Dirty Little Secret

by Jennifer Ryan

  “He hoped for so much more for you. I wish you could have seen the look on his face when he watched you accept your diploma from high school and college.”

  “You were both there?” Tears stung her eyes and fell down her cheeks. She’d wanted him to see her, to know she’d done it—grew up to be something different than her mother.

  “I always thought of you as my girl,” Big Mama admitted. “I never had a child, but you’ve brought me so much joy. I loved our shopping trips and movie nights.”

  “You were more like a mother to me than Candy ever was.”

  Big Mama rose and went to the small bar in the corner and poured two shots of whiskey. She handed Roxy one and sat beside her again. “Take some motherly advice. Leave this place behind when you go to your father’s ranch. Put it out of your mind and don’t think about Candy and what she’s doing, or not doing that she should. Settle into your father’s life. Let yourself be there and away from here. Stop thinking with your head and open your heart.”

  “Right now, I’m feeling numb.” At Big Mama’s cocked eyebrow, she added, “I’ll try.”

  “That’s my girl.”

  They clinked glasses and downed their shots. Roxy left an hour later not knowing how she should feel. Big Mama went over the books with her. Roxy was astounded at how much the women and the brothel made. She’d seen the balances in the accounts her father left her, but she’d never put it together with the Ranch in that way. In between talking about the business, Big Mama peppered in stories about John and the times he’d come to visit and the many calls he shared with Big Mama.

  Roxy knew a few new things. Big Mama shared a very close friendship with her father, and despite his absence in Roxy’s life, he always checked up on her in one way or another. It was comforting to know he’d never truly been out of her life, only standing on the sidelines keeping watch. If she’d ever truly needed him, he’d have been there. Knowing that eased some of her anger.

  He knew she had enough of him inside her to stand on her own.

  For the first time since finding out she had to move to the ranch, she felt hopeful about starting her new life. She still worried about her mother, but knew her father had been right. She had to leave this place and not live her life as Candy’s daughter.

  She’d done that for far too long.

  She walked the path back to her cottage, the moon big and round in the star-studded sky. She thought of her father’s ranch, the gardens surrounding the house and the green pastures. She thought of Noah.

  He intruded on her thoughts far too often.

  Would he be happy to see her?

  Or hate her for coming to live on his ranch?

  Could they find a way to work together?

  She’d find out when she arrived tomorrow.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Noah raced across the pasture, his horse galloping at top speed, and still the damn ornery gelding that escaped his stall and jumped three fences and made a run for it outpaced him. The gelding jumped a fallen tree and ran into a narrower pasture, slowing as he approached yet another fence line. Noah breathed a sigh of relief that the gelding had finally spent his burst of energy before Noah’s poor horse gave up the chase and Noah lost the gelding, or it got hurt taking one jump too many and tragedy struck.

  Rope in hand, Noah dismounted and approached the skittish horse, slow and easy. He swung the rope left, but Houdini danced right. The rope caught on the fence. Houdini backed off, raking his hoof in the dirt and snorting out his disgust at Noah’s failed attempt to catch him.

  The damn horse mocked him.

  Lasso unhooked from the fence, Noah threw again, hooking the horse around the neck. Houdini reared up, hooves punching the air before he landed on all fours again, backed up, and pulled Noah along until he muscled the horse into submission.

  Tired, dirty, sweaty, hungry, he still had several hours of work ahead of him. Since John’s death and the reading of the will, worries and frustrations had piled up and weighed him down.

  Roxy drove off leaving Noah with no way to contact her, no idea where she lived, and completely in the dark about when she’d return. If ever.

  Tom ignored his requests for Roxy’s phone number and information about his elusive partner. Vindictive ass held a grudge after Roxy kneed him in the nuts.

  Noah didn’t have time for that kind of bullshit.

  Not when he had a grieving teenager to deal with.

  Annabelle stayed in her room for days, barely eating, refusing to talk to anyone. Yesterday, she refused to get up on time to go to school. He’d practically had to drag her out of bed and make her. He hated to yell at her, but she refused to see reason. If he backed down now, she’d walk all over him.

  This morning had been marginally better, but it still took a concerted effort to get her out the door.

  One hell of a day, and there he stood in the pasture, breathing hard and out of patience.

  Who the hell was Roxy anyway?

  John didn’t want her in his life, so why the hell did he leave practically everything to her?

  And what was in that envelope that pissed her off so bad?

  It wasn’t the angry look in her eyes that made him think about her so often. It was the intense hurt beneath it.

  Why would John insist she come live here and do something to hurt her so deeply that she might not agree?

  He couldn’t believe John could be so cruel. Especially to his own daughter.

  So what the hell was really going on?

  He couldn’t figure it out.

  Decisions had to be made. He couldn’t sign a damn check without her.

  Noah set all that aside and got back to work. He soothed and calmed Houdini, then led him over to Noah’s patient and obedient horse. Noah rode back to the stables leading Houdini at a much slower pace than he’d gone after him. Both horses were tired by the time he reached the ranch.

  He rode into the yard just as Harry walked out of the stables.

  “I fixed the stall gate. Want me to take the pest?”

  Noah handed off the rope. “Cool him down and get him some water before you brush and feed him. Make sure he’s locked up tight before you leave for the night.”

  “You got it, boss.” Harry patted Houdini’s nose. “Any word on when your new sister arrives?”

  “She’s not my sister.” He didn’t think of her that way. They didn’t share blood or even a roof over their heads growing up. They were strangers.

  Still, something nagged at him. Like he’d seen her somewhere.

  He’d searched for her on Facebook and Twitter. Not that he used either of those. He didn’t find her. He Googled her and got a jumble of other Roxys, mostly porn stars, none of them as sexy as his Roxy. Which only invoked more fantasies about her because, damn, that body of hers was made for dreaming about.

  But that’s not all that drew him to her. The compassion she showed Annabelle stuck with him.

  “Robby said she’s a dead ringer for John all wrapped up in a gorgeous package.”

  Noah raised a brow, not believing that’s how Robby put it. “Is that what he said?”

  “He said she could be a model.”

  “What she is, is your boss.”

  “Let’s hope she doesn’t go changing things.”

  Everyone who worked on the ranch worried about her coming in and throwing a wrench in the operation.

  Noah had the same concerns. She might own the lion’s share, but he and Annabelle still had a say. Noah wasn’t about to roll over and let her muck up what he’d worked damn hard to put in place here. The business ran on budget and made a more than decent profit.

  What the hell did she know about ranching anyway?

  He had no idea, which was why he’d give her the paperwork and keep her away from the horses.

  And he’d watch every move she made.

  Everything, including Noah’s life, felt like it was on hold, waiting for her return.

  Noah scanned the ranc
h and surrounding land. The sun dipped lower, about to reach the crest of the hills. Once it fell behind them, it would be dark in no time. He turned his attention back to the main house and driveway. No car. No Roxy.

  Noah dismounted and walked his horse into the barn behind Harry and Houdini. An hour spent unsaddling his horse, brushing him down, feeding and checking all the horses in the stables helped work out his tight muscles.

  He could think of another way to work off some stress, but the only woman on his mind and invading his dreams he barely knew and needed to stay in the strictly hands-off column if they were going to find a way to live and work together.

  If she showed up.

  He headed up to the house for dinner and to do what he’d been doing every day since Roxy left—waiting for her to come back.

  Noah went in through the side door to check the messages on the office phone. He settled into John’s chair behind the desk. A wave of grief hit him. He tried to keep busy these last few days, but at moments like this, when things were quiet, he missed John. He missed going over the accounts, talking about how training the horses went, discussing decisions that needed to be made. When Noah allowed himself to think about the last few months, he realized John had slowly been giving up control and letting Noah handle things. It had been subtle. John didn’t want Noah to know the end was near, but John knew what was coming and slowly stepped back and let Noah take the lead.

  The phone rang, bringing him out of his thoughts.

  “Speckled Horse Ranch. Noah.”

  “Hey, it’s Tom. Is Roxy there?”

  Noah glanced out the window at the darkening sky. “Not yet. Have you heard from her?”

  “Not a word. I tried to call her before I called you, but got her voice mail. Maybe she’s on the way.”

  “I hope so. Give me her number. I’ll call her.”

  “I’ll keep trying. If she’s not back by midnight, she forfeits everything.”

  Code for Tom refused to be lenient after the way she’d introduced her knee to his balls.

  “With what she got, she doesn’t need the horse ranch.”

  That got Noah’s attention. “What do you mean by that?” No money had been taken out of the ranch or house accounts. So what had John owned and given to her that Noah didn’t know about? Some secret account? He didn’t see how when he saw all the balance sheets for the ranch.

  “Nothing. I’m not supposed to talk about it. Listen, let me know when she arrives. You never know, maybe she won’t show. A woman like her, she can’t be trusted to do the right thing.”

  “What the hell does that mean?”

  “Nothing. Forget I said it.”

  As if he could.

  Noah liked Tom’s father, who had a long history with John and the ranch. He’d been skeptical when Tom took over this past year, and Noah’s trust in the attorney eroded with every slip of Tom’s loose tongue about Roxy’s secret leaking out. As much as Noah wanted to know what John left Roxy, if this kept up, Noah would have no choice but to fire Tom.

  “Call me when she gets there so I know she fulfilled the terms.” Tom nearly tripped over all those words and hung up, leaving Noah more confused and without Roxy’s number yet again.

  Based on the conversation Annabelle told him about, Roxy agreed to move for her sake. The inheritance was a nice bonus, but Annabelle and Lisa’s relationship sparked some kind of protective instinct in Roxy. The comments she made about her own mother, the way she’d stood up to Lisa and called her on her shit straight-out spoke of a woman who’d had to deal with something very similar. Roxy wanted something better for Annabelle. If that meant uprooting her entire life and moving to the ranch to make it happen, she had the guts to do it.

  Roxy knew he and Annabelle were raised as brother and sister, they’d stand together.

  She was the outsider.

  Still, she agreed to come.

  So why the hell wasn’t she here yet?

  Unable to solve the Roxy puzzle, he rose and followed his nose to the kitchen and the smell of melted cheese, peppers, and spices that made his stomach grumble. Noah walked into the kitchen just as Mary pulled a casserole out of the oven. His empty stomach rumbled again. Mary laughed and set the hot dish on the stove to cool before she put it on the table.

  Mary glanced at his face, reading him like a book. “Don’t worry, she’ll be here.”

  He intentionally misunderstood her. “I thought Annabelle was upstairs in her room.”

  Mary frowned and shook her head, not believing him for a second. “You know who I’m talking about.”

  “Is the room ready?”

  “I cleaned and moved all your father’s clothes to a guest room. I thought she might like to go through them.”

  “Why?” Noah asked, wondering what a woman would want with men’s clothes.

  “Well, she wanted his hat. Who’s to say she doesn’t want something else?”

  “I still don’t get the hat thing.” Noah washed his hands and arms at the sink for dinner. He should probably go upstairs, shower, and change out of his dusty clothes, but he was too hungry to take the time.

  “It means something to her. Why wouldn’t you want her to have it?”

  “It’s not that. I just don’t understand why she wants it.”

  “Ask her.”

  He shrugged and wiped his hands on a towel, stole a tomato from the salad Mary took out of the fridge, and popped it into his mouth. “I would if she were here, but she’s not,” he grumbled.

  “I left the hat on the dresser for her. The new mattresses arrived yesterday. They’re on the bed, but I’ll have to get her some new sheets and a spread more suited for her. I hoped to do so today, but I never got a chance to head into town. Truthfully, I’m not sure what she’d like.”

  “Let her get whatever she wants.” Just thinking about her laid out on a bed, naked, set his system on fire. All that golden skin, those curves, against crisp white sheets.

  Stop thinking about her like that. She’s your partner.

  He needed to keep reminding himself.

  “Don’t we have anything to put on the bed tonight?” he asked.

  “We do, but it’s all pretty ugly. The last person to buy bedding for the rooms was Lisa.”

  “No wonder none of us likes our rooms.”

  “Why didn’t you say anything?” Mary gave him a nudge in the belly with her elbow.

  “It’s not high on my priority list. Annabelle’s is the worst.” Noah gave a shiver at the thought of sleeping in all the pink ruffles.

  Mary laughed. “It is pretty bad. She’s not a pink and frilly kind of girl. I guess I should have done something about it before now.”

  “Not your job. You’re busy enough keeping us fed and the house clean. Maybe next weekend I’ll take Annabelle shopping and we’ll both fix up our rooms. Something new to start this next part of our lives.”

  “She’d like that.” Mary handed him the oven mitts and picked up the salad and basket of fragrant garlic bread. “Grab the casserole and bring it in. Call your sister to the table. Robby will be here any minute and we’ll eat.” She pushed the kitchen door open with her plump rump, went through the door, and looked back at him over her shoulder. “She’ll be here,” she said again.

  Noah laughed. Not much got past Mary. Either that, or he was that transparent. He hoped she only guessed he was worried for Annabelle’s sake. If she had any idea about the dreams that kept him up at night, he’d never be able to eat dinner across from her again.

  As worried as he was about Roxy, Annabelle’s silence worried him more.

  She and Robby joined them at the table moments after Mary finished setting out the food. No one spoke as they passed the dishes.

  Annabelle moved her food around her plate, but didn’t really eat. Her pale skin and the dark circles under her eyes told him he wasn’t the only one not sleeping.

  “What did you do today, Sprite?”

  “Nothing.”

  “I th
ought you’d have some friends over, maybe go riding for a while.”

  She shrugged, speared a cucumber, and dragged it though the creamy dressing, but never ate it.

  “I know you miss John, but you can’t close yourself up in this house. You need to get out, do the things you like, live your life. It’s what John would want.”

  Her gaze shot up to his. “Why isn’t she here?” Annabelle slammed her hands on the table and made her plate jump. “She said she’d be here.”

  “And she will,” he assured her.

  If Roxy made a liar out of him, he’d kill her. Annabelle needed reassurance. He never realized how much.

  Annabelle’s eyes glassed over. “If she doesn’t show up, will my mother take me from you?”

  Noah leaned forward and put his hand over hers on the table. “She can try, but I’ll never let that happen.”

  Annabelle rose from her seat and turned to go back to her room, but not before he saw the tears slipping down her cheeks.

  “All you can do is reassure her,” Mary said.

  “It doesn’t do me any good. Roxy made it clear that she’d stand with me between Annabelle and her mother. Where the hell is she?” He slammed his hand down on the table and the dishes rattled again. He never realized how much alike he and Annabelle were when they were mad. It made him smile.

  Robby pointed his fork at Noah. “The girl had to pick up and move her entire life in a week. Think about what it would take if you had to do the same.”

  Those words echoed his own thoughts. “Yeah, well, she can only leave the ranch for five days a month.”

  “John put a short leash on her. Makes you wonder what he was thinking.” Robby looked to Noah for answers only John knew.

  Noah glanced at his watch, John’s watch, and noted the time. “She’s got less than five hours to get her ass through the door.”

  “It’s a real fine ass,” Robby acknowledged and saluted him with his glass of milk.

  Unable to help himself, Noah laughed, picked up his iced tea, and clinked it with Robby’s glass. “I’ll second that.”

  “Men.” Mary rolled her eyes and stacked plates. “The girl’s got a pretty face, but . . .”