What Really Matters

by M. A. Innes

  That didn’t mean it felt right that he’d been keeping it to himself, though.

  “How long have you been curious about this stuff?” I needed better words. I sounded like a moron.

  He shrugged. “Um...I found the first book about a year ago, maybe? I thought it was just BDSM, but then it took a completely different turn than I was expecting. Taught me not to buy books when I didn’t understand all the acronyms in the blurb, let me tell you.”

  I had to laugh. I remembered the BDSM phase. He’d spent countless hours googling weird stuff and then going into excruciating detail about the things he’d found. We’d played around with some of it, but I’d gotten mixed signals from him on a few things and had backed off.

  Evidently, that had been the wrong decision.

  “I take it that’s when you started looking everything up online?”

  “Yep.”

  “But you liked it?”

  “Not at first.” He thought for a moment before he continued. “I read it, but it was confusing, so it took me a while to find another. Then it just kept getting bigger in my head. The more books I found about it, the more curious I was, so I went looking for real stuff online to see if the books were anything like what actual people did.”

  “Are they?” I’d only had time to look at a few things, but from what I’d seen it seemed close.

  “Some. It’s like everything else, some authors write closer to reality than others, but they’re all fun.” Knowing Zac, he’d read everything from the realistic ones to the crazy this wouldn’t happen in real life stories.

  The alien and shifter phases had made that very clear.

  And now that I thought about it, the fact that he’d identified with the omega wolves should have given me a bigger hint to ask more questions.

  For almost a month, the most common sentence in our house on the weekend had been, “Take that pillow out from under your shirt. I’m not taking you to the store like that.”

  Yep. I was going to start asking a lot more questions from now on.

  “Have you figured out the parts you’re interested in?” How far had his research gotten?

  I couldn’t remember him coming home with any odd things recently, but that didn’t mean much. Zac started drawing circles on my chest. “There’s nothing to be nervous about. I just want to understand.”

  He nodded slowly but kept up the slow patterns on my shirt. “Um...I bought a coloring book. And a binkie. They’re in a shoebox in the closet.”

  “Those ugly ones your mother bought you for Christmas?”

  He nodded, but when he spoke I could hear the smile in his voice. “Yes.”

  That made sense. Couldn’t throw them away but he hated wearing them, so they were always just shoved in the back and ignored. “When have you played with them?”

  “I haven’t. Work’s been crazy and, well...it felt like cheating on you.”

  He was so cute.

  “Would you like to use them later? See how it feels?” I had no idea how I’d feel about the whole thing, but I was willing to try. Coloring and a binkie didn’t sound too overwhelming.

  He froze and for a moment I wasn’t even sure he was breathing. “Zac?”

  Finally taking a breath, his head jerked, but I wasn’t sure if it was a nod or not. “I’m going to need a better answer than that. I can’t tell if you were agreeing with me or were bitten by a bug.”

  He laughed, the tension easing out of him. “Yes.”

  Better.

  “Okay, we’ll get them out later.” Rushing him into doing it now didn’t seem like the right idea. I thought we both needed time to process everything—or maybe only I did.

  There were probably other things that we should talk about, but at that moment, all I wanted to do was hold him and show him that nothing he’d told me changed the way I felt about him. I trailed my fingers lower on his back, stopping just above his ass, and I turned my head so I could kiss his neck. “Let’s go lie down.”

  The shiver that raced through him that time was clear desire, with a good bit of relief mixed in. He nodded, but instead of continuing to hide against me, he raised his face and pressed his lips to mine. He kept it sweet and tender, and when he pulled back he was smiling and I could see his love for me shining in his eyes. “That sounds perfect.”

  As he stepped back, I took his hand and led him through the house. Reaching the stairs, I wrapped my arm around him and urged him to go in front of me. Zac grinned wickedly. “You just want to watch my ass as I go up the stairs.”

  I shrugged, trying to look casual. “Of course, that’s the reason we bought a two-story house.”

  He laughed and there was a spring in his step as he sauntered up the stairs, making his ass swing in my face. “Be careful, or I might just take a bite out of that.”

  Looking over his shoulder, he gave me a wink. “Is that a threat or a promise? I can’t tell.”

  I reached out quickly and pinched his ass. He squealed, and I ended up chasing him the rest of the way up the stairs and into the bedroom. As he made it to the bed, I grabbed him and turned him over so I could pin him to the mattress.

  His chest was heaving, and with his body pinned I could feel how hard he was. I let my voice drop as I gently rubbed my groin against his. “Do you want to see my threat or my promise, you little tease?”

  Zac’s low, husky laugh went right to my dick. As he blinked up at me, he licked his lips, tempting me to get even closer. “Your promise. Show me how much you want me.”

  I wasn’t sure if he was feeling insecure in general or if he just needed the reassurance of how I felt, but whatever it was, I’d show him just how much I needed him. And just how much I loved him. Closing the final gap, I started at his neck where he was sensitive and the tiniest scrape of teeth could make him moan.

  Working him over slowly was my favorite way to make love to Zac, but I wasn’t sure either of us had the patience for that. Maybe it was just the way the emotion had built or the way helping him in the kitchen had taken a more erotic turn than I’d expected, but it was fine with me. I just wanted to wrap myself around him and make him feel like he was drowning in pleasure.

  Teasing scrapes of my teeth had him arching up into my chest. When I brought my hands to his shirt and started working it up his body, I let my tongue drag down his neck, making him moan. As the first inch of flesh started to show, I pushed the heat even higher.

  When I had it up to his arms so I could start playing with his nipples, I bit down on the tender area where his neck met his shoulder and he cried out. Sucking on it lightly, I kissed and worried at the skin. “It’s been a while since I marked you, hasn’t it? I think you’re going to have to wear collared shirts this week, little tease.”

  Zac groaned and shook his head, but his hands gripped my arms and pulled me closer. Chuckling low, I nodded and went back to his neck. He had a love-hate relationship with hickeys and marks. He felt a little like a teenager who had to hide what he was doing, but he also loved knowing I was there with him all the time. With his job, though, it had to be covered up.

  Once I knew he’d wear my mark for days, I switched to the nipples I’d started teasing. Roughly pulling his shirt off, I went right back to his nubs and started nibbling on them with my lips and teeth. My sexy love wasn’t the shy, quiet type, so the dirty sounds that poured out of him just got my cock harder and made it more impossible to wait.

  Flicking my tongue over his tips, I reached down to unbutton the jeans that made his ass look so incredible. He squirmed and moaned as I switched from one nipple to the other until I had to stop teasing them and straighten to get his pants off. “You’re wearing too many clothes.”

  Zac gasped out as I palmed his hard dick through the fabric. Unfortunately, I had to stop playing with him if I was going to get the zipper down without hurting him. When his pants were open, I roughly tugged them over his hips.

  He lifted his ass as his hard cock came into view, and the pants slipped to the
floor over his bare feet. As my hands slid up his legs, caressing over the fine hairs that covered the lean muscles, he finally started to beg. “Please...you’re taking too long...Hunter...please...”

  I wanted to take my time and make him beg, but the way my own cock was pressing against my zipper, it wasn’t an option. “Show me how much you want me. Play with your dick.”

  Zac moaned but wasn’t shy about grabbing onto his erection and giving me a show as I started stripping off my clothes. His eyes followed every movement even as his fingers tightened and his hand started going faster. As my shirt dropped to the floor, I shook my head. “Slow down, I want you to still be hard when I sink into you.”

  We were both flexible when it came to who topped, but we both knew what we wanted right then. He gave me a frustrated pout, but his hand loosened and he pulled back from his rush to come. To reward him for following directions, I unbuttoned my pants and pulled the zipper down.

  Once my cock was free, I hurriedly shoved my jeans and boxers down to the floor. Toeing off my socks, I leaned down and gave Zac a heated kiss. As I pulled back and started climbing up on the bed, he pushed back and moved to the center of the mattress.

  Grabbing the lube off the side table before I got too distracted, I tossed it beside him and stretched out over him. His legs spread, and I settled against him. Our cocks pressed together, making us both gasp out. Licking and slowly tasting my way down his body was still tempting, but the precum-slick erection that was jerking against mine was even more tempting.

  Dropping kisses down his chest, I made it clear where I was headed. Zac’s body seemed to sigh with relief when he realized I wasn’t going to stretch the torment out any longer. When I reached his cock, I bypassed it, spreading his legs wider so I could run my tongue over his balls and down to his needy hole.

  Zac moaned and pulled his legs up higher toward his chest, opening himself even more. This was the man I was used to seeing, the confident, demanding lover who knew what he wanted even when that was to submit. I was curious to see how it would translate into the age play he wanted to explore. Once he was more comfortable, I had a feeling if there were demanding brat littles, then I might end up with one on my hands.

  Focusing back on my squirming husband, I took a deep breath and kissed his thighs before going back to his hole. I loved the way he smelled, masculine without anything else covering up his scent. Sometimes he’d wear cologne, but the times when it was just him were my favorite. Trailing my tongue down his taint, a shiver raced through him and his entire body stiffened.

  So needy.

  So ready.

  I traced around the clenched ring of muscle and caressed over his hole while he started to wiggle and low begging sounds started to escape. Working at the muscles, I kissed and teased until he started to relax and the worries of our discussion had faded until all he wanted was to come.

  I reached over for the lube and carefully slicked my fingers as I continued to pleasure Zac. I didn’t want anything distracting him from the sensations running through him. When I finally moved back, he groaned and released the covers he’d been clenching to reach for my head.

  “Oh no.” Laughing, I brought one hand up to his hole and started circling it with my finger. “I have other plans for you.”

  He growled at me, a low frustrated sound that was more like a curse than plea, but he went back to grasping at the covers so I decided to reward him. Letting one finger press over his hole, I gently caressed it like I was going to continue taking my time.

  Zac’s body strained to get closer and beg for more. Instead of the teasing he expected, I pressed forward and sank one finger deep inside him. He made the most beautiful sound as I brushed over his prostate, and his entire body jerked like he wanted to fly right off the bed.

  As I started to slowly stretch him, his hips pushed down and his grip on the bed tightened so he was almost pulling the covers completely off. Chuckling, I let my finger pull almost out and added a second. He moaned, but his body knew what to do, and before long, he was thrusting his hips up and demanding more.

  “Fuck. Hunter. More.” He shook as I brushed over his prostate again, making every thought fly out of his head.

  “You want more?” I pulled my fingers out long enough to add more lube and then used three fingers to tease his entrance. “Do you want more fingers or something else?”

  I sank them in just enough to start stretching him, but he released the bed and grabbed on to my arms. “Damn it, Hunter. Fuck me.”

  “Such loving words.” Grinning, I took another minute and made sure he was ready before pulling out and spreading the lube over my cock. Sometimes we used condoms just because the cleanup was easier, but I wanted him to feel me and to have the full experience of being marked and owned.

  We both needed it.

  When I was ready, I stretched out over him and hooked my arms under his legs to keep him open for me. Bringing my lips to his as my cock barely pressed against his body, I kissed him tenderly, taking his mouth thoroughly. As my tongue caressed over his, my dick slid into him slowly, letting him get used to the feel.

  He gasped and moaned, trying to thrust up and force me to go faster. But he didn’t have enough leverage, and I wasn’t ready to let him rush me. It was too perfect. I loved the way his body shook and pulled at me, gripping me so tightly I wanted to come right then.

  When I was deep inside him, I pulled back from his lips and waited, sprinkling kisses over his face. His eyes opened, full of heat and need, and he clenched around my cock, sending fireworks through me.

  I wouldn’t last if he kept it up.

  His hands were gripping my biceps so tightly I knew I’d be able to see the marks later. But as they slowly relaxed, caressing up and down my arms, I knew he was ready for more. His head lifted as I started to move and he kissed me, mumbling a low, “I love you.”

  As I kissed him back, quietly telling him in broken phrases and words how much he meant to me and how special he was, I slowly thrust in and out. Making love to my beautiful husband, I pushed us both higher until he was shaking and I was fighting to hold back my orgasm. It was beating down on both of us, and with each thrust, his precum-slicked cock was rubbing against our abs and making him tighten around me like his orgasm was right there waiting to explode through him.

  When it was too much, and I knew I couldn’t fight the pleasure any longer, I pushed his legs up a little higher and started fucking him hard. I’d loved learning every little thing he craved and what made him fly and cry out with pleasure. There was something about loving someone long enough that you knew them inside and out that was just beautiful.

  As I nailed his prostate with each thrust, he started crying out nonsensical sounds and desperate pleas. He was almost there. Three...four...five...he exploded around me. His muscles clenched down so hard he dragged my orgasm along with his. As wave after wave of pleasure pounded over us, I shook and tried to keep going, wanting him to soar even higher.

  Zac finally collapsed down on the bed, spent and exhausted. Knowing he was done, I stopped fighting and just let everything go. As the pleasure started to fade, I stretched out over him and let his legs relax down on the mattress while I eased out of him.

  “I love you.” Leaning close, I whispered the words and kissed him tenderly.

  He smiled sweetly and wrapped his arms around me. “I love you too.”

  Rolling us to the side, I propped my head up on one hand and started slowly caressing him with the other. Over his tired face and down his neck and shoulders before going back up and repeating the slow circle. Zac yawned and snuggled close, almost asleep.

  “Let me clean you up, baby.” Smiling down at him as he grumbled and shook his head, I started to climb off the bed.

  “Soon...in a minute...yes...cake...” He was exhausted. The worry and uncertainty about how I would react had to have been weighing on him longer than he’d probably realized.

  “I’ll be right back, baby.” I gave him
one last slow stroke down his body as I stood and started for the bathroom. He might have been ready to let everything go and relax, but my brain had other plans as it started to whirl about everything I’d learned.

  Chapter 5

  Zac

  Waking up didn’t sound like a good idea, but when I realized I couldn’t remember going to sleep, I figured I needed to function. Rolling over, I pushed the blanket down that had been covering me, and it all came rushing back.

  Hunter knew.

  Hunter also hadn’t seemed horrified, and he’d made love to me. So I told myself it couldn’t be that bad of a reaction. Looking around the quiet room, I wasn’t sure where he was. We’d made love...he’d cleaned me up...I remembered a blanket going over me and...oh, something about going to get dinner.

  Chinese, probably.

  Even though they were just down the street, if we called for delivery it was always cold. Hunter had decided pretty quickly that he wasn’t going to pay delivery fees for Chinese food that had to be put in the microwave, so he always went to pick it up. Glancing around, I tried to remember where my phone was because I had no idea what time it was.

  Grumbling over stiff muscles and feeling slightly sticky, I climbed out of bed and headed for the bathroom. Shower first, then I’d figure everything else out. I turned on the water and caught my reflection out of the corner of my eye.

  What did Hunter see when he looked at me now?

  Was I still the same person to him?

  Would it be a bad thing if I wasn’t?

  His parents had given both of us a good example of how change wasn’t always bad. His mother went from being a homemaker when the kids were little to going back to work once they were all in college.

  She’d gone from baking cakes and helping with homework to working long hours at a law firm. Hunter’s dad had just laughed as he’d described it, saying she’d gone from bossing them around to bossing lawyers around for a big paycheck.