Only the Lost

by Amanda M. Lee

  “We don’t know what to do,” he bellowed, his voice cracking. “We don’t know if it’s already too late. We don’t know if we can bring her back. We don’t know if we’re sacrificing our father for nothing or there’s a chance he can find her. All we know is that you’re making things harder for all of us.”

  I didn’t realize tears were coursing down my cheeks until I tried to breathe and discovered my nose was stuffed. I let loose a soft gasp, fighting the urge to sink to the ground and bury my head as Braden slid an arm around my waist. He was as wrecked as any of us, but he was determined to hold it together.

  “I can’t just leave her.” Jerry refused to back down, even in the face of Aidan’s misery. “She needs me.”

  “She needs all of us,” another voice offered from the doorway.

  I was stunned when I turned and found Griffin there. His hair was a mess, his eyes red and puffy. I was certain he might fall over at any moment because of the grief enrobing him like a suit of armor. He remained standing, though, and headed straight for Jerry.

  “What are you doing here?” Cormack asked, confused. “Where is Lily?”

  “She’s with Cillian and Maya.” Griffin didn’t meet his father-in-law’s concerned gaze. “I heard the commotion in the hallway after Redmond got off the call with Braden. I heard what was going on and I knew I had to come. Aisling would ... she would ... .” The tears were back clogging his voice.

  “Aisling would want you to take care of him,” Cormack finished knowingly. “She’d want all of us to take care of him. The thing is, son, she’d want us to take care of you, too. I need you to let me help you. I want to spend some time with Lily back at the house. I ... just need to see her.”

  Griffin nodded as he collected himself. “I’m sorry about that. I just needed a few hours.”

  “I know.” Cormack squeezed his shoulder. “I’m sorry all of this happened. You’ll never know how sorry I am. I shouldn’t have sent her here. I thought I was so clever keeping her out of trouble that I sent her into the abyss instead of protecting her. I just ... I’m so sorry.”

  Griffin’s gaze turned keen. “It’s not your fault. I agreed to the plan. She was going to do what she was going to do. It made sense at the time.”

  “I’m going to get her,” Cormack promised. “I’m going to bring her back ... to you ... and to Lily ... and to Jerry ... and Aidan. I’m going to bring her back for myself.”

  “I know you are.” The two men held each other’s gaze for a long time before Griffin turned back to Jerry. “You have to stay with me. Aisling would want that. I promised her I would always take care of you if something happened. She promised you would always take care of me. We’re going to need each other ... and Lily definitely needs her favorite uncle.”

  Jerry, although obviously touched by the “favorite uncle” bit, didn’t look convinced. “I can’t just leave her.”

  “We’re not leaving her,” Griffin reiterated. “We’re preparing for tomorrow, when we’re going to get her back. I need you with me for that.”

  For a moment I thought Jerry would continue putting up a fight. Instead, he nodded in defeat and threw his arms around Griffin’s neck.

  There, in the middle of the room where his wife had disappeared, Griffin comforted her best friend. His heart was broken, his strength waning, yet he did the one thing his wife would’ve wanted more than anything. He stood as a pillar for her family, and no matter where she was, she had reason to be proud.

  AFTER CORMAC, AIDAN, GRIFFIN AND JERRY LEFT, Brett went back to studying the data and I returned to my pacing. We didn’t have much time before Cormack would slip through the gate. I wanted to come up with a plan that would guarantee his safety.

  I paced by the duffel bag on the desk at least twenty times before I noticed it. When I did, I slowed my pace. Without thinking, I opened it and peered inside. “Where did this come from?” I asked.

  Jerry brought it,” Braden replied. He was watching Brett work, which was probably annoying to the vampire, but Braden had been invigorated by witnessing his fractured family join together and he was now determined to help. “I don’t know what’s in there.”

  It was a hodgepodge of assorted items I couldn’t quite wrap my head around. “I wonder what he planned to do with this stuff,” I mused, pulling each item out in turn. There was a flashlight, a huge knife, a frying pan — perhaps for all the cooking they would have to do on the other side — and a rope. There was also a survival magazine that looked as if it had been purchased recently, extra clothes and a bag of cupcakes.

  “At least he was prepared.” I pulled out the cupcakes and stared at them. “There are sharks on them.”

  “Jerry probably made them special for Aisling,” Braden volunteered. “He’s an excellent baker ... and Aisling is an excellent eater.”

  “Yeah.” Absently, I drew out the rope and stared at it. Then, slowly, an idea formed and I glanced toward the gate.

  “What are you thinking?” Brett asked. It was obvious he’d been watching me and picked up on the change in my mood.

  “I don’t know.” I played with the end of the rope. “I’m thinking that maybe Jerry had a good idea.”

  “About crossing to the other side and giving Aisling cupcakes?” Braden challenged. “Yeah, I think that’s the best idea he’s ever had. He still would’ve died.”

  “Not that part.” I waved off the comment. “Jerry definitely should not cross over. I don’t think your father should either.”

  Braden’s eyes went dark as he looked at me. “You’re not going over. Before you even suggest it, know that I will fight you on that. It’s not going to happen.”

  “I hate to point out the obvious, but you’re not the boss of me.”

  “You’re not going!” Braden stomped his foot. “I won’t allow it.”

  “Smooth,” Brett intoned. “That’s exactly how to get her to agree to what you want. Talk down to her like you’re the boss and she has no say. Women love that.”

  Braden shot him a withering look. “You can’t tell me that you think it’s a good idea for her to go.”

  “I don’t,” Brett conceded. “But neither one of us can truly stop her if she makes up her mind. We have to talk to her rationally if we expect her to change her mind.”

  “Do you think talking about me as if I’m not here is talking to me rationally?” I barked. “Speaking of things I don’t like, that’s right up there.”

  “I apologize for the grievous error,” Brett deadpanned. “If you run toward that gate, though, I will stop you. I know I said that I won’t be able to stop you in the long haul — and I mostly agree that’s true — but I will stop you tonight. You’re not going over.”

  Oh, but I was. “I have to. Cormack can’t be the one. He doesn’t know what to expect on the other side. I do. I’ve already seen it ... because the gate wanted me to see it.”

  Braden growled. “You keep acting as if that vision was shown to you on purpose. What if it wasn’t? What if it was just something that happened?”

  “None of this just simply happened.” I pressed my tongue against the back of my teeth and rolled my neck back and forth until it cracked. “All of this has been by design. The gate — or rather someone on the other side of the gate — knew something bad was about to happen. They tried to show me, but I didn’t understand.”

  “Didn’t understand what?” Braden was beyond frustrated. “What makes you think you can cross over and come back?”

  “I have a plan.” I held up the rope by way of proof. “I’m going to the other side, but I’m going to remain anchored to you. It will be a way of keeping a foot in both worlds.”

  “But ... that rope is only about fifteen feet long. That won’t allow you to get very far.”

  “It will if I magically extend it,” I replied, unruffled. “The rope will work.”

  Braden looked pained. “And how can you be sure you’ll be allowed back?”

  “I’m a Bruja. I wear the
mask of the dead when using my magic. I can pass as one of them. It was always supposed to be me.”

  Braden continued to shake his head, but I could already see the resignation settling in the depths of his lavender eyes. He knew he couldn’t stop me. There was legitimate fear there ... and a small kernel of hope. I decided to stoke the hope.

  “We need to figure this out,” I ordered, moving back toward Brett. “We need to come up with a definitive plan ... and we need to do it in the next two hours, because that’s when I’m going in.”

  “What? No!” Braden’s eyebrows flew up his forehead. “We need to think about this overnight.”

  “No.” I knew what had to be done now and was unwilling to wait longer. “The more time we take, the more danger Aisling is in. I’m going over in two hours. I plan to be back well before your father arrives to go through the gate on his own trip. That’s the best thing for all of us.”

  “It might not be the best thing for you,” Braden persisted.

  “It will be absolutely fine.” I felt that to my very marrow. “I promise everything will work out. You need to trust me. Do you think you can do that?”

  “I’ve already trusted you with my heart. I really need you not to break it.”

  “I feel the same way. This will work. We just have to iron out the details.”

  Twenty-Seven

  We couldn’t plan for every contingency. It was impossible. We tried to work out as many as we could. By four in the morning, I was ready.

  “You should get some sleep first,” Braden insisted. He almost sounded desperate.

  “No. Your father will be here soon. I need to be on the other side when that happens so he can’t cross.” I was insistent ... and committed to my plan. As much as it hurt me to leave him — his unease was strong enough to bowl me over — I had to try. I would never forgive myself if I didn’t.

  “You don’t know that my father won’t follow you anyway,” Braden pointed. “Even when I tell him what you’ve done, he might come after you.”

  I’d considered that. “You’re in charge of making sure that doesn’t happen.” I slid my eyes to Brett as he approached with the rope. “Tie it around my waist. I’ll magically lengthen it as I go. I’ll send magic through the rope if I need you to start pulling.”

  “We’ve already been over this.” Brett was calm, but I saw the storm behind his eyes. “I’m not sure I should let you do this, but I do think it’s our best shot, so ... don’t even think of staying over there.”

  “I have no intention of staying.” I meant it. “I will be back.” I held Braden’s eyes when I said the last bit.

  He jerked me to him, his arms banding around me as he buried his face in my hair. “Don’t leave me. Please. I just ... don’t do it.”

  I felt caught. “I’m not leaving you. I’m retrieving your sister and Oliver, and then coming back.” I held him tight because he needed it. “I will be back. I swear it.”

  In truth, that was a vow I couldn’t make. I had no way of knowing what I would find on the other side. In my heart, though, I felt I could pull this off. If I didn’t make the attempt we would eventually be torn apart by different circumstances. He didn’t realize that now, couldn’t wrap his head around it, but I understood what we were truly facing ... and it wasn’t good.

  “I’m coming back,” I whispered as I rubbed my cheek against his. “Before you know it, we’ll be sitting around an omelet bar listening to your sister’s tall tales about what she saw over there.”

  He didn’t let go. I could feel tears on my face and recognized they were coming from him. Finally, he pulled back enough to stare into my eyes. The despair I found in his was almost enough to bring me to my knees.

  “I love you,” his voice cracked. “I ... love ... you so much.”

  I was struck silent. Then I was angry and smacked his arm. “I can’t believe you just said that!”

  His wounded eyes opened wider. “I said it because I felt it.”

  “This isn’t the moment for that. We’re not trapped in a movie. That should be said when we’re alone, in the middle of a romantic moment. I just ... you’re unbelievable.”

  Now, instead of morose sadness, I felt anger vibrating through him. That was preferable to the fear. “I can say ‘I love you’ when I want to say it. I mean it, too. I love you and you’re coming back.”

  I managed to crack a smile. “I am coming back. I’m not saying it back until we’re together again ... and alone.”

  Brett leaned closer to Braden. “Basically that was an ‘I love you, too’ whether you realize it or not.”

  Braden nodded, his eyes going fierce. “If you’re going to do this, now is the time. We’ll be here, waiting, and ready to pull. Tell my sister when you see her that I’m going to beat the crap out of her for causing all this fuss.”

  This time the smile I managed was genuine. “You can tell her that yourself when we get back.”

  Braden grabbed my chin and gave me a fierce kiss. I was nearly gasping when we parted.

  “I really do love you,” he murmured.

  Brett grabbed my arm and directed me toward the gate, perhaps fearful our goodbye would last forever if we weren’t forced to separate. “Don’t dilly-dally,” he ordered. “Find them and get out. Even if you think you can find answers about the revenants, this is a search-and-rescue mission, nothing more.”

  I nodded as I gripped Braden’s hand a moment longer and then moved toward the steps. “Keep your hands on the rope even if you get bored,” I insisted. “I don’t want you guys playing solitaire or something when you’re supposed to be pulling ... and don’t start pulling until I signal you. That could be bad.”

  “We’ve got it.” Brett gave me an impulsive hug when we reached the top of the platform. “Bring Oliver back.”

  “I’m bringing them both back.”

  I SHOULD’VE BEEN NERVOUS approaching the gate. I was about to cross into the land of the dead. While nerves were present, they weren’t the overriding emotion coursing through me. No, that was love. Love for Braden ... his sister ... Oliver ... this life. I wanted it all back the way it should be and nothing was going to stop me from getting it.

  I extended my fingers when I reached the shimmering surface, furrowing my brow as I slid them through the barrier. I expected pain, maybe a jolt of electricity. Instead, all I felt was a vague itch.

  “I’ll see you soon.” I glanced over my shoulder one more time, met Braden’s glassy gaze, and then pushed forward.

  Passing through the barrier was like walking through a lightning bolt. It didn’t hurt, but it was bright. It took almost three seconds before I reached the other side, and when I emerged from the blinding light I found myself on the same cliff I’d seen in my vision. Nothing had changed, which made sense because this wasn’t a room that needed redecorating.

  The first thing I noticed was the pallor of the atmosphere. Our world was painted in vibrant colors, a sun high in the sky. There were no sun or clouds here, and yet it was as if I’d been trapped in an overcast day, all gloom and depressing grays.

  There was nothing else to focus on in the area, so I ignored the cliff and looked toward the woods. In the vision, the movement came from that direction. There was no place else to go but over the cliff, so that’s the direction I headed.

  It didn’t take long to reach the tree line. I tested the rope with each extension I made. It held strong, the magic I doused it with glowing bright. That was the only hint of color in this world and I was grateful for it. The sparkling rope reminded me that I had a tie to the other, no matter how tenuous.

  I poked my head into the trees to look around. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting — more trees, maybe some excited morel hunters — but instead I found myself looking at the interior of a brightly-lit cave. I was so surprised I jerked my head out and glanced around, convinced I was imagining things. When everything appeared normal at the tree line, I poked my head in again.

  Yup. It was a cave. R
oots poked through the roof, which was higher than I felt it should’ve been, and rocks jutted from the walls. As far as caves went, it was fairly posh. Er, well, at least it had elevated ceilings.

  “You’re late.”

  I jolted at the voice, jerking my head to the left, to a large room where a rectangular table sat. There, sitting at the head of it, was the dirtiest man I’d ever seen. His hair was long, a Duck Dynasty beard full of what looked to be twigs and leaves on full display. His eyes were a clear blue that reminded me of a summer day spent at the seaside. And his face ... well, his face was completely normal, other than the huge and creepy smile spread across it.

  “Are you talking to me?” I asked finally.

  He nodded. “Please come and sit down. We don’t have much time before you go back.”

  This was the strangest conversation I’d ever taken part in and it had barely started. “Why do you have a cave in what’s supposed to be woods?” I asked, taking the final step and completely entering the dark space. “I saw people moving through here in my vision ... and I’m fairly certain they weren’t in a cave.”

  “There are many different realities,” he replied. “Some beings travel to and from their homes. I take my home with me wherever I go. You’re right in ascertaining that things aren’t normally like this. I’ve ... taken over ... for a bit. Things will revert to normal shortly.”

  “Uh-huh.” I was leery as I moved toward the table. I had several questions. I went for the one I cared about most first. “Where are Aisling and Oliver? Do you have them?”

  “I do.”

  I waited for him to expound. When he didn’t, I pushed harder. “Can I have them?”

  “All in due time.” He patted the seat next to him. “We need to have a talk, Isabella Sage. Once that is complete, I will give you those who you came for and send you on your way.”

  He looked crazy, but sounded so reasonable. It was a weird total package.

  “I want to see them,” I countered. “If you allow me to see them I’ll sit and talk to you.”