Only the Lost

by Amanda M. Lee

  Cillian and Aidan were lighter than Cormack and Redmond, so it made sense they would be the ones to crawl forward. Aidan made it down to Aisling first, and grabbed Braden’s left wrist to ease the tension on his sister’s arms.

  “I’ve got him.”

  “I’ve got him, too,” Cillian called from the other side.

  “Let go, Aisling,” Cormack instructed. “You don’t have to hold on any longer.”

  Aisling ignored him. “Just pull.”

  Cormack heaved a sigh. “Fine. Be stubborn.” He ordered everyone to pull at once. For a second it didn’t appear the effort would work. Braden remained where he was. Then, as if by magic, everyone grunted together and dragged Braden from the precipice to safety.

  The naked emotion on both of their faces when they were reunited with the rest of the family made my heart hurt.

  I wanted to go to him, but what could I say? His sister was gone because of me. I should’ve pulled Aisling, rather than Paris, back. I could’ve saved them both. Instead, I reacted on instinct ... and now Aisling was gone. The odds of her returning weren’t good. And even if she did return she wouldn’t be the same. She would be one of the creatures hunting us as we tried to figure out how to end them.

  What would it be like? Would it be another sixty years? Would Griffin even be alive? I had my doubts. And what about Oliver? He couldn’t be turned into a revenant. What was his fate?

  I risked a glance at Brett and found him focused on the computer. He wasn’t as familiar with the gate as Oliver, but he’d been around for a long time. He understood the gate, recognized the data scrolling across the screen. He wasn’t giving up.

  “Stop doing that,” he chided, never moving his eyes to my face. “We’ll get them back.”

  He sounded certain. “How can you believe that? You know everything we know. How are we supposed to get them back?”

  “I don’t know, but we will.” He patted the open chair next to his. “Sit. You haven’t eaten since breakfast. I’m afraid you’re going to fall down.”

  I sank into the chair and slid low. “This is my fault.”

  “Nonsense. We don’t know why this happened. Aisling isn’t dead. And she isn’t alone. Oliver will protect her.”

  “Against how many revenants? We’re assuming it’s the revenants who will intercept them on the other side of the gate. Oliver can’t hold off an army of them.”

  “No, but he’s smarter than he looks.” Brett offered me a lopsided grin and weak wink. “They’ll be okay. We need to figure out why Oliver was taken this time. I think that’s key to solving this.”

  I’d wallowed so long he was clearly ten steps ahead of me. “I don’t understand,” I said. “Why do you think that’s important?”

  “He wasn’t taken the first time. He was just as close as the rest of them, yet he was left behind. Why was he taken this time? Nothing has changed. He’s still a vampire. He can’t be recruited to their cause.”

  “Maybe it was an accident.”

  “I don’t think any of this has been an accident. We need to figure out what’s different this time.”

  That was easier said than done. Still, chasing something that might turn out to be a disappointment was better than doing nothing. “What do you want me to do?”

  PARIS LEFT WHEN THE GRIMLOCKS departed. They saw her to the other side of the bridge. They’d managed to drive across, calling in a few favors along the way. The bridge was closed down again, but it was safer to drive than boat at this point. She’d texted that she was home safe, promised she would be back the following day, and then reiterated what she’d said before: It wasn’t my fault.

  And yet it was.

  “I just can’t figure it out.” Brett stretched his arms over his head. We’d been at it for hours and he hadn’t moved a muscle. I’d been pacing for the better part of the afternoon.

  “Maybe there’s nothing to figure out,” I suggested, rolling my neck. “Maybe we can’t figure it out because we don’t have enough of the puzzle pieces to put the picture together.”

  “So ... what do you suggest?”

  I had a few ideas. Nothing I could say out loud, though. Instead, my eyes drifted to the gate.

  As if reading my mind, Brett started shaking his head. “Don’t even think about it,” he warned, his voice barely a whisper. He had the common sense not to explode in front of Braden, which I was thankful for, but the warning was obvious. “I won’t let you walk through that gate. If you try, I’ll tell your boyfriend. Do you want to completely kill him?”

  That was the last thing I wanted. Still, I couldn’t shake the idea. I was starting to believe that crossing the threshold wasn’t a death sentence. I had no idea if my magic would work over there, but I was willing to give it a try to get Aisling and Oliver back.

  While I was thinking of an argument to bring Brett around to my way of thinking, Braden left his perch and moved to my computer. “I need to call home and I would prefer doing it via video chat,” he said dully. “Can I use your computer?”

  I nodded as I watched him sit. He was listless and broken-hearted, scenes spent with his sister rolling through his head at a fantastic rate. Some of the memories were funny, others mean. All of them now tragic.

  “Go ahead,” I supplied.

  Brett and I went back to staring at the computer screen. We obviously couldn’t continue our conversation with Braden so close. I was thankful for the reprieve and started building arguments in my head as Braden called home.

  Redmond answered the call. “Anything?”

  “No,” Braden replied. “They’re still looking, but they can’t find anything. They don’t want me to know that, but it’s obvious. What’s going on there?”

  Redmond was grim. “Nothing good. Griffin tried to take the baby and leave.”

  “To go where?”

  “Home. He’s angry at all of us and wants to shut us out. I don’t want to say that he’s trying to punish us, but that’s what it feels like.”

  “He’s not punishing us,” Braden countered. “He’s ... grieving. He wants to go after Aisling more than anything, but knows he can’t leave Lily. I mean ... she wouldn’t even have a memory of him if he crossed over and couldn’t come back.”

  “I know that. He’s just ... out of it. Dad stopped him from leaving by reminding him that the revenants were still out there and he couldn’t protect Lily without help. Griffin yelled, called him a few names, and then locked himself in the nursery with the baby. He won’t allow any of us to see her.”

  “Maybe that’s for the best,” Braden suggested. “He needs time to get his emotions under control. It’s not as if he’s going to hurt Lily. After a few hours with her he might come to his senses.”

  Redmond’s expression reflected doubt. “I don’t think that’s going to happen. I’m not a psychologist or anything, but I think he’s angry ... and not just at Izzy. I think he’s mad at Dad ... and us ... and even Lily.”

  I kept my lips zipped.

  “Why would he be angry at Lily?” Braden challenged. “She’s a baby. She obviously didn’t cause this.”

  “No, but she’s the reason he can’t go after Aisling. That’s what he really wants to do. He’ll always question whether he could’ve done something if he doesn’t go, and yet he knows he can’t. Aisling would never forgive him if he left Lily. I’m afraid he’s going to break.”

  “He won’t.” Braden was matter-of-fact. “He’s strong. That’s the only way he could take on Aisling and match her fire. He’s upset. We’re all upset.”

  Redmond agreed. “Dad is just as much a mess as Griffin, although he’s trying to hide it. You should know that if we don’t come up with anything by morning he’s resolved to go through the gate himself. He’s going to go after Aisling.”

  “I know. He would do it for any of us.”

  “He would. I’m just afraid that it’s already too late for Aisling, and then we’d be giving up Dad. I don’t know how we get through this.” Red
mond’s voice cracked. “It’s too much. I know that Mom dying felt like it was too much, but we had each other. We’re splintering now. I just ... I don’t know that I can take this. I keep hoping I’ll wake up from a bad dream.”

  “We can only take it a step at a time,” Braden said. “I just wanted you to know that I won’t be home tonight. I’m staying here with Izzy.”

  “Are you sure that’s wise? Don’t you want to spend some time with Dad?”

  “I still think we’ll find a way out of this so he won’t have to cross over. I want to see Dad. I can’t leave, though. If I do, Izzy will cross over and sacrifice herself to get Aisling and Oliver back. I have to watch her.”

  My mouth dropped open as dumbfounded disbelief washed over me. “How ... ?” I didn’t finish the sentence.

  Braden replied. “You’re not going across. We’ll figure out another way.”

  “See.” Brett extended a finger in Braden’s direction. “He’s smarter than he looks. We’re going to find a way. In fact ... .” He broke off when the alert on the third computer started beeping.

  I was on my feet and in front of the computer before anyone else could react.

  “What is it?” Braden asked, his hands resting on the desk as he prepared himself for battle. “Is it the revenants?”

  I furrowed my brow as I tried to work out what I was seeing on the security feeds. “I don’t think so ... unless they suddenly learned to drive. There’s a van on the bridge. I’m not sure how the driver managed that with traffic blocked at the far end.”

  “A van? What kind of van?”

  “I’m not sure.” I squinted to make out the writing on the side of the van, my heart clenching when I read it. “It says ‘Get Baked’ and there’s a giant peach cupcake on the side of it.”

  “Ugh.” Braden briefly shut his eyes before recovering. “Jerry.”

  “He’s coming for Aisling,” I surmised. “He’s going to try to go through the gate.”

  “We need to intercept him.” Braden sighed as he stood, his eyes flicking back to Redmond. “Tell Aidan we have his fiancé and we’ll keep him safe. I’ll send Jerry back as soon as I can.”

  “I’ll send Dad and Aidan to you,” Redmond corrected. “Nobody but them will be able to talk Jerry down. You know that.”

  “I do, but I don’t think they’ll be enough.”

  “Just keep him from doing something stupid,” Redmond instructed.

  Twenty-Six

  Aisling had brought Jerry with her to the aquarium on more than one occasion when trying to talk me into a frivolous lunch. He was familiar with the set-up and already messing with the card reader on the front door when we found him.

  “Oh, good, you’re here.” His expression was hard to read, but I sensed trouble. “I need to get to the gate.”

  “Why are you going to the gate?” I asked. I already knew the answer, but I wanted to hear him say it.

  “I’m going after Aisling.”

  I had to hand it to him. He wasn’t good at subtlety, and finesse was out of the question. He put it out there and didn’t care who argued with him.

  “Jerry ... .” I licked my lips. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to say to him.

  “You can’t stop me, Izzy.” His lower lip quivered and almost undid me. “I’m going after my best friend. No one — and I mean no one — can stop me.”

  I opened my mouth to argue but no sound would come out. I was completely at a loss.

  “Come on, Jerry.” Braden slid around me and put his hand on Jerry’s shoulder, prodding him inside the building. “We’ll get you something to drink and have a talk.”

  “You can talk all you want. I’m still going through that gate to get Aisling.”

  “We’ll talk,” Braden repeated. “There are a few things you need to know before you head over. The other side of the gate is ... different ... from anything you’ve ever seen.”

  “Wait ... you’re not going to argue with me?” Jerry was instantly suspicious.

  “I’m not going to argue with you. I want to make sure you’re prepared. You’ll die within five seconds if you’re not.”

  I didn’t miss the way Jerry’s face paled or how hard he swallowed at the words. Braden was using psychological warfare on him and Jerry was oblivious. That didn’t mean he was going to simply forget about his best friend. Instead, he squared his shoulders. “Anything you can tell me will be good.”

  “Great.” Braden feigned excitement. “Come downstairs. I have a lot to tell you.”

  I UNDERSTOOD BRADEN WAS stalling. He was keeping Jerry busy with horror stories of what lived beyond the gate until Aidan and Cormack could get to the island. By pretending to go along with Jerry’s wild idea, he was keeping him safe.

  “Then, when you get to the cliff, you have to make sure that the revenants hiding in the trees don’t get you,” Braden said, somber. “You need to make yourself as small as possible, as quiet as possible, and keep away from the sheer cliff edge. If you fall over that cliff, there’s no coming back and there’s not much room to maneuver in that area. Have you got it?”

  Jerry was so white you could almost see through him. He nodded. “Got it.”

  I wanted to sigh ... and then throttle him. The Grimlocks were loyal to a fault. They attracted people who displayed the same type of fervent loyalty. Jerry wasn’t a Grimlock by blood, but he’d been adopted into the family long before he became engaged to Aidan, and he was a Grimlock in his heart. No matter how frightened, he was determined to go after Aisling.

  I had to admire him for his dedication ... even if I was certain he would be killed within five seconds on the other side.

  I was never so relieved as when I heard footsteps at the door and turned to find Cormack and Aidan standing there. They both looked exhausted, beaten down by life. They also looked exasperated ... and broken-hearted.

  “What are you doing here?” Jerry was on his feet. “You called them!” He swung on me with a viciousness that would’ve been surprising under different circumstances.

  “I called them, Jerry,” Braden countered. “In fact, I was in the middle of a video call with Redmond when we realized you were here. We knew what you had planned. I told Redmond to send Aidan and Dad before we even saw you.”

  Jerry narrowed his eyes to slits. “And I thought you were really trying to help me by explaining what to expect on the other side. I knew I shouldn’t have trusted you.”

  Braden held up his hands. “I’m sorry. Aisling would never forgive me if I let you cross to the other side.”

  “Aisling won’t be around to be angry if you don’t let me go,” Jerry barked.

  “I can’t let you go.” Braden was firm. “We’re going to get her back. I promise you that. I just ... you’re going to be needed here when it finally happens. Who do you think she’s going to want to see more than anyone?”

  “Griffin,” Jerry replied without hesitation. “And then Lily ... and then her father, because he’s going to spoil her ... and then me. I’m not an idiot. I know I’m not at the top of her list any longer. That doesn’t mean I’m not going to get her.”

  Cormack cleared his throat, drawing Jerry’s eyes to him. “You’ll always be at the top of her list.” He looked pained as he took a step toward the obviously crumbling man. “Aisling loves you, Jerry. She’s always loved you. When she brought you home from kindergarten that first time — I swear — she loved you that very first day. She’s always loved you and that’s never going to change.”

  “That’s why I have to find her,” Jerry sniffled. “She needs me. I can’t live without her.”

  Cormack was adamant. “Tomorrow morning, I’m going through the gate to get her. It’s already settled.”

  Even though I was aware of his plan, I couldn’t tolerate the idea. Cormack was needed here. His family would fall apart without him. He couldn’t be the one to go through the gate. We had to figure out another way ... just as soon as we got Jerry home.

  “Then I�
��ll go with you.” Jerry refused to back down. “It will be better if there are two of us.”

  “I don’t know that I believe that, Jerry,” Cormack hedged. “We can’t guarantee that we’ll be able to cross back over. There’s a chance I won’t come back. There’s a chance Aisling won’t either. I’ll find her and make sure the revenants can’t keep her ... and then we’ll go to our final destinations if we have to.”

  Jerry immediately started shaking his head. “No. I want her back here.”

  Aidan stirred. “We all want her back here, Jerry.” His voice was ragged and I could tell he’d been crying for the better part of the night. “We’d all cross the gate threshold to get to her and make sure she’s okay. But she wouldn’t want that.”

  Jerry was incensed. “Are you kidding? There’s nothing Bug wouldn’t like more than knowing we were all willing to die to get her. She likes being the center of our universe. She’ll be fine if we all go over.

  “And, while I don’t believe staying on the other side will be necessary, I can live with it if it is,” he continued. “I just can’t lose her. She needs me ... and I need her.”

  “And I need you,” Aidan pointed out. “I need my sister, but I need you, too, Jerry. We’re trying to come up with the best possible outcome and this is what we’ve landed at.

  “Lily cannot cross over,” he continued. “Griffin has to stay with Lily. Maya has to stay with Griffin because that’s her brother and he needs her. Cillian can’t make it without Maya. It’s a house of cards that could fall at any second. We’re doing the best we can. I’m sorry it’s not good enough for you.”

  Jerry murdered Aidan with the darkest look in his repertoire. “Nothing is good enough for me until we get Aisling back.”

  Instead of exerting the infinite patience I’d gotten used to with Aidan, the man absolutely exploded. “We’re doing the best we can, Jerry! I’ve known her longer than any of you, loved her longer. We’re connected in ways you can’t understand.