeezed Jiwon’s hand. “What can I do?” I asked, softly.

  “Nothing,” Jiwon said. He turned and looked at Sungmin. “What do I need to do to change my name.”

  “What?” Sungmin asked, surprised at the request.

  “People do it all the time. I know other idols have done it, so I know it’s possible. What do I need to do to change my name? What do I need to do for Atlantis to accept it?”

  “I’ll make some calls,” Sungmin frowned.

  “What did I just miss?” I turned to the door to the entrance Jihun had just walked out of, finding Youngbin standing there, hair still cropped short, and looking completely lost. “Why was you grandfather here?” he asked Jiwon.

  Jiwon let go of my hand and marched across the room, enveloping Youngbin in a hug. Over Jiwon’s shoulder, while hugging the younger man, Youngbin looked at us. “What?” he mouthed.

  “Why don’t the three of us go to my room,” Sungmin suggested, ushering the pair towards his bedroom. “We will be back.”

  I sat down on the closest seat. Xiao came and sat down beside me, pulling me to him. I didn’t fight it, leaning into his chest. “Whatever you’re thinking, don’t.”

  “Not thinking it doesn’t make it any less true,” I sighed. I wasn’t responsible for the screwed-up relationship Jiwon had with his family; that had been there long before I had ever come along. But the fact was, I had made things worse.

  “Jiwon made his choice. That’s on him,” MinMin told me. He crouched down in front of me, his eyes shining in earnest. “I think his grandfather wanted him to leave Onyx anyway, and I think he would have made the same decision as he did now, even if you weren’t here.”

  MinMin was right but it didn’t mean the whole thing didn’t suck. I knew Jiwon wasn’t close with his mom and dad either, but this would cut him off from his sister too.

  The doorbell rang. I sat up and frowned before remembering I was still expecting a delivery. “That will be the cake,” I said.

  “I’ll get it!” JongB cried, running to the front door.

  “I’ll go supervise,” CX muttered, going after him.

  “And I will go finish dinner,” I declared, getting up and heading for the kitchen. Both MinMin and Xiao followed me, although Xiao supervised from the table while MinMin helped me finish off the dinner.

  By the time everyone had joined Xiao, I was ready to serve. Although I’d cooked before, it had never been for all eight of us, so I was quite proud of the spread I’d made, even though some of the roasted potatoes were a little crispier than they should have been.

  The problem wasn’t the food. It was the mood in the room. It hung over the table, darker than the sleet filled clouds outside. Finally, after eating a while in a very abnormal silence, JongB set his knife and fork down and looked over at Jiwon. “At least your mom didn’t walk in on you balls deep in your girlfriend’s ass while you were making out with a guy.”

  CX started choking on his turkey.

  Sungmin looked like he had walked into a parallel universe and had no idea how to process that information.

  Xiao leaned over and smacked CX’s back as CX grabbed the edge of the table.

  I didn’t know if I was going to laugh or cry until I looked over at MinMin and saw him with a bacon wrapped sausage on his fork, hovering in front of his mouth. He was staring at it like he had just realized how phallic it was and it was possibly the most inappropriate time to be wrapping his mouth around something that looked like a dick on a stick.

  I only just got my napkin to my mouth fast enough to stop me spraying the contents of my mouth everywhere as I burst out laughing.

  Jiwon looked around the table in disbelief before focusing his attention back on JongB, looking less than impressed. “How many times do I need to tell you I don’t want to hear that shit?” he demanded.

  Just when I thought he was about to lose it, he stuck his fingers in the bowl of mashed potato and launched a handful of it at Jo
ngB’s face. As it slid off his face and landed in his lap, I doubled over, unable to breath from laughing so much.

  “It wasn’t me!” JongB cried. “It was Yongsik, and Minhyuk!” And then he picked up a sprout and threw it at Jiwon, who, with lightning reflexes, batted it away. It sailed over the table and landed in Sungmin’s drink, splashing him in his face.

  Wiping his face, Sungmin leaned forward, shaking his head. “I think I need to assess some of the life choices I have made.”

  Still trying to catch my breath, my throat feeling raw, I looked up and caught Youngbin’s eyes. He was grinning like the Cheshire Cat. “I’ve missed this,” he declared happily as a carrot went sailing past his face.

  About half of the food ended up everywhere but someone’s stomach. I actually didn’t mind. It was childish and silly, but it seemed to make Jiwon feel better. After I’d washed gravy from my hair, I’d returned to the kitchen to find all seven of them, still covered in food, cleaning the kitchen-dining room down.

  I sat down in a chair and watched them. There was enough of them cleaning, and I was struggling to bend or move nimbly to do much anyway. Jiwon was attempting to gather up what was salvageable and put it in containers to put in the refrigerator.

  “I’m going into Atlantis tomorrow with Sungmin to talk to the legal department,” he said, before looking at me. “I’m sorry, I know you wanted to have us all together.”

  “I want us all happy and healthy,” I corrected him.

  “Youngbin will stay here though.”

  “Jiwon, are you sure this is what you want to do?”

  Youngbin walked over to us carrying a plate with a slab of the Christmas cake on it. “Let’s go eat this,” he told me. “There’s enough people here to clean.”

  I hadn’t finished talking with Jiwon, but when I glanced at Youngbin and saw the look he was giving me, I knew I had little choice in the matter. Even though there was the promise of cake, I was still frustrated at being led into the living room. “I don’t want him making a mistake,” I hissed at Youngbin.

  Youngbin led me to the couch and waited for me to sit down before he handed me the plate and fork. He sat down beside me, curling his legs up beside him so that he could look at me. “It’s something he considered back before we debuted,” he admitted.

  My mouth fell open. “What?”

  “He decided not to back then. He wanted to see if his grandfather came around. Over the years he regretted not making that decision because now everyone knows him as Yoon Jiwon. I think today was the last straw.”

  “If he’s doing it because of me, it’s no big deal. I’ve been called worse over the years by other people.”

  Youngbin’s expression turned stormy. “And if I ever meet any of those people, I will kill them.”

  There was something about the haircut that reminded me he was in the army now, and I didn’t doubt he would have that skill. It was kinda hot, but also completely unnecessary. “Let’s not talk like that in front of Baby Gem,” I said as I received a sharp jab in the side.

  Youngbin’s eyes lit up and he leaned forward, placing his hands on my belly. “Can I persuade you to make an appearance in the next two days little girl?”

  “We don’t know it’s a girl,” I pointed out.

  “It’s a girl,” Youngbin said, firmly. “Aren’t you?” he added, crooning at my belly.

  The kicking stilled. “I think she missed you.”

  “You said she.”

  I rolled my eyes. “I think he or she missed you.”

  Youngbin looked up at me, growing serious. “I might not be there when she’s born. My next leave isn’t scheduled until the end of January. I could get paternity leave, but they know nothing about you and her.”

  I balanced the plate and half eaten cake on my belly as I reached over and ran my fingers through his hair. “There’s nothing I would love more than to have you there, but they won’t let all of you in the delivery room anyway. You do what you need to, and you will meet Baby Gem when you can.”

  “If that’s what you want, I will do everything in my power to get here,” he promised me, turning and placing a kiss in my hand. “For both my girls.”

  “It could be a boy,” I pointed out. “JongB is convinced he’s a boy. Says he kicks like one.”

  “If I was going to get anything vaguely resembling medical advice of anyone, Jongsub isn’t on that list of people,” Youngbin laughed.

  제28 장

  Break All The Rules

  Unfortunately for Youngbin, Baby Gem didn’t make an appearance at all that year. As my due date came and went, I was half hoping I wouldn’t go into labor until the end of the month, but equally, the more days past my due date I got, the more I wanted someone to stick their hand inside of me and pull Baby Gem out.

  I was feeling more like a beached whale, and the doctor was talking about having me induced. A week later, as I was waddling around the house to go to the bathroom, my waters broke.

  I sucked in a deep breath, grateful that the yoga pants which had become a staple part of my daily uniform had soaked up the liquid and changed direction to my bedroom. If it was time to go to the hospital, I was not doing it in wet clothes. Not when it was minus temperatures outside.

  I changed, putting the soiled garment in the linen basket and took a minute to calm myself. Most of the guys were in the living room, battling it out on Mario Kart and I didn’t want to go in panicked, because I didn’t need them panicking. If they did that, someone was going to get left behind.

  Which was when the first contraction hit me. I clutched the sink, my knuckles going white as I breathed through it. “That wasn’t too bad,” I told myself. I’d had period cramps worse than that.

  After it passed, I grabbed my coat from the closet, calmly picked up the bag that had been packed but unused for months and walked into Xiao’s room. He was wearing nothing but a pair of shorts as he did some bicep curls with a dumbbell.

  He looked at me, confused at what he was seeing, and then recognition washed over him. “Is it time?”

  I nodded.

  “Shit,” Xiao muttered, before promptly dropping the dumbbell on his foot.

  His yell of pain made me wince and I hurried over. “What the hell? Are you OK?”

  “No!” he cried, before a stream of expletives erupted from his mouth. “You're pregnant and I’ve just broken my foot.”

  I’d been pregnant for over nine months, but instead of saying so, another contraction hit. I doubled over, clutching at Xiao’s mattress as someone appeared in the doorway.

  “What are you yelling – is she going into labor?” Sungmin asked, alarmed.

  “She’s going into labor and I’ve broken my foot. We need to get to a hospital,” Xiao told him.

  “You broke your foot?”

  “Contractions here,” I gasped as it finally ebbed away.

  Sungmin ran over, taking the bag off me and offered me his arm. I refused; I was still able to walk and if I looked like I needed any support I’d end up being carried, and what I really wanted was to walk. “I think Xiao needs that more than me,” I said. I grabbed a hoodie from the back of his desk chair and tossed it over to him.

  The three of us, Xiao hobbling, looking more in pain than I currently was, went into the living room. MinMin looked up from the game, took one look at me, and turned the television off.

  “You are such a sore loser!” JongB exclaimed.

  MinMin just pointed at me.

  “Change of plans,” I told them. “Xiao hurt his foot.”

  Given how everyone wanted to be at the birth, we had planned for how I was going to get there. Assuming no ambulance was needed, which thankfully, it wasn’t, Sungmin was going to take me in one car, and Xiao was going to drive the others.

  “I’ll drive,” JongB declared. He paused, looking confused. “Wait! Why is no one objecting?”

  “Because I’m freaking out too much to be able to drive a car,” Jiwon said. He looked like a deer c
aught in headlights, his eyes wide. “Is it really time?”

  I nodded.

  Suddenly, there was a flurry of movement as Jiwon, JongB, MinMin and CX ran around gathering their things together. I left them to it, following Sungmin and Xiao out to the car.

  At the hospital, I insisted on taking a detour to the emergency room so someone could look at Xiao’s foot, before a contraction hit and the ER doctor told me to get to the maternity ward.

  Whatever illusion I had been under that contractions were like period cramps was quickly shattered. Contractions were the worst pain I had ever experienced in my life. I couldn’t get the drugs off the doctors fast enough.

  Baby Gem was born five hours later. There had been a lot of fighting with the doctor to make sure Sungmin was present. Good as he was, the doctor was very traditional and refused to let the father be present until I had screamed bloody murder during a contraction that I had no objection to going to the press.

  I sank back into the bed, clutching at Sungmin’s hand. I was exhausted. “Is it a boy or a girl?” I asked. Baby Gem was hidden behind the doctors and they hadn’t given him to me yet. Sungmin didn’t answer. “Sungmin, is it a boy or girl?” I looked up, seeing Sungmin’s ashen face and instantly, my heartrate was back up again. “Sungmin, what’s wrong?”

  “They’re saying something about meconium,” he muttered.

  “I have no idea what that is. What is that? What’s wrong with my baby?”

  The next thing I knew, an incubator was being pushed in and my baby wheeled out.

  “Where are you taking my baby?” I shrieked as the doors swung shut.

  The doctor turned around, lowering his mouth. “During your daughter’s birth, she suffered from something called meconium asphyxiation. It sounds scarier than it is, and it’s not unusual for babies to suffer from this.”