The Secret Pleasures of an Earl: (The Valiant Love Regency Romance) (A Historical Romance Book)

by Deborah Wilson

  Then he’d spoken, said his name, and the parts of Pia that had yet to grow numb from the weather froze. His voice was rough on her ears, as though his throat had been stripped and shredded on the inside, taking away any softness it may have once contained.

  She felt his eyes on her before he drew near enough to touch.

  Tobacco and something darker clung to his clothes. It was a warming scent and even in the chilly air, she liked it.

  She thought he’d go away, but why she’d assumed something like that she didn’t know. Sirius had been a terrible person. Rude, insolent, and he seemed to draw the most pleasure at the misery of everyone else.

  She’d been overjoyed when he’d left Chester nearly thirteen years ago. She’d gathered through rumors that he’d met and married some unfortunate heiress. They’d had two daughters together but then the woman had died, and Sirius disappeared again.

  There had been a rumor that he’d lost what money he’d gained from his wife, but when he’d moved to London, the gossip changed. Somehow, the Earl of Gordie’s second son had become a responsible member of Society and held a prominent position at one of England’s finest banks. Pia had never taken the claims seriously. Once you knew a man, you knew him, she’d decided, so she set up her life in a way so their paths never crossed.

  Until today.

  How was it possible that the one man she’d planned to avoid in Chester would be the one to try and rescue her just a short distance from town? She was very surprised he’d not walked away at her first refusal or her second.

  Why was he was so determined to see her to his carriage? Most gentlemen only pretended to be chivalrous, but it seemed that Sirius was not one of them.

  “Look at me.”

  Her heart stopped.

  “My lord, please,” the driver said. “I will see after the woman. Do not bother—”

  “Do not speak again,” Sirius threatened.

  Shuffling feet moved quickly in the other direction.

  Pia wrapped her arms around herself.

  Sirius’ jacket brushed the arm of her thin coat as he neared. His voice was low. “If I leave you out here by yourself, that man is likely to take advantage of you.”

  “I can take care of myself,” she whispered. She kept a short blade in her pocket at all times. A beau of her Aunt Melody’s had taught her how to use it. She’d never had to use it before.

  “Come with me,” Sirius urged. “I will get you home safely. You have nothing to fear from me. Lady Sotton will vouch for your virtue during our short ride.”

  Pia groaned. “My lord, I have already told you that I do not wish to—”

  His hand went under her chin, and Pia’s head lifted before she could stop him.

  Dark coat, black cravat, square jaw with a slight shadow, a broad nose, and…

  Her heart stopped.

  Those eyes.

  Ocean waves lapping over shimmering sands and a dark center that pulled her in. She was drowning in memories. The past fought her present, and the conflict took over her mind’s eye.

  Adam.

  She opened her mouth and then closed her eyes. “No.” Not Adam. It wasn’t Adam.

  Sirius tapped her chin, and her eyes shot open again. His gaze narrowed. “Pia.”

  She took in the rest of Sirius. His high cheekbones and dark hair. The hair wasn’t Adam’s at all. The black locks were brutally slicked back without a hint of a wave. It was not the most fashionable style, but Pia was left with nothing else but to admit that the man who stood before her was handsome and a far cry from the portly boy he’d been before.

  Thirteen years had changed him… in appearance at least.

  “Sirius.” She hoped her voice made it clear just how unhappy she was to see him.

  He grunted. His gaze narrowed further. He didn’t seem happy to see her either. “Why are you traveling by mail coach and not your father’s personal carriage?” He still had her chin in his grip, so she backed away.

  “That is none of your concern. Now, as I said before, I am more than happy to wait until help arrives and the coach is fixed. You may go.”

  He grunted again and, without saying another word, he grabbed her arm and started toward his carriage.

  Pia gasped as she felt herself being dragged. “How dare you?” She dug her feet in the frozen grass. “Unhand me. I will not get into that carriage with you, do you understand?”

  If he did understand, he said nothing else. When they stopped in front of his carriage, he let her go and she stood her ground.

  She was not getting in.

  His gaze was uncompromising. “Would you cease this petulance and get into the carriage? Lady Sotton would likely enjoy getting home before night falls upon us.”

  Outrage nearly had Pia stuttering. “Petulance? Me? You’re the one behaving like a child. I have already told you—”

  He crowded her and Pia shot back. Her feet were climbing the steps into the carriage before she knew what she was doing.

  But he didn’t stop coming.

  A dark look over him. His expression was craggy as he backed her into a seat in the corner of the carriage. One hand landed on the seat beside her shoulder and the other on the wall by her head.

  Pia fought to breathe as she took in the anger in his eyes.

  “Are we done?”

  She said nothing and didn’t breathe again until he fell into his seat.

  Pia’s muscles relaxed and then relaxed further when she felt the presence of a hot brick underneath her feet.

  Sirius, unceremoniously, threw a blanket at her.

  She opened her mouth to say something, but he turned away and pulled out a book, effectively ending the conversation and shutting her out.

  Pia pressed her lips together and glared. Then she looked at the passenger at her side.

  Lady Sotton was already asleep, snuggled underneath a blanket of her own. Her expression showed contentment.

  The seats in Sirius’ carriage were softer, but that didn’t mean she forgave him for forcing her against her wishes.

  She turned away from him and decided it best to ignore his presence entirely.

  The plan worked until she realized that she had to tell him where she was going. He’d already assumed she was on good terms with her family. The absolute worst thing he could do was take her to her father’s house.

  ∫ ∫ ∫

  0 5

  * * *

  Pia looked over at Sirius and again, it struck her, the difference in his appearance. All traces of the soft fool were gone, but she saw none of the rectitude that everyone seemed to go on about. Instead, an intense darkness seemed to consume him and as she continued to watch him, it only grew worse. His brows furrowed, and his mouth firmed up.

  It dawned on her that he’d said nothing about their previous engagement. Perhaps, he’d forgotten about it. Or perhaps he hadn’t and simply wished to have nothing to do with her once they were in Chester. That thought lifted her spirits.

  “You can leave me at the village inn upon our arrival,” she said.

  “No, I’m taking you to Freylor.” Sirius’ eyes remained on his book. Where outside, he’d done nothing but harass her, now he didn’t even glance her way when she spoke.

  How indecent. “I do not wish to go to my father’s house. I have not come to see him.”

  “Well, you’ll be seeing him now.” He turned the page in the book. An ungloved finger scrolled down a column in the page. There were numbers on the pages. She wondered what he was doing.

  “But I don’t want to see him.”

  “That’s none of my concern.”

  She straightened. “I was—”

  He turned his head and glared at her. Then he placed a finger over his lip before pointing at Lady Sotton.

  Pia had been raising her voice. His thoughtfulness at the older woman’s comfort irritated her, especially since he seemed to have no thought for her wants in the least.

  Pia lowered her voice. “My lord,
I did not wish to get into the carriage, but I did. Now, you will take me where I wish to go.”

  “And that’s the inn?” He lifted a brow. The expression made him quite striking.

  She frowned, her anger at him growing by the second. She wanted out of the carriage and away from him. “Yes, the inn.”

  He turned his body and planted his booted feet on either side of her legs. Why was he so large? Sirius had never been so tall. So broad in shoulder and tapered at the waist. His thighs had never been as solid or thick as columns. Between them and the swell of his arms, she was reminded of Samson from the Bible.

  Though this man would fall prey to no one, especially not a woman.

  “I’m not taking you to an inn. You are traveling alone, without chaperone or companion. The safest place for you is in a man’s keeping.”

  She shivered and she clenched the blanket in her hands. The reaction had not been repulsion at his words. Would she have to tell him where she was truly going then? “I’m staying with Lady Gillian at her sister’s house. She has male servants. I’ll be perfectly well if you take me there.”

  He frowned. “Why are you visiting Lady Gillian?”

  “What relevance does it have to this conversation?” she asked.

  He leaned back. When his legs nearly brushed hers she pulled away. He crossed his arms. “You can tell me why you wish to go visit Lady Gillian or I can take you to your father.”

  Blast the man! “I’m going to see Gillian because she is one of my dearest friends. Her husband just died. I was unable to be with her during Lord Tobias’ burial, but I plan to be with her now through winter. So, will you take me to her sister’s or not?”

  Sirius stared at her and sighed. “No.” Before she could protect he said, “I’ll take you to where Gillian is staying instead.”

  “She left her sister’s?” Pia hadn’t been informed. Gillian’s last letter had come to her some time ago, but certainly her friend would have told her if she’d made other arrangements. “Where is she now?”

  “At the Gordie Estate.”

  The estate. Gillian had always hated it there. It had been years since Pia had seen it, even more since she’d been inside. Sirius and Tobias had lived there. It was reason enough to never go.

  She looked at the man across from her and a terrible thought came to her. “Where are you staying, my lord?”

  “My home, Lady Pia.”

  She stiffened. Why did he insist on saying her name as he did? As though he were rolling each letter around in his mouth, feeling it before it was spoken. “You mean, you reside at the estate?”

  “I am the earl, am I not?” His eyes continually snared her, so Pia looked away, in need of a moment to think.

  “We both can’t stay there.”

  “Why not?” he asked. “Gillian is there. You are her friend and you have come to visit. Honestly, I’ll rarely see either of you. I don’t usually leave my wing of the house. If anyone has need of me, they come. Otherwise, there are two dozen servants anxious to attend you.”

  Two dozen servants? It was little wonder why Gillian had decided to move back to the estate. She had three daughters. She would need all the help she could get.

  “I’ll take you there first,” Sirius said. “Then I’ll take Lady Sotton home and return. That way, she will be able to say we did not share the carriage alone at any point. We wouldn’t want your reputation soiled.”

  She scoffed. “I am a widow, not a young girl who needs the permission of her father to do as she pleases.” Neither did she need the permission of an earl.

  “Very well,” Sirius said. “We’ll take Lady Sotton home first.”

  Too late, she realized her anger had gotten the best of her but to not seem ‘petulant’ she remained quiet the remainder of the ride.

  Upon their arrival at Lady Sotton’s home, Sirius got out and insisted on helping the woman not only to the door but into the house. Pia could hear the woman’s continued praise with every step. The earl had gained an admirer.

  Then he returned, filling the carriage with his bulk and foreboding essence.

  She’d been watching him so closely that the door shutting behind him startled her.

  ∫ ∫ ∫

  0 6

  * * *

  Sirius watched Pia jump and had to hold back a grin. It reminded him of how they’d first met. He’d been up her aunt’s tree the girl had walked by, just under him. Even at the age of six, Sirius’ humor had been dark.

  As he’d jumped, he’d imagined frightening her. He’d wanted to, but the moment he’d landed, and those eyes had caught his… he’d regretted it.

  He’d felt like a fox who’d startled a rabbit. It hadn’t been fair; even still, the compulsion to protect her had been overwhelming. Why hadn’t anyone been watching her? Why had she been outside alone where anyone could get to her, frighten her, like himself?

  Once she’d calmed, he’d wiped her hair back from her face and had gotten a better look at her eyes.

  Violet.

  He’d known a thousand other woman and he’d never forgotten her eyes.

  He’d never seen anything like them. Not even her aunt’s eyes were so brilliant.

  As she stared at him now, he was hit by that compulsion again, to comfort her and tell her that everything was all right.

  They were emotions that only those close to him ever made him feel. His children, his mother, sometimes Belle.

  Seeing Pia again was unsettling. The day he’d left Chester was the last time he’d allowed himself to think about her. Over the years, she’d come back to haunt him. One night, he’d gotten drunk enough to write her a song. His friends still sang the tune, though aside from Cassius and Nick, the others had no idea who Pia was. They likely thought he’d made it up.

  The sight of anything pretty or soft brought her memory to mind, but he’d fought those thoughts back.

  For most of his life, she’d meant everything to him, second to his mother and even then, he’d wanted nothing more than to take her hand and run away from it all.

  Then she’d pushed him, shouting in distaste at their one and only kiss. The fear in her eyes and the shove had been so sudden that he’d stumbled and immediately everything had gone dark.

  He’d woken sometime later with the stars above his head and his mother shouting for him in the distance. When he’d touched his head, he found that he was bleeding. His mother had thought he’d die, but he hadn’t.

  Instead, he’d worked harder. He’d been a fighter since the age of ten. He’d worked so his mother wouldn’t have to depend on his father, so she wouldn’t have to share her body with the Earl of Gordie when she didn’t want to. It was the reason for the bruises Pia always found on him.

  He’d removed all traces of softness from himself so that when he left, the old him had been buried. The future he’d planned for himself had twisted into something else.

  He was something else.

  And she’d do best to keep her distance while in residence.

  Again, he asked himself why he simply hadn’t taken her to her father, but she’d seemed so determined that he’d wondered if the man had done her wrong at some point in the past. He hadn’t rescued her from one villain only to present her to another. He didn’t know Lord Freylor well. The man had only come over once since Sirius became earl.

  Their conversation had been short because Sirius had made certain it was short. It had been clear that the other man had wished to say something. He’d tried over and over again but in the end, he’d left.

  Why didn’t Pia wish to stay with her parents?

  It’s none of your concern. He was done saving women. He’d saved too many as it was.

  He could have let her stay at Gillian’s sister’s home, but what would be the difference in doing so when she’d only have to come to his home every day to see her friend anyway? He decided that he was allowing Pia to stay because it would be convenient for his brother’s widow.

  Pia turned away
and Sirius noticed how difficult it was for her to hold his eyes. He wondered at that. Was it because he was a man or because he was Sirius? He didn’t know much about Pia and Sirius’ past, but they’d both been in Chester when he’d left.

  He would have to inquire on that.

  Pia.

  Never in a hundred years had he thought he’d see her again.

  She unsettled him. Sirius did not like being unsettled. He thought that perhaps knowing her a little better would help alleviate any disturbance he felt at her presence.

  “You’re a widow?” he asked.

  She stiffened at the question. Why? “Yes, I am.”

  “I’m sorry to hear it.” It surprised him that he was. “How long ago did he die?”

  She sighed and looked out the window. “It’s been two years.”

  “How long were you married?”

  She turned to him. “Nine years.”

  He did the calculations in his head. “You married at eighteen.”

  She frowned. “You didn’t know?”

  Why would Sirius have known? “No. What was his name?”

  That question seemed to surprise her as well. “Lord John Ginter.”

  “So, you’re Lady Ginter now,” he said.

  She nodded stiffly.

  “Where are your children?”

  She looked down, and he saw sadness come over her. “We never… Can we speak of something else, please?”

  He didn’t want to talk about something else. He wanted her to answer his question. Where were her children?

  “Or better yet, we should not speak at all,” she said as she settled her head on the seat. “My head is beginning to ache.”

  He suspected she was lying, but he let the matter rest.

  “I’m sorry for your loss as well,” she said unexpectedly. “I heard that you lost your wife.”

  Sirius knew very little about the woman his brother had tricked into marrying him, only what his eldest daughter Adalina had been able to share. “Yes, she died of a bee sting. I barely let the girls out because of it. The gardens have all been set away from the house just in case.”