Lost in You

by Lexi Blake

  “We have to stop that at all costs,” Adam said gravely. “And we have to figure out exactly how Steven Reasor ended up with Dr. McDonald and how they managed to then erase him from existence.”

  He checked behind him to make sure the door was closed before turning back to the monitor. “I would like to know that, too. There’s no record at all of Steven Reasor ever coming into Germany?”

  A frustrated sigh came from Adam. “No. And that means someone is working this from two angles. There should be a passport from the US, and it should show Reasor entering Germany. He would have needed a work visa. The German government doesn’t have a record of him applying. I can find Rebecca’s. I can find Veronica Croft’s. Hell, Dr. McDonald has a record, but nothing on this guy. He’s a ghost.”

  “I think there are bigger factions at play, and that worries me.” Tag ran a hand over his head before staring grimly into the camera. “We don’t understand the past and how Reasor fit in. I’m struggling to imagine Tucker could have been that evil in his former life. I don’t know that evil like that can be erased. It’s not like all of you came out sunny and happy. Dante came out of it a heaping pile of human garbage, and Sasha’s not much better.”

  “Ian,” Ariel admonished.

  Big Tag shrugged. “I call it like I see it, Doc, and yes, that’s my professional opinion. I’ve been wrong on occasion. All I’m saying is keep an eye on things. And by things I mean Tucker.”

  They’d gone over this before they’d left London. “I understand Ariel has veto power when it comes to Tucker and his mental health.”

  But she would listen to him. She knew Tucker. She knew he couldn’t possibly be the bad guy in all this even with everything they knew about him. Tag and Adam were right. Something was off and they needed to figure it out.

  He didn’t know why, but he’d trusted Tucker from the moment he’d met the guy. He was comfortable with him. His every instinct told him that Tucker was a solid guy who would watch his back.

  “Dr. Adisa has veto power over everything about this op,” Tag corrected. “Everything. If she feels like you’re in danger, she can call it off. Hell, if she gets a hankering for Yorkshire pudding, you will all get back on the plane and head to London. Am I understood?”

  It was right there, the instinctive need to salute and say “Sir, yes, sir.” He forced it down because no matter what he’d been before, he wasn’t a soldier now. “Of course. We’ll be landing in forty minutes. I’ll keep you and Damon updated.”

  Tag nodded. “And Adam will be in touch if he finds anything further. Tell Peter hello from me. He’s a good guy. He’ll be your driver and translator, if needed. He’s also muscle. He’s former German intelligence but now he tours castles or some shit. Hopefully he still knows how to shoot. Not that I want any shooting. This should be a shooting-free zone. The last time we shot up Germany, my ass had to fill out paperwork for hours because Damon was a delicate flower and couldn’t hold a pen. Germans are serious about paperwork. They’re also serious about not shooting people.”

  “Damon took most of those bullets,” Ariel pointed out.

  “Yeah, he still wasn’t willing to do that paperwork,” Tag shot back. “So don’t shoot anyone you don’t have to. And if you do have to, hide that body. One of you has to be good at that. Send daily reports and dear god, use condoms. The London team is breeding like rabbits.”

  He reached over and tapped the button that switched off the monitor because he’d heard this lecture before. “There’s a reason I work for Damon.”

  Ariel turned in her chair. “I thought that was because it was safer in London than Dallas.”

  “It’s safer in so many ways.” He glanced down at where she’d been taking notes. “You know Tucker is a good man.”

  “Of course I do, but I also know he’s in a dangerous place. I think our best bet is to keep him as close as possible.”

  “I think he’ll remember the building.” It was precisely why Tucker might be invaluable. “Sometimes we don’t remember places until we get inside them and muscle memory takes over.”

  “Let’s see how the first forty-eight hours goes.” She closed her laptop. “I want to be back in London before the end of the week. We get in, get the intel and get back out, and then we don’t have to worry about Tucker. Once we get back to London, we can spend some more time exploring what happened. I would like to talk more to Rebecca about her experiences with Steven Reasor. I’m being forced to almost treat them like two separate entities.”

  “Can you talk to Big Tag? Can you tell him there’s no way Tucker betrayed us?”

  She studied him for a moment. “Why are you so certain?”

  “Because I know him.”

  “You know the Tucker who exists now. You can’t know who he used to be. Ian is wrong about a couple of things. He thinks a person is born good or bad. He’s got a black and white concept of the world. Oh, he knows a good person can do bad things. He’s not naïve. But I don’t agree with his world view. I don’t think we’re born with a particular bent for good or evil. I believe in nurture over nature, though sometimes even that goes wrong. A human being is always complex. Some of you handled what happened better than others. The experiences were both similar and incredibly unique.”

  “You think one of us betrayed the group.” He didn’t want to believe it.

  “I think Levi Green managed to find us very quickly in Canada. I don’t know how he does that without inside help.”

  “There was someone new on the team. Have we looked into Nina?” Nina Blunt was a new operative.

  “Absolutely we have,” she replied. “I will look at everyone but you have to know Nina couldn’t have tipped him off in Colorado.”

  He’d considered that, too. “According to Jax they were set up with security there. He could have been tapped in. It would have been simple enough to guess we would go for the secret facility. He already knew where it was. It was all a matter of whether or not we could get in under his radar, and we couldn’t. It’s not Tucker.”

  “Who do you suspect? Besides Nina, who is easy to suspect because you don’t know her.”

  He didn’t want to argue. That was the last thing he wanted to do. “I think Green got lucky. If he truly had someone on the inside, he would have taken us all down by now.”

  “I hope you’re right.” She was quiet for a moment. “Why did you change your mind when I got to Canada? I know Big Tag was teasing us but you were different when I got there. We didn’t get to talk about this before.”

  He let all the professional stuff fly straight out the window. If they were going to work together and give a relationship a real shot, they would have to separate the two. “I never changed my mind about you. It was always about me. I knew how crazy I was about you two seconds after we met.”

  “You were interested in a lot of women.”

  He chuckled because she was right…and wrong. He pulled her hand into his and brought it to his lips. “I was looking for anything to hold on to. I was especially looking for a woman I couldn’t hurt. I had a type right after Tag rescued me. I was all about the tough chick because I thought a woman who was physically strong and well trained might be the only one who could handle what I need.”

  “What do you need, Rob?”

  It was time to be honest with her. “I need to be put on my ass from time to time. I need to break things, though not as much as I used to. I didn’t want one of those things I broke to be you.”

  “And what changed? Was it what happened in Canada?”

  He didn’t put down her hand. He liked touching her too much. “I’m better. I’m stronger than I was before. You were right. I needed another therapist. Not because you’re not good.”

  “You couldn’t talk to me the way you should have been able to because you were emotionally involved with me.”

  Well, no one ever said she wasn’t a smarty pants. “Exactly. Kai’s helped me a lot, and one of the things he’s helped me see is that it’s
time for me to start living. There’s no grand past out there for me.”

  “We don’t know that.”

  He’d thought about this a lot. “I’ve been missing for years. If I had a family, they would have looked for me. That was a fear of mine. What if we fell in love and suddenly I found out I had a wife and three kids?”

  “I’ve thought about that, too, but you’re a different person. I don’t know that your memories ever come back unless Levi is telling us the truth and there really is a cure. Or Rebecca can find one. We need to consider that. A person is formed by his or her experiences. Getting your memories back…”

  “Won’t change how I feel about you.” Of that he was certain. He couldn’t imagine a time when he wouldn’t be crazy about her.

  “You can’t know that, but you also can’t live in limbo,” Ariel said. “You can’t spend the rest of your life trying to get back to your old life.”

  “I’m more than happy to move on. I really hope you’re willing to take the chance with me.” He kissed her hand again.

  The door came open and the subject of their professional discussion was suddenly there. “Hey, did you know they have an Xbox?”

  Sometimes Tucker was exactly what Big Tag called him—a puppy. Of course they were all a little like that, though they were puppies with teeth who sometimes went a bit rabid under the right circumstances. “Let’s play then. We’ve got some time. Any interest?”

  He looked at her but she shook her head. “I’m going to stay here and work for a bit. After all, apparently I’m not working this evening.”

  Because they had a date. Satisfaction settled deep inside him. “No work tonight. I’ll come get you before we land. You get immersed in work and Owen still lands like he’s setting down on an aircraft carrier.”

  He winked her way and closed the door. He should spend some time with Tucker and then he would be free to spend all night with Ariel.

  He followed his “brother,” forcing away thoughts of traitors.

  Tonight his life would really begin.

  * * * *

  Ariel opened her laptop and stared at the screen.

  How was she supposed to tell Robert what she was really doing? That she was reporting back to Damon, who was working with MI6? They had to keep the chief updated, feeding him some information so he didn’t get tempted by whatever deal the Agency could make. They were walking a delicate line and had been for years. Then there was the fact that she was watching more than just the Lost Boys. She was watching her old friend Kim to try to figure out where she fell in all of this. It was obvious the Agency had factions working against each other. It was her job to figure out who they could and couldn’t trust.

  And she couldn’t mention any of it to Robert.

  An alert came across her monitor, letting her know the Dallas office was calling. She knew the drill. If she wasn’t alone, she would refuse the call. She accepted it and Ian was there.

  “Is it okay to talk?” he asked.

  “I wouldn’t have answered if it wasn’t.”

  It looked like Taggart had moved out of the main conference room in Dallas to his own private office. He settled back in his big chair, looking very much the king of his personal castle. “Well, you’ve been out of the game for a while now, Doc. Can’t be sure you haven’t gone soft.”

  She’d never worked with Taggart until after she’d left MI6, and she’d always wondered what he’d been like in the field. Ruthless, she would bet, but with an underlying core of humanity not a lot of people would suspect. She felt comfortable working with this man. “I was always soft. That’s why I got out of the game. What did you not tell me?”

  If he was calling back so soon it was because something important had been left out of the general briefing—something he didn’t want Robert to know about.

  “Solo’s in play,” Ian said. “Adam has been monitoring our external players and she flew into Venice yesterday. We lost her from there.”

  “Maybe she has work in Venice.” Having Solo around could make things much more difficult. Not simply because she cared about the woman, but she would have to brief Ezra or keep secrets from another man she respected mightily.

  “It’s only a seven-hour train trip from Venice to Munich. Or she could have had a car waiting. If she flew, she would show up on cameras unless she’s flying private, and then why not fly straight to Munich like we are? I know she could be there for other reasons, but I suspect she’s going to show up.”

  “What do you want me to do?”

  Taggart was quiet for a moment as though trying to figure out how to explain something. “How much do you know about what’s been going on in the US lately? With President Hayes?”

  Everyone knew what had been happening. No US president in the modern era had gotten married while in office. “He recently got married to his former press secretary. It was all over the tabloids. I believe he lost his father as well.”

  Frank Hayes had been sick for a long time. It had come as no great shock, but there had been some gossip concerning how quickly the president had married after his father’s funeral. She didn’t judge the man at all. Sometimes grief could be made more bearable by taking positive steps toward the future.

  “Yeah, the first father died of ‘natural’ causes.” Big Tag used air quotes around the word natural. “Frank Hayes was an ambassador to Russia for years before he got sick. There have always been questions about the president’s father’s work in Moscow, and I think that finally played out in a big way. I believe the truth about his death was covered up, and Solo’s fingerprints were all over that. I’ve heard some rumors that there was a big cleanup project at the White House the day Frank Hayes died, and they weren’t using Merry Maids, if you know what I mean.”

  She’d stayed out of US politics, but she did remember hearing some rumblings about the president’s possible ties to the Russian mob. Or that they were looking for a way to put pressure on him. “You think Kim was involved in covering up something for the president? Did it have something to do with the assassination attempt?”

  There had been a lone wolf shooter who’d tried to take out the president the same day his father had passed away. The press had speculated the stress of almost losing his son had done the old man in.

  “Absolutely. I think there was a throwdown. Hayes came out on top, and he cleaned house with the help of a few of his friends,” Taggart asserted. “I know what Solo’s work looks like. She had the press shut down in hours. We’ve all been wondering who she’s working for, and I’m placing a big old bet that it’s the president himself. Well, the president and a man named Connor Sparks. If she’s working for that team, we need her. Do you understand how much easier our lives get if Solo can get the president on our side?”

  A lot of their problems would disappear. At least for however long the president was in power. “How much should I tell her I know?”

  “Make that call in the field. You’re going to have to make a lot of decisions, and without input at times.” Ian was quiet for a moment before he got to the heart of why he’d called her back. “I need to know who’s working with Green.”

  That was her real mission, and she felt like she hadn’t done a good job of it. She’d spent months with these men. Shouldn’t she be able to tell? Logically she knew it wasn’t her fault, but that didn’t change the feeling in the pit of her stomach. She had to be honest with Ian. “Any of the men could do it given the right circumstances.”

  He shook his head. “No, Doc. I’m not asking for a shrink talk. I’ve read your reports. I need to know what you think. You’re only relying on one part of your skill set. Stop being a shrink and put on your operative hat for me. Going on pure instinct, what do you think?”

  Well, she didn’t believe in coincidence. Not with something like this. “It’s one of three people. It’s Dante or Sasha or Tucker. They’re the three who aren’t honest with me in therapy. Jax is an open book. He’s incapable of this level of betrayal. Owen woul
d never have put Rebecca in danger, and I seriously doubt Levi would have shot Rob if he’d been working for him.”

  Logic told her it was one of the three. Instinct made her want to bring that list down to two.

  “Or Levi is really smart and shooting up Robert takes the suspicion off him. He could have killed him. It would have been easy to do it,” Ian pointed out.

  The idea of Robert being the traitor was completely unbelievable. She would bet her reputation on the fact that the man was exactly who he presented himself to be, with the singular exception of hiding his rage. It was always there, bubbling under his surface, but he tried to hide it from her. From the world. “It would have been far easier for Rob to stop the car and turn us all over. Levi wanted Rebecca. He wouldn’t have put her at risk if he’d had another way to bring her in.”

  “He let his minion shoot Jax, too. Well, I can’t wait to see who he decides to shoot next.” Ian sat back. “As it happens, I agree with your assessment. Robert is important to my family. I don’t know my brother makes it through what he went through if Robert hadn’t been there. But the same loyalty he showed Theo is why I can’t trust him to see a traitor in his midst.”

  “He sees the good in people.” He often ignored the bad willfully. It was one thing that worried her about him.

  Ian stared at her through the monitor. “Tell me why you think it’s one of those three. What do you mean they haven’t been honest during therapy?”

  People tended to start therapy with their walls firmly up. Especially when the therapy wasn’t their idea, as was the case with the Lost Boys. Dante and Sasha had seemed angrier than the rest at the outset, but sometimes still waters ran very deep. “All three of them are holding back in our sessions. Every one of them did in the beginning, but the rest opened up after they realized they were safe. Normally I wouldn’t worry about it. They went through something traumatic. It could take years to truly open up.”

  “But we don’t have that kind of time,” Tag pointed out. “Are you sure you’re okay with this mission? I know I joke about it, but I understand you have feelings for Robert and have for a long time. You can’t talk to him about this.”