Lost in You

by Lexi Blake

  Because he couldn’t believe his men would betray him, and he might talk too much and too openly with them. “I understand. I don’t intend to let him find out what I’m doing.”

  “Watch all three of our suspects carefully. If you think for a second that things are going sideways, pull the plug,” Ian reiterated. “Robert’s mission is secondary to yours. He just doesn’t know it.”

  So she had to figure out how to bring a potential Agency plant into the family, figure out who the traitor was, help decide if there was anything at Kronberg worth going after, and keep her primary mission from the man who might be her lover.

  There was definitely a reason she’d gotten out of the business. “I’ll keep you up to date.”

  Ian suddenly smiled. “Please do because we’ve got a bet going.”

  She rolled her eyes. It was obvious the serious portion of the talk was over. “On what?”

  “How fast you end up married and joining the baby brigade.”

  She laughed because it wasn’t a terrible thought. “Well, I’m not getting any younger.”

  And babies were cute. She was in a place where she could raise a child surrounded by loved ones. She couldn’t pretend like she hadn’t thought about it.

  “Damn it. Theo was right. He bet you’ll be engaged before the end of this mission and pregnant before you actually get married. I should have taken the under. Could you do a guy a solid and use condoms for a couple of months?”

  He was incorrigible. She shook her head. “Good-bye, Ian.”

  “Does that mean no? Because Charlie hasn’t placed her bet yet…”

  She closed the laptop.

  The door opened and Robert stood there, a confused look on his face.

  “Were you talking to someone? Did Damon call in?” Robert asked.

  “Ian wanted to clarify a few things on my end of the job,” she replied. “Nothing important. He doesn’t always understand my professional wording in a file.”

  A smile brightened his face. “I’m sure he would prefer you simplify things. Instead of Dante shows the hallmarks of having several social disorders, Tag’s version? He’s an asshole.”

  “Yes, that’s definitely a clinical term we all use.” She stood up because she was done working for now. “Is there a bar on this plane?”

  “I was coming in to ask if you wanted a glass of wine.” He held the door open for her. He was always such a gentleman. He never failed to pull her chair out or offer to pour her a drink.

  At first she’d thought it might be a key to his past, but then Kay had told her Robert read books about how to treat a lady. He’d started shortly after he’d met her.

  God, she hated lying to him.

  “I would love one,” she replied.

  She followed him toward the galley and hoped it was the last time she would have to lie to him.

  Chapter Two

  “Hello.” A tall blond man stood beside a Mercedes van with a friendly smile. He’d been waiting inside the hangar they would leave the jet in while they were here in Germany. Owen had barely turned the plane off and opened the doors before he was introducing himself. “My name is Peter Bergman and I’ll be your host while you’re here in Munich. Welcome. We should get in the van as quickly as possible.”

  He gestured for them to hurry along. Peter Bergman wore a black suit and well-worn loafers. The blue of his tie stood out against the snowy white dress shirt he had on. He looked every inch the gracious chauffeur and tour guide.

  Robert wished he was here with Ariel on vacation.

  Tucker ignored their guide and walked to the edge of the hangar, looking out at the glorious Bavarian day. The colors here were vibrant, the sky bluer than blue and grass a vivid green. Tucker stood there for a moment, his body still, and it made Robert wonder what was going through his head.

  He didn’t get out much. Tucker was almost always in hiding. The first time he’d had some real freedom had been in Toronto. His part in the mission had been to work at the company their target also worked at. He’d been cooped up in a medical research building most of the time and then he’d found out that nasty piece of his past.

  He wanted to tell Tucker to run free for a while, to go and explore the city.

  But he couldn’t. “Time to get to the hotel, buddy.”

  Tucker nodded and shoved his duffel in the back of the van. “Yeah, we should get going. I bet Dante and Sasha already trashed the place.”

  “It would have been helpful if someone had warned me how much those two can drink,” Peter said, rearranging the luggage. “I’ve had to send out twice already. They claim they work better drunk. And don’t worry. There’s plenty of space. I checked myself that we would have enough rooms.”

  He didn’t like the thought of Ariel in a room by herself, but he couldn’t assume he would be staying with her. He would make sure they had adjoining rooms because he wasn’t about to leave her unprotected.

  Dante and Sasha had been sent earlier in the week to do preliminary recon on the building. He really hoped they’d been behaving themselves.

  He turned back and helped Ariel down the last few steps as Peter finished packing in their luggage.

  Rebecca stepped off the plane with Owen following after. He wouldn’t be putting the plane into storage himself, it seemed, since Peter was intent on getting them moving.

  “I’ve got a team coming in to ensure the jet is ready for you to fly out when you’re done,” Peter said, hurrying them along. “It will be waiting for you.”

  “Is there a problem?” Ariel asked.

  “I think I might have been followed, but I’m not sure.” Peter opened the door to the back seat. Tucker had climbed into the front. “I’m out of practice and perhaps a bit paranoid. I’ll feel better when we get back into the city.”

  Owen stopped Rebecca from getting into the van. “Maybe we should think about turning right around and heading back to London then. I only agreed to let Rebecca come because we thought it would be safe.”

  Robert’s gut tightened. They’d barely made it to the ground and someone was already watching them? “He didn’t say he was sure he was followed.”

  “Owen, I need to do this,” Rebecca argued. “Someone is always going to be watching us.”

  Owen’s jaw had tightened, but he let go of his girlfriend’s hand and then followed her to the third row of seating. It was obvious he wished she was back in her comfy lab at The Garden.

  Rebecca was right. Someone would always follow them, and that’s how it always would be until they figured a way out of the trap. He settled into the seat beside Ariel and Peter closed the doors. “Let’s get going then. Is there a back way out of this airport?”

  “I’ve got a good route,” Peter promised, hopping in the driver’s seat. “But I’d like to leave quickly just in case. Like I said, it’s probably nothing. I quit intelligence a few years back after my partner was killed by a rogue MI6 agent. I left Berlin and moved down here. The pace is much slower. There’s bottled waters by your seats and snacks if you care to partake. If we do get attacked, you’ll find Rugers and extra ammunition under the seat. There’s also some wonderful pamphlets on the history of Bavaria if you are interested. Buckle up.”

  Okay, the dude was a little weird and dedicated to his new job, but the guns were more than welcome. They could be hard to come by in Europe. In the States he could pick up a dozen like he was ordering donuts. Here, not so much. Peter would help them with that if it came to it.

  He reached over and took Ariel’s hand in his. “Don’t worry. I promise we won’t need those guns. It won’t be like Toronto. Have I thanked you lately for saving me?”

  “It was my pleasure,” she responded in that seductive tone that got his motor revving hard. “And it would be nice to keep this whole mission violence free. I actually wouldn’t mind doing some sight-seeing if we get the chance.”

  “I can show you all around the city,” Rebecca promised. “Well, I can show you the parts around t
he medical district. I have to admit I didn’t do a lot of touristy things while I was here.”

  “Workaholic,” Owen said under his breath.

  “It’s true,” Rebecca admitted. “But I do know some cafés in that part of town. There are tons of museums, and I’ve heard there’s even a palace.”

  “Yes,” Peter replied. “The Residenz is the largest palace in Germany. It was once home to the Bavarian royal family, the Wittelsbachs. Fascinating history. I can arrange a tour if it’s safe.”

  Tucker turned in his seat. “Seriously? I don’t ever get to see sites. I get to see conference rooms and computer screens, and the only parts of Bliss I got to see were parts where people almost murdered us and a bar where Jax got laid and I did not get laid.”

  “You should be happy about that since the woman you were potentially getting laid with turned out to be the boss’s ex-wife,” he pointed out as Peter started driving through the small airport. He seemed to be taking a circuitous route. “Somehow I don’t think Ezra would forgive you for that.”

  “I don’t know why. He’s not sleeping with her anymore. They’re divorced.” Tucker made it sound like a simple thing.

  “I think it’s all for the best that you and Solo didn’t work out,” Ariel said. “I believe you would have found her hard to handle.”

  “What’s your take on her?” He hadn’t asked Ariel her professional opinion. He’d been too busy trying to get his hands on her when she’d shown up in Toronto. After he’d gotten over being pissed she was there putting herself in danger, that is. “Ezra thinks she’s the devil. River thinks she’s misunderstood and only trying to get back her one true love. I can’t really trust either of them when it comes to Solo. Too many personal feelings.”

  Her eyes briefly looked away and she was right back in professional mode. “I think Kimberly Solomon is a long-term operative, but one who has the best interests of her country and the people around her in mind. She could be quite ruthless when she needs to be, but I think she would have a difficult time hurting someone she liked or believed innocent, even if it meant giving up her mission.”

  “Levi Green thinks he’s doing what’s best for his country, too.” Tucker sat back. “Every report I read talks about how he spouts patriotic bullshit right before he shoots one of my friends. I wonder if he writes that crap down.”

  “Oh, I got the same shite when he was trying to convince my Rebecca to go with him.” Owen’s Scottish accent had gone deeper, a sure sign he was emotional. “He should have been an actor.”

  “Or,” Peter said, taking a right on the highway, “he’s a true believer. That’s the worst, I’ve found. I worked with a couple of them. They genuinely believed anything they did was for the betterment of Germany. They’re ideologues. You can’t argue with them and you can’t bribe them because in their head, they’re right. My country was led by one once. Did not turn out well. Did you know Bavaria was actually the birthplace of Nazism? It’s not something we like to talk about, but it all began here.”

  “Ideologue. That’s a good way to describe Levi,” Ariel said. “He’s also quite slippery. I wish I’d been able to take him out in Toronto. I worry the next time he’ll have us in a position where we can’t take the shot.”

  “You shouldn’t have been shooting then.” He got sick to his stomach when he thought about the situation she’d been left in. His gentle Ariel had been forced to take a rifle and save Becca and Owen. “You should have gotten the gun to Owen or called in Ezra. I hate that you had to do that.”

  “I was a bit tied up at the time,” Owen pointed out.

  “He was. To a chair.” Rebecca managed to sound sunny despite how bad the memories must be. “He heroically took down that chair. It will never be used for evil again. So proud of you, babe.”

  Owen chuckled. “Well, I was proud of how Ari came in like an avenging angel and saved us. If she hadn’t, it would have been me and whatever piece of that bloody chair I could have bashed Levi’s skull with.”

  A single brow arched over her eyes, the one that told him he’d said something dumb. “Before you tell me I should have handed the gun over to anyone else, I doubt Rebecca would know which end of the gun to point.”

  “I’m really more of an intellectual,” Rebecca admitted.

  “I know that one.” Tucker held his hand up.

  “I wasn’t trying to say you’re not competent. I know you are.” No McKay-Taggart and Knight employee would be allowed to stay incompetent. They were all trained in self-defense, but the non-ex-military or law enforcement employees were also trained to duck if they had the choice. “I’m saying we need better protocols in place. You should never have been left alone like that. He could have done anything to you.”

  Her expression softened. “But he didn’t and we survived. You couldn’t help the fact that he shot you, Rob. I was terrified when I woke up and I thought you were dying, but it didn’t stop me from acting. I would do it all again tomorrow, though I would take the shot at Green if I had it.”

  “The good news is you won’t have to do it again. Not while I’m here,” he promised.

  “And the bad news is, I’ve seen that car before,” Peter announced.

  Robert didn’t glance back. He didn’t want to give anything away and he was pleased Ariel seemed to have the same idea. “Can you lose him? When did he start following you?”

  “Sometime after I left the city. I stopped by my office to pick up a few things and when I returned to the road here, I noticed that SUV behind me. I made note of the plate,” Peter explained. “It’s the same.”

  “We can’t let him follow us back into town.” He was already trying to come up with ways out of this mess. They couldn’t go back to London without some information on Tucker.

  “Or we could maneuver him into a position where he’s trapped and then I can kill him.” Owen sounded bloodthirsty.

  “Babe, you can’t do that.” Rebecca was definitely the reasonable one in that relationship. “We need information from him. Torture him first, find out who he’s working for and what he’s supposed to do, and then you can kill him.”

  Or not so reasonable.

  “Didn’t you take a Hippocratic oath?” Ariel asked, managing to be amused despite the fact that they were being followed.

  Were any of them going to take this seriously? Had they forgotten what had happened the last time they’d been in a car together and someone had come after them?

  “Hey, it’s going to be okay,” Ariel said. “Are you honestly surprised someone’s watching us? I wish I could get a look at the driver.”

  He wasn’t going to risk it. Not with Ariel in the car. This time she could be the one getting shot.

  Up ahead he saw a sign for fresh vegetables and a small roadside stand. “Pull in there. He won’t be able to stop without giving himself away. He’ll have to drive on and turn around. We can make a crazy dangerous U-turn and drive into town from a different direction.”

  “When did asparagus go white?” Tucker was staring at the sign for the stand. It was a cute hand-painted sign announcing the stand’s offerings. “Is it an albino asparagus?”

  “It’s called Spargel,” Robert replied without thinking about it. “It’s delicious. It tastes like sweet corn. It’s the only asparagus I can handle. We used to eat it with ham.”

  He stopped as the car did. He’d never seen Spargel before. Not once. The Garden’s cooks had never offered anything like it with a meal and yet he could taste it on his tongue. How did he know he ate it with ham, and what had he meant by “we”? It was there, that hint of what lay behind the veil separating his brain from the now and then, the one he could never quite push back except in his dreams when he…

  When he wrapped his hands around her throat and knew he wouldn’t stop until she was gone.

  “Robert? The car’s gone past.” Ariel had a hand on his arm, concern clear in her eyes. “Are you all right?”

  A sharp pain bit through his brain, a clea
r warning. But it was right there. He could see his hands reaching for a fork, felt the anticipation. It was close, everything he’d worked so hard for.

  “Peter, you should get us out of here as soon as you can without killing us.”

  He could hear Ariel talking, but she wasn’t what he saw. He was somewhere else, getting flashes of clear blue sky and the smell of motor oil. Laughter was all around him, and so was a mixture of excitement and dread. It was actually happening. His first…

  Pain screamed through him and the world was suddenly far too bright, like the earth had been encompassed in the whitest light.

  Someone touched him, a cooling hand on his head.

  “Robert, it’s all right. Let it go. We’ll write it all down and figure this out another way. You have what you need from the memory. Let it go,” Ariel said, soothing him. “Let it go and come back to me.”

  But he was trapped in the moment and the memory was right there. His first what? It was important. He wasn’t alone. He was surrounded and he could hear their laughter, feel the camaraderie. He had people who cared about him. Who were they?

  “Robert, listen to my voice.” Through the haze of pain, he could hear Rebecca talking to him. “I need you to do what we’ve been practicing. When you get caught like this, you think about something else. Something real.”

  Rebecca had begun working with all of them to try to better process whatever memories they did get. The first thing they should do was let it go, ride the wave gently and not lock onto it. He’d gone past that now.

  “You need to remember something that’s happened since you were rescued. Something easily accessible.” Rebecca’s voice soothed. “Let go of this one and find someplace where her training can’t touch you.”

  Or he would be horrifically ill for days.

  Something real. He had to get back.

  London, England

  2 years before

  The drama was a lot to take, and now he’d pissed Erin off. It wasn’t his fault he was interested in her sex stories. He envied Theo Taggart for having sex stories to remember. Oh sure remembering this one had sent Theo into a night of puking up his guts and holding his head, but at least it proved he’d had sex.