All That Matters

by Sadie Rose

  Ok then. I guess I kinda knew that or knew it was something like that. So, what's making out or messing around?

  "That's like anything that doesn't involve intercourse." he grins at me. "All the kissing touching or whatever but not actually having sex.”

  Have you had sex?

  "Jesus Ava! Seriously?" he's laughing but also looks embarrassed again. He flops back on the bed and crosses his arms over his face laughing.

  What?! Is that too nosy?

  Mason sits back up, snickering. "Ya, it's pretty fucking nosy!"

  Sorry! You don't have to answer! I didn't mean to embarrass you.

  He snorts, "fuck I don't care it's just most girls wouldn't just straight up ask. They would hint or beat around the bush. It's cute how you just blurt it out." I don't know why we find this conversation so funny, but we are both laughing. Maybe it's just the absurdity that a 15-year-old girl doesn't know about sex but given my life when would I have learned about THAT.

  So, have you then?

  "Ya, of course I have" he answers grinning. My eyes bug out. I'm completely shocked.

  Really? With who?

  "I don't know lots of girls," he says still laughing.

  LOTS?? Really?

  "Ya, kinda a lot to be honest and don't ask how many cuz it's not like I just kept count or something." A thought occurs to me. I wonder if mason has a girlfriend. Or someone he's having sex with now? Well no, surely, he doesn't have anyone he's having sex with now, he spends all his time with me.

  You don't have a girlfriend now, do you?

  He laughs "Are you fucking kidding me Ava?" he grins and rolls his eyes. "First of all, I spend all my time with you so obviously I don't have a girlfriend now. You know about boyfriends and girlfriends, right? I mean I know you do because we have watched lots of shows and movies with boyfriends and girlfriends." I roll my eyes and shove his shoulder. We are both laughing again.

  Of course, I know about girlfriends and boyfriend!! I just didn't know about like the specifics! Oh my God!

  "Then you gotta know I like you Ava." What?! He likes me?! I shake my head.

  What?! You like me? Like me like a girlfriend?

  He grabs a pillow and covers my face with it, He's laughing so hard. "Are you serious? How do you NOT know I like you? Fuck my life!" I shove the pillow off my face, giggling.

  How would I know that?! Ya, you're nice to me but you haven't ever kissed me or anything! I'm not a freaking mind reader!!

  "I've held your hand! I've hugged you! I was waiting to be sure you liked me!" This whole conversation is just weird and funny. "Is that what it's gonna take for you to get the picture that I like you? A kiss?" I nod my head snickering and giggling. He holds the pillow to my face again. We are both sitting across from each other laughing. He snorts like seriously snorts with laughter. I'm laughing just as hard. "Ok, ok but I can't right now I'm laughing too hard" I try to stop laughing but every time we look at each other we start laughing again. After a few minutes our laughter is settling down. "Just so you know though, we aren’t just messing around. Once I kiss you, you're my girlfriend. So, you better be sure that's what you want before I do it. Got it?" I grin at Mason. Seriously he WANTS ME to be HIS girlfriend. I pretend to think about it for a few minutes then grin and give him the thumbs up. We laugh again and he scoots closer. Our laughter has faded considerably. He scoots closer until our knees are touching.

  Mason reaches up and cups my face the tips of his fingers sinking into my hairline. "Close your eyes" he whispers. His voice sounds tight, like he's nervous maybe. I close my eyes. My heart is racing. I feel like my whole body is on fire. My face is probably beet red. I feel Mason lean closer until I feel his breath on my lips. I gasp a breath in. He hesitates a few seconds before his lips softly brush against mine. He does it a second time. The softest faintest brush of his lips. I get the feeling he's going slow with me giving me a chance to pull back and stop the kiss if I want to. I don't want to stop it though. I press my lips against his hesitantly trying to let him know that I'm ok. That I want this. He exhales and God even his breath is good. Minty and warm. His mouth parts just slightly and he kisses me harder. He doesn't try to stick his tongue in my mouth just kisses me softly sweeping his mouth back and forth across mine several times before pulling back slightly. "More?" He asks quietly. I nod and he leans back close to me. His lips are firmer this time. He presses harder against my mouth it doesn't take long before he opens his mouth just slightly and gently sucks my bottom lip into his mouth. My insides melt, they turn to liquid. I let out a tiny moan nothing, nothing, nothing in my life has ever felt like this. As soon as I moan, he sucks my lip deeper into his mouth, releases it, then runs his tongue over my bottom lip. My lips are still closed, not tightly but not open.

  "Open your mouth just a little" He whispers against my mouth. I can't breathe, I feel like I'm panting I open my mouth just a fraction and he groans, immediately sweeping just the tip of his tongue inside of my mouth. It flicks lightly against my tongue, the feeling is so hot, so shocking, I gasp and pull back. I'm gasping and staring at him. I feel like I'm trembling all over. I want more. I want so much more.

  His breath is coming fast and hard too. His eyes look wild and dazed, I wonder if my eyes look like that too. "Too much?" he asks softly? I shake my head "more" I whisper softly. His mouth slams hard into mine his hand cups the back of my head and he groans. His tongue barely sweeps inside again. Oh my God! I love how the tip of his tongue feels. So hot and wet. Not like I'm being gagged or chocked, just rubbing the very tip of my tongue.

  "Again" he whispers into my mouth. "Say it again" He demands. "More" I whisper softly into his mouth. He groans "Fucking hell again" he demands harshly. I shudder against him, the kiss is getting harder, deeper, more frantic. "More" every time I say it, he kisses me deeper. "Give me your tongue" He demands. I hesitantly push the tip of my tongue into his mouth and he makes a half groan half choking sound when it touches his. He gently sucks the tip of my tongue and I explode. I die, I fly apart and shatter into a million little pieces. I launch myself against him and he yanks me into his lap. My legs are straddling his. His hands are on my waist, sweeping up into my hair then down my back, before squeezing my hips and going back into my hair. Like he can't touch me enough. Like he wants his hands everywhere at once. My breath is coming so fast I can't even breathe. My arms wrap around him and I press as close to him as I can. The kiss is frantic and wild. He breaks from my mouth and kisses my cheeks, my eyes my jaw down to my neck before returning back to my lips. His hands are tangled into my hair. Finally, he yanks away and buries his face into my neck gasping for air. My face is pressed against his shoulder. God, he smells so good!

  "Say something Ava. Say anything, I wanna hear your voice again." he whispers. "I want another kiss" I whisper quietly. He lets out a laugh that ends in a groan. "You're fucking killing me baby"

  We stay like that a long time trying to get our breathing to return to normal. "That was the best fucking kiss ever Ava." he says after a while. I smile

  "I agree" I answer. Finally, we manage to let go of each other and move until we are sitting face to face again.

  "Remember our deal Ava," he says. "What deal?" I ask softly. My voice sounds strange to me kinda hoarse and breathy. "You're my girlfriend now" He leans forward and kisses my lips.

  "Yes" I agree leaning over to kiss him back.

  Chapter 33

  Mason

  I can't believe I kissed Ava. I hadn't planned to. Not yet. Not for a long time. How the hell does a girl taste like cotton candy and sugar? I swear she does though. Everything about her is just sweet. We spent all night kissing and stopping, then kissing some more. But now I gotta be smart and careful because one, Ava might be ready for kissing but she sure as hell ain't ready for more. And two, my dad just warned me not to get involved with Ava like that. I'm not really sure how to bring the subject up to Ava. I don't like the idea of going behind our parents back. I think maybe we should jus
t be upfront about the whole situation. Maybe Kate would be ok with us dating? I'm flopping back and forth in my mind weighing the pros and cons of both situations when Ava opens my door. She's already showered and dressed. As soon as she walks in my room smells like her. Like strawberries and vanilla and I don't know, like Ava. She bounces on my bed.

  Wake up! Let's do something!

  Ava still feels weird about talking. She says its strange hearing her voice, so she's still using her phone and iPad a lot. I'm not worried about it because I know the more, she talks the more comfortable she will be with it and the easier it'll be for her. "What do you want to do?" I ask pulling her down next to me.

  Do you think mom would let us ride the bike?

  "Maybe? We could ask," I answer

  Mason.

  "Yes, Ava." She looks serious and worried; she's chewing on her lip and playing with her fingers.

  Am I really your girlfriend now?

  "Ya, I mean if you want to be. Why? Do you not want to be? Remember what I told you, Ava. You never have to do anything you don't want to do." She looks pretty upset and I start worrying maybe I was wrong. Maybe Ava isn't ready for this. I sit up and look down at her.

  It's not that Mason, I do want to.

  I'm a little embarrassed how relieved I am at her answer. “Then what is it, baby?" I pull her over onto my lap and stroke her hair. "What's wrong?"

  Don't get mad ok? But I'm worried that our parents will get mad if they know. And Anson too. I think Anson would be mad.

  "Ya, I know, I was just laying here thinking the same thing and trying to figure out if it'd be better to ahead and tell them now and get it over with, or if we should keep quiet about it."

  Could we keep quiet about it?

  "I mean we could, but I'm not sure we should. They are gonna find out eventually and it'll probably be worse to find out we were hiding it"

  But maybe we could just hide it for a little while? What if they make us break up?

  She stares up at me with big green eyes. "They can't make us do anything Ava."

  They could send you back to your mom or to a school somewhere else. Couldn't they?

  "I guess they could, but I don't think they would. They would just get mad probably" I wish I sounded surer but honestly I don't know what they would do. I look down at ava and she looks so vulnerable and worried. I rub my thumb over her lips and stroke her hair.

  "We don't have to say anything right now ok. But let's try not to hide it very long. She smiles a huge relieved smile and leans up to kiss me.

  "Ok" she whispers softly. I grin at her.

  "Ok get up, let me go take a quick shower and get dressed and we will go see if your mom will let us go for a ride." Ava jumps up and I gather up clothes and head to the shower. When I get out Ava has made the bed and is sitting in the middle of it playing on her phone.

  "C'mon I'm hungry, let’s eat breakfast first. She rolls her eyes and giggles as I pull her up. Now that I've brushed my teeth and gotten rid of any morning mouth, I feel it's safe enough to give Ava a proper good morning kiss. One kiss leads to two, then three and pretty soon I'm pretty damned tempted to just stay up here and make out all day. Fuck breakfast. Finally, I manage to pull away from Ava's mouth and drag her pouting, down the stairs to the dining room. Kate and Dad are at their usual spots at the table, but Jack and Oliver are in here too. We’re welcomed with a chorus of good mornings.

  "Good morning Mason! Good morning Ava!" Dad says cheerfully.

  "Good morning Mason, Good morning Ava." Jack and Oliver mumble simultaneously both with their mouth full. I swear I still can't tell those two apart.

  "Baby you’re up! How did you sleep? Good morning Mason! You're up awfully early for a Saturday" Kate laughs and greets us both. Ava gives a cheerful wave and starts putting food on her plate.

  "Good morning," I say. Then I focus on Kate. "Ava woke me up, she apparently doesn't believe in sleeping late. We were thinking of going for a ride if that's ok with you" Kate frowns a little.

  "Well actually Andrew and I were talking, and we would really love if we could spend the day as a family. It's so rare that we are all home and available at the same time, besides dinners of course." My dad folds his paper and lays it aside laughing.

  "Kate thinks it’s time we city slickers learn to ride" The boys let out a shriek.

  "Really! Can we really? Are we gonna learn to ride TODAY?! When? Right now?" they are obviously on board with Dad and Kate's plan and they bombard them with questions. Kate giggles this girlish giggle that sounds so damn much like Ava.

  "We thought maybe a short trail ride and then a picnic and maybe some fishing? How does that sound?" she turns to Ava and says hopefully "I've been wanting to do this, but I didn't want to leave you out, baby. Since you and I have ridden several times over the last week or so I thought maybe you would feel comfortable enough to ride with the family?"

  Ya, that sounds fun Mom. Could Mason and I maybe go later or tomorrow instead?

  Kate grins "Sure I don't see why not!" She claps her hands a few times. That’s another thing I notice Ava has picked up from her mom. It's a cute habit. "This is going to be so fun! I'll have May go wake Anson and Erica up and tell them to get ready. And I'll have Gladys make us a nice picnic lunch." She looks at Andrew.

  "I think I'll have one of the stable boys drive everything up there that way we don't have to try carrying it all. What do you think?" He kisses her cheek.

  "Sounds perfect, Honey" he answers. An hour later we are all ready to go, Anson and Erica look a little grumpy and tired but everyone else seems excited about the outing. After breakfast Ava ran upstairs and changed into some tight jeans and boots. I'm trying really fucking hard not to stare at her ass in those jeans. Something tells me this is going to be a long fucking day.

  "How long are we gonna be gone?" Erica mumbles “I have homework" Dad doesn't even answer. He just shoots her a look that has her rolling her eyes and looking away. I try to figure out what's up with her and Anson. Did they get into a fight? Or are they pissed because they would rather be off alone somewhere? We walk down to the stables and several of the stable hands lead the horses out, they are already saddled up. After a brief lesson we are all on the horses and ready to go.

  "I'll lead and Anson you ride last that way you can make sure no one falls behind Ok" Kate instructs us. Anson gives a curt nod and we head out of the gate.

  The ride is actually pretty nice. We ride through fields with flowers and we follow a little creek for a while. We even go into a wooded area which with the Texas heat the shade is such a fucking relief. It's still hot even though it’s the middle of September. Most of the trail is wide enough we can ride by twos, in some places it narrows down and we go single file. One twin rides with Dad, one with Kate, I ride beside Ava and Erica rides beside Anson. I glance back a few times and they don't look like they are fighting. I guess they were probably grumpy because they wanted to be alone. The twins scare away any wildlife that may be around with their loud laughter and chatter but what the fuck do I care. I'm not here to look at rabbits and shit. Ava's having fun, laughing and being silly and I'm just happy to be with her. About halfway through the ride, the trail widens, and dad drops back to the other side of Ava and the three of us ride together for a while. I haven't ever really spent much quality time with my dad, but I can see that he's making an effort. He asks about school and the classes I'm taking and how I like Texas.

  This wasn't my first choice of how to spend a Saturday, but hell it could be a lot worse. I see a break in the trees, and we come out to a giant pond surrounded by trees. I don't know the names of all the trees, the only kinds I recognize are the pine trees and weeping willow trees. I'm really surprised by the view in front of me. I don't know what I expected but it's not this. Ok, I do know what I expected. I expected like a ‘roughing it type’ of picnic and fishing experience. I should have known better. There is a good-sized pavilion set up off to one side. It has a concrete floor and a roof
. Fans are hanging from the beams so at least there is a nice breeze. I see lots of string lights strung all around so obviously this is used as a party area sometimes anyway. There are six picnic tables under the Pavilion. Off on the opposite side is a little stone building that Kate explains is the bathroom facilities. Whoever brought our stuff out set up the tables with red and white checkered plastic tablecloths. There are coolers with iced down drinks. Our fishing poles and stuff is off to one side of the pavilion. There are benches and chairs scattered all around the pond. I don't see any food anywhere for a picnic but we just had breakfast so I guess they will bring the food out later.

  Kate and Andrew help the twins get down and tie up their horses and Anson helps Erica; Ava and I tie our horses up together. We take turns going into the bathrooms. There are four bathrooms, two marked - girls and two marked - boys, which reinforce my idea that this is used for parties. After we wash up, we grab drinks and go get our fishing poles. I don't think I've ever fished a day in my life so I'm completely clueless as to what to do. I guess dad knows how to fish because he walks up to me with the twins trailing behind him.

  "Ok Mason I'll show you how to string and bait the hook." He looks at Ava.

  "Do you bait your own hook? I know your mom does" Ava makes a disgusted face at him and shakes her head no. Dad laughs.

  "Ok Mason, I'll show you how and you can help Ava with hers. It looks like Anson is showing Erica." Kate walks up and starts helping the twins while Dad is showing me what to do. Before long we are spread out and Ava is showing me how to "cast a line." We halfheartedly fish but spend most of the time goofing off. The boys want to fish with Anson and me so they kinda tag along wherever we go. Pretty soon Erica and Anson give up on the idea of being alone and join in the fun. It's not long before they are laughing and goofing off too.

  The six of us are on one side of the pond and Dad and Kate are halfway around the other side.

  "I'm not going over there again" Jack stomps around grumbling. He just got back from getting us more worms.