Whatever Love Means

by Leigh Fleming

  Do you realize it’s the first time we’ve lived together as a family? Not exactly true—we were together for a while after she was born, but my deployment didn’t give us much time. And then I came home and was all messed up and you weren’t happy. I’d give anything to go back and do it again, make it better, be better. I’ve let you down more times than I can count, but believe me when I say I’ve never meant to hurt you. Your happiness and Carly’s are the most important things to me. I should’ve stayed out of your business with Buddy. It’s not up to me to tell you who to love or marry. I gave up the right to say anything about how you live your life fifteen years ago. And, like you said last night, there are no do-overs.

  I just want you to be happy.

  Travis

  Chapter 20

  Maggie’s footsteps clicked and clacked on the metal staircase leading to Travis’s apartment above the garage. She hadn’t had much sleep last night, but what rest she’d had was deep and satisfying. She’d reached some crucial conclusions and had formulated a plan. Anxious to make things right with Travis, she had dressed quickly, skipped breakfast, and rushed over to his apartment to apologize. She shouldn’t have blown up like that—she and Carly had never had an argument. Last night before Carly had gone to bed, she had wrapped her arms around her daughter, told her she loved her, and forgave her for snooping around.

  When she reached the landing, she tapped her knuckle against the door, and Travis answered. All his weight rested on a pair of crutches tucked under his arms. She hugged herself around her middle and glanced down at the steps she’d just climbed.

  “Hi.” His voice was soft and tender, and it made her feel all the guiltier for throwing him out in his condition. “Come in,” he said, hopping aside.

  Stepping through the door, she glanced around at the neat, sparse kitchen. It had been years since she’d been here.

  “How’s Carly this morning?” he asked, closing the door.

  “She’s okay. We’re okay.”

  “Have a seat at the table. Want some coffee?”

  “Sure.”

  She pulled out a chair, its wooden legs scraping on the vinyl flooring. Travis hobbled on his crutches to the cabinet, pulled out two mugs, and filled them with coffee. He stared into the dark, glossy liquid, seeming to ponder how he could carry the mugs to the table without spilling burning hot coffee on his hand.

  “Let me help you. I’ll get that.” She rushed to his rescue and carried the mugs to the table. He took a seat across from her, and for a few minutes, they sipped in silence. They needed to talk about last night, but she wasn’t sure how to start. The last thing she wanted was an argument.

  “Did you find my note?” he asked, tipping his cup to his lips.

  “Yeah.”

  “And?”

  “I’m here, aren’t I?” That was too sharp. If she didn’t want a fight, she had to get her emotions under control. “Look, I’m sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have thrown you out. There’s never been a problem between me and Carly, and it stunned me. I want to make things right.”

  “I swear she was planning to tell you as soon as you got home.”

  “I believe you.”

  She did believe Carly would have told her—she and her daughter didn’t keep secrets from one another. But what about her and Travis? He had gone behind her back and had Buddy investigated. The dishonesty alone should make her furious. But the revelations about Buddy’s past had oddly left her feeling light, like a great weight had been lifted off her back.

  “How are you this morning?” He grabbed a napkin from its wooden holder at the center of the table and wiped at some dribbled coffee. His eyes looked everywhere but at her.

  “A little tired. It was a late night.”

  “I’m sorry about that.”

  “Penny came over. She was a big help.”

  Penny had helped her wake up to the reality that her fiancé wasn’t who he pretended to be. He’d hidden some key facts from his past and most likely had stolen not only money but some priceless heirlooms. The anger she’d directed at Travis last night had changed course and was now pointed at Buddy.

  “I’m sorry about checking into Buddy’s background. I shouldn’t have done that,” he said.

  “It’s okay.”

  “It’s not okay.”

  “Just forget it.”

  She picked up a spoon and stirred her coffee, keeping her focus on the swirling liquid rather than his gaze searing through her. It was important to keep her anger and thoughts of revenge in check, so not to give her plans away.

  “Forget it? You should let me have it.”

  “No worries. It’s all good. That’s why I came over.”

  She glanced at Travis as his eyes grew big and he stared at her like she was insane or stupid or in deep denial. She was none of those. She’d finally reached the conclusion that Buddy was not a good guy. He had stolen the money from the bar, and probably the tequila, had failed to tell her he had two ex-wives and some kids, and that he was in financial trouble.

  Travis slammed the wadded-up napkin to the table.

  “Yell at me. Kick me on my cast.” He stood up shakily on his good leg, bracing his hands on the table. “Scream at me like you’ve done for years. Do something. I called the chief to do a background check on your fiancé. That was plain wrong. ”

  “Seriously, it’s okay.” She rolled her lips between her teeth, biting down to stop a smile. He was truly regretful for what he did—it showed in the crease between his brows. The flush of color made his face even more handsome. “Let it go. Buddy and I worked everything out.”

  “You told him?”

  “Yeah, I called him after you left.”

  “What did he say?”

  “It’s all good.”

  “What do you mean it’s all good?” Travis winced when his bottom hit the chair. She hated lying to him, but it served him right for what he did. Besides, if she wanted to follow through with her plans, she had to keep her thoughts to herself.

  “You have nothing to worry about.”

  “I’m worried as shit right now that you’re not ripping my head off. You’re way too calm. What the hell is happening here?”

  Maggie took a quick sip of coffee and then carried the mug to the sink. She picked up her purse off the back of the chair and headed to the door. If she stayed any longer, she feared she’d show what was up her sleeve. “I’m glad you made it home okay.”

  “Wait. What are you going to do?”

  “I’m going to do what is best for me, regardless of what anyone else thinks.”

  Fire burned once again in her belly. She was back. She’d been so rundown lately, so stressed, and now the energetic, feisty woman buried deep inside was about to rise again. She knew that Buddy was a no-good, lying snake, and she was going to prove it. She just had to keep her scheme to herself a little longer.

  The graduation ceremony went off without a hitch. Carly had strutted across the stage to receive her diploma, and now the party was in full swing. Everyone was having a great time. But Travis knew something was going on with Maggie. She flitted around the graduation party, her beautiful smile gleaming as she greeted each guest. Sure, it was Carly’s big day, a festive occasion, but her eyes twinkled too brightly, her voice perkier than usual. He had known her a long time—Maggie was putting on a show. But why?

  He hadn’t seen her since Thursday morning when she came over to his apartment. He’d been suspicious of her too-calm demeanor then, and he didn’t believe her overly-happy manner now. She was hiding something, but what? Buddy followed her around like a little puppy, and she acted genuinely happy. It was like the past few days hadn’t happened at all.

  Tucking his crutches under his arms, Travis loped over to the keg where Tucker was handing Maggie a freshly poured beer. Buddy mysteriously was not by her side.

  “Hey, can I get one of those?” he called to his friend.

  “Sure thing, bud.”

  “So,
what do you think of the party?” Maggie flashed her gorgeous greens over the rim of her red plastic cup, sending a surge to his southern region. “I think Carly and her friends are having a good time.”

  “Yeah, you done good, girl.”

  “We done good. We made a perfect daughter, you and me.”

  “You got that right.”

  He wrapped his arm around her shoulder in a friendly hug, and nearly lost a crutch when she leaned into him, glancing up at him with a sweet smile.

  “She graduated number three in her class, won a slew of scholarships, and will soon be off to college,” she said.

  “Where she’ll be a star student.”

  “BWOC.”

  “Huh?”

  “Best woman on campus.”

  They laughed, and Maggie curled into him as he pulled her tighter, her gaze locked on his mouth, and for a second, he thought she was going to stretch up and kiss him. Like the other night when they’d watched the movie, he felt a closeness between them that hadn’t been there in years. He’d been so close to kissing her then.

  “She’s the best of us,” she murmured, her focus shifting from his lips to his eyes.

  “The best of you. You’re an amazing mother.”

  “It took the two of us.” When the back of her hand grazed his cheek, he didn’t care if Tucker was standing a foot away or if Buddy was watching, he had to kiss her. They were having a rare tender moment, and it deserved a special ending. He leaned down, but just before his lips met hers, she turned her head, and his kiss landed on her cheek.

  “What the—” Penny interrupted their sweet connection, holding a plate filled with picnic food. “Let me get a camera. You two are actually being nice to each other. Somebody’s got to document this.”

  “No worries. I’m a witness,” Tucker said with a laugh.

  “We’ve called a truce.” Maggie dipped her finger in Penny’s baked beans and shoved it in her mouth, winking up at Travis. “No more arguing, especially on Carly’s graduation day.”

  “Right. The only fireworks today will be the sparklers we’ll light later.” Actually, a few explosions had gone off inside Travis as Maggie pressed against him. It had been so natural, so right. He shook his head as he adjusted his crutches beneath him and reached for the beer Tucker offered him. The almost-kiss had his gut in a knot. There had been a few close encounters between them over the years, and each one had ended with his hopes falling flat. This time was different—he wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was the way she’d looked up at him or how she rolled closer to him. But what about Buddy? Why was he still around?

  Travis took a sip of his beer, keeping his gaze locked on the sway of her hips as she walked away, promising himself that this time he wouldn’t let her get away.

  “Dad!” Carly’s shout tore his eyes and thoughts away from Maggie. She ran toward him, her long blond curls bouncing behind her. “Come play corn hole with us.”

  He laughed and held up a crutch. “Not while I’m on the injured reserve list.”

  “Come on, you can do it.” She breathed heavily from her sprint across the park as she tugged on his arm. “Kate and Brody against you and me. We’re all going to sit on lawn chairs to make it fair.”

  “This should be interesting.”

  “You’ll play?” Had he ever said no to his little girl?

  “Count me in.”

  * * *

  A few hours later, as the sun sank below the mountains, and the last of the sparklers burned out, Maggie joined Travis on the picnic table bench where he’d been sitting. All of the guests were heading home after helping clean up the pavilion. Carly joined her friends as they piled into their cars, honking their horns and waving as they pulled out of the parking lot.

  “Where’s she off to?” Travis asked as Maggie sat down beside him. They were the only two left.

  “They’re camping out at the river tonight.”

  “Why am I just now hearing about this?”

  “Because Carly knew if she told you, you’d get all bent out of shape.”

  “Damn right, I would. It doesn’t sound safe to me.”

  Maggie pressed her thumb into the crease between his brows. “She didn’t want to hear your objections or see the worry on your face. Besides, she’s leaving tomorrow for senior week at the beach. Save your worries for then.”

  “That girl is going to be the death of me.”

  “She’ll be eighteen next week. Not a little girl anymore.”

  “It doesn’t mean I won’t stop worrying about her.”

  “I know. I worry, too, but she’s smart and very responsible.”

  “Unlike her dad. I was a hellion at her age.”

  “You were a father at her age.”

  That reality hit him like a sledgehammer. Sometimes he forgot how young he and Maggie had been when they had Carly, how completely unprepared they were to be on their own with a newborn. How the hell did Carly turn out so perfect?

  “Where’s Buddy?”

  “I sent him home. He’s leaving tomorrow for a sales trip.”

  “You didn’t go home with him?”

  “Too much to do here.”

  He hid his smile behind his hand. She sighed and leaned back against the picnic table.

  “Thank you, Travis.” Maggie laid her hand on his thigh, a shimmer of moisture in her eyes.

  “For what?”

  “For everything. Being Carly’s dad. For coming to my rescue every time something went wrong. You’ve always been there for me.”

  He grabbed her hand in his and pressed it to his chest. “What’s wrong? You haven’t been yourself all day.”

  “What are you talking about? Today’s been great.”

  “You’ve been too perky, too happy.”

  She snatched her hand from his chest. “Since when is it a crime to be happy?”

  “Mag, come on. Talk to me.” She stiffened when he wrapped his arm around her. Something was bothering her, and he wasn’t going to let up until she told him what it was. “Is it what happened with the background check and Carly snooping? I’d understand if you were still pissed over that.”

  “No, I told you. It’s fine.”

  “Did I do something? Is it Buddy?”

  “Jeez, Travis.” She jumped out of his reach and landed on her feet. She pressed the back of her hand to her mouth and spun away from him. “I’m fine,” she muttered, keeping her back to him.

  “Is there something you need to tell me? Are you sick?”

  “Oh my God. Why do you have to ruin this?” She twirled around, her hands on her hips, her eyes bulging with fury. “For once we’re getting along, not arguing. It’s been a good day. Why do you have to look for the dark cloud?”

  “I’m sorry. Maybe I’m a little thrown off by how sweet you’ve been to me all day. Hell, we almost kissed.”

  “So?”

  “So . . . shit . . . four days ago you threw me out of your house, ready to kill me.”

  “I told you I’m over it.”

  “But you shouldn’t be. That’s the thing. You should still be at least a little irritated with me. You’re scaring me, Maggie.”

  She dropped her head with a heavy sigh, her long hair shielding her face from him. Was he worrying over nothing? Maybe she’d truly forgiven him for interfering in her relationship with Buddy. He was afraid to hope that this time something positive was happening between them.

  “Listen to me.” Maggie brushed her hair over her shoulders and stepped closer, mere inches between them. “I don’t want to fight with you anymore. We’ve wasted too many years bickering over the stupidest things.” She cupped his face in her hands.

  “I thought you liked our little battles.” Travis chuckled as he settled his hands on her hips.

  “Well, maybe a little.” She joined in his laughter. “From now on, I want us to be better, kinder to each other.”

  “I’d like that, too.” He tugged her closer, wrapping his arms around her. “What brought th
is on?”

  “I guess the other night. Finding you and Carly at the kitchen table . . .” Her focus grazed over his mouth, his nose, and landed on his eyes. “I realized you only did it because you care about me. I guess I never appreciated how much.”

  “You know I’ve always cared.” He ran his hand down the length of her hair. There was no better time than now to tell her how he felt. “I’ve never stopped l—”

  “You do care about me, and I appreciate it.”

  “That’s why I—”

  “Things are going to be different from now on. I’ve made some decisions, got some plans. I’m going to put me first, and live my life the way I want.”

  He pulled back, not sure how to take that. One second she sounded as though she was about to confess her feelings for him, and the next she was declaring her independence. His head spun in confusion. Did she want him or not?

  “I’m not sure what that means,” he said.

  “It means I’m going to live in the moment.” Before he could ask what that meant, she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him down to meet her. Her soft lips sought his, tenderly grazing his mouth until he opened, and her tongue clashed with his. His heart swelled to the point he thought it would burst. The last time she’d kissed him like this was the day her divorce from husband number two was final, but they’d ended up in a big argument. He wouldn’t let that happen this time.

  He placed his palms on her bottom, pulling her closer as his tongue delved deeper. Maggie arched into him, palming the back of his head, a soft moan escaping. She ended the kiss, her chest rising and falling in shallow breaths, her eyes darting back and forth, and then she rose up on her toes and pulled him into another mind-blowing kiss. Minutes passed—who the hell knew how long—the two of them slammed against each other. Travis slipped his hands under her T-shirt, feeling the silky skin of her back as she ran one hand over his head while she tucked the other in the waistband of his jeans. If they didn’t slow down, he’d take her right there on the picnic table.

  “Come home with me,” he mumbled against her lips.