Dirty Little Secret

by Jennifer Ryan

  “You set this up?”

  “It’s my job to take care of her. That includes nurturing her interests.”

  “Who helped you with your interests?”

  “Joe taught me about the horses, helped me find people to talk to about training them. Big Mama—she’s the Madam at the Ranch—watched out for me. She got me through the awkward teenage years and made sure I went to college, though I was headed in that direction already.”

  “A ranch hand and a Madam,” Noah said, shaking his head.

  “It wasn’t an ideal childhood,” she admitted.

  “No. Because John left you. I had the childhood you deserved, while you were sleeping alone.”

  She smiled. “It really bothers you that I grew up without parents.”

  “Annabelle is fifteen. I look at her and think of you.”

  “Noah, don’t compare me to Annabelle. I was never like her at fifteen. She’s got friends and shopping and having fun on the brain. I lived in a small town where everyone knew who worked at the Wild Rose because it was the most prosperous business in town. By the time I hit high school, everyone knew about my mom. Teens can be cruel. Especially boys who only want one thing and could care less about your feelings, because, hey, you’re just like your mom and not worth getting to know. Not really. I learned to keep my head in my books and spent my free time with my horses. My fun was going to rodeos and winning championships. Through it all, I had my sisters.”

  “I saw you ride,” Noah admitted. “John loved to watch the barrel racing competitions. Inevitably, we’d hear about the Wild Rose Ranch girls competing. You guys only ever used your first names.”

  “People know the Cordero name,” Roxy pointed out. “I didn’t want to call attention to John’s and my relationship any more than he did.”

  “I always thought John wanted to see the pretty girls. He really wanted to see you,” he finished with a grin. “He was proud of you. It thrilled him to watch you ride and win.”

  “On his horses,” she added. “I saw you, too.”

  Noah frowned. “And kept your distance, so nothing would tarnish John’s family or business.”

  She steered the conversation back to horses. Nothing they rehashed would change the past. “In one of the rare conversations I had with Dad, he told me how impressed he was that I trained the difficult horses he’d sent to me. He said I had a knack for seeing what a horse was capable of and willing to do.”

  “You turned Houdini’s tendency for escape and freedom into something controlled and deliberate. It’s not easy to teach a wild-at-heart horse to run a course in a purposeful way. You’ve got a real talent.”

  Overwhelmed by his praise, her heart did a flip-flop in her chest. She had a hard time meeting his steady gaze. “Thank you.” Heat rose up her face and ears.

  Noah squeezed her hand. “You haven’t received very many compliments, have you?”

  “Not ones that were sincere.”

  Noah stopped and tugged her arm so she came around to him. He cupped her cheek in his free hand and stared down at her. “All I want to do is make you smile.” He leaned down and kissed her on the forehead. “I want you to be happy here.”

  She stared up into his sincere eyes. “It’s getting better by the minute.”

  Noah closed the distance like a bee drawn to a flower. His lips settled over hers in a soft kiss that demanded nothing and promised everything. He ended it before the heat rose to an all-out fire, pressed his forehead to hers, and stared into her eyes. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

  “Me, too.” She wanted to spend the day doing nothing but hanging out with Noah. “But I have to get back to work.” She started toward the house, and Noah kept pace with her.

  “What do you do in there for hours upon hours?”

  “I have three jobs, you know?”

  “I hadn’t really thought about it,” Noah admitted. “This ranch, the Ranch, and what else keeps you up to all hours of the night?”

  Noah took her hand as they walked. It felt so natural, their fingers linked, bodies close.

  Roxy used her free hand to brush her hair away from her face. She sighed out some of her stress and met Noah’s inquisitive gaze. “In the morning through the afternoon until Annabelle gets home, I do my real job. I’m a designer for a company that supplies equipment to cable companies.”

  “Like TV cable boxes?” Noah asked.

  “No. The equipment the companies use to get the TV signal to your home. Transmitters and amplifiers and housings for the equipment. It’s a little complicated to explain. Anyway, a customer, a cable company, puts in a request for one of their systems. Some are small, maybe servicing a few square miles. Others are huge, servicing a town or a city. I take their request and draw a schematic of our equipment and how it’s placed along the fiber optic cable line. There’s a lot of calculations for loss over distance and . . .”

  “I get it. It’s complicated,” he said, smiling. “You like it.”

  “It’s interesting and every design is the same, but different. It’s like a puzzle to put all the equipment together, get the customer the best results I can, and keep the costs reasonable. I can do it from home, because all I need is email and my computer programs to do the work.”

  “What do you do after Annabelle gets home?”

  “Oh, um, I help her with her homework if she needs it and catch up on the ranch paperwork. I’m reworking the database you set up to run more efficiently. I’ve added some programs to automate some of the calculations you normally do manually. I’ve got the sales, bank stuff, and expenses populating a spreadsheet that will help when it comes time to do taxes.”

  “You’ve done all that in a week?”

  “I have a degree in computer science. I’m great with a computer and the horses, not so much with people.”

  “You’re doing great with me.” He gave her hand a squeeze and drew her closer.

  They walked along the path through the garden to the back patio by the family room and kitchen entrance. She stopped by the pond and stared at the water and lush plants and pretty flowers. “My being here has really complicated your life.”

  Noah tugged on her hand to get her to look at him. “It was getting boring anyway. I needed someone to shake things up,” he teased with a wide grin.

  She loved the way his eyes danced and he fell back into his good humor so easily after confronting his entire workforce and laying down the law.

  “I don’t think I’m quite what you had in mind.”

  His eyes turned serious. “Sometimes the unexpected is exactly what we’ve been looking for all along. We just didn’t know it.”

  “Noah . . .” She tried to back away, but he held her hand in his firm grip and prevented her from putting any more space between them.

  “You’re everything I didn’t know I needed in my life.”

  “You don’t need people talking about you behind your back. I appreciate what you said to the crew. I think things will be different here now. But soon the rumors running through town will turn into snubs directed at you and Annabelle. I’m used to it. I don’t really know anyone here anyway.”

  “We’ve lost some business, but people will come around when the truth gets out there. The guys will be talking about what happened here today.”

  Roxy bowed her head. “I’m sorry I’ve cost us customers.”

  “We’ll get by without them. I have a feeling with your training skills, we’ll have even more customers.”

  “You’re optimistic, but this is just the beginning, Noah. Whatever it is you think you feel for me will change once my past interferes in your life more than it already has.”

  “You’re wrong. If the people who have known me my whole life don’t accept my word and remember my reputation, then I don’t need them in my life.”

  “Those people think you have a hooker living under your roof and helping you raise your sister.”

  “You’re a good and decent person . . .”

>   “Who owns a notorious brothel. You want to know what I spend my nights doing? I’m on the phone with Big Mama, checking on the girls and the night’s receipts. I’m going over the books and the reservations, making sure the weekly testing on the women all came back clean. She runs the show, but I still oversee everything.”

  “Sell it. It’s obvious you don’t want to own it and you hate being a part of it.”

  “I can’t. John’s will states I have to hold on to it for five years.”

  Noah’s eyes narrowed. “Why would he do that?”

  “Because he knows I’m stubborn and it’ll take me that long to figure out that it’s an extremely lucrative business—and legal. Despite my personal feelings, I’d be stupid to sell it. He also knows I’d never jeopardize the women who work there by selling to someone who’s more interested in the profit than their well-being. Also, when the ranch has had some lean years, John used the money he made from the Wild Rose Ranch to keep this place afloat. Most of the money is sitting in an account, but I’ve checked the books and over the years, he’s had to make some sizable contributions to Speckled Horse Ranch to keep it going.”

  Noah swore. “I didn’t know that,” he admitted.

  “Why would you? He hasn’t used the money from there for several years. He saved it all for me. You’ve kept this place profitable for some time now. I think he wanted me to take some time and not make decisions based on emotion, but good business sense.”

  “I don’t know what to say. You’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. You can’t sell that place, yet you make an exceptional income from it even though you hate it. You live and work here, but everyone thinks you’re something you’re not. They’ll find out you own that place, will assume the worst, and never realize what an amazing businesswoman you are. Your life is so damn complex. Everything in it is complicated by that place and your mother. None of it has anything to do with you, not really, yet you’re the one responsible for that place, those women, and all you get for it is grief, accusations, and people’s scorn.”

  “Life is complicated, Noah. I do the best I can with the hand I’ve been dealt. All I’m saying is that if you get too close, some of the mud slung at me will inevitably land on you.”

  “I thought you were taking a breath. Instead, you’re pushing me away.”

  “I’m warning you about what’s to come.” With a deep sigh, she admitted, “This thing between us, I’ve never felt this way about anyone.”

  “Good. I’d hate to have to beat the competition to hell to have you.” That sexy, easy smile came to his face.

  She reached up and touched his lips with her fingertips. He kissed her fingers and took her hand and placed it on his cheek, leaning into her palm.

  “You’re not listening to me.” She frowned when his smile didn’t waver.

  “Sweetheart, I’ve heard every word you said. The thing is, you don’t get it.”

  “What?”

  “Nothing and no one is going to change my mind about you. Saturday night. You and me. Whitefall Hall. About three times a year, all the local ranchers and business owners get together for dinner and dancing. One of the organizers picks a local charity and the attendees make donations. I’ll wear a suit and you’ll wear a dress. I’ll get to see your outstanding legs.” He stepped back and scanned her from her feet to her face. “And maybe the rest of you,” he added with a wicked grin, his dimples making him all the more adorable.

  “So you think taking me to this dinner, showing up with the ‘whore,’ will be a fun date? We’ll eat and dance, and people will whisper and gossip about us all night. This is your plan to get me into bed?”

  “It’s my plan to show people that you’re just like everyone else. Well, you’re better looking than everyone else.”

  His warm, calloused hands swept down her arms and back up again. Inexplicably, their bodies moved closer, though Roxy couldn’t remember stepping forward. His touch did that to her, made her stop thinking and just feel.

  “My plan to get you into bed”—his voice dropped deep and low—“is to keep doing this.” His mouth brushed hers, tasting of his morning coffee and mint. “Until you’re begging me to make love to you.”

  She wanted him to take the kiss deeper, but he intended to leave her wanting and stepped back.

  “Diabolical.” She glared at his smug face.

  “Did you want something, sweetheart?”

  Two could play this game. “Nope. I’ve got work to do. I’ll think about Saturday.”

  Roxy turned to go inside, but she only got two steps away before Noah spun her around, cupped her face in his big hands, and planted his mouth over hers. That familiar zing zipped through her and she gave in to it, grabbing his waist and pulling him closer. God, he made her feel so wanted, the way he settled into her, took his time, and gave her everything she needed.

  They lost themselves in each other until someone cleared their throat to get their attention. Mary.

  Noah broke the kiss, but continued to hold her face and stare deep into her eyes. “Say yes.”

  “Yes,” she answered, unsure if she was saying yes to going to bed with him, or going to dinner. Didn’t matter. At the moment, she’d do anything to keep him and this feeling.

  “The thing starts at seven and dinner’s at eight. We’ll leave at six-thirty.”

  “’K.”

  “Your phone is ringing again,” he said, smiling.

  “Huh?”

  She fell right into his dancing eyes. She loved how playful and carefree he always seemed to be. She’d spent her whole life afraid to let go and have fun, fearing people would see her and say, See, she’s just like her mother.

  What did it really matter how she acted, or which impulses she gave in to, when they said it anyway?

  Why did she hold herself back for them when what she really wanted to do was follow Noah into pleasure and fun and delight in this wonderful feeling they shared with each other? She’d seen enough frivolous relationships between men and women to know this thing between them was special.

  Would it last?

  Not if she didn’t give of herself the way Noah did so easily. He didn’t have her baggage holding him back.

  Maybe it was time to set aside her reservations and stop wondering what everyone would think of her starting a relationship with him. Why did she care anyway when she wanted him this way? They weren’t looking for an hour or two of pleasure. She could see Noah as a husband and father.

  Dangerous ground. I’m getting ahead of myself.

  Wasn’t the fact that she did dream of what might be between them show that she did hope for a future filled with something more than the loneliness she’d lived with for too long?

  His mouth landed on hers again and she fell right back into the spell, where nothing but him and having him close mattered.

  He ended the kiss with a series of small nibbles at her lips. With a deep groan, he let her go, taking a step away. He grabbed her phone from the table where Mary left it and them alone. “You better get this. It might be important.” He glanced at the carton of yogurt Mary left her. “That’s not a proper meal.”

  The man thought to seduce her one second and take care of her the next. More than anything else he did or said, him wanting her to eat better, take better care of herself, did what all the kissing hadn’t. She gave up fighting the inevitable. She wanted him. She gave herself over to the need rising inside her. Not the one that wanted the physical release and utter satisfaction his body promised hers, but the temptation he offered in spending time with her, the friendship they were forging, and the caring he showed for her in the smallest of ways.

  She loved him, because in that one simple statement he’d shown her how much he cared for her. He’d had her right where he wanted her, ready to slide into his bed, but he didn’t push. In fact, he cared more about what she needed than what he wanted.

  “Roxy, are you okay?”

  Her phone stopped ringing. She couldn
’t do anything but stare up at him. So handsome and strong and kind and generous and amazingly sexy. She reached up and touched her fingers to his mouth and over his jaw, his beard rough against her skin. “You’re a really good guy.”

  “Uh . . . Thanks. You’re still going with me on Saturday,” he told her, not giving her an out.

  “Yes, I am. I’ll be the one in the dress that stops your heart.” She took her phone from Noah’s hand, grabbed the yogurt off the table, and headed into the house, smiling over her shoulder at the look of pain on Noah’s face as he watched her walk away.

  His, “Ah God, I’m a dead man,” made her laugh, but she kept walking straight to her office. She knew a thing or two about restraint and increasing the anticipation. They’d take the next few days to settle in and get to know each other better.

  Saturday night, she was going to knock him on his ass.

  She’d never wanted to impress a man. Even with her background, she wondered if she was up to seducing him.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Noah walked into the office and took a minute to study Roxy and Annabelle unnoticed. Annabelle sat on the sofa, a math book opened on the seat, her notebook propped on her knees as she wrote, her mouth drawn in a line of concentration. Roxy stared at her computer. Her right hand on the mouse, moving it and clicking. She stopped and grabbed her calculator, punched a long series of buttons, then used the mouse to click on something on the screen before she typed something in.

  “What are you two up to?” he asked, surprising both of them.

  “Algebra,” Annabelle answered.

  “Logarithms,” Roxy responded, punching more buttons on her calculator.

  “I’m glad I left the ranch books to you,” he said to Roxy.

  She looked up and cocked up one side of her mouth. “You’re not fooling anyone. You’ve got a degree in business as well as agriculture and animal science. You run this ranch with considerable skill and knowledge, which is why I can sit in here updating your spreadsheets while you’re out there running nearly ten thousand acres of horses, cattle, timber, hay, and wheat.”