Because of Lila

by Abbi Glines

  “If you love her then you aren’t doing a good job of showing her. That’s all I’m saying.” After the words had left his mouth, he turned and ran from the room and back up the stairs.

  “I don’t love her,” I said to no one. But I needed to say it. Get it out. “I don’t love anyone. Love isn’t for me.” I kept talking to the empty room.

  The image of Lila Kate standing at the funeral. Her soft tanned back so perfect and bare in the dress she was wearing it made my fingers itch to touch it. To feel it’s silky texture. If Eli Fucking Hardy had laid one hand on that back, I wouldn’t have been responsible for my actions. But he hadn’t. He’d been the good guy. He didn’t touch her body. He only held her hand.

  She’d seemed to need that support. I fought against the jealousy eating at me that I wasn’t the one there beside her. It was my choice that I wasn’t. I was suffering for her benefit.

  Footsteps on the stairs this time alerted me I was about to be interrupted yet again by a family member. I lay my head back and closed my eyes as I sighed with annoyance. “Can’t you all just leave me alone?” I growled in frustration as the next nosey ass member of my family entered the room.

  “I’ll just be a minute. I need to say something. Then I won’t bother you again,” Lila Kate’s voice had my head snapping back up. What the fuck was she doing here?

  She was dressed in a white sundress that showed too much of her skin. I soaked it in. The sight of her. All that perfect softness. Here in my house. Why?

  “Blaze said you were down here and I could come see you a moment. He was leaving to meet your parents for lunch at the club. I didn’t mean to bother you,” she paused and looked at the game on the television. “I see you’re busy watching something. I’ll be quick.”

  She walked over to me stopping only a few feet away. “I didn’t make a mistake. I knew what I was doing. I expected this of you. I didn’t expect anything more. I chose to go with you, sleep with you, allow myself to enjoy being with you. That was all on me. I will deal with the memories. The heartbreak. All of it because I asked for it. At first, I thought I was stupid. I cursed my bad decisions. But . . . I am thankful I did it. I let you hurt me. But we had a moment. I now know how that feels. How you . . . feel. I don’t regret it. I don’t regret you. I’ll move on. Go another way. I won’t ever bother you again. Life will return to the way it was before.” She stopped then and smiled. It was a sweet, sad smile. It made my fucking knees feel weak, and I was sitting down.

  “It was less than forty-eight hours, but it had been fun. Exciting. And I will always be glad I did it. Thank you, Cruz Kerrington,” she said as she closed the distance between us and bent down to press a kiss to my lips. “Goodbye,” she whispered against them. Then she stood up and walked toward the stairs.

  My lips were still tingling from the excitement of her touch. My body hummed from the scent of her body. Letting her go seemed impossible. I was off the sofa and behind her so quickly I didn’t have time to think this through. My hands grabbed her waist, and I pressed her up against the wall squeezing her under my touch. There were a million things I wanted to say. But I said none of them.

  I kissed her this time, and I did it right. No fucking peck on the lips. I claimed her mouth. Tasted her sweetness. Got drunk on the nectar that was Lila Kate. I’d craved this since I left her. I’d dreamed about it. Tried to get it out of my system with another woman. None of it worked. This was the only way to cure my craving.

  Her hands tangled in my hair and my hands moved up to feel the heaviness of her breasts. I laid my hand over her heart, and the pounding of it made my heart soar. I did this to her. She wanted it just like I did. We were like fucking explosives. There had never been another woman to make me react this way. Why couldn’t we just make it last longer? Enjoy it until it fizzled out.

  When her hands touched my chest and pushed me back firmly, I was dazed.

  “That’s enough,” she panted and slipped away from my body to free herself from where I’d pinned her.

  “We were just getting started,” I replied my own voice hoarse from lack of oxygen.

  She shook her head. “No, Cruz. My kiss was a goodbye. That kiss was closure.” While I was trying to wrap my head around what she’d just said she walked away. Left me there. Just like that. No tears. Nothing.

  Would I have felt better if she’d cried? I didn’t want to hurt her. I wanted to lock myself in a room with her and never leave again. But I didn’t want to hurt her.

  She’d shown me her emotions before. On Bourbon Street, I’d seen it. All of it. I knew that her heart was soft. That her tears flowed easily. So, that meant the woman that just walked out of here was one thing . . . what I had made her. She wasn’t cold. She was finished. I had shown her just how badly I could hurt her and she’d seen that I wasn’t worth it. She knew she deserved more.

  Her smell clung to my skin. My body ached from the loss of her in my arms. But more than that my soul knew I’d just pushed away the one thing that had ever woken it up. Shook it. I had lost the woman that had shown me what fire felt like.

  I sank onto the chair behind me. Buried my head in my hands. It was done. We’d had our small moment. I’d meant to show her how I was bad for her. How I would ruin her. I had been preserving us both. But in the end, I was the one that would be completely ruined.

  Lila Kate

  THE SPACE WAS perfect. It would grow with me. With my dance classes. I could see a future here. I had the money to start it. I’d buy this place, all the equipment, and start advertising. Sure, I’d wanted to find an adventure two weeks ago but now an adventure would always remind me of Cruz. He’d been my ultimate adventure.

  I had almost let his presence in this town run me out. When I admitted to myself I was looking at dance studios outside of Rosemary Beach because I was trying to avoid Cruz, I had begun my search here. It only made sense for me to start my first studio in a town where I knew everyone and move further out later to expand. I didn’t plan on staying here forever. But for now, it made sense. My need for adventure had been sucked out. It had been fleeting. I’d had a little too much adventure in one weeks’ time to last me a few years.

  The door opened behind me, and Ophelia Finlay stood there looking as glamourous as she always did. “I called you three times,” she told me as if I hadn’t seen the missed calls on my phone.

  “I’ve been busy,” I replied.

  She sighed loudly. “You won’t even consider it? I’d be an amazing roommate.”

  Ophelia had heard from her mother that I was buying a condo and starting my own dance studio. Word travels fast when your mothers are best friends. She was taking a “break” from college this year because she needed new direction or something of that nature. It was very Ophelia.

  “I wasn’t not considering it. I don’t doubt you’d be a good roommate. I just needed to make sure this was what I was going to do,” I turned in a circle looking at the building. “This is it though. This is the place.”

  Ophelia nodded. “It’ll make a good studio. Great location.”

  I pointed at the ceiling. “My apartment will be up there. I’m buying the building. I need to save money, and living where I work makes sense.”

  That got a frown. “You’re living here?”

  I nodded. “Yep.”

  “What’s it look like up there?”

  I shrugged. “A very large loft. Exposed beams, very open. Not really your kind of place.” Which is why I hadn’t answered her calls.

  “Will you have early classes?” she asked, still not looking pleased.

  “Eight in the morning,” I replied.

  Her determination to be my new roommate looked like it was fading fast. “Oh.”

  That’s what I thought. This would be my world. My work and my loft. I didn’t imagine that would appeal to anyone else.

  “Can I see it?” she asked hopefully.

  “Sure. Let’s go,” I replied. “This way.” I led the way to the back door t
hat was painted blue. I’d change that. It opened to the stairs that went up to the loft. There were exactly twenty-five stairs. When we reached the top, there was no door. I would work on that, too.

  The four thousand square foot area was almost completely open. The only privacy was a bathroom to the far left and the spiral staircase that led to yet another loft area that would be my bedroom. The kitchen was complete and all stainless steel. Even the countertops were stainless. It was all very industrial.

  “Is there a second bedroom?” she asked taking in the area.

  “No. The original owner was a single man. But if you’re really interested there is enough room. We can build walls to that back corner by the bathroom, and you’d have a sufficient size bedroom. We will have to share the bathroom though.”

  She studied it walking around and taking in the view over the business area of Rosemary. It was small and a quaint street with shops. The outside of all the shops were all very Southern coastal, and it felt comfortable. Very different from the area where we had lived as kids. Finally, she turned to me and smiled. “Let’s do it.”

  If this had been Phoenix Finlay, I would have said absolutely not. But Ophelia I could live with. Besides, the rental income would pay the utilities on this place. Business-wise it just made sense.

  “I’ll have Dad get some workers up here to get you a room put up as soon as I sign the paperwork on this place.”

  She was grinning brightly. “How long do you think that will be?”

  “Later this week.”

  She clapped her hands excitedly. “This is going to be so much fun!”

  I hoped so. “You want a job? Because I’ll need office help once I open the studio up.”

  “Sure! Why the hell not? Can we just take the rent out of my paycheck?”

  “That would be fine with me.”

  We talked some more before Ophelia left to tell her mother her plans. I went over and pulled myself up to sit on the bar in the kitchen. I could make a life here. It wasn’t in the wealthy part of Rosemary Beach where the big houses were and the club was located. It was right beside it, but it felt separate. I wasn’t leaving town but I was starting a new life in this town.

  My phone rang and echoed in the large empty space. I glanced at it. It was Eli. Smiling, I pressed answer. “Hello.”

  “How’s the place look?” he asked. I had told him I was coming to check it out today in a text message I’d sent him last night.

  “Perfect. I think it’s going to be perfect.”

  “Damn. I was hoping you’d think it sucked and come to Sea Breeze to shop around.” He was teasing but I knew that he’d also be pleased if that did happen.

  “You could always come to Rosemary Beach,” I replied.

  He was quiet for a moment. “Don’t tempt me.”

  I wondered if he would actually do that. Maybe a fresh start for him was what he needed. “I wouldn’t complain if you did,” I added

  He chuckled and added, “You’d be hard to say no to. But I have a job. Can’t just up and run away.”

  He had a point. “I know. Wanted to clarify if you needed an adventure I would be happy to be the beginning of yours.” I’d been teasing, but he had gone quiet.

  I chewed on my lip nervously. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that. We didn’t talk about that night much. I wasn’t sure if he remembered asking me if he was the beginning of my adventure. I waited for him to say something and worried the whole time he was silent.

  “I might consider it if we could have another go at sex on the beach. I think about it a lot. Wish to God I hadn’t been so damn drunk.”

  After Cruz, I wasn’t ready for sex with anyone. I wanted to be one day. But for now, I just couldn’t. In one week, I’d had sex with two different men. That had been one hell of an adventure.

  “One day. If the time is right,” I said softly while images of Cruz and the things we’d done played in my head. My heart ached along with them.

  “I don’t want to just be the beginning of your adventure Lila. I want to be the end.”

  Cruz Kerrington

  MY HEAD WAS fucked. I was at work doing what my father had asked me to do. Not because he’d asked but because I was so damn fucked in the head I needed something to distract me. And other women’s vaginas weren’t working.

  “Cruz, you look so much like your father at that age I had a flashback. I was a waitress again and there was the boss. You’re all dressed up in your Kerrington Club polo. I know Woods is proud to have you here with him,” Blaire Finlay said as she walked into the dining room with my mother and Harlow Carter, Lila’s mother.

  “He’s his father’s twin. In everything including attitude,” my mother said with a smile.

  “Don’t tell him you said that,” I drawled knowing he wouldn’t want to hear that I acted like him at all.

  Blaire laughed, and the three of them walked past me. My mother paused to squeeze my arm gently. Harlow was quiet. She didn’t talk loudly like the others or draw attention to herself. She was proper, beautiful, looked nothing even close to her age, and all I could see was Lila Kate twenty years from now. The man that caught her would be one lucky son of a bitch.

  Annoyed at my train of thought, I walked down the hall toward my father’s office where I’d been headed when those three had arrived. I used to love coming to this office. It meant I got to see my dad. He’d set me up on his desk and let me play with the small golf toy that was on it. I’d watch the flat screen on his wall and observe him as he worked. I wanted to be just like him.

  My, how times had changed.

  The door to Dad’s office opened and he stepped out before I reached him. His gaze immediately locked on me. “Good. You’re on time. I’m having a lunch meeting with Captain—you remember Blaire Finlay’s brother—and his daughter Emmeline is with him. She’s being groomed to take over the restaurant franchise here in Rosemary Beach. I think having you there will make her feel more comfortable since you’re closer in age.”

  Lunch meeting. Fan-fucking-tastic. “I know Emmeline, and she goes by Emmy. Or at least she did two years ago when I spoke to her at an event held here for something or another.”

  Dad nodded. “Good. Franny, Captain’s oldest daughter oversees the franchises in Alabama and Tennessee. Emmeline is being trained to take over the Florida and Georgia franchises. She won’t be ready until she graduates college, but Captain starts them young preparing them. Like I should have done with you. Smart businessman.” Dad said as he kept walking expecting me to keep up.

  “Are we eating here?” I asked hoping the answer was no. I wasn’t in the mood to deal with the crowd in there.

  “No. Captain’s place.”

  “Why are we meeting with him exactly?”

  “Because we need another restaurant at the club. The poolside grill and the main dining room aren’t enough. Not anymore. It’s time we expanded.”

  “So you’re going to put one of Captain’s restaurants in the club?”

  “Possibly. It sounds like a good idea. We will see what plays out.”

  Dad’s new Dodge Ram was parked out front and a valet had it already started for us. We climbed in and headed off the club property toward the business part of Rosemary Beach where the stores, eating, shopping and touristy shit was located. I didn’t say much, just watched the town pass by. Wondered about Lila Kate because that was my new habit I couldn’t shake.

  “Talked to Lila Kate lately?” Dad asked as if he could read my mind.

  I shook my head no.

  “Then you don’t know about her buying that place,” he said, and my ears perked up.

  “What?”

  Dad stopped at one of the three traffic lights in town and pointed to a two-story storefront at the corner of the main street. “That one right there on the end. Grant said she bought it. She’s opening a dance studio.”

  I studied the coastal pale blue building. Large windows lined the bottom floor and the second floor had the hurricane shutters
that were so damn popular around here. “That can’t be cheap,” I said wondering what the hell she was thinking.

  “It wasn’t. But she has a trust fund from Kiro. She’s got a good business head. Instead of living off the money she’s using it to make more. To build something.”

  I could hear the admiration in his tone. I knew she was fucking special. He didn’t have to nail that point home. I got it. That was why I pushed her away. It had worked too well.

  Dad pulled the truck into the front of Captain’s place in Rosemary Beach, and I climbed out still looking back at the place that was now Lila’s. She wasn’t leaving town. That felt good. Like I could take a deep breath. Not that where she lived mattered, but I wanted her here. As fucked up as that was.

  “Listen, pay attention, and be polite. Talk to Emmeline. Don’t act like an ass.”

  I smirked. “When have I ever been an ass to a female?”

  “Numerous times, Cruz. Numerous.”

  Scowling, I followed him inside and the smell of seafood hit me. I hadn’t been here in a long time, but it was good food. I should get out more often. Wouldn’t hurt me to come into this part of town.

  “Woods, Cruz, good to see both of you,” Captain Kipling said as he shook dad’s hand then mine. “When did you turn into a man?” he joked then slapped me on the back.

  Emmy walked up beside him and smiled at me. It wasn’t the kind of polite business smile I was expecting either. She was older and in the past two years she’d matured. She also knew it. Her long blonde hair and bright green eyes were a striking combination against the sun-kissed tan of her skin.

  “Hello, Cruz,” her eyes sparkled with mischief as she said my name.

  “Emmy,” I replied with a nod. “Good to see you.”

  “While y’all get seated I’ll take Cruz with me to get the laptop you