“Let me show you to your room.”
Ava and Mercy followed behind me quietly.
“Mercy, this is your room.” I opened the door hoping that she liked it. I had an interior designer come in and fix it. I had requested a room that any little girl would fall in love with.
I waited anxiously for to enter the room.
“I love it,” she said with awe in her voice.
The room was decorated in pinks and grays with a fluffy pink and gray comforter. She had rugs thrown around to relax on. Her room had a desk and bookcase that I had already had filled with recent bestselling books for her to read.
She had her own bathroom attached that was decorated in the same shades.
I watched Ava’s face as she took in Mercy’s room.
“It’s a beautiful room, Ryan. Thanks,” Ava said quietly looking around the room taking in all of the various touches that I had requested added to Mercy’s room.
“Mercy, why don’t you look around while I show your Mother her room.”
“Ok,” Mercy replied running over to the custom-made doll house that I had designed for her.
Ava followed me out of the room like she was going to prison. She probably wanted to sleep right near Mercy, but she wasn’t. She was right near me.
“Ava, the room you’ll be staying in is right next door to mine,” I informed her walking toward the door that was right next to mine. I stepped closer, placing my hand against her back. She tensed nervously in front of me.
Yep, get used to it. I’m going to be in your space constantly.
I ushered her inside.
She was right to be nervous. I hoped to eventually be able to have access to her room soon.
“I hope you like it.”
“It’s fine, Ryan. We’re only going to be here for the summer, so this will work.”
Nope, the summer just wouldn’t do a lifetime was what I was asking.
“Ryan, we’re a little tired. I’ll just get Mercy ready for bed, and we’ll talk more tomorrow.”
I wanted to keep talking to her. I wanted to catch up on everything that I missed out on in her life and Mercy’s. I wanted to know how her husband had treated her. I wanted to know how her life had been from the moment that I let her get away till now. Yes, my investigators had given me a folder of information on her, but it wasn’t the same thing as being with her and talking to her.
“I understand. There is a linen closet in your bathroom and Mercy’s. If I can get you anything, let me know.”
I stood watching her for a minute. She didn’t move. I wanted to reach for her, but I kept my hands in my pockets knowing she wasn’t ready for me to touch her.
“I’ll just get your luggage from downstairs and bring it up.”
“Thanks, it’s good that you’re getting to know your daughter. She has been excited about being here with you since I mentioned that you wanted her to stay for the summer.”
“You,” I corrected her.
She raised her eyebrows.
“I wanted both of you to stay with me. I want to get to know you again too.”
Ava bit her lip. “I just want you to know your daughter. You don’t need to get to know me. I’m pretty sure we know enough about each already.”
“Actually, we don’t know each other, Ava.”
“Ryan,” she sighed.
“You don’t know me. You knew eighteen-year-old me. Trust me, I’m not that same person. Can you tell me that you are the same girl that you were at eighteen?”
She shook her head. “I’m not a hundred percent that girl, but my overall personality has not changed that drastically. Pretty sure you’re still the same guy, Ryan. People don’t change as much as they think.”
I looked into her eyes. “No, I’m not that little boy anymore. It’s been seven years. I’ve toured the world. I have been in several movies. Experienced things that I never thought that I would before in my life. I’ve had struggles. I have regrets. I’ve thousands of regrets. Can you honestly say that you are the same, Ava?”
I was positive that she wasn’t that same girl. I was sure raising my daughter by herself had made her grow up faster no matter what she thought. She had finished college. She had been married. She was not the same. It wasn’t possible.
She stared at me for a second. I could tell that she didn’t want to answer me because she knew I was correct about people changing.
She thought about my question once again. “No, I’m not the same, which means I’m not the girl that once loved you more than anything.”
I nodded my head in agreement. “Good, I don’t want that girl. I want the woman that you are now. I want to get to know the woman that you’ve become. I want to win her.”
“And if she doesn’t want to be won?” she whispered.
I walked toward her. “I’ll have to convince her that I’m worth knowing again. That I’m worth loving again.”
I touched her cheek. “I guess I’ll have to show you that there is no other man that could possibly love you the way that I will. I’ll have to make you think about me even when you don’t want to. I’ll have to spoil you so much that no other man can compete with me. Make other men look like shit in comparison to me.”
I kissed the side of her mouth. “I’ll have to convince you that no one can love you like I can. I’ll have to make you see that our family belongs together.”
“I’ll give you two time to settle in for the night. I’ll see both of you in the morning.” I kissed her lips softly taking her lack of resistance as a sign that she still had some feelings for me.
I knew when to pull back. I had done a lot of pushing tonight. I knew it was time for her to get some space. I didn’t want to run her off. She needed time to think about all the things that had transpired today. I had said a lot. I just hoped that she was listening to me and willing to give me a chance.
***
The next morning, I cooked breakfast for both of them. I knew from the past that Ava liked French toast, eggs, and sausage. I hadn’t forgotten all the times that we had breakfast for dinner in college.
“Good morning,” I said continuing to put plates on the table. It would feel weird to eat with them for the first time. I was accustomed to eating by myself with very little fanfare. I hoped that this would be the beginning of all our future mornings. Eating breakfast as a family and simply being together.
“Morning,” Ava said softly.
“Morning,” Mercy chirped skipping into the kitchen.
“Morning, honey. Did you sleep well?”
“Yes, I love my room.”
“I’m glad. We can change anything you don’t like.”
“No, I like it just the way that it is,” she replied shyly.
“I’m glad.” I had been paranoid about selecting anything for Mercy. I didn’t know what she liked, but I wanted to surprise and please her. So, I was happy to know that I had done something good.
“You know that we’re only going to be here for the summer, Ryan. You didn’t have to do that.” Ava said.
I know, Ava. You don’t have to remind me that you had plans on leaving at the end of the summer.
I ignored her statement. Going back and forth with her was not going to win me any points. “I know. I just want you two to feel at home.” This would eventually be their home, or I would buy her another one if she that was what she wanted. Losing was not an option. There was too much at stake.
“I’ll give you all my codes and a spare key so that you can come and go as you please. You can use any car in the garage that you want. My guards will accompany you anywhere you want to go too.” I said moving into Ava’s space so that I was close to her.
I had no plans on her ignoring me.
“Cool, thanks for being so helpful and supportive. We’ll only be here for a short time. I’m sure I’ll be fine hanging out here,” she insisted trying to move away from my body.
I didn’t budge. Nope, she wasn’t getting away that easily.
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I could hear the resentment and sarcasm in her voice. Trust me, I got it. I could face the facts that this wouldn’t be easy. I knew that she was pushing back on everything I had said to her in the car. It didn’t matter, being nasty didn’t change the fact that I was fighting for our future.
I knew what she was doing. She was trying to remind me that this arrangement was temporary. I wouldn’t dispute what she just said. I knew what my intentions were. It wasn’t going to be just for the summer. This was forever.
She couldn’t conceive the fact that I had changed. But, I had. I just needed her to let me prove it.
“Mom, there’s a huge pool in the back. Can I go swimming?”
I moved away from Ava as Mercy came closer to us. Ava got the idea. She was going to be mine.
“I’m sure your father won’t mind if you use his pool. He said he want us to feel comfortable here.”
She didn’t want to be here, but I was forcing her hand.
“Yes, you can use the pool. The whole house is yours. Mi casa es su casa.” I smiled at her. I didn’t want her to feel the anger between her Mom and me. Mine and Ava’s relationship was separate from the one I wanted with Mercy.
I wanted Mercy to stay in my life even if ultimately Ava decided that she hated my guts and couldn’t stand to be in my presence. But, I didn’t plan on that happening. I planned on giving Mercy more siblings with Ava.
“We can go swimming after we eat if your mom says it’s fine.”
“Can I, Mom?”
Ava nodded her head in agreement.
“You guys go on. I’ll unpack our stuff,” she said eating her food.
The rest of breakfast Ava ate her food and only responded when Mercy talked to her. Then, once she finished, she helped clean up the kitchen and went upstairs.
I knew she couldn’t wait to get out of my presence. I didn’t blame her, but today was the first day. I knew she needed her space. I dropped into her life unexpectedly. She wasn’t expecting me to come back. I got it.
I planned on convincing her that I was the one. I could be a good dad and husband.
“Go change your clothes. Then, we will swim. Do you know how to swim?” I asked.
“Yes, Mom taught me. I’m also on a swim team. I usually swim year-round.”
“Cool. You can show me some of your skills.”
Mercy smiled at me radiantly. “Mom says I’m a regular Simone Manuel.”
I knew exactly who Simone Manuel was. She had received a Gold Medal for swimming. My daughter obviously had her goals set high.
“I bet you are. I can’t wait to see you in the water.” I was excited to spend time with her.
“I’ll meet you down here in ten minutes,” I told her.
“Okay, I’ll be right back.” She smiled at me as she raced up the steps.
Ava had already gone up the steps while Mercy and I were talking.
I slowly walked up the winding staircase. It felt weird to hear sounds throughout the house. I was used to being alone in the house or rarely being in the house. It was lonely being here by myself. It was so big that it felt like a museum even though I had the interior designer create warmth throughout the house. It always felt like it was missing something.
When I first purchased it, I wasn’t thinking about the space. I bought it for its location. For the privacy and all the things that symbolized my wealth.
Now, I was glad I did. It would allow Ava the space she needed to get used to me again. I had all sorts of entertainment around the property like an indoor and outdoor pool, tennis courts, a bar, gym, theatre room, and a small bowling alley with an arcade room.
I didn’t want us to leave the house. I wanted to keep them to myself. We needed this time as a family. We needed to create new memories together.
I stopped by Mercy’s door and watched Ava unpacking Mercy’s things.
“I hope you’re okay with taking her swimming. Yesterday was quiet because we had just arrived, but today she might become a little hyper. I don’t want her to disturb you.”
I frowned at Ava. “Mercy is not disturbing me, Ava. I asked you to be here.”
“Yeah, you did, but I know you’re not used to a kid being around. The noise may irritate you.”
I knew she was saying this to piss me off. A nice little reminder that I was not used to being around my own daughter.
Good one, Ava. Try something else.
“No, the noise won’t irritate me. I’m looking forward to the noises that little girls make,” I told her honestly looking into her eyes.
She dropped her gaze.
“Let me go change before Mercy gets out.” I walked away from her.
I walked down the hallway to my room and changed quickly. I didn’t want to keep Mercy waiting.
I stopped back by Mercy’s door on the way down the steps. “Are you ready, sweetheart?”
Ava’s gaze locked on me. She stared at my bare chest. Yep, all the gym time was paying off. I had a six pack. I knew how it affected women. I made money off this body. She needed to remember that. She needed to see that I had changed mentally and physically. I was not the boy that she had slept with in college. Trust me, I had learned several things through the years. I couldn’t wait to show her every single one. If I could ultimately win her over with sex, I was willing to do that too.
I adjusted the towel around my shoulders and leaned against the door.
“You good, Ava?”
Right. Take a long look. This will all be yours soon.
“I’m fine,” she stuttered out and bit her lips.
She wasn’t fine, but I planned on taking care of those needs for her in the near future.
“I’m ready,” Mercy said walking out the bathroom door toward me.
“Good, let’s go my future Olympian.” I winked at Ava and grabbed my daughter’s hand walking down the stairs with a smirk. I had seen that look in Ava’s eyes before. It was that same look that she had given me in college when we had first started dating. Her eyes would glaze over, and she would bite her lips.
I wanted her to remember us. Remember how good it was between us before I fucked it up. In case she didn’t know, I was coming for her. I had never stopped wanting her. I was crazy about her.
How Not To
Dan and Shay
Week Three
I’ve hardly gotten any sleep. I spent my nights thinking about Ryan. We’ve been here three weeks, and he was driving me nuts. He and Mercy went swimming practically every day. And, every day, he walked around with swimming trunks and no shirt. Anytime I was anywhere near him, he brushed up against me. I tried to move as far away from him as possible. But, it was never far enough away. He made sure I felt his erection. Yes, I knew that he wanted me. But, I was doing all I could to not get caught.
Hell, I was even dreaming about him at night. I woke up hot and bothered every single morning. He barely resembled the man I slept with all those years ago. Everything was just more. He no longer looked like the young man I first met at college. His features were sharp and pronounced. His abs had definition that looked like he was one of the actors from 300.
His arms bulged with muscles that hadn’t exist a few years ago. I guessed it came from all the action movies. His skin was tanned from being out in the sun all day long with Mercy.
Just being around him made my whole-body tingle. I tried to deny the chemistry between us, but it was hard when he wouldn’t put on damn clothes. If I walked into the kitchen one more time with him cooking breakfast in gym shorts and no shirt, I was going to attack him.
I froze. It was like my thoughts had conjured him. I hadn’t felt him come up behind me. It was like he was trying to constantly keep me off-balance. It was working. My body didn’t know what to expect at any given time with him near.
“Why don’t we go to the Kid’s Choice Awards tonight. I’m sure Mercy would love it. She’d get the chance to see all her favorite stars from television shows. It’ll be fun.”
I fel
t his heat at my back and his smell made my sex clinch. The deep, richness of his voice touched my body like a caress. How could he still affect me this way?
I moved back and turned around toward him. His damn shirt was off again. My eyes traveled down his chest.
The air rushed from my body. My heart fluttered just being near him. It was such a damn trader. I had to gain control of my emotions.
I wasn’t sure how long I was going to be able to hold out if he wouldn’t stop with his slow seduction. I kept my eyes glued to his, refusing to let them drop down and stare at his chest or anywhere below his chest.
He tempted me on so many levels. History irrevocably glued us together. Sometimes, I had to remind myself of how he treated me, and that it was just unacceptable to forgive him. My body just didn’t want to agree.
I cleared my throat. “What? No, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
Ryan had food delivered to us when he didn’t cook himself, so we didn’t have to leave the house. I was scared to leave. I had seen paparazzi down at the end of the driveway of his house when I went jogging in the morning. I knew they wanted more pictures of me and Mercy. Ryan’s clip was on loop claiming me and Mercy. When he had done it initially, I hadn’t thought about the ramifications. Now, everyone speculated on whether or not Ryan was with me. They wondered where I had come from. Why they were just hearing about us, and the questions went on and on. They were just waiting to bombard us with questions.
I was scared of what they might do if we leave the house. It would be like opening the gates of hell. Ryan couldn’t just take his long-lost daughter to an award show. How would he explain that? I knew he said he wasn’t going to lie, but how would he explain what had really happened between us? Wouldn’t he eventually have to give somebody his story?
“Why not?” he asked as if he had taken his daughter to these types of events a million times.
“Ryan, these people are just realizing that you have a daughter. If you take her to an award show, you’ll have to answer more questions about Mercy.”
“So.” He stared at me as if he didn’t see the complication.
I wanted to punch him. I wanted to punch him hard. I hated when he played oblivious. He knew what I meant.
Mercy Page 6