The Dog Sitter: The new feel-good romantic comedy of 2021 from the bestselling author of The Wedding Date!

by Zara Stoneley

  ‘Oh man, ace to see you, thought you were persona non-grata.’

  ‘I am, mate.’ Ash holds Bella at arm’s length so that she can’t French-kiss him, and grins back at Jake, before they high five. ‘Keep schtum. Not a word that I’ve been here.’

  ‘Keep me in beer and not a word will pass my lips. Though to be fair, this one’s been doing a good enough job.’ He winks at me. It is a bad habit. Almost a nervous twitch.

  ‘What are you doing here?’

  Ash waits until Jake has moved away to take more photos, then whispers in my ear. ‘I brought Bella a birthday present, of course! Keep it to yourself until the rabble have gone!’ He’s got the hint of an embarrassed blush along his cheekbones. It’s cute. We share a conspiratorial smile. ‘Where is it?’ I whisper back.

  He puts a finger to his lips. ‘After the party is over. She emailed me last night.’

  ‘Oh?’ I look at him hopefully.

  He shakes his head. ‘I gather you must have said something? Thanks for trying, but it’s fine. I’ll sort it with her. I don’t want to mess this—’ he waves a hand to encompass the house and garden ‘—up for you. And…’ There’s a long pause, during which he gazes into my eyes, which makes me feel all gooey inside. ‘Sorry I stormed off the other day.’

  ‘No problem,’ I squeak.

  ‘I was wound up. But it’s not your problem.’ He sighs, watching Bella as she runs around with the other dogs. Musical chairs for dogs is something special. There are special chairs, appropriate music (at this particular moment we have ‘Who Let the Dogs Out’ blaring out) and when it stops, they all dash to a chair and put their front paws up. Apart from the Chihuahua who is small enough to fit on the chair. And then growl at anybody else that comes near.

  I don’t know whether this is ridiculous and totally crazy, or cool.

  Either way, it feels even more fun now that Ash is here.

  ‘But…’ Ash is not looking at me. ‘It doesn’t change anything. I still need Bella back, I guess I just hadn’t thought properly about how long was long enough for Georgie until you said something.’ There’s another lingering look, which this time sends a tingle right down to the base of my spine. ‘Thank you.’

  He touches my hand lightly and I feel faint. It’s probably lust, a conditioned response after the sex.

  ‘Go Bella!’ His laugh is even hotter than his looks. Bella has just collided with the border collie, who decided it wasn’t interested in the game anyway, and bounced away before cocking its leg up – showering the other cockapoo.

  ‘Can’t we have a truce until Georgina comes back? You see Bella but promise not to nab her?’ I can hear a wistful note in my voice. It would be nice to see him and know I can drop my guard.

  We both watch the dogs, and not each other.

  ‘Where’s the fun in that?’ I can sense he is grinning. ‘And it’ll be harder for me when she’s back!’

  ‘Are you calling me a pushover?’

  He chuckles in reply and warms me up inside. Oh boy, the challenge is on, nobody calls me a pushover!

  He doesn’t answer, he merely frowns. ‘I think I heard the gate. Are you expecting anybody?’

  I shake my head. ‘Nope. I don’t know anybody round here apart from you and David.’

  ‘I’ll get it.’ I watch as he strides purposefully down the driveway.

  Oh my God he is so masculine. And sexy.

  I’m glad he’s come back, even if it is only for Bella’s birthday. For Bella. Not me.

  Fluffy now has the dogs playing catch. I cannot believe anybody has gone to all this trouble for a dog’s birthday. I mean what’s wrong with a few treats and a new toy?

  Although I suspect this is more about the photo opportunity than anything else. I haven’t missed the fact that there is branding on absolutely everything, including the party hats and the little chairs that they used for musical chairs. Which I hope Fluffy is going to hose down and disinfect.

  ‘Last game!’ shouts Fluffy, before lining up all the dogs, side by side, and laying out a load of (branded) cushions a few yards away.

  ‘Hang on, just getting another beer, but I need to vid this,’ says Jake, with one foot already inside the house. ‘And take a photo. Turn that tartan bed round thirty degrees, can’t see the label properly.’

  ‘You need to move!’ shouts Fluffy at me.

  ‘What?’

  ‘You’re in the way! We’re having a race from where they are, to the beds! Basil, sit!’ She’s quite assertive actually, however young and ditsy she appears. I nearly sit, until I realise she’s talking to a dog.

  The dogs love her. Basil the Chihuahua sits. Then the moment she takes her eyes off him, he creeps forward and lies down a bit closer. ‘Back!’ He crawls back, commando-style. ‘More!’ He wriggles back a couple of millimetres. It’s hilarious.

  I move over to the other side, where I can watch in safety. The border collie, who has been crawling forward, suddenly can’t hold itself back a moment longer and dives round in a big circle, intent on herding the naughty Basil back into place.

  Fluffy folds her arms. ‘Thank you, Charlie. Bella?’ Bella who had been about to stand up, hears the note of warning and sits down abruptly, with a ‘who me?’ look on her face.

  ‘Okay, ready, steady, bed!’

  ‘Go Bella, go!’ I can’t help myself, this might be totally loopy, but I’ve been drawn into the excitement. And what can I say? I’m a competitive mum. I realise I’m leaping up and down. If Teddy could see me now, he’d die of embarrassment.

  You should see those dogs fly towards the finishing line though. They are awesome.

  Somebody unfortunately doesn’t. Somebody marches straight across the line of fire.

  For a moment I think it must be Ash, then I realise it definitely isn’t.

  Because Ash is standing across from me, legs apart, hands on hips, looking very action-man like.

  ‘Fuck, what the, gerroff me, get off you nasty—’

  The yelling stops, I think that is because Bella has done her tongue down the throat trick.

  ‘Stoooooop!’ As the figure thrashes around under the sea of dogs, I realise I recognise the shoes.

  It is Teddy.

  Teddy has never been much of an animal lover – another reason why our relationship would never have gone to the next level. He flings his arms around wildly. The Great Dane starts to bark and bounce up and down like a dinosaur.

  ‘Stop thrashing you idiot, you’re winding them up!’ yells Fluffy.

  I try not to snigger.

  Teddy rolls over and Basil jumps on his head, snapping at his hair. Bella crawls under his protective arm determined to kiss him, and the other cockapoo zooms in and grabs the trilby hat I hadn’t noticed.

  ‘Help me, you morons!’

  We all stare at Teddy, under a pile of dogs.

  Jake snorts and moves in closer; I suspect he might be videoing.

  I look at Ash, who is grinning. I look over at Fluffy. She has taken her head off. She is now very hot and sweaty underneath, and her mascara has run. She looks like a big dog even without the fluffy head. In fact, she looks like she’s been crying. She wipes her cheek with the back of her hand. ‘Sorry.’ She stifles a sob. ‘Sorry.’ She hiccups. Then I realise she is trying not to laugh. ‘Mouse, come back!’ I think Mouse must be the cockapoo, but as Fluffy has lost her normal assertive tone, due to hiccups, Mouse ignores her and runs around ragging the hat as though it is a dead rat.

  ‘Come back with that!’ He is out of the rugby scrum, and on his hands and knees, pursuing Mouse, who has come back and keeps teasing him by running close, until Teddy thinks he can get his hat back, and then leaping back as he makes a grab.

  Finally, he gets a hand on it. Mouse growls, thinking this is a great game of tug. I’ve seen Bella do this. It is not going to end well.

  Fluffy finally sobers up enough to yell, ‘Leave it’ and Mouse lets go abruptly and sits down. Teddy falls over backwards.

&
nbsp; I try not to laugh.

  Very, very slowly he gets to his feet and wipes the grass off his legs. He straightens his hat out as best he can – it is not good; it will never look the same again – and puts it on his head. This last bit is a mistake. We all want to laugh.

  Fluffy sticks her head back on quick, I put my fist in my mouth, Jake studies his camera intently, biting his lip, and Ash… well, Ash laughs.

  Then he pulls himself together and looks at me.

  ‘This guy says you’re expecting him?’

  ‘I’m not,’ I mouth back. ‘Teddy, what the hell are you doing here?’

  Teddy adjusts the crotch of his trousers and winces. Then stalks past me towards the house, his legs bowed cowboy-style. Which nearly sets us all off again.

  ‘I need a word with you, inside,’ he says stiffly.

  Ash raises an eyebrow. ‘Been a naughty girl?’ He’s right, Teddy does sound a bit of a dick.

  ‘It would be nice if you’d let me and my girlfriend talk in private,’ Teddy adds, still hobbling, but doing his best to look debonair.

  ‘Ex,’ I mouth in Ash’s direction.

  It’s quite startling the contrast between Teddy and Ash. If Teddy hadn’t been trampled by dogs he’d look his normal, well-groomed, immaculate self. One could quite picture him with Pimm’s, playing croquet on the lawn.

  But right now, with his foppish hair sticking out in all directions, clothes crumpled and what looks like grass stains down his shirt, he looks totally out of place. Trying too hard.

  Whereas Ash would look good if he’d waded through a swamp and been trampled by a wildebeest.

  Ash, who is tanned nutmeg-brown, every sinew of his body delicately defined. Ash, with his genuine, open face, and startlingly intense pretence-stripping gaze. Ash, with his just-there beard which emphasises a strong, square jaw rather than tries to disguise a weak one.

  Ash, with his large capable hands.

  A shiver runs through my body. I really need to stop thinking about him in this way.

  But what the hell did I ever see in Teddy?

  ‘I’ll, er, pack up, shall I?’ Fluffy brings me back down to earth. Her voice has a quaver of laughter in it and her head is trembling. I stop swooning and try to hold my grin behind pursed lips.

  ‘Sure, fine, great… er… party. Georgina will be thrilled!’ I say.

  ‘Want me to hang around for a bit?’ Ash raises a questioning eyebrow. ‘I can look after Bella?’ She leaps up at him at the sound of her name.

  I’d love him to hang around, so would Bella, but I’m not sure it’s a good idea. I don’t know how long this is going to take. And however much I dislike Teddy, it wouldn’t be fair on him. ‘Maybe not.’

  I call Bella over, and snap her lead on to her collar, throwing him an apologetic look. Awkward. ‘I need to stop her chasing the other dogs into the van!’ He just looks and doesn’t comment.

  It makes me sad. He could have put her lead on for me, kept an eye on her. Given her birthday cuddles.

  I know if he took Bella with him, he’d look after her. But I don’t even know where he lives.

  Trouble is I do trust him, take him at his word. And his word as far as Bella goes is that he’s going to get her back. Whatever it takes.

  So now I’m doubly sad, following Teddy dejectedly, dragging my feet like a child who knows they’re about to get a bollocking and wants to put the inevitable off for as long as possible. And dragging Bella, who isn’t happy that the party is over. And that her favourite person is going.

  Talk about the low after the high.

  Teddy beats me to the house and has nosed round and found the study within seconds. He is standing in front of my boathouse painting.

  ‘What are you playing at, Becky?’ He doesn’t even turn to look at me.

  ‘Sorry?’ Fuck, how does he know that I’m supposed to keep Ash at arm’s length, well actually on the other side of the gate? How does he know we’ve had rampant sex?

  ‘With Ben?’ Phew, this is about work. Thank heavens for that! ‘What are you playing at? Has somebody pressed your career self-destruct button? Spending too much time with the locals?’ Snap, snap, snap of the alligator jaws, and he’s getting closer as he does it.

  I try not to flinch or back off. I am gobsmacked. I’d forgotten Teddy could be like this. Because he was never usually like this with me. With his authors, agents, publishers even. But not me.

  ‘What?’ I am pretty much speechless, shocked he’s here, astounded he still thinks he has a say in what I do.

  ‘I’ve driven a long way; I’d appreciate it if you could stop keeping saying “what?” and answer the questions.’

  I laugh. I can’t help myself. If the dog party was a bit surreal, this is taking it a step further. I feel like Alice in Wonderland. I’ve fallen through a hole and haven’t a clue what is going on. ‘Why are you here, why have you driven a long way, Teddy?’

  ‘Because you wouldn’t answer my calls!’ he says stiffly.

  ‘And how did you know where I was?’

  He doesn’t answer my question. He stares at me. Why have I never noticed how lifeless and pale his eyes are before? There’s no emotion there at all. They also dart from side to side; he doesn’t actually meet my gaze and hold it. It’s more of a peppering of short looks, an assault. ‘Are you mad, Becky? Have you completely lost your mind?’

  ‘For not answering your calls?’

  ‘Oh, don’t be ridiculous. The commission! For not taking the commission with Ben. What on earth does your father think?’ He puts his hands in his pockets, his ridiculous hat still perched on his head. But any traces of humour that were lingering inside me dissipate. ‘Or haven’t you told him?’

  I could punch him. I really could. ‘What on earth has my dad got to do with this?’

  ‘Oh, come on Becky, don’t be disingenuous. Working with Ben is the closest you’ll ever get to a proper career.’

  Out of all the boyfriends I’ve had, my dad did quite seem to like, or rather approve of Teddy. He might be in the ‘creative industry’, but he has the trappings. The flash car, nice house, connections. Dad warmed to him initially. He thought he had a ‘proper job’ and approved of his attempts to guide me. Initially.

  It hasn’t clicked properly until now, but suddenly it is crystal clear. I’ve got to admit, since coming out here and actually having some time and space to think, I have realised that Teddy had reinforced my feelings of being a disappointment to my family, feelings that I hadn’t met their expectations.

  It was him who always undermined who I really am, what I really want, not them. It was Teddy who was controlling, not my parents. It hits me properly now. They might not have always thought I was doing the right thing, but they’ve never been manipulative. Never tried to actually mould me to suit what they’ve wanted and hoped for. But Teddy has. And I’ve let him. And Teddy has tried to make me think all along that I’ve been letting them down. Which is rubbish. I let him create a distance between me and my family. I joined in. No wonder they weren’t keen on him.

  ‘I have got a proper career, thank you!’ I can feel the anger bubble up inside me. I clench my fists, livid. ‘What the fu—’

  He takes a step over to my desk. ‘Let’s face it, this stuff is a bit shit, isn’t it?’ He pokes a finger at my sketches of Mischief. It’s like waving a red rag at a bull and I can feel my eyes mist over. ‘Like that terrible last cover Ben made you rework.’

  ‘What? What?’ I am almost speechless. ‘It was you who told me to do it like that, it was your fault!’

  He ignores me.

  ‘But it’s nothing to do with you now, none of your business, you had no right!’

  I realise now Teddy was never one to admit his mistakes. I can’t ever remember him saying sorry, or saying he was wrong. He is back looking at the boathouse now. His short laugh is full of scorn and derision. ‘I mean, look at this crap.’ He moves in closer to peer at my painting again, then waves a dismissive hand. �
�Pah, chocolate box pictures, what’s happened to your artistic integrity, your creativity? This is crap!’

  ‘You happened to my artistic integrity, Teddy!’ I think I may have stamped my foot. ‘You did! This isn’t about my integrity and my creativity, it’s about your fucking bank balance.’

  His neck is red. It’s a sure sign. He also keeps looking shiftily over at my Mischief pictures. He can’t help himself. Those are what this is about.

  ‘Ha! I’m getting close, aren’t I?’

  ‘You need to come back and be sensible.’ He ignores my question. ‘Don’t let our personal lives interfere with business.’

  And suddenly I know. I totally get it. This is totally about Teddy. It always has been. This is about his business connections and his career.

  Normally I’d let it go. But I can’t. ‘You promised Ben I’d do this, didn’t you? What for, Teddy? What does he give you in exchange? Take on one of your new brilliant cover designers?’ The anger bubbles up inside me and my voice has got an edge, but I can’t help myself. He’s using me even now, even after he’s told me he doesn’t need me. Doesn’t want me. Even after he’s told me I’m rubbish at my job, he’s still using me. It would be laughable if it wasn’t so bloody annoying.

  His cheekbones are red-tinged, his pale complexion blotchy. He still can’t stop glancing down at Mischief.

  All of a sudden, I realise this isn’t about my art, or my replacement. It is more than that. My anger fades and I just feel sad that I didn’t spot what a fake he was earlier. I’ve been such an idiot. ‘Hang on, no hang on. This is about these books, isn’t it? Am I getting warm?’

  Teddy definitely is. ‘Rubbish.’ He sneaks another sideways look, it’s as though he can’t help himself.

  ‘Well, whatever. You know what? I don’t care! But I do care that you used me Teddy!’ He stares coldly back at me, just a hint of colour tinging his cheekbones. ‘You used me!’

  ‘Well, that’s life!’

  ‘It’s not my life!’

  ‘Oh, we can’t all be fluffy-headed idealists Becky. Open your eyes, look at your family! Think about them for once.’

  That does it. ‘I have opened my eyes now, at last!’