by D Gourlay
“Shouldn’t you be going to sleep?” Seb asks as Dad shuffles in between us.
“Ah, I’d rather spend some time with my two favourite boys.” He says and throws each of his arms around mine and Seb’s shoulders.
“Get off!” Seb laughs and shrugs him off.
I hear the doorbell- Wait, that’s not how this goes. I remember, Dad turns the football on and watches it for all of five minutes before falling asleep.
The doorbell rings again and someone starts banging on the door. Neither Seb nor Dad seem to notice.
I wake suddenly and can hear banging at the front door.
I shake my head, confused for a moment, before realising I must have fallen asleep next to Rachel. The sunlight is streaming through a crack in the curtains, so we must have been here all night.
The banging has stirred Rach and she looks nervously at me. I head to the door and open it a crack. I can see Robins and another police officer standing outside.
“Sorry, I hope I didn’t wake you, I just wanted to have a word.”
“No, it’s fine, come in.” I open the door and allow the two men to walk in.
“Rachel, I’m so sorry about all of this.” Rachel stands as Robins walks into the front room, her eyes are bloodshot and her skin looks deathly pale.
“Would you like a coffee?” She asks.
“No, thank you. I can’t stay long, I just wanted to give you an update. Although to be honest there isn’t too much to update.” He sighs and runs his hand through his hair. “The officers thought he was unconscious. He hadn’t woken up yet. They were stationed outside of his door, but he somehow found a way to unclip the security locks on the windows.” He shakes his head. “It shouldn’t have happened. We aren’t sure how much time passed between him climbing out of the window and the nurses realising he was gone. But we’ve not been able to find him overnight.”
Rachel just stares blankly ahead, eyes glazed over.
“I’ll have two officers kept outside of the house at all times, and in the meantime I recommend you don’t go out unless absolutely necessary.”
“So, we have to stay locked inside like prisoners, while the real criminal just gets to wander around, doing God knows what?” Rachel doesn’t even blink as she speaks.
“Rachel, I promise you, we are doing everything in our power to get him. I have half of the force out searching for him.”
She just nods. “How did he try to kill himself?”
“Uh, he tried to cut his wrists. Apparently he lost a hell of a lot of blood and then he went running to the guards.”
Rachel scoffs and rolls her eyes. “So he obviously wasn’t trying to actually kill himself, or he would have just died, rather than going and getting help.”
“Possibly, or possibly he just panicked. We won’t know until we find him.”
Rachel looks as though she is about to lose her temper so I quickly intervene.
“We won’t keep you any longer, if there isn’t anything else I think we need to speak to Ami.”
“Oh, of course. Well I’ll be in touch.” He turns to leave and the silent officer follows him.
I turn around after closing the door and freeze when I see Ami sitting on the stairs, wide eyed and terrified.
“Oh Aims.” I say and she rushes down the stairs and into my arms.
Rachel comes running out after hearing Ami’s sobs and we stay in the hallway, holding her tightly until she calms down.
“How much did you hear?” She asks when I finally manage to carry her onto the sofa where she climbs straight on to Rachel’s lap.
“Everything.” She sobs. “I didn’t mean to listen, I just heard voices and then started to come downstairs and heard everything. He isn’t going to come after me again is he?”
“No of course he isn’t baby, Tad and I won’t let you out of our sight, you hear me?” Rach pulls her tightly into her chest and I stroke her hair softly, trying to reassure her.
Ami has calmed down and Rachel has called her parents to fill them in. I could practically hear Leo shouting about the “damn police not doing their jobs properly” from the other side of the room. They’ve decided to come round and not long after I hear the doorbell. I open the door and see a rather frazzled looking Mary shouting behind her at someone to “Bugger off and get a real job!”
“Who was that?” I ask when they are both safely inside with the door closed.
“Have you not seen outside of your gate? Bloody press everywhere.” Mary says as she takes off her coat.
She walks straight to Ami and Rach in the front room and leaves me with Leo.
“How are you doing?” He asks.
“Oh, well, you know… Not exactly how I imagined married life would start.” I try to laugh and scratch my head nervously. “Coffee?”
“Only if you have decaf, high blood pressure.” He rolls his eyes and I walk into the kitchen to sort out drinks for everyone.
Chapter Seventeen
Rachel
It’s been three days. Three whole days since Kevin managed to escape from hospital, and there hasn’t even been so much as a sighting.
Ami hasn’t even been able to go to school and she is getting bored and taking it out on Tad and I.
She’s currently blasting music in her bedroom, after screaming at me that I’m a monster because I wouldn’t let her go to her school disco.
I feel awful, but I can’t risk anything happening to her.
“She’ll be okay.” Tad says as he hands me a steaming mug of coffee. “She’s probably just going a bit crazy being stuck here every day.”
“I know how she feels.” I sigh.
“Why don’t I ask if Tommo will take her to your parents’ house for the night? I know it’s not the same as a disco, but it will at least get her out of the house. And it would be nice to have some time alone, without a grumpy pre-teen stomping around the house.”
I force a laugh and as much as I’m nervous about letting her go anywhere without me, it does sound like a good idea.
“I’ll give Mum a ring, I’m sure they’d be more than happy to have her.”
Ami was out the door within seconds of me asking if she’d like to go to Mum and Dad’s. Tad has gone with her and Tommo, as well as a few other members of the security team Tad has pulled together.
My heart feels heavy as I watch the cars drive away. I can’t believe this is happening again. The security, being watched around the clock, scared to go outside. It’s just not fair.
It’s Ami’s birthday in a few weeks, and the thought of having to spend it like this just kills me. I look down and notice that my hands are balled into such tight fists that my fingernails have sunk into my skin. I relax my hands, shake them and try to breath.
A combination of no sleep, and this entire shitty situation have seriously put me on edge. I feel as though I’m one more tiny thing away from absolutely snapping. And the more I try to hold myself together, the more lost I feel.
I don’t seem to be able to do anything without Kevin following me. I turn on the television and his face is plastered across a news report. I open Facebook, and numerous people have shared photos of his evil face, alerting the public to this dangerous, escaped murderer. I have tried reading, but I am absolutely unable to concentrate on anything.
Eventually, and maybe stupidly, I decide to open my laptop and just read everything and anything about Kevin. Maybe if I get it all out of the way I will feel better.
The first post is a shared news article about his multiple, horrific crimes. I take a deep breath and click the link. The piece talks about everything, all the things I talked about in court, the girl he killed, drugging me, kidnapping Ami. My heart is racing as I reach the end of the article.
This was a really bad idea. Close the laptop, put on a film, and ignore the world.
For maybe the first time ever, I decide to listen to that inner voice I so often ignore. I close the link to the article, and just as I am about to close the lid of
the laptop, something catches my eye. Another post about Kevin, and the words above it make the contents of my stomach shift uncomfortably.
Latest news- Escaped murderer sighted near his home in Hampshire!
My blood runs cold and when I hear a noise from behind me I stand so quickly that the laptop falls to the floor with a loud thud. I spin around to see Tad standing behind me, looking at me with concerned eyes.
“Rach, what’s happened?” He asks as he slowly walks towards me.
I look between him and the laptop on the floor, and I try to tell him. But as I open my mouth the only thing that wants to come out is whatever I last ate. I run as fast as I can upstairs and barely make it into the bathroom in time.
I can hear Tad waiting on the other side of the door for me. I stand and splash some cold water on my face and neck, as I remind myself to breathe deeply.
The door slowly opens and Tad walks in. “What’s happened?” He walks up behind me and turns me to face him.
“I saw a report online, that he’s been spotted around here.” I stutter.
He looks puzzled for a moment. “Did Robins call you?”
“Well, no. But I read it online, in a news report.”
“Oh Rach.” He smiles softly and kisses my forehead. “If he had genuinely been sighted, I’m sure the first we would know about it would be from the police, not some report online.” He laughs softly and I push him away.
“Why are you laughing?” I can’t even look at him and I try to walk out of the bathroom.
“Rach!” I wasn’t laughing at you.” He gently grabs my arm and stands in front of me. “I’m sorry, I just don’t think we should worry unless the police give us any reason to.”
“Yeah, because they’ve done such a good job already.” I scoff as I push past him.
I head back downstairs, check the laptop for any damage, luckily it’s fine, and then I put it out of the way, where I won’t be tempted to look again. My heart feels like it’s racing, and I almost feel like my insides are shaking where I am just so wound up. The impulse to just start throwing things, is so strong I feel like I need to sit on my hands.
“Here.” Tad says from behind me, handing me a glass of wine. I take it and put it straight on the table before I throw it at him. He comes and sits next to me and I can tell he is staring at me.
“Wine can’t fix everything.” I say coldly.
“No, but it helps.” He jokes.
I shut my eyes tightly and exhale loudly.
“Oh Rach, come on.” He puts his hand on my leg, and the sudden, unexpected touch just sets something off inside of me.
“No! Don’t oh Rach me!” I yell and he jumps slightly. “Wine and a few shitty jokes aren’t going to fix this!” I run my fingers through my hair and can tell he is simmering next to me.
“Rachel-” He says, and I can tell he is trying his hardest to be calm.
“No! Tad! Nothing you can say or do right now can fix this, so just stop!”
“No, that’s right. Nothing I say or do is ever fucking good enough at the moment, is it?” He snaps, and I stare at him, wide eyed. “Honestly Rachel, our fucking relationship has revolved around that man ever since it started. When will it stop? Even when he was in prison you were sneaking off to visit him.”
“Don’t you dare make this my fault. And I saw him once Tad, once. You’re making it sound like I was visiting every week.”
“And how do I know it was only the once? You lied to me so easily about that, what else have you been lying about?” His voice is getting louder and he looks furious.
“I told you, I hated lying, but I didn’t want to upset you. I was just thinking about you.” I scream back at him.
“Oh fuck this.” He stands abruptly and storms off into the kitchen.
I can do nothing but pull my legs into my chest and sob into my arms.
The last thing I wanted to do was end up fighting with Tad, with everything else going on. What is wrong with me?
After everything he has done for me. For Ami, and I treat him like this?
The tears fall until there are no tears left, and then I just let myself fall to my side and close my eyes. I need to go and apologise, but I just feel exhausted. Mentally and physically drained. I concentrate on steadying my erratic breathing, deciding I need to be completely calm before I go and speak to him.
I’m back in that same alleyway again. Even before I start moving I know the walls are going to close in on me, no matter what direction I walk in. I turn as I hear footsteps, and there is Tad. Only this time he is looking at me.
“Go away Rachel.” He says, in a cold voice entirely different to his.
“No, let’s go together.” I whisper.
“I don’t want to go anywhere with you.”
“No, please Tad, we have to go.” I beg.
“Get out of the way.”
He pushes past me and I try to follow but I barely move an inch before the walls are so close together I barely have any room to breathe. Tad is able to walk right through them, and I hear the second set of footsteps.
“Tad, please, please, come back!” Whether he ignores me, or doesn’t hear me, I can’t be sure, but he keeps walking. He is getting further and further away, but then the second figure appears. And again, he slowly pulls the knife out of his pocket, before thrusting it forwards.
I wake so violently that I fall straight off the sofa. My face is wet through with sweat, and I’m shaking all over. It takes a second before I realise I’m still in the front room. It’s freezing cold and pitch black. Using my hands to feel in front of me, I walk over towards the door and flick the light switch.
The house is eerily quiet and I can’t hear Tad anywhere.
“Tad?” I call down the hallway towards the kitchen. I walk to his office and find it empty. I half run up the stairs and into our bedroom, it’s dark and empty, and so is every other room upstairs.
My heart speeds in my chest and I run back down the stairs and to the front door. Trying to compose myself, I breathe deeply before opening it and finding one of the security team leaning against the wall, half asleep.
“Do you know where Tad is?” I ask, and it’s impossible to miss the note of hysteria in my voice.
“Um, we assumed he was inside?” The man looks confused and my panic begins to rise.
“I can’t find him.” I almost whisper. I don’t trust my voice right now. The man pulls out his phone and starts dialing a number. I turn back inside and race to the basement door.
“Tad?” I shout into the darkness and the silence is deafening.
Pulse ringing in my ears, I step back and lean against the wall to help hold me up. There are footsteps coming from the door and I turn to see Tommo.
“Mrs Turner-”
“He’s gone! He’s not anywhere!” I scream and his eyes widen at my outburst. “We had an argument and he walked off, and then I fell asleep, and now- Now, he’s gone!” I slide down the wall, defeated.
If anything happens to him it will be my fault.
“Mrs Turner, he probably just needed to blow off some steam. I’ll send some people out to look for him now.” He pulls out his phone and I suddenly rush over to the sofa to get mine.
I tap Tad’s name on the screen and put the phone to my ear, only to immediately hear Tad’s voicemail.
“Fuck!” I shout and launch my phone half way across the room.
Tommo is in the hallway talking on the phone and I feel utterly useless. Striding into the hallway, I pick up my coat and try to find my shoes.
“Mrs Turner, you can’t go outside.” He says quietly next to me.
“Like hell I can’t! He is my husband and I have to go and find him.” I struggle to get my arms into my coat and feel a strong hand on my shoulder.
“Mrs Turner- Rachel, please. If anything happened to you, my life would not be worth living. Mr Turner needs his space sometimes, he’s probably just gone for a walk. I promise, we will find him, but you have to
stay here.”
Tad
Ihad to get out of the house. I felt like I couldn’t breathe stuck inside, and I didn’t want to keep shouting at Rachel.
I hadn’t wanted to shout at her at all. That was the absolute last thing I wanted. But this whole fucked up situation has got me so on edge that we have both ended up taking it out on each other.
I snuck out the back door and jumped the fence. I just didn’t want to be around anyone. I needed some space to clear my head.
Once I couldn’t feel my fingers from the cold anymore, I decided I needed to go back and sort things out. Nothing was going to get any better with me freezing outside, and Rachel no doubt worrying at home. And I would not let that monster come between us. We needed to find a better way to deal with this. I wasn’t sure what that might be but I knew I had to go home and try.
And then my phone rang.
“Did you think I wasn’t watching you?” Kevin half laughs and I stop walking, immediately turning, looking in all directions, as if he is hiding in the shadows.
“What exactly is it you want?”
“I just want to talk, that’s all. Face to face. Man to man.”
“And what makes you think I want to talk to you?”
“Trust me, I think you’d be very interested in what I have to say. Meet me in the industrial park in ten minutes.”
“What if I just call the police and tell them exactly where you will be?”
He laughs. “Oh Turner, you and I both know you won’t be calling the police. Ten minutes.”
And that’s how I have found myself in a deserted car park in the early hours of the morning. My mind is racing, I have no idea what he plans to do. Every noise I hear I jump and turn to investigate like a mad man. Almost every bone in my body is telling me to just run home, phone the police, and deal with whatever happens after. But a small part wants to confront him.
I hear a twig snap from behind me and I turn to see Kevin standing, staring at me, his lips curled into an evil smile.
