Bait & Switch

by Kendall Ryan

  “And Daniella doesn’t?” He chuckled.

  He really had no idea about the kink. Our relationship wasn’t built on that kind of emotional intimacy. Just a fuck-load of trust. She provided what I needed, and I gave her the same in return.

  “No,” I said simply.

  Grey looked at me with a sort of sad gleam in his eye. Like he was happy I found someone who loved me enough to kiss me. Openly. On the mouth. All the time.

  But shit, it wasn’t like he had anyone, either. I knew he didn’t have anyone warming his bed and loving on him. He spent all his time at work or at the gym. When he occasionally took a girl home, I never heard of her again.

  “I think you have your answer, dude.” He looked at me knowingly.

  I grunted in acknowledgment, just to end this fucking conversation already. Little did he know I wasn’t about to trade in my whole world for some good pussy.

  We finished our drinks in silence for the next half hour. There was no escape from my own thoughts.

  Grey didn’t understand that I would lose more than sex if I ended things with Daniella. She represented my entire way of life for the past two years. My partner, my counterweight. We shared the same purpose. We could fulfill each other’s needs for sex and companionship without getting attached enough to get hurt.

  Until I met Lacey, I could have maintained that equilibrium forever. But she’d knocked me off-balance. And if I let those scales tip, there was no going back, whatever my new life had in store.

  But, I realized, it was already too late. I’d reached the point of no return. Discontent had already crept into me. I’d tasted what a woman’s love could offer, and the life that had once satisfied me now left me cold and hungry. Lacey promised me more, and even if I wasn’t sure, did I really want to remain in this lukewarm limbo?

  Last night, when Lacey had caught me in bed with Daniella and run away, my panic had left no room for confusion. Seeing Lacey like that had driven out every other thought. The idea that she might be scared or hurt had made me run after her on pure instinct. In that moment, my priorities had turned crystal clear.

  And if the situations were reversed, I would never be okay with sharing Lacey with another man. The thought alone made me feel homicidal. Knowing someone else was touching her? It made me want to beat the motherfucker within an inch of his life.

  But I wasn’t about to tell Grey that he was right . . . and face every emotion I’d turned off. At least, not yet.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Lacey

  I hadn’t heard from Nolan in two days. Worry and doubt hadn’t just started to creep in; they took over every cell of my being, settling in and demanding attention. I felt achy and tired all the time, despite sleeping more than usual.

  Knowing I’d put him in a difficult spot with Daniella, I felt terrible asking him to decide. He’d been up front from the beginning, I’d known about her the entire time, and Daniella hadn’t done anything wrong. Yet now I was asking him to essentially kick her out and give me exclusivity when I hadn’t even been honest about my own past yet.

  That would come. I knew it had to, but for now, I couldn’t deny myself what I wanted. What was that saying? The heart wants what it wants. And mine wanted Nolan.

  A simple phone call to him could solve all of my worry. I could ask him point-blank where he stood, what he wanted, and if he’d made a decision. But doubt and fear kept me from making that call. What if he chooses her?

  I decided to take a chance. To finally meet Daniella, talk woman to woman, and see if we could settle this. Mustering up my courage, I headed downstairs and drove to Nolan’s house.

  When I pulled up, I was relieved to see his truck gone, and Daniella’s little silver sedan parked in the driveway.

  Here goes nothing.

  Daniella opened the door with a warm smile. “Can I help you?”

  Seeing her in person was like a smack of harsh realization to the face. She was beautiful. Tall with willowy limbs, and dark hair that hung down her back in loose waves. Her eyes couldn’t be described as hazel, but they weren’t quite brown either. Their mossy color was unique, and set against her porcelain skin and regal features, they were striking.

  She was watching me with a guarded smile. Hidden in the smile was a question: Are you going to change my entire world?

  But I didn’t know the answer to that question. I took a deep breath and steeled myself for what was sure to be an awkward encounter.

  “I’m Lacey.”

  Her smile instantly faded. “Nolan’s not here right now.”

  My heart started to race. “I know that,” I managed to say.

  “Then, what brings you by?” Her tone held the same caution as her smile.

  “I came by to see if I could talk to you, actually,” I said, trying not to sound too panicked or aggressive.

  “Okay,” she replied—a little carefully.

  She opened the door wider and I stepped into their neat living room. Vacuum lines in the carpet. Stacks of paperbacks that must have been hers sat on the bookshelves, resting beside his collection of vinyl records and various military awards.

  A pit of unease settled in my stomach. For better or worse, they had built a life together.

  “You want something to drink? A bottle of water?” she asked.

  I nodded as she led the way through the kitchen, where she grabbed two bottles of water and then stopped at the dining table.

  I sat down across from her and folded my hands in my lap. You could have cut the tension in the air with a knife. Especially since the images of her from that night were still burned into my brain, lurid and shocking.

  Crimson streaks laced through her otherwise jet-black hair. Red handprints on her ass, tattoos twining over her skin, silver barbells in her nipples.

  This woman and I were polar opposites. I was about as exotic as a slice of white bread. Nolan might have said that his relationship with Daniella was built solely on companionship, but obviously something about her turned him on. Even after just a few minutes in her presence, I could see why. She was different, exciting and edgy. Her lips were glossy red, she was wearing a faded T-shirt for a London Art Fair, and there was a tiny semicolon tattoo on the inside of her wrist.

  I knew right then that this wasn’t some meaningless affair. This woman had held his interest and dominated his love life for two years. Nobody else had even come close to her level of commitment.

  Except for me . . . God, I hope so.

  Sitting at Daniella’s table—at their table—made me nervous in a way I hadn’t been before. It was the shock I’d felt at the Nurses’ Ball all over again. Every time I saw her, she became more of a real person to me; it was clear that she was no one-dimensional fling. She had interests and passions and depth. Their relationship had its own history that I couldn’t touch. They had probably shared things that he and I never would—both in the bedroom and outside it.

  A chill of icy dread crept over me. This wasn’t going to be as easy as I’d hoped. I’d been so sure that Nolan and I were great together, but now, for the first time, I began to wonder if I measured up. If I was enough for him.

  Daniella watched me coolly but with equal interest, no doubt wondering what Nolan saw in me.

  My heart rate accelerated. Shit. Maybe coming here was a mistake after all. Taking a deep breath, I stuck to the plan.

  “First, I have to apologize for barging in the other day. I heard voices and let myself inside, never dreaming that I’d interrupt . . . something between you and Nolan.”

  I didn’t mention that I was being followed. I didn’t mention that I’d feared for my safety. I just let them think I was a presumptuous person who went barging into people’s houses. It felt awfully brash and brazen now, but at the time, it had seemed like my only option.

  Her eyes settled on mine, but she waved a dismissive hand. “I had no idea, honestly . . . my mind was elsewhere. But Nolan told me after, and he said he went to check on you. Are you okay?”
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  “Actually, no.” My gaze darted up to Daniella’s. “But not because of what I saw. Your kink is your business. It’s just that seeing Nolan with another woman made me realize . . . how deeply my feelings for him ran.”

  “I see.” Daniella shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “What are you saying?”

  The room spun with unspoken tension and emotion. I wiped my damp palms on my jeans.

  “I gave him a choice. Told him what I want—me and him, an exclusive relationship.”

  Daniella laughed abruptly, a humorless burst of shocked surprise, as if she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “What did he say?”

  “He’s still thinking it over. I’m not sure what he wants.” My voice grew quiet, my own doubts obvious in my tone. “I’m not sure if my ultimatum will drive a wedge between us, or if it will mean the end for you and him.”

  Daniella’s eyes widened just slightly, but enough for me to know that the idea scared her. “So you couldn’t handle it after all . . . us fucking the same man.”

  I twisted my hands in my lap. “Actually, Nolan and I . . . we haven’t had sex.”

  Daniella’s posture stiffened as the color drained from her face. “Well, that changes everything.”

  “How so?”

  “Because that’s not how Nolan operates. Never has. I thought you were a random booty call, someone to give him the vanilla he liked on the side. But if you haven’t even slept with him, it’s obvious he has real feelings for you.”

  Simultaneous hope and dread bloomed inside my chest. The beginning of a real relationship with Nolan meant everything to me, but it would also mean coming clean about my past. Whether I was ready or not.

  “Listen,” Daniella said, “if this is what you want, and if it’s what he wants, I’m not going to stand in the way. Ultimately, it’s up to Nolan.”

  I nodded.

  Now, we would just have to wait and see.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Stuffing the essentials into a black duffel bag, I go over my plan again. Rope. Check. Zip ties. Check. Directions to get the fuck out of town if this goes south. Check.

  The desire for revenge boils under my skin. I’m hot, edgy, and unsatisfied. Vengeance is now so close I can taste it in the air.

  If circumstances had been different, if you’d followed what you were supposed to do . . . maybe I could have made this easier on you. But there’s no going back now. I’ll see to it that you suffer.

  You ruined what I once held dear. Ruined everything I built for myself. And now you’re going to pay. I’m almost giddy with excitement, picturing your face as you realize what’s happening.

  Zipping up the duffel bag, I check my phone again. Now it’s time. Time for you to pay.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Nolan

  I had to end my old life before I could begin my new one. Of course, knowing that didn’t make the task any easier. I waited for two days to break the bad news to Daniella, with the excuse that she had back-to-back nursing shifts and I wanted her full, well-rested attention. I used the time to rehearse my words over and over. But there was no painless way to tell someone you weren’t compatible.

  The moment came when I got home from work that evening. Sutton was snoring on his favorite armchair, sprawled out like a pudgy beanbag, and Daniella was reading on the couch. She had almost finished the sci-fi novel she’d started a few short weeks ago.

  Back then, I had thought that nothing could disrupt our safe, sterile peace. Everything had changed so fast, fallen so completely out of balance. Even if I could bring myself to abandon Lacey now, life with Daniella would never be quite the same.

  There was no longer any doubt in my mind about what I wanted. As much as I dreaded this conversation, as much as it would hurt Daniella, I knew that staying in denial would hurt all three of us even more.

  Daniella tensed at the sound of my footsteps. As if my nearness hurt her, as if she knew what was coming. But there was no other way. All I could do was make the cut as quick and clean as possible.

  “Hey,” I called out, as if she didn’t already know I was home. “How are you?”

  She dropped her book on her chest to look at me. “My day was okay. Sutton was acting crazy earlier, running around and barking at nothing.”

  “Sutton, running? Are we talking about the same lazy asshole here?” My laugh fell painfully flat.

  Daniella shrugged. “I saw him do it. Maybe he thought something was happening outside.”

  I crossed the room and sat down on the chair’s arm. “So, there’s, um . . .” Why couldn’t I make my mouth work? I tried again. “I have to tell you something.”

  She blinked slowly. “It’s about Lacey, isn’t it?”

  “Yes.” I wondered if she knew what was coming, but I pushed on anyway. “I never intended for this to happen.” Damn it, Nolan, just get it out. “Things have . . . changed.”

  She nodded sadly in acknowledgment, waiting for me to continue. But the words stuck in my throat, leaving us in awkward silence for several seconds. Our perfect little bubble had popped, despite our best efforts.

  “Do you love me?” she finally asked, her voice whisper soft.

  I hesitated, just long enough for the seeds of doubt to grow. “Of course I do.”

  A single tear rolled down her cheek. “It’s okay. I want the truth.”

  My throat tightened, and I couldn’t answer. Couldn’t look her in the eye and say the words I knew would crush her. God, this was excruciating. I took a deep breath.

  “Then go to her.” She wiped the tear away with the back of her hand. “Give her everything.”

  I had expected shock and confusion, anger and fear, all gushing out in a big, ugly explosion. But Daniella’s hazel eyes held only weary resignation. I had never seen her look so purely sad.

  Finally, she put her book aside and sat up. “I figured it would turn out this way.”

  Say what? I stammered, “You . . . did?”

  Daniella sighed. It was an empty sound. “Earlier today, Lacey came by to talk. She told me everything.” She wet her lips. “I realized that you’re . . . in love with her. Like, for real. So I’m glad you’re not letting me get in the way of that.”

  I fought through my surprise, trying to process everything she had just said. Deep in the back of my mind, I felt a faint, shameful gratitude that Lacey had laid some of the groundwork for me. But mostly I just felt like shit. It was bad enough that I was cutting off Daniella—but she had to hear the news from the very woman who’d stolen my heart?

  She forged ahead through my conflicted silence. “You’re a good man. You’ve done so much for me. I just want you to be happy, and if Lacey makes you happy, then I understand.”

  I shouldn’t argue with Daniella when she was trying to make this easy. But I couldn’t stand the thought of her playing the martyr. I couldn’t let her step back into her old, worn role of the cool girl who laughed off every insult, always “up for anything,” never inconveniencing anyone with her pain. The good sub who served all her master’s whims, who was paraded around in public and ignored at home. The smart, generous, hardworking woman who tried her best . . . yet always ended up left behind.

  “I’ve always known this day was coming,” she went on. “Ever since I moved in two years ago. You’re a good catch. I knew you’d eventually meet a woman who wasn’t okay with sharing.” She blinked rapidly, her voice growing hoarse with emotion. “And . . . I’ve been doing some thinking. In the long run, this is better for me too.”

  “Daniella, I don’t want to hurt you. Where will you—”

  “Stop feeling guilty and listen to me.”

  I shut the hell up. Daniella gave a long, loud sniff before continuing.

  “I needed a wake-up call like this. I’ve been hiding for too long. I let my ex poison my life. I didn’t want to see him and his new sub, so I avoided places I once loved. I didn’t want to meet another man like him, so I haven’t even tried dating for two years.”r />
  “But that’s okay, isn’t it? You needed a break.”

  Actually, she had needed a safe place to rest her heart. Even now, after so long, she still couldn’t bring herself to say that asshole’s name.

  Her lower lip quivered and she looked away, steeling her resolve. “Yeah, it was okay . . . for a while. But it’s time for me to get back on my own two feet. Make a fresh start. Find a way to be truly happy again, not just comfortable. Because sometimes . . .” She took a deep, shaky breath. “Comfortable is just another way of saying afraid.”

  Taken aback, I nodded soberly. She had put it into better words than I ever could. I knew what it was like to cage myself in fear. Both Daniella and I had organized our whole lives around avoiding the inevitable, terrified of connection and the risks that came with it. As much as I hated to admit it, we’d been holding each other back. Using each other as security blankets, so that we never had to grow up and move on.

  Looking back on the past few years, I couldn’t believe how stupid I’d been. I thought I’d singlehandedly discovered the secret to happiness, but all I’d really done was given up trying. It had taken Lacey to make me understand that. To make me see the light.

  As Daniella’s tears finally started to flow, I knelt and gathered her close. “Come here.”

  She buried her crumpled face into my shoulder. Her lean body shook in my arms. Normally she stood so tall, so self-assured, exuding an air of effortless grace, but right now she seemed small and fragile and lost. Needing to be taken care of.

  Although I could never be her Dom again, I could still offer refuge as her friend. I could still give her this space to fall apart, free from shame or fear. And when she was ready to pull herself together and move forward again, I would be there to help.

  I held her tight for a long time. Until her sobs smoothed out into deep, heavy breaths.

  Not knowing what else to say, I mumbled into her hair, “You can keep my damn sweatshirt if you want. I know it’s your favorite.”