Dirty Little Secret

by Jennifer Ryan

  Big Mama nodded to one of the many men scattered throughout the house as security for the girls. He pressed a button discreetly hidden behind a drapery. Roxy knew that a bell rang upstairs in all the ladies’ rooms and in the main rooms and bar downstairs. If the women weren’t already with a client, they were expected to come and line the staircase to be picked over by the next client.

  “This is the beginning of the dance,” Big Mama began. “The client gets a look at all the girls. He makes his selection, or selections, and the lady will take him into the bar or one of the parlors for a drink and some conversation to break the ice.”

  “They’ll flirt and warm the guy up for the negotiation,” Roxy added.

  “Exactly. It gives the customer a chance to settle in and relax.”

  The ladies lined the staircase. All dressed in gorgeous cocktail dresses. Silk and satin, beads and rhinestones. Some, simple and elegant. Women any man would want on his arm at an important event. Everyone’s boobs were displayed to draw a man’s eyes, whether by the deep dip of silk, or encased in a bustier. Gorgeous legs went up from high heels revealed by high slits or short skirts. Some were skinny with lithe figures, others fulsome and curvy, a couple even plump and round. Everyone posed to show off their best assets. Whatever a man’s tastes, here it was lined up and waiting for him to crook his finger to bring it to him.

  Roxy sighed out her relief that her mother wasn’t among the women called to the stairs. It unsettled her to think her mother was otherwise engaged in one of the rooms upstairs. Although Candy would love to look down at her with a smug smile, knowing Roxy was here to discuss business with Big Mama.

  “She’s tending bar right now.” Big Mama read her mind. “Since you’re leaving tomorrow, I figured you’d be in tonight. She’s become a little unpredictable and snotty since she learned you own the place.”

  “Candy?” The note of shock to her voice emphasized her sarcasm. “You have my permission to remind her that her place here is subject to the same rules you issue to all the girls.”

  “She’s just acting out a bit, feeling out this new arrangement, seeing how far she can push.”

  “Push back. She’s not to be treated any different than the other women.”

  “Is it true, Big Mama? Does Roxy own this place?” A blonde called out the question.

  Roxy and Big Mama had kept their voices down, so the others didn’t hear them discussing Candy.

  “Roxy does own the majority share in the business, but Big Mama runs this joint, just like I’ve always done.” Big Mama gave her a sideways look, letting her know nothing had really changed.

  Roxy didn’t have any argument. Even if she did, Big Mama looked ready to put her in her place. It eased the tightness in her chest, knowing that if she wanted, she could stand back, collect her money, and never step foot in this place again because Big Mama ran the show.

  Roxy backed up Big Mama’s statement. “That’s right. I came tonight to take a look around, get the feel of the place, but I’m leaving for Montana and Big Mama will remain in charge.”

  Most of the girls looked relieved, others remained skeptical. It was no secret how much Roxy hated this place. They might think she’d sell it. No telling what another owner might do, or how he’d treat them. The thought left her sick inside.

  And that’s when it hit her. Roxy had no intention of selling. She couldn’t take the chance another owner would treat them like property or worse. Because of the personal nature of their job, they needed to be protected and respected. Big Mama looked after them like her children. She made sure they were happy here and scolded them when they got out of line. When necessary, she reminded them that they were employees in this playhouse and could be fired.

  “Okay, ladies, we’ve got a bachelor party coming in about twenty minutes. Be ready to entertain.” Big Mama waved her arm and the women dispersed.

  Roxy felt sorry for the bride-to-be whose fiancé wanted one last wild night with another woman. Roxy hoped it was the last. Any guy who’d go to a whorehouse before getting married probably wasn’t the staying kind. More the straying kind.

  They walked to the next dimly lit room. Her mother stood behind the curved wood bar, a mirror behind her, bottles lined up like soldiers. Candy poured and flirted with the men lining the bar with girls draped over them or sitting in their laps. Six lined up at the bar, several more men sat on the sofas and chairs scattered about the room.

  Amy whispered to the impeccably dressed man beside her. He gave her an indulgent smile, cupped her face in his big hands, and kissed her softly on the forehead. She stood and rushed over. Her black silk gown was held together with clasps at her shoulders. The material draped over her breasts and down to her waist in a deep V. A band of material circled her waist; another just below her hips secured the material in front and back, but down the sides, she was left completely bare, giving everyone just a glimpse of her hidden curves. Sexy.

  The man who’d sat with her watched with loving eyes as Amy flew into Roxy’s arms. Roxy found his expression odd. In fact, it looked like he was quite taken with Amy.

  “Roxy, you’re here. I’d hoped to see you while I was in, but I haven’t been able to catch up with you.” Amy spoke softly so as not to disrupt the other couples.

  Roxy held her friend at arm’s length and scanned the pretty gown up close. “You look wonderful.” At seventeen, Amy had been wildly in love with a cowboy for two years. They planned to get married, start a family, and live happily ever after. Amy turned up pregnant and the cowboy got cold feet and disappeared on the rodeo circuit, taking up with a new cowgirl at every new town. Amy, devastated and alone, got kicked out of her religious parents’ house for being an unwed mother. She needed a way to keep her head above water and support her child. Desperate, she somehow ended up on the Ranch. Big Mama took her in, gave her a job, and Amy and Will were set for life with the money she made here.

  “How’s my favorite little boy?”

  “Will is wonderful. He’s with the sitter.” Amy lived four hours away and drove in one week a month to work. “So, you’re really going to move to your father’s ranch?” she asked.

  Word traveled fast. “Annabelle needs me,” Roxy said by way of explanation.

  “That’s your sister?” Amy asked.

  “No, not really. She’s Noah’s sister.” At the mention of Noah’s name, Amy and Big Mama gave each other a knowing look. Was she that transparent? First her sisters and then her mother detected something about the way she said Noah’s name, and now these two.

  So she found him intriguing. The man was definitely gorgeous, well built, and his smile could fell even an eighty-year-old woman into his bed. Crap. Even now, she felt the ripple of awareness they shared echo through her system.

  “I’m her guardian,” she finished lamely.

  “I might have to bring Will to see his aunt and meet your Noah.” She paused, then added, “And Annabelle. See how you’re doing in this new life.”

  “I’d love it if you came.” Roxy meant it, too. She and Amy had been close over the last few years. Amy was only two years younger than her and often hung out with her and her sisters and went riding. They’d ridden together in several rodeos.

  Amy was a good mother, and if her profession ensured her son’s future, who was Roxy to judge? But judge she had, and it needed to stop. Live and let live. That would be her new motto where the Wild Rose Ranch women were concerned.

  That included her mother. It had taken her a long time to get to this place, but she was done banging her head against the wall. Candy was going to do what she was going to do and Roxy was done hoping she’d somehow miraculously turn into a kind and loving mother with a nurturing heart.

  “Roxy,” Amy snapped.

  “What? Sorry. I got lost in thought.”

  “I’m so glad I got to see you before you left. I’ve got to get back.”

  “Give Will a big kiss from his auntie. I’ll send him his birthday gift next month.”
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  “I love that boy,” Amy gushed, and Roxy could see the love all over her face.

  Roxy turned to her mother, who leered at her over the bar. Great. Candy in a snit—never a good thing.

  Amy returned to her customer. Roxy and Big Mama took a seat in the corner at a small table with a vase of fresh wild roses and a candle burning in the center. “Who’s the man with Amy?” she asked, curious.

  “Judge Bettencourt. He’s actually an old friend of your father’s.”

  “Really?”

  “Judge Bettencourt and your father’s lawyer were the only two people in Whitefall who knew about this place. Your father knew how unhappy the judge was in his personal life and suggested he come here. He visits four or five times a year to see Amy.”

  Roxy’s eyebrow shot up. “He’s a regular.”

  “We have many who come and form relationships with the girls. Amy’s regulars tend to be men looking for a sweet, loving woman who will pamper and care for them.”

  “She is that type of person. Even in this.”

  “Not all men who come to a whorehouse are looking for fun and games. Some come because they need something the women in their lives don’t provide. In Judge Bettencourt’s case, he’s married to a cold woman who denies him what he craves. A lot of men who come here just want to fuck and be done. With Amy, Judge Bettencourt wants to make love, slow and leisurely. He takes his time with her, indulges his need for romance and closeness. When he’s done, he stays for hours and holds her in bed, their bodies pressed close. In the morning, he’ll kiss her on the forehead and be off to work again, like a husband leaving his wife for the day.”

  “Too bad he doesn’t marry her and have her always.”

  “That would spoil the fantasy they play out. He doesn’t love her any more than she loves him, but here, for a few hours, they can play the part. She’s the wife he wishes he had.”

  Roxy propped her elbow on the table and planted her chin in her hand and stared at the couple talking intimately on the sofa.

  “It’s kind of sad,” Roxy admitted.

  “This job is about indulging, but it doesn’t have to be all about sex.”

  Big Mama eyed her. “When are you going to let a man into your life, if for nothing else, to feel close to someone?”

  “It’s not been easy for me. People find out about my mother and assume . . .”

  “You never take the time to change their minds,” Big Mama accused, hitting the mark.

  “I never found anyone worth changing his mind.”

  “I hope you find him soon, honey, before you waste your life away and end up alone, lonely, and more bitter than you are right now.”

  “I’m not bitter,” she defended.

  “You certainly aren’t sweet. All I’m saying is stop worrying so much about the sex and focus on the closeness. Build a relationship with someone.”

  “Easier said than done when you’ve got my life.”

  “Your life is what you make it, honey.” Big Mama’s warm hand covered hers.

  Roxy appreciated the gesture so much, she put her hand over Big Mama’s.

  “How about that drink?” she boomed.

  Roxy glanced at Candy leaning over the bar, showing off her ample cleavage to a very interested twenty-something guy in jeans, a T-shirt, and work boots. Candy’s gaze collided with hers and her smile notched up seeing Roxy uncomfortable with watching her mother work. “Let’s finish this in your office.”

  “Don’t let her poke at your open wounds,” Big Mama advised.

  “They’re only open because she refuses to let them heal.”

  “You allow her to hurt you.”

  Roxy hated to admit she did let Candy get to her.

  Big Mama wrapped her arm around Roxy’s shoulders and herded her out of the bar and down a long hallway. They passed through one room with more than a dozen TV monitors stacked on a wall. A man watched the screens that showed every room in the house. If she didn’t know where she was, she’d think he was watching every porn channel on the satellite service. Instead, the displays showed the girls in the bar, parlors, and having sex in the rooms. If anything got out of hand, the security guard would notify one of the men posted upstairs in the hall outside the girls’ rooms.

  “Just a precaution to make sure the ladies are protected,” Big Mama reminded her.

  “They don’t mind the cameras?”

  “After all this time, they probably don’t even think about them anymore. As for the customers, they’re informed up front that they are under surveillance.”

  “The women make them forget all about it,” Roxy guessed.

  “That they do,” Big Mama answered with a smile and pointed to one of the monitors where a blonde bobbed her head up and down over a man’s lap. His head thrown back, eyes closed, his hand buried in her hair, he guided her to move faster over his swollen flesh.

  Big Mama cleared her throat and Roxy jumped, startled out of her transfixed state. “Sorry.”

  Big Mama only smiled. “Remember when you were fourteen and we had the talk?” She led Roxy through another door into her office.

  Roxy couldn’t forget and rolled her eyes. “You should teach sex-ed classes. We didn’t so much talk as watch the monitors and you explained what was going on.”

  “Best way to learn something is to do it. Seeing it is the next best thing. I made sure you knew exactly what you were in for when you chose to take that step. It’s more than my mother did for me. The only thing she told me was to lie there and shut up until he was done, that it was a duty to be performed, but not enjoyed. Let’s just say, I learned different from doing.”

  Big Mama laughed out loud, and Roxy couldn’t help but join in.

  “God, my life is weird.” Roxy shook her head, trying to wrap her head around how different her life was from most everyone else’s.

  The room looked like any other office. Thick beige carpet covered the floor. A desk with a leather chair behind and two comfortable club chairs in front. The pictures on the wall were of the desert sunset and various rock formations. Just an office, she thought, but not for just any kind of business.

  Roxy fell onto the sofa in the small seating area off to the left and let her head fall on the back. She closed her eyes and sighed heavily.

  “Feeling a little at sea.” Big Mama guessed her mood.

  Roxy opened her eyes and stared into Big Mama’s emerald-green ones. Surprisingly, they were soft and full of compassion. Roxy did something she didn’t often do and opened up. “This is my mother’s life. I feel like I’ve been stuck in it so long, it’s like a swamp, pulling at me and dragging me down no matter how hard I try to trudge my way out of it. Now my father wants me to live on his ranch and take over his life with the horses and his kids. He wants me to finish raising his daughter.”

  “You didn’t turn out so bad. You raised yourself and your sisters. Despite the fact Sonya is older, she took her cues from you. You’re the strong one. He knows you’ll do everything you can to teach Annabelle about life and raise her up to be a good woman. You’re a good woman,” Big Mama said and patted her knee.

  “I feel like I’m just playing a part in everyone else’s life. When I graduated college and got my job, I thought I’d finally found my way. Things were just starting to come together for me.”

  “Have you ever really thought about what you want, honey? You’ve spent the better part of your life taking care of your mother and sisters. Oh, Joe and I checked up on you guys every day, took you where you needed to go, made sure you had what you needed to get by. The other girls’ moms stopped by regularly. But you didn’t really need us. You’ve been independent and strong and smart your whole life. You use your head in everything you do, except when it comes to your horses. There, the love comes out. Stop thinking about what your life is or isn’t and start thinking of your future with your heart.”

  Big Mama glanced away, then back at her. “Your father told me when you were ready I should tell you
why he left you this place.”

  “He knew I’d never leave Candy alone to destroy her life. I’m the one who’s been standing between her and a grave for years.”

  “That’s very nearly exactly his words.”

  Roxy tapped her temple with her index finger. “I’m always thinking.”

  “It’s more than that. You may not believe this, but I think Candy held on so tight to you, because you’re the only thing that truly belongs to her. Through everything, you’ve stuck by her side, pulled her out of many tough spots, despite her behavior and lifestyle. In some strange way, I think she knows that without you, she’ll die.”

  “She almost did a few times.” An ominous shiver ripped through her as the memories from the past rose up to haunt her.

  “John gave you the Speckled Horse Ranch because it’s where he was the happiest. He wanted you to know him through the place he built and worked his whole life. He’s forcing you to leave here because he knew you’d never leave Candy otherwise. He hoped that time away, time in a place he hoped you’d fall in love with as much as he did, would help you put some distance between you and Candy. You can’t spend your life as her safety net. He didn’t want that for you and tried many times to get you away from her, though you may not realize that.

  “He was so proud of you and everything you’ve accomplished. Don’t think he didn’t know how hard it was for you. How everything you did, right or wrong, you did on your own without him. It killed him to stay away.”

  Roxy cocked her head and really took in Big Mama’s words and the soft expression in her eyes and on her face. “You really liked him.”

  “I respected him,” she admitted. “He was in a very bad situation. Annabelle needed him. Through experience, you’d learned to take care of yourself. He couldn’t let what happened with you and Candy repeat itself with Annabelle and Lisa. He saw how it affected you. So he made sure you were safe and kept Annabelle away from her mother.”

  “I guess, where Candy is concerned, that’s the best he could have hoped for me. To be safe,” she clarified.