Off the Cuff

by K. I. Lynn

  “And that makes me wonder. Is it you, or them? If you sleep with them, do they get off as well, or are you just another selfish prick?”

  I smirked at her and leaned closer. “I’m pretty sure you already know the answer to that one.”

  Pink filled her cheeks, and I knew she was remembering all the ways I touched her. “True, I do have some experience with you in that area. But one time doesn’t make a good case study.”

  She bit down on her bottom lip as she smiled, while I was struck stupid, my body rapidly rising to the challenge. That lip between her teeth was her biggest tell. I had a feeling she had no idea she did it every time the sexual tension rose between us, but I did.

  I leaned closer, my voice low. “I’ll drag you to the bathroom right now and give you another entry for your data collection.”

  “That’s some big talk, but back to the subject at hand. What’s wrong with you?”

  I blinked at her, blindsided with the question. Weren’t we just talking about my cock deep inside her in the bathroom? She had me completely unhinged. “Nothing is wrong with me.”

  “Then what is wrong with them?”

  Oh, my exes. “It just didn’t work out. Incompatible or schedules didn’t mesh or no spark.”

  “Am I just a casual occasion?”

  “There’s only one way for us both to find out, but I’m fairly certain that the answer is no.”

  “Hmm, I think I liked you better when I hated you, before I knew you were good in bed. Though technically I haven’t had you in bed, so I guess really you’re good on the wall.”

  “I’d really like to add public bathroom to my list of places of accomplishment.”

  “What if I said no?” she asked.

  Everything in me begged her to say yes, and the idea of no hadn’t entered my mind. “Then I would back off, but I really hope to have you screaming yes very soon.”

  “And then?”

  “And then maybe you might say yes to an actual date.” Getting through to her was like breaking into Fort Knox—impossible. Yes, I wanted to fuck her. Lots. Yes, I wanted to take her out.

  What was so hard for her to accept?

  “You keep harping on this actual date thing.”

  “Because there’s something keeping you from saying yes, and that annoys me, so I’ll continue asking until that word leaves your lips.” Her secrets annoyed the fuck out of me because I wanted to know them. It drove me crazy.

  “Why did you kiss me in the elevator?”

  I froze, the playful energy leaving me, and I felt that tightness in my chest reemerge. “Because I wanted to.”

  “That’s not what your reaction to my question says.”

  I nodded. The best thing for me to do was to tell the truth, but how much of that would satiate her curiosity? “I have the same issue as you. I don’t do well in situations like that.”

  “Horror movies get you too?”

  “Horror, yes. Movie, no,” I admitted.

  “You didn’t seem like it was much of a problem for you.” Her words said one thing, but her expression told me another. Perhaps I didn’t do a good enough job stuffing down how affected I was.

  “You don’t remember me trying to tear the doors open? I was panicking as well, but you needed help. Touching you grounded me, and I had hoped it would do the same to you. Once I started, I didn’t want to stop.”

  My eyes met hers, and I reached out for her hand. She drew in a sharp breath when we touched, and that wonderful vibration passed between us again. That was my cue, my proof that Roe was something special.

  Lunch was filled with our regular banter with sprinkles of getting to know you and more than a few innuendos, the latter happening when I flattened my tongue against the dessert spoon, then flicked the tip.

  At the time I laughed at the way his jaw dropped, but that laughter died down when his hand gripped my thigh and slipped under my skirt. I swallowed hard and he leaned closer to whisper in my ear, “Keep playing innocent and I’ll have that tongue on my cock before we even make it back to the office.”

  My heart sped up and a whimper left me when the tips of his fingers lightly ran across my clit before disappearing. He paid, and we walked in tense silence, every nerve acutely aware of how close he was.

  There was a burning ache between my legs that only pulsed stronger with each minute he was near.

  I chuckled internally. It seemed my burning hatred had turned into a burning desire.

  Could be worse.

  The energy crackling between us was explosive, and if the elevator hadn’t been full when we entered, it would have been a very different kind of ride. Instead, we stood in a corner and he worked his hand up the back of my skirt, right between my thighs, and slipped his fingers inside me. I was forced to turn into his shoulder in order not to embarrass myself with the moan that was sealed behind my lips.

  When the elevator arrived at our floor, he motioned for me to walk in front of him before he moved to my other side and rested his hand on my lower back. We continued toward his office, but he made sure I didn’t miss him sucking my juices from the tips of his fingers.

  Heat flooded my cheeks, and as soon as we crossed the threshold of his office I grabbed at his waist, the hot head of his cock pressing against my palm. The sound of the door shutting and locking registered as I worked to get his belt unhooked. He tilted my head back, and a shock left me as his lips pressed against mine.

  With his hands on my hips, he walked me backward while I continued with his belt. I had the loop out and the zipper down, my fingers popping the button, and I reached beneath the elastic waistband of his briefs. I grazed the hot, silky head, earning a hiss from him. His blue eyes were dark and the ache between my legs increased.

  A moan left me as his large hands grabbed my thighs, lifting me over the edge of his desk.

  “Your papers,” I argued.

  “Fuck them,” he growled as he pushed my skirt up my thighs and over my hips. His fingers brushed against my clit, making me moan as he pushed my panties aside. “Fuck, you’re so ready for me.”

  Before I could respond, I was silenced by his cock pressing all the way inside me. My jaw dropped and a guttural sound came from me at the sudden overwhelming pleasure that crashed down on me.

  His thrusts were fast, hard, and I could feel the tightness in my abdomen growing. A shiver rolled through me as his hand snaked up my waist and across my breast to rest lightly at the base of my neck.

  Just the closeness to my neck, the slight pressure pinning me down, sent a spike of heat blasting through me and I broke. I trembled beneath him as a strangled sob rocked me.

  “Fuck,” he hissed. His hard thrusts continued as my walls pulsed around him. With a few hard grunts and groans his hips stilled, and I felt each twitch as he came.

  His hand slid from my collarbone to the desk beside my head, using that to prop himself up as his muscles loosened. We were both breathing hard, staring deep into each other’s eyes.

  Somehow, it didn’t feel as if it was just some office romp to blow off steam. As his blue eyes bore into mine, it felt like something deep inside of me unlocked.

  After a few moments, he stepped back and I felt a rush leave me, but he was quick to clean it up with some tissue. I sat up and worked on adjusting my clothes but stayed on the edge of his desk, not trusting my legs to hold me up.

  “Are you available for dinner on Friday?” he asked as he pulled his pants back up.

  My head snapped to him. “Are you asking me on a date?” I’d already turned him down once. Going on a date with him was everything I wanted.

  And everything I feared.

  “Yes… Is there a problem with that? I’m giving you multiple days of warning.”

  I brushed a lock of hair behind my ear. For weeks, we’d had banter and chemistry and a few explosive sessions of release I had desperately needed.

  But that was all I could do, even if I wanted more.

  “I don’t think th
at’s a good idea.”

  “Now why not?” he asked, clearly exasperated. “You’re attracted to me. I’m attracted to you. I want to get to know you more. Is that so bad?”

  I swallowed hard, and my chest tightened. As much as we’d connected, his words still haunted me. While he could accept me, experience had shown me there was no way he could accept Kinsey. Therefore, all we could have was what we had and nothing more.

  “Look, this has been fun, but it’s not going to work past that. We’re not a good fit.”

  He stepped forward, forcing me to look up at him. “Oh, I think I just proved we are a very good fit.”

  “I can’t. I just can’t.” As much as I want to.

  “Why not?” he asked through clenched teeth.

  “It just won’t work.” I hopped off the desk and pushed past him to make my way out. The knot in my stomach was tightening, and I had to get away.

  “Roe…”

  I didn’t pause, just continued my way out of his office. “Goodnight, Mr. Carthwright. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  Walking out on Thane—again—was difficult. Shot down not once, but twice, and I couldn’t seem to stop doing it. The fear that filled me took over and refused to even entertain the idea. My mind was beating out my body and my heart. I was trying to save myself by not getting close. If I didn’t get close, he couldn’t leave me.

  As I rode the train, I blew out a breath as I pulled up my phone and typed out a message.

  Roe: Are you ready for it? I did it. I fucked him. Twice. It was wonderful and glorious and hot and OMG I didn’t know anything could feel THAT good. But then he asked me out to dinner. I turned him down because I know that as soon as he finds out about Kinsey, he’s gone.

  I hated the unease that filled me. Maybe I should have told him, but the longer I withheld, the longer I could keep hold of the lie to myself. If he didn’t know… but what if he did? Part of me was curious, but the dark part of my heart already knew and silenced any hope that remained.

  My phone buzzed right as the train stopped at the station.

  Lizzie: YES! I’m so happy for you! Why are you hiding that beautiful baby from him? You’re torn because you have feelings for him. Tell him, and then ask him if he’s still interested. That’s the only way you’ll ever know. Now that your pussy is thoroughly used, stop being one and talk to him. Love you!

  I loved Lizzie’s exuberance, but I didn’t like her pointing out that I had feelings for him.

  Because I did, and it would hurt when he was no longer interested because of Kinsey.

  The next morning, we had a meeting scheduled together with some of the Worthington executives. When I arrived, it was so silent I thought he wasn’t in yet.

  “Good morning,” I said when I found him at his desk glued to his screen. There was no response so I stepped closer, thinking maybe he had earbuds in and couldn’t hear me. “Good morning.”

  He picked something up from his desk and thrust it at me. “I need this sent to Shannon so he can get the contract going.”

  “Okay,” I said as I took the folder from him. He still hadn’t looked at me, and I didn’t like the pit forming in my stomach. “Do you need some coffee?”

  “I already have some,” he replied, still not looking at me.

  I didn’t move, refusing to do so until he acknowledged me.

  “Is there a reason you aren’t getting that done?” he asked in a clipped tone.

  “Is there a reason you won’t look at me?”

  His jaw flexed and he turned to me, a cool detachment in his gaze. “Now will you leave me alone?”

  “That’s something I’ve tried to do for weeks. Why so hostile now?”

  “Because I was so stupid to think that maybe there was something between us, but my bad, I guess it isn’t worth even trying,” he spat.

  It felt like he’d stabbed me in the chest, and I couldn’t figure out why.

  “I hate passive aggressive as much as I hate manipulation.”

  He abruptly stood, fire burning in his eyes. “You want to talk about manipulation? You. Because that is all you’ve done to me for weeks.”

  “I have not.” Have I? It couldn’t be.

  “But you have. You may not have realized that was what you were doing, but you were. Twice I’ve had you in my arms, twice I’ve thought that finally you would tell me yes to fucking dinner! Only to be shot down as not fucking good enough.” He sat back down and pulled his chair back into his desk. “So go file that and get out of my face, because I really don’t want to see you right now.”

  I was in shock as I backed up and turned, holding the file close to my chest.

  The pit in my stomach grew, and I stepped out of his office. Not good enough? Did he really think that? I was the one who wasn’t good enough. Me.

  I was the problem. He was… perfect.

  There was a pang in my chest just thinking that I might have hurt him, that because I wasn’t honest about my situation, I’d caused him pain. It was a feeling that deepened when I acknowledged that on some level, he cared about me. That was the only way he would be fazed. A hit to the ego wasn’t enough for the backlash I was receiving.

  It was a hard hit. One that I took personally. I’d hurt him, and he was lashing out at me.

  Over the past few weeks I’d gotten to know him, know his true personality, and accept that I was judging him by our first interactions. By not being honest I had unintentionally played with his feelings, emotions I didn’t even believe he had toward me.

  After taking the file to Shannon, one of the in-house lawyers, I was welcoming officers of Worthington Exchange into the conference room. Once everyone was seated, Carthwright excused me from the meeting.

  I retreated back to my desk, hating the unease I was feeling. But I just had to remind myself of one thing—it was better this way. If he hated me, then he couldn’t leave me.

  But in a way, he already had. I’d pushed him away as hard as I could, and I was paying the price for not taking his feelings seriously. The cold infiltrated everything, and I found myself desperately missing his touch.

  For the rest of the day, every time Thane looked at me there was a cool detachment, a stark contrast to the day before. He didn’t take my rejection well.

  Neither did I.

  All weekend long, that stone remained in my stomach.

  We were halfway through Tuesday, or work-day three of the same attitude, when I realized I needed to inform him of my upcoming absence.

  “Can I talk to you?” I asked as I stepped into his office.

  He looked up and sat back in his chair. There was no expression on his face, his features blank. I wasn’t used to the blanket indifference to me. The emotions that were normally so strong between us, simmering under the surface, were extinguished. I swallowed hard, my chest clenching, knowing I was the reason for that look. I missed the devilish smirk, the fire in his eyes, and the way we interacted.

  I missed him.

  “I’ll be out on Friday,” I said. It was a date I’d cleared with Matt long ago, but I realized Thane didn’t know.

  “I need you on Friday,” he said, then turned his attention back to the work in front of him, effectively dismissing me with just five words.

  “I won’t be here,” I stressed. A tightness began to wrap itself around my chest.

  He pushed his keyboard back and stared at me. “Why not?”

  My teeth mashed together. His attitude told me he was upset, but didn’t he realize his behavior was hurting me? Maybe he wanted that, to punish me in another way for shutting him down.

  All I wanted was to go back to how we were a week before, because every moment I was close to him had become torture.

  “I’m taking a personal day, and that’s all you need to know.” I turned to walk away.

  “Roe, wait.”

  I snapped back around. “You can’t force me to tell you because I don’t have to. I’ll do what I can by the time I leave on Thursday, and th
en I’ll see you on Monday.”

  He just stared at me and I turned to leave, settling back down in my chair.

  A tear slipped down my cheek. Why did it hurt so much?

  The last week and a half was complete shit. It started off fantastically between her thighs, and a minute later it fell apart.

  I couldn’t figure out why Roe was so adamant about Friday. She refused to tell me why, but when I looked at the calendar, the date hit me—September 11th.

  I glanced at the door, to the profile of her face as she worked. Did she lose someone when the towers went down?

  If she did, I would feel like a complete and total ass, earning the name in her phone.

  I hated the feeling in my chest every time I even thought about her. The frustration and anger. I knew I just needed to try harder, but I also knew I couldn’t make her go out with me, let alone like me.

  Maybe her change in attitude had to do with Friday. Maybe I needed to get over thinking everything was about me—a hard thing to do when all my thoughts were on her. Remembering our lunch date and how well that went, how well we fit together.

  Then the smack-down of cold, hard rejection that stung and resonated for days.

  The first time she declined a date, her rationale was sound, though I knew there was something else. All the secrets that I wanted to know that hung around.

  How was I supposed to make her mine if she kept slamming the proverbial door in my face? Shutting me down right after proving she wanted me was a hard blow.

  Then again, I wasn’t being very receptive. Processing these feelings that I’d never had before was proving more difficult than I believed.

  For the next two days, I tried to tamp down the desire to get back to talking to her like I used to. To get back to the relationship we had been developing. My problem was that I’d never been in such a situation and I didn’t know how to proceed. As much as I wanted to go after her relentlessly until she gave in, I had a feeling that would just push her further away.