Fairy Slayer

by Logan Jacobs

  “What guild are you from?” she asked as she looked me up and down.

  “Guild?” I hesitated. If I said yes, I could easily explain away my newfound magic. If I said no, there would probably be a lot of questions headed my direction. But then again, if I said yes, that was a pretty easy lie to get caught in. “I’m not from a guild.”

  “Alright, so we’ve got a rogue human with a hero complex in our midst. Just what I need today.” Her tone was annoyed, but I felt a hint of appreciation in it, and I caught the tiniest upturn of her lips as she turned down the street. “Come on, HC, you’re coming with me.”

  One long pale hand waved me in her direction, and then she turned and walked away. Her leather boots crunched down the street when she stepped, and she managed to snap three more pictures of the damage and death before I caught up to her.

  “HC?” I asked. On any other day, I’d probably be pretty damn wary of following an arrow-wielding stranger down a desolated street, but this wasn’t any other day. Besides, I was really hoping she wouldn’t be a stranger for long.

  Those eyes glanced at me again, and one thin eyebrow rose in amusement.

  “Yeah, Hero Complex.”

  I waited for her to explain further, but she didn’t. She just kept walking those long legs down the street as she snapped pictures and surveyed the damage.

  “But my name’s--”

  “Don’t care. I’m calling you HC.” She nodded in a way that let me know resistance would be futile.

  “Right. Okay. Then I should at least know your name.” I gave her my most charming grin, the one that normally did a girl in.

  “Fair enough. It’s Ariette.” She paused for a minute as we came across a cafe storefront that had its window completely smashed in.

  The surrounding brick held it together, but the same could not be said for the interior. Electrical lines swung in the air and sparks of blue electricity crackled off their ends. The broken television in the back played a very pixelated version of the classic Elven commercial that had been all over television since before I was born.

  The smile of the friendly Elf as she talked to a group of humans about their so-called autonomy in this new age was distorted by broken pixels and gray stripes. The teeth that were supposed to shine now seemed dull and the cheery face was decidedly terrifying as it looked out from the screen over a room full of mangled bodies and spilled coffee.

  “These damn Unseelie,” Ariette muttered under her breath. “Pointless bloodshed, and for what? Just to prove they still matter?”

  I almost asked her why the Unseelie would want to cause such destruction, but then she let out an angry roar and put her fist through a section of the remaining glass. It shattered loudly, and I guessed it was the only sound to be heard for blocks. Then she pulled her hand back out of the screen and turned to face me with fire in her eyes.

  “Listen, I don’t know what your deal is here, but you’re going to stick with me until we get to the bottom of whatever’s going on. If you really killed that monster, the guild could use your power right now.”

  Her tone left no room for argument, and if I was honest, I didn’t really want to argue. Hell, I’d had more excitement in the last hour than in the last ten years of my life combined. She continued to walk down the street, and one pale hand motioned for me to follow.

  “So, Ariette, how did you get into this business of hunting down monsters and scary shit? It seems kind of--”

  “If you say dangerous for a woman, I will kick you in the balls so hard you’ll see stars.” She gritted her teeth as she threw a dangerous glare in my direction.

  “Actually,” I laughed, “I was going to say intense. If this is the kind of stuff you do often.” I threw my best, most charming smile her way, and for a moment, her hard exterior melted a bit. Then she smiled at me and put her camera down temporarily.

  “I suppose you’re right, but it’s different for me. Kind of a legacy thing. My father was a guild master, and as the only child in my family, it was just expected.”

  “So, you would rather be doing something else?” I kicked at a lone can as I asked my question to make it seem as nonchalant as possible. Truthfully, I was pretty damn interested in anything Ariette had to say.

  “Not at all.” Her long braid fell over her shoulder as she reached down to pick up a baby bottle. It was crushed in on one side, and she shook her head in sadness before she snapped her eyes up at a sound.

  A black Mustang parked across the street had its motor running, and I could barely make out a voice speaking from inside of it. Ariette must have heard the voice also, since she took two steps forward, crouched to the ground to hide behind a silver sedan, and turned to me with one warning finger pressed against her mouth. I quickly dropped my body lower to the ground, and then I crawled forward, so that I squatted next to her.

  One pale hand snaked into the belt around her waist and pulled out a tiny round recording device. She pressed the button, closed her eyes, and listened intently. I forced myself not to get distracted by her thick black lashes and listened too.

  Over the sound of the engine, my new heightened hearing could barely make out a masculine voice. It was deep and gruff, and if I had to guess, I’d say the voice belonged to a goblin.

  “Yes, sir, just how you wanted… No, he was taken down by a human… Yes, sir… Right away.” The engine revved a bit, and I heard the tires crunch what sounded like bones as the car pulled away and drove down the street.

  Ariette stood up and stowed the recorder back in her belt. Before I could say anything, she raised her palm to stop me from talking and pressed the other hand to her ear again.

  “Did you get that?” she asked. Whoever she spoke to must have said something she didn’t like because her next command was gruff. “I don’t care about that, analyze it!”

  She paused and waited for the person on the other end. The response must not have been good.

  “Dammit! Ok, well, thanks anyway, Kalista… Yeah, I’m going to look around for a little while longer. We’ll come to find you when I’m ready… The ‘we’ is me and the guy we saw. He killed that thing… Yeah, I thought it was crazy too.” Ariette’s eyes passed over me as she finished her conversation, and I heard a tiny, mechanical beep. Then she stood there for a moment longer staring at me.

  I stared right back.

  That must have amused her because she let out a soft laugh. It was light and airy, the kind of sound no human or technology could ever replicate. It was beautiful.

  “HC, you’ve got no idea what you’ve just gotten yourself into.”

  “Then, why don’t you tell me?” I asked as I smirked at the elven beauty.

  That earned another laugh, but she shook her head instead of answering me.

  “You’ll figure it out soon enough. Come on, we’ve got to get to the beginning of all this.” She waved her hand around as she referred to “all this.”

  “Why? It’s going to be the same everywhere. Blown-out buildings, lots of death, scary shit.” I shrugged it off like it didn’t bother me, but it did. I’d never seen destruction like this before. It suddenly struck me that this street looked like a war zone.

  “Clean-up crew, HC. Got to let them know what they’re in for. Your cops don’t like to come around this stuff until they know all the Fae are gone and they’ve got a body count. Come on, you take this side of the street, I’ll take that one.” She pointed across the road as she headed toward the end of the block.

  I noticed then that the next intersection was completely destruction free. The troll must have come out of a portal and charged straight down the block and destroyed everything in front of it. The juxtaposition of the clean, neat, safe block against the gory, dusty block I stood on made my war zone analogy even more relevant.

  As I made my way down the two blocks the creature had decimated, I held out hope that I’d find at least one soul, human or Fae, who was still alive. I desperately wanted to save somebody with my newfound power. But
, as I reached the end of my block and turned toward Ariette, we both shook our heads.

  There were no survivors.

  “I counted one-hundred-and-seven. What about you?” Ariette asked as she recorded her number in a tiny square watch she wore on her wrist.

  “One-hundred-and-fifty-four.”

  We both paused in silence, but it was quickly broken by the sound of wailing sirens. Three police cars and an ambulance came down the block, and each driver gave Ariette a salute as they passed. She returned it and watched as they parked along the street.

  “We should go.” Her voice was solemn as she started to head down the cross street.

  The police were cordoning off the two blocks. That seemed kind of pointless since I was sure no one was around for miles, but I wasn’t about to tell them how to do their jobs.

  “Wait.” I hesitated as I watched the police get out to pick up the dead. “Shouldn’t we help?”

  “No, we stay out of your affairs.” Ariette waited for a beat before she continued. “The dead fae will dissipate and return to magic. Your fellow humans will want to take and bury their dead in the way of your traditions. You’ve got Fae magic, so you stay out of their way, too.”

  “Oh. Okay.” I was about to follow her when I remembered who the hell I was, and why I’d been in that alley in the first place. I had to get back to my truck and finish my deliveries, or my boss would have my head. But, hey, with this Hand of Power, I could probably persuade him to be a little nicer.

  “Well, I’m going to get back to my delivery truck, then. You should give me your number, in case I’ve got any, you know, Fae related stuff I need to talk to you about.” A grin spread across my face, and as she turned, I had no doubt I was about to get my wish.

  “HC, you look a lot smarter than you’ve been acting, let me tell you.” I was almost insulted, but I saw a playful smile cross her lips. “You are in the guild now. You’re not going back to your boring human life.”

  I started to protest, but she raised a hand to cut me off.

  “We don’t let powerful magic users just wander around the human world making deliveries. They get recruited into a guild. Wherever, or however, you got that magic you used, you’re powerful. So, you are coming with me. End of discussion.”

  Her bossy attitude was kind of a turn on, and thoughts of what the gorgeous elf looked like minus the badass outfit raced through my head.

  “Uhhh,” I started to say, but then she spun around and walked away from me.

  I could say no and leave, and risk this hot warrior either kicking my ass or leaving me to never see her again. Or, I could follow her and possibly get myself killed, but have the adventure of a lifetime.

  “Alright, Ariette,” I shouted after her with a grin, “I’ll stick around to help you out. I just gotta call my boss first. Important delivery business, you know.”

  The elf didn’t look at all amused by my quip, but she did nod at me and stop to lean back against a partially destroyed brick wall.

  Quickly, I pulled out my cheap flip phone and dialed my grumpy old boss. My heart pounded slightly as the phone rang, but I forced myself to calm down. After all, I had imagined a moment like this for years. Of course, I always thought it would happen because I won the lottery and not because I was being taken by the Seelie Fae, but hey, I would take what I could get.

  “What do you need, Bailey?” Bill’s gruff voice mumbled sleepily into the phone. I must have called him during his daily afternoon nap.

  “Yeah, uh, Bill, I got some bad news,” I started.

  “I swear, Bailey, if you’re about to tell me you crashed the truck like that idiot Walter, I will--”

  “Nope, no, the truck’s fine.” I kept my voice level as I watched Ariette quirk an eyebrow at me in amusement. Of course, she could hear the conversation with her Fae hearing. I cleared my throat and looked away from her before I continued. “Look, Bill, I got myself mixed up in something down here, and I’m not going to be able to finish my route today. Actually uh… this might be my two week’s notice.”

  “Bailey, goddamn it!” Bill roared into the phone. “If you don’t get your ass back in that truck and finish those deliveries, I will fire you right now!”

  I could imagine him right now with his pudgy red face contorted with anger as he tried to crush the phone. The image made a chuckle bubble up in my throat, but I forced it back down.

  “Bill, it’s the Fae,” I muttered as I breathed in deeply. Yelling back at him wouldn’t help me right now.

  “The Fae?” Instantly, Bill’s tone shifted, and the yelling ceased.

  “Yeah, they want me to do something for them,” I replied. “They, uh, they want me to go with them.”

  “Oh, well, alright then, Bailey,” the old man stuttered into the phone, a total one-eighty from just seconds ago. “You just go and do what you need to do and, uh, you let me know if… uh, when you can come back.”

  “Alright, Bill,” I said as a smile spread across my face. “The truck’s parked outside an alley on the corner of Fourth and Main by the way.”

  “I’ll send someone to pick it up. You… you be careful out there, Bailey,” Bill added quietly. “Best to listen to them at all times, you hear?”

  Bill’s voice had gone hushed and soft, and it reminded me that people generally treated the Fae with extreme caution and wariness. With just cause, too. The Fae were insanely powerful, and in the last century, they had extended that power into almost every aspect of human life. They were kind of like Big Brother but with magic.

  “Yeah, okay,” I responded. “Thanks, Bill.”

  My boss said nothing else, and then I heard the line go dead before I turned back to Ariette.

  “He sounded nice.” Ariette laughed as she jumped up from her resting place to continue walking down the street. One pale hand motioned for me to follow, and I was powerless to resist it.

  Chapter 2

  We walked for a few minutes before I spied Ariette’s crazy looking van in a deserted McDonald’s parking lot. At least, I assumed it was the same van. It still had a shimmery sheen all around it, the windows were still pitch black, and the antennae were still there. I highly doubted there could be any other van with all three of those features, but the vehicle we were headed toward was now a dull white, and the middle of the door was pushed in like it had been t-boned by a semi-truck. There were even spots of gray and brown along the sides that made it look like it was a hundred years old and had been through a war.

  Hell, maybe it had.

  Ariette strode straight toward it, and her long legs made her pert butt jump in the most amazing way. My thoughts crashed into the gutter as I watched her walk, and it wasn’t until she turned around with one eyebrow raised in an all-knowing way that I shook myself out of my lustful fog and cleared my throat.

  “Very interesting contraption you’ve got on your back there, Ariette.” I didn’t even glance in her direction as I walked past, but I heard the scorching sarcasm in her voice when she responded.

  “Uh-huh. Lots of men think so, too.”

  I approached the side of the van and looked for a handle to slide the door open. Of course, there wasn’t one. Because why would a group of badass, secretive Seelie put a handle on the side of their weird color-changing van where just anyone could access it?

  Ariette came up behind me and nudged me out of the way so that she could place her hand right where a handle would have been. A shimmer passed along the white panel beneath her fingers, and then it softly glowed green before the door magically slid open to reveal the interior of the van.

  And damn, was it cooler than I ever could have expected.

  It was bigger on the inside than should have been physically possible, given the dimensions of the van, but I had to remind myself that I was in the world of the Fae now. Magic was everywhere.

  Two small steps led to the interior, and it looked like a cross between someone’s home, and a van for top-secret spies who go around hacking into
giant databases and recording illicit conversations.

  Massive computer screens lined the top of the van walls and stretched all the way up to the roof. Each screen showed different views of our city. Some had the police officers as they cleaned up the decimated streets, others played video of shopping malls and business offices, and one even displayed the inside of the White House.

  “Is that the Oval Office?” I asked as I turned to Ariette.

  “‘Free country’ may not be the best description anymore.” At least she looked chagrined as she said it. Not like I was surprised. A person would have to be pretty stupid to assume our old ways and laws really mattered against the rule of the Fae, no matter how many times they assured us we retained independence.

  I simply nodded, not in a position to judge anymore. After all, I was officially one of them now. And wow… that was kind of weird…

  I thought about the number of times I wished I could be a Fae when I was a child. I had spent so much time locked in daydreams about what it would be like to wake up and suddenly find myself a magic-wielding badass, or for some beautiful Fae woman to burst into my foster home and say I was her long-lost child. Of course, I never believed any of that would have actually been possible, but it was sure fun to imagine.

  The child inside of me wanted to jump for joy right now.

  Still, I couldn’t help but feel a slight twinge of sadness at the things I knew I’d have to leave behind. Those dank and dusty classrooms at the local community college that had actually begun to feel a bit like a home. Or the studio apartment I so carefully decorated with the cheapest things I could find. Even the frat boys down the hall who never failed to invite me to one of their parties. Being a human gave me an identity, somewhere to fit in a world divided by magical and non-magical, special and not special. The Fae were always this great power, like a group of gods that had simply deigned to allow us to live in their world. Always there, and yet separate and above.