The Dog Sitter: The new feel-good romantic comedy of 2021 from the bestselling author of The Wedding Date!

by Zara Stoneley

  I did feel pretty shit this morning when Ash left, but after a walk with Bella I ended up feeling strangely positive. I think it must have been the fresh air and exercise, but I stopped feeling slightly sick about his brush-off. I mean, oh my God I can’t believe it, I had a one-night stand! I’ve never done that before! Never, ever. Is that sad or what?

  It was amazing. The best sex I have ever, ever had and I was totally uninhibited.

  I laughed out loud and Bella came back all excited to see what had got into me, and we had a mad game of hide and seek in the trees. Okay, I’m not saying people, well, I, should sleep around, but it was just so un-stage-managed. It just happened! This is how my life should be: impulsive, doing what I want, in the moment.

  After I got back and stopped grinning like a loon though, I couldn’t stop thinking about him. Even though I’ve managed to royally cock things up between me and Ash, before anything really started.

  He might not want a relationship with a girl, or me in particular, but I do know that there’s something primal about his need for Bella, some deep hurt in him. This isn’t just about getting his own back on Georgina, there’s something more meaningful to it, and I feel sick at the idea of not trying to help him.

  I also think that however little I know him I can’t have completely got him wrong. Georgina might say he’s evil and a smooth talker, but he’s had the opportunity to take the dog – and not taken her. He could have easily grabbed her after the lake incident, when I literally fainted at his feet, and he could have agreed to cracking open another bottle of wine, got me legless, tied me to the bed and hopped it with her.

  But he didn’t.

  So he can’t be all bad.

  And I think Georgina knows that. Which is why she’s so upset.

  With this in mind, I suggested to her that stopping Ash seeing Bella altogether seemed to be making him even more determined, and letting him see her could reduce the risk of him dog-napping?

  She messaged straight back agreeing to discuss it, yay result! So I sat down, finished the work for Ben (while trying not to keep looking at the boathouse picture) and put Mischief the Magic Pony (who has been left out at pasture and sadly neglected recently) back on my desk.

  I’m just wondering about whether a plate of nachos for lunch is a teeny bit greedy, or necessary fuel for a long dog walk (dogs are a brilliant excuse for a bad diet) when my phone rings. Georgina!

  For the first time since I got here, I answer her call with a smile on my face.

  My master plan is going to work! Ash will be happy, Bella will be happy and I will be happy – and able to get more work done!

  ‘I can’t do it!’ Georgina blurts the words out the second I pick up. ‘I’m sorry, I just can’t.’ She sounds close to tears; the quaver in her voice brings a lump to my throat. ‘I can’t just let her go, let it all go.’

  My smile slides off and a boulder drops into the bottom of my stomach. ‘I’m sorry, it’s just Ash seems upset as well and…’

  ‘You don’t understand, it was so good, you don’t know what it’s like.’ She sniffs.

  ‘I don’t,’ I say softly.

  ‘Bella is all I’ve got left. He’s never going to come back if he’s got her, is he?’

  ‘You wouldn’t want him back just for Bella, would you? Georgina, you can tell me to sod off and it’s none of my business, and I don’t know what it’s been like for you, but I do know what it’s like to be in a relationship that isn’t right anymore.’

  ‘You do?’

  I take a deep breath. ‘Yes, I do. I was with somebody and trying to be who he wanted me to be and I wasn’t being me, and it has taken me ages, months to realise what a mistake that was.’

  Wow, what made me say that? I mean, I’ve admitted it to myself, in my head, but I’ve not felt ready to tell the world. It felt really strange saying it out loud – and to a complete stranger – but strangely liberating. I don’t feel like crying, I don’t feel stupid. It’s almost like I’ve realised inside that I’ve got to the point when I’m no longer just trying to persuade myself that I’d got it wrong, that I’m right to come here and try to change. I actually believe it now.

  I’m not usually the over-sharing type though. It seems like this trip is bringing out a whole new side of me, maybe it’s all those late-night chats with Bella.

  ‘We split up months ago, ages, as well.’ Georgina sounds dejected, but at least she’s listening, and I’m pleased that I told her, that I was honest.

  ‘But it does take ages to get over stuff like that Georgina, it takes ages to work out what you really want, why sometimes what you thought you wanted isn’t the right thing for you at all. I mean, I thought it meant I was crap and I was in the wrong, but I’m finally beginning to realise that maybe I wasn’t. Not that I’m saying that you think you’re crap, because of course you don’t, but,’ I take a deep breath and slow down. ‘Hey, what I’m trying to say is that splitting up doesn’t reflect on you at all, you know. Honestly. You’re so successful, your Insta is amazing, you can make it even more amazing even if you’ve not got Ash or Bella. You can do it on your own, Georgie!’

  ‘You think?’ she says grudgingly.

  ‘Definitely.’

  ‘I don’t know.’ She sounds doubtful more than tearful now. ‘I’m not sure. I mean Bella is important to me.’

  ‘I know.’

  There’s a long silence. ‘Look after her for me until I come home.’

  ‘I will, and Ash?’

  ‘I don’t want him to have her.’

  ‘She is his though, isn’t she?’ Even as I say it, I know I shouldn’t. It doesn’t matter who bought her. She belonged to them both. She was part of their family.

  ‘No, she isn’t!’ It comes out part yell, part wail and it makes me flinch.

  Why was I so stupid? She’s upset. I’ve told Ash myself that she needs time and now I’m basically doing what I told him he shouldn’t. I feel bad enough upsetting her, but what if she’s now so upset she wants to get rid of me? I don’t want to be turfed out and branded a bad house-sitter. I like house-sitting!

  ‘You do know he’s been trained in actual lying and getting his own way, don’t you? It’s his special skill!’

  I would quite like to point out that IMHO his special skill involves his tongue, thumb and a featherlight touch on the inner thigh. But that might not be appropriate, and I don’t think it would go down well right now.

  It also brings back the feelings of guilt. I just got a bit miffed that she was accusing him of lying, when it’s her that is actually telling a fib.

  ‘I didn’t, no.’

  ‘She was ours, not his!’ Well, that’s fair enough. ‘Please don’t talk to him, don’t let him take her!’

  I don’t even know if he’s coming back, though I’m pretty sure he will keep an eye on Bella even if he’s not keen on being near me. And I’m also pretty sure he won’t want sex again. Though if he did (being optimistic here) maybe silent sex would mean I’m getting satisfaction, but staying within her guidelines? Not sure he’d agree on that one, especially if I have to hide Bella first.

  There is a silence apart from what I think is the tapping of her fingernails. ‘This is so stressing me out. I’m getting a migraine; I need to go and lie down. Can you give Bella a hug from me please?’

  ‘Of course.’ I press the end call button. I came here for a quiet life and a few dog walks, not to act as peacekeeper in a war zone.

  Or to have wild sex.

  I slump down on the sofa. ‘Oh God, Bella. My head hurts. I’m knackered.’ She wags her tail and rests her head on my knee.

  Unluckily I am not the peacemaker I was hoping I was, so no Nobel Prize nomination there then, but luckily the rest of the day passes in perfect peace. Well, not quite perfect, because I have to admit to half hoping Ash will climb over the wall with a pocketful of treats, or just come and pick up the hoodie he forgot when he left in such a hurry. He doesn’t.

  I fear that my i
ntentions might have been dishonourable, and I might have been hoping to offer puppy visitation rights for my own ends – so that I can see him again.

  And I fear that his intentions might have been to work out a grand master plan to take Bella.

  But it doesn’t matter, eh? It was just a shag. Well, not just any shag, it was amazing. A grown-up expression of lust and sexual compatibility that went on for several hours.

  Phew, I’m getting hot and bothered. I think I need a long walk or a cold shower. Or both.

  Chapter Eighteen

  ‘Party time!’

  ‘Sorry?’ I have been up since 6 a.m. adding glittery highlights to Mischief the Magic Pony, have had at least six cups of coffee, one slice of toast and think I might be hallucinating.

  There is a giant dog and a man with a camera on the doorstep.

  I know I’m staring, but they must be used to it.

  My gate buzzer went two minutes ago, and I practically leapt out of my seat, grinning like a loon, sure that it was Ash.

  Then I tripped up over Bella’s strategically placed bone, recovered temporarily then skidded on her rope (she’s cross that I’ve been working not playing so has booby-trapped the place), then went flying after putting one foot on her ball.

  Ignoring my elbow, which I’d banged fairly and squarely on my funny bone, I scrambled towards the intercom desperate to stop him from leaving before I answered and hit the ‘entry’ rather than the ‘answer’ button by mistake.

  It isn’t until I saw Fido and photographer at the door that I remember Ash has never rung the gate buzzer. He just comes in and lurks in the shrubbery, or peers through a window, or appears at the patio doors.

  I rub my painful elbow. It hurts so much this can’t be anything other than reality.

  ‘Party for Georgina and Bella,’ says the dog, who seems to be in charge. Then she lifts her fluffy head up and underneath it is a blonde-haired girl in her late teens who looks a bit hot and sweaty. She brushes strands of hair off her forehead and mock-smiles. I know it’s not real, she’s scowling at the same time. Impressive. ‘You got a text?’ she sighs, world-weary before her time.

  I look at my phone. Shit. I have missed so many calls and messages! I’d put my phone on silent and left it in the kitchen while I worked – partly because I was pissed off with all the messages from Teddy, which I was trying to ignore, and partly because of the absence of calls from Ash, which I kept pathetically checking for.

  Teddy is at the top of the hit parade, with a total number of texts in the teens, plus an impressive number of WhatsApp messages and two missed Skype calls. Ben comes in with one, just losing out to Georgina who has sent two. Big fat zero from Ash.

  I open the first one from Georgina.

  Be in this afternoon, it is Bella’s birthday and I have stuff ordered for her. Do NOT give her any breakfast or she’ll be sick.

  Whoopsie.

  Do NOT take photos, I’ve sent a professional. Geo.

  The second one is to the point:

  Confirmed for 2 p.m.

  Shit, is it that time already? No wonder I’m starving.

  I glance up. The dog and photographer are waiting. ‘Oh, right fine. Er, you’ve brought stuff? A cake?’

  ‘She’s got the full package,’ says the dog with another sigh, before jamming her head back on. ‘You have shut the gate?’ I nod dumbly. ‘Right, I’ll get the rest out to let off steam before I set up if that’s okay?’ I nod again. ‘You can help if you want?’

  ‘I’m just here to take photos.’ The photographer waves his camera in the air to excuse himself, and the dog folds its arms and stamps its foot. I think underneath the cute exterior it is glaring at us.

  The photographer winks. ‘Jake.’ He shoves a hand my way and we shake. ‘Beer would be good if you’ve got one?’

  ‘Er beer, right, I’ll look.’

  ‘Georgina usually has some stashed away. All have our good points, eh?’ He winks again. ‘Known her long?’

  ‘I don’t really know her at all, I’m just house-sitting, and looking after Bella.’

  ‘Come on then, I’ll help myself. Might be better to be out of the way for five minutes. You okay, Fluffy? Won’t be long!’

  I don’t think Fluffy is impressed. She starts throwing things out of the van as though she wishes she was dropping them on his head.

  ‘Ignore her,’ he says. I probably look alarmed. ‘I’ve worked with her a few times, she’s good with dogs.’

  ‘Oh, right.’

  ‘Crap with people, but can’t have everything, can you?’

  ‘I suppose not.’

  ‘She brought five.’

  ‘Five? Cakes?’

  ‘Dogs. Haha.’

  It is at this point that ‘Fluffy’ opens the rear door of her van and all hell seems to break loose. There are dogs everywhere, of every shape and size, and colour. They are jumping up at me, running circles round Jake, rolling on the lawn, barking at each other.

  ‘There looks to be more than five.’

  ‘Haha, I’d let Bella out if I was you. Sooner we start, sooner they’ll calm down.’ And with that he barges his way into the house, lets Bella out of the kitchen and ploughs on in search of refreshment. ‘Don’t worry, she’s met them before, at her last party,’ he yells back at me.

  It gets worse. Now the dogs have spread out I can separate them into individuals. There is another cockapoo, the brown version of Bella, and she heads straight for it. If I thought zoomies were dangerous with one cockapoo, it takes on a whole new side when there are two. I’ve never seen dogs run so fast. There’s also a border collie who seems to be stalking an invisible herd of sheep, a Great Dane who is sitting watching what’s going on like a spectator at a tennis match, he’s tilting his head from one side to the other, then turning from left to right. Then there’s a fat Labrador wandering round sniffing the shrubs (I hope Ash isn’t in one of them) and cocking its leg up at regular intervals, and a Chihuahua who is in hot pursuit of the cockapoos barking its head off angrily, getting regularly jumped over (and occasionally bowled over) and generally seems to be trying to stir things up. The Labrador ignores it when it rushes up and bites his ankles, and the Great Dane has decided to lie down and try to flatten it with one giant paw.

  I don’t blame Jake for going inside, it’s dangerous out here.

  ‘Enough!’ Fluffy hasn’t even shouted particularly loudly, but all of the dogs grind to a halt. Apart from the Great Dane which is already immobile.

  It slowly gets to its feet, and the others amble over, tongues hanging out.

  Fluffy hands out treats and points to the low trestle table she has set up while I’ve been transfixed by the chaos.

  Weirdly the dogs seem to know exactly what is required, and head for specific places around the table, before sitting down… on little (or big in the case of the Great Dane) raised mats… like primary school kids in assembly.

  ‘Awesome sauce,’ says Jake, ambling over, beer in one hand, camera in the other. ‘Hold this, sweets.’ I have never been called ‘sweets’ before but I am in a state of shock and unable to respond. I meekly take the beer. ‘Bonus that Miss Fancy Pants isn’t here.’ I think he means Georgina. ‘It’s stand here, stand there, crouch down, lower, lower. As though I don’t know what I’m doing.’ He sits down at the end of the table, waiting as Fluffy goes around and puts a party hat on each dog. Bella gets a crown and a sash that says ‘Birthday Girl’ in very small letters. I guess it’s the thought that counts.

  ‘Cats!’ shouts Jake and they all perk up for a moment as he snaps away. ‘Last time I did one of these gigs, I shouted squirrels and the party boy shot out of the garden and we didn’t see him again.’ He laughs, shoves a hand out for his beer and takes another swig.

  Fluffy meanwhile is placing sandwiches and sausage rolls on plates. ‘They’re fake, they’re grain-free, organic baked goods,’ she says, as though it’s a script she has to read off. Jake is right, she’s brilliant with the dogs –
not exactly people-friendly though. I think she hates me.

  Jake takes more pictures. I act as beer trolley.

  ‘Now Monty, don’t you dare!’ shouts Fluffy, before distributing cakes all round.

  Six pairs of doggy eyes are fixed on their plates. I’m holding my breath; I can’t quite believe that Bella is leaving food – normally she grabs anything if I’m too far away to stop her. Jake snaps away.

  ‘Okay Bella!’ Bella looks at Fluffy and she nods, then she wolfs it down. The peanut butter coating is smeared over her nose and whiskers.

  ‘Perfect shot!’ yells Jake, very pleased with himself. ‘Sometimes have to have two or three goes at that, the buggers swallow them down so bloody quick.’

  While he’s busy studying his photo with delight though, all hell has broken out again.

  The Labrador is trying to hoover all the other cakes up, and has already scoffed his own, and the one that was in front of the border collie (who is busy preparing to pounce on the flower in the middle of the table). The Chihuahua has launched itself onto the table and is heading down the middle like a missile, before jumping on the Labrador’s head and going ape.

  ‘Believes in fair play, that one,’ says Jake, chuckling.

  The Great Dane meanwhile has bored of the whole thing and crashes onto the table, which collapses.

  I’m not sure if this counts as successful or not.

  ‘Musical chairs now. Video time.’ Jake is standing up.

  ‘There’s more? You’re kidding me?’

  ‘No joke!’ This is a new voice, in my ear. Warm breath fanning my neck. I whirl around and come nose to nose with Ash. Oh my God, Ash!

  All I can do is grin at him like a loon. I’m just wondering if I can get away with a kiss when something black and furry wedges itself between us. Wriggling away like a ferret.