And Then I Turned Into a Mermaid

by Laura Kirkpatrick

  Somehow, Molly managed to refrain from all of the above, and felt a swell of pride as she smiled politely at the woman. She was practically a saint.

  When the time came to cash up the shop, Mum entrusted Margot and Melissa with the task. Molly wiped down all the counters and mopped the floors, suspecting that she had got the raw end of the deal.

  ‘Soooooo,’ Margot said, tapping her foot in time with the radio, as she jotted some numbers into columns. ‘How do you feel about sneaking down to Coley Cavern tonight?’

  Molly swallowed. Although she found herself craving the peace of mind she got from spending time as a mermaid, she just wanted to focus on the real world. Now that she had Ada back as a friend, and Fit Steve had willingly exchanged non-sausage words with her, she felt like those were the things she should be paying most attention to. ‘Nah, not tonight. I’m sorry.’

  Margot’s eyes twinkled. ‘Myla’s meeting someone. I want to know who.’

  ‘Margot!’ Melissa snapped, dumping the bank bag of pound coins on to the table with a clatter. ‘Don’t gossip like that!’ She turned to where Molly was mopping and put on her best prim-teacher frown. ‘Molly, it’s really none of our business who Myla spends her time with. Don’t let Margot –’

  ‘How do you know she’s meeting someone?’ Molly asked Margot, ignoring Melissa’s rant.

  Margot’s lip twitched. ‘Melissa was taking a big bath and overheard Myla on the phone, planning a meet-up.’

  ‘Like . . . a romantic thing?’ Molly had never considered Myla to be a person with a love life before. The thought was very strange, like imagining a moth having a crush on someone.

  Margot shrugged, then snapped an elastic band around a stack of five-pound notes. ‘Well, Myla insisted to Melissa that it wasn’t, but you know what Melissa’s merpower is . . .’

  ‘Myla was lying?’

  ‘Bingo!’

  Melissa abandoned the pile of twenties she was counting and yelled, ‘Margot! I knew I should never have told you.’

  ‘But you did,’ Margot pointed out. ‘So this is really on you. Whaddaya say, Molly?’

  Melissa grabbed her head in her hands and screamed at the top of her lungs. ‘Aaaarghhhhhhhhhh!’

  ‘Dude, what’s your trout?’ Molly asked innocently.

  Melissa whipped around to face her. ‘My trout, Molly, is that you and Margot never listen to what I have to say. Ever. You’re both horrible. You just barge into everything without thinking it through and then come crying to me when you mess it up. I’m sick of it. I’m sick of you.’

  Molly wiped her brow on her sleeve. ‘You just spat on me. Why does your spit smell like cheeseburgers? You’re supposed to be vegetarian.’

  ‘Stop it! Just stop it! Stop trying to be like Margot with the endless jokes and just be a decent human being for once!’ With that, Melissa leaped to her feet and stormed from the shop, the door banging shut behind her. The bell whimpered pathetically.

  Molly winced. ‘I kind of feel like we shouldn’t go.’

  ‘Coward,’ Margot snorted. ‘Pleeeeeeeease. Why don’t we try to find out what your merpower is at the same time? Aren’t you curious?’

  ‘Not really,’ Molly lied.

  ‘What if it’s something amazing? Like time travel? Or mind control? Or . . . oh my God, what if it’s flying?’

  Molly’s mental image of a teenage mermaid hurtling through the sky alongside two jumbo jets and a goose formation was really quite something.

  Slapping the wet mop against the tiles, Molly sighed. ‘Fine. If only to get you to shut up.’

  But the truth was, she was curious about her merpower. It could be any of those epic things Margot just mentioned, or it could be something even better. Like fireballs, for instance. Although that might not be the most useful ability to have while underwater.

  Myla had arranged to meet her mystery date at midnight, so at eleven thirty, Molly and Margot slipped down into the kitchen, shifted the broken dishwasher and climbed down into the cellar. Since Myla had no idea about the secret trapdoor, there was no chance of running into her at the wrong moment.

  The smell of dusty books hit Molly as they descended the wooden ladder, and again there was a longing tug in her chest. Maybe one day she would sneak down here alone and flip through some of the antique tomes.

  In particular she had her sights set on one called Ancient Mermaid Rituals for Manifesting Love and Desire. If she could find some weird old spell to magic Fit Steve into fancying her, her life would become a lot easier. And if she got caught breaking into his house to smear a love heart of squid ink on his bare chest, she could just say she’d had too much sea air; she wasn’t sure ‘I’m a mermaid and this is what we do’ would be a valid legal defence.

  The two sisters transformed in silence as Margot wound open the giant hole in the floor, and this time Molly relished the jump into the sea. For those few split seconds before she hit the water, she felt weightless and free, like the moment a rollercoaster just begins to drop.

  The sea itself was even better. Crisp and fresh, the saltwater was delicious in her gills. As she swam down to the cavern, her muscles felt like they were finally being used in the right way – giving her a sensation of deep satisfaction, like a really good stretch first thing in the morning.

  Coley Cavern was much quieter than the last time they were there, mainly because it was nearly midnight and there had been no Clamdunk game that evening. The ancient merman clutching a giant spear – Old Alan – was still napping on the sand. Although briefly tempted to prod him with a stick to make sure he was still breathing, Molly was relieved when he let out an almighty snore, even if it was rather like a small earthquake as it echoed around the cavern.

  There was also a group of mermen in their early twenties practising Clamdunk trick shots – was one of them Myla’s date? – and a slightly younger mermaid with pale skin, long ginger hair and a beautiful purple tail. She was perched on a rock and reading a book. Molly wondered how on earth she’d got it here without the pages getting wet.

  ‘Right, so what do we do now?’ Molly asked. ‘Wait behind a rock until Myla shows up?’ She tried to tread water, then realised she was kind of floating without having to do much. Tails were weird.

  Margot thought about this. ‘Now would be a really good time to see if your merpower is invisibility. Quick, just concentrate on it really hard.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  Her sister shrugged, squeezing the excess water from her curly hair. ‘Think about how it feels to be invisible and see if anything happens.’

  ‘I’ve never been invisible before,’ Molly muttered. ‘How would I know what it feels like?’

  ‘Er . . . use your imagination?’

  So Molly focused very hard on the feeling she had whenever Fit Steve was in the room. Like she wasn’t even there, and was just watching him from the other side of a TV screen. Like she didn’t really exist. That was as close to invisibility as she ever got.

  However, she didn’t feel any tingling of power beneath her skin, and when she looked down, her arms were in full view. ‘Nope. It’s not invisibility.’

  Margot tutted. ‘Right. Hiding behind a rock it is. How unoriginal.’

  It didn’t take long for Myla to arrive. She burst through the surface in the middle of the cavern, shook her sleek black hair, and swam across to the shore.

  Margot nudged Molly excitedly. Myla was swimming in the direction of where the group of guys were playing Clamdunk, but at the last second, she stopped at the rock where the purple-tailed mermaid was reading her book. Purple Tail looked up and smiled as Myla approached, then laid down her book on the slippery rock. She offered Myla a hand out of the water, and Myla accepted.

  ‘Now that’s a plot twist,’ Margot whispered.

  Molly watched as her older sister nestled next to Purple Tail and started chatting contently. They looked comfortable and familiar with each other – this was no first date. Molly’s suspicions were confirmed when
Myla pecked Purple Tail sweetly on the lips, and Purple Tail giggled happily.

  ‘Wait,’ Margot murmured. ‘That’s . . . oh my God, that’s Amy Fairbairn!’

  ‘The girl from sixth form?’

  Margot nodded triumphantly. ‘The one and only. Myla must’ve lied when she said she had no idea Amy was a mermaid.’

  The two younger sisters watched as Myla started to read Amy’s book over her shoulder, one arm wrapped around Amy’s curvy waist.

  ‘I’m kind of mad she didn’t tell us,’ Margot muttered.

  ‘Well, we do sort of make fun of everything,’ Molly pointed out.

  ‘But we’d never make fun of this!’

  Molly folded her arms. ‘And yet it’s fine for you to take the Michael out of me for fancying Fit Steve.’

  Margot looked at her, aghast. ‘You did not, in all seriousness, just call him Fit Steve.’

  Blushing furiously, Molly forgot that she only ever called him that to Ada. She changed the subject somewhat. ‘I mean, you never talk about your love life either, Margs. None of us do. Except maybe Minnie, but hers is largely unicorn-based.’

  Margot shrugged, but didn’t meet Molly’s eye. ‘I’m just not that interested in boys. Or girls. Or anyone. Not like that, anyway. I just like pranking people. I don’t want to have to kiss them or anything.’ She shuddered, as though she couldn’t think of anything worse. ‘Do you?’

  ‘Yes,’ Molly replied. ‘Definitely. Just nobody with lip fillers.’

  ‘Maybe there’s something wrong with me.’ Margot sounded unsure of herself for probably the first time in her life, and it caught Molly off guard. She was the most confident person Molly knew. It was weird to hear her doubt herself.

  ‘There are many things wrong with you,’ Molly agreed, ‘but your lack of interest in kissing is not one of them.’

  Margot smiled at that. ‘I think we should go.’

  ‘Me too.’ Molly watched Myla tuck a wet lock of hair behind Amy’s ear, and grinned. She was seeing a different side to all of her sisters tonight. Maybe they’d go home and find Melissa breaking the law or performing a Morris dance.

  ‘Wait!’ Margot said suddenly. ‘We should test to see if your merpower is teleportation.’

  ‘Good point,’ Molly said. She closed her eyes and focused very hard on Kittiwake Keep.

  Possibly too hard.

  Margot pointed at the stream of bubbles that popped to the surface behind Molly. ‘Did you just concentrate so hard you farted?’

  ‘Shut up,’ said Molly.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  Pease Pudding

  The next morning, waking up was a heroic effort. Only Molly’s rumbling stomach roused her from her warm bed. As she buttered and jammed a doorstep wedge of toast, Melissa appeared at the kitchen door in her fluffy dressing gown and boiled the kettle.

  ‘Cuppa?’ Melissa asked. Molly was surprised to be offered one after the storming row they’d had the day before.

  ‘Please,’ she replied cautiously, as though her sister was a wildebeest she didn’t want to startle into a stampede.

  Slowly though, the two started talking again. This is what always seemed to happen when Molly fell out with any of her siblings. There was rarely an official apology. Things just automatically went back to normal without anyone making the conscious effort to kiss and make up. Molly was fairly sure she could murder their aunt Maureen over breakfast and her sisters would all be talking to her again over lunch.

  Early that morning, Myla and their mum had left for Cambridge, where they were spending the weekend exploring ahead of Myla’s university interview the following Monday. Molly was secretly quite glad – there was no way she’d have been able to resist asking Myla about Purple Tail, a.k.a. Amy Fairbairn.

  Aunt Maureen volunteered to run the chip shop in Mum’s absence, which was terrible news for the remaining Seabrook sisters. Their aunt was infamous for making them keep the shop open as late as possible, so they’d capture the crowds leaving the pub around the corner. Molly was a bit put off by pub dwellers after the time an extremely drunk old lady had tried to eat her haddocky fins, but there was simply no telling Aunt Maureen.

  While Mum was warm and kind, Maureen was the polar opposite – stern, austere, and hard around the edges. Margot explained to Molly that this was because Aunt Maureen was also a mermaid, but never spent any time in the water, so she was taut with tension and bitterness.

  Plus she’d always resented the fact that Molly’s grandfather had left the chip shop to Mum when he’d passed away ten years ago. Molly strongly suspected Aunt Maureen would quite like Mum and all the Seabrook sisters to drown in a flash flood so she could finally run the place her way.

  Once, Molly had a chest infection and tried to get off work under Aunt Maureen’s watch. ‘Nothing I hate more than skivers and bunkers,’ Aunt Maureen had barked down the phone. ‘Work-shy, the lot of you. When I was your age, I was down the mines every weekend, influenza or not.’

  Molly highly doubted this was true, but she knew how much adults loved to talk about how much worse they’d had it back in their day, so she’d stayed silent.

  Today, despite her tiredness, Molly reluctantly agreed to a shift working behind the counter. Even though technically she wasn’t supposed to serve people until she was fourteen, Aunt Maureen was not overly concerned by petty things like law and order. Molly was grateful for the break from the Good Ship Haddock, so didn’t like to argue. In any case, Molly thought it highly unlikely that police would storm the place looking for underage fish fryers. Not when they were such loyal customers themselves.

  The chip shop was always rammed on a Saturday, and the shift was passing by pretty quickly. Working alongside Margot was always fun, thanks to her silly dances, goofy jokes and elaborate pranks. For example, today she had stuffed mini marshmallows into all the jumbo straws on the counter, and was hooting with laughter as a petulant child kept declaring them all broken.

  Scoffing, Aunt Maureen began changing the oil in the fryer. ‘For goodness’ sake, girls, you’re teenagers now. Really, you must start behaving like ladies. It’s not attractive to carry on like this.’

  Margot looked like she might be on the brink of pointing out that Aunt Maureen had never attracted anyone in her life, but Molly shot her a warning glance. It was always worth keeping the old hammerhead onside.

  Molly was in the middle of replenishing the sausages in the counter when she saw something that made her heart sink through the floor.

  Ada and Fit Steve, walking past the window, side by side, arms brushing together and Ada giggling up at his handsome face.

  The intense wave of jealousy caught Molly off guard. She couldn’t help but feel hurt by the sight of her best friend and the guy she fancied walking together.

  The sensible side of her brain told her it was probably innocent – Ada quizzing Fit Steve what to get Pete for his birthday, or something. And it’s not like anything was ever going to happen between Molly and Fit Steve. Especially now he was dating Felicity.

  Perhaps what got to Molly was the feeling of missing out. She often felt a bit jealous of her friends who didn’t have jobs. They could spend their evenings and weekends however they liked. Their parents would give them pocket money for important things like ice cream and skateboards, or whatever cool people spent their money on. Molly found herself wishing she could spend her Saturday mooching around on the prom, playing the two-penny game in the amusement arcade and wandering around the shops looking for a new outfit to wear.

  Molly shook away the jolt of self-pity as best she could. The most important thing right now was that Ada was back in her life. She desperately wanted to keep it that way.

  The main highlight of the day was Eddie of the Ears, who came in for his chips and bits around lunchtime. His maroon beanie was pulled down so low that only his generous lobes could be seen poking out the bottom.

  What hilarious thing was he going to say today? She could really do with a good laugh. />
  However, Eddie of the Ears looked deeply worried as he asked, voice low, ‘Is everything OK?’

  Was her sadness over Fit Steve and Ada and endless chip-shop shifts that obvious? Swallowing hard and faking a bright smile, Molly said, ‘Why wouldn’t it be?’

  Eddie lowered his voice even further. ‘I heard there was a fight down here last night.’

  Molly frowned in confusion. ‘A . . . fight?’ Had he heard Melissa’s screeching?

  ‘Yeah.’ Eddie’s lobes twitched, which is apparently a thing among the generously eared of this world. ‘Two fish got battered and the chips were a-salted.’

  Molly groaned, but she instantly relaxed. ‘Eddie, this is not the time or plaice to be joking.’

  Now he looked genuinely worried. ‘Oh. Sorry.’

  ‘No . . . plaice.’ She tried to explain her dreadful pun. ‘As in . . . the fish. Maybe that’s more of a written joke.’

  ‘Hey,’ he sniggered. ‘I guess your sense of humour is just too advanced for lowly chumps like me.’

  ‘What can I get for you?’

  ‘Three saveloys and a pease pudding.’

  ‘Seriously?’

  ‘No. Chips and bits. Pease and thank you.’

  Putting on her most serious expression, Molly sighed and said, ‘Look, by law I must ask you whether you would truly like pease pudding.’

  Eddie of the Ears blinked. ‘By law?’

  ‘We take condiment misuse very seriously, Edward.’

  Faux-horrified, Eddie clutched his hand to his chest. ‘Oh, you did not just Edward me.’

  Unfortunately, preparing Eddie’s chips and bits only took a few seconds, and before Molly knew it he was waving goodbye again. She found herself wishing he could’ve stayed longer, and then wondering why she wished that when Fit Steve was clearly her soulmate.

  Boys were confusing. So were feelings. Molly thought life would be a lot easier if neither existed at all.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  Baboon Buttholes

  On Sunday morning, Molly was awoken by a thump on the bedroom door. Aunt Maureen shoved it open, tossed the house phone at her and said, ‘Ada somebody.’