Dream of Me

by Quinn Loftis

  “First, I must give glory to God because, you see, if not for Him, I would not be standing here today. Long ago, when I was a small girl, He delivered me from the hands of some evil people and gave me angels, in many forms, to protect me. One of those angels was a young teenage girl name Sarah Serenity Tillman. When I was eight years old, she saved my life by standing between me and a man with a gun. She died that day.” The woman paused. The woman, Dair now realized, was a grown version of Emma Whitmore. She seemed to be collecting herself. Once she was sure the tears would remain at bay, she continued. “She died that day so that I might live. So the only reason I stand here on this historic day as the first female President of this great country is because God deemed it so. And because Serenity saw my life as something worth saving. There is no greater sacrifice than to give up one’s life for another. Think of the world we would live in if we all lived in such a way. Think of all the good that would be done if we valued others, as Sarah Tillman valued me, above ourselves. I stand here today honored that you, the people of this nation, have deemed me worthy to be in a position of leadership. I vow to you that I will strive to put your worth above my own. My life for yours. My sacrifice is to protect all of you. When I think about what it means to be the Commander and Chief, my mind is drawn back to a scripture that I think every great leader should read. It comes from the book of John, chapter 19 starting in verse 10. It is Pilate, a governor in Rome at that time, speaking to Jesus after the religious leaders of that day had turned him over to the government to be executed. Pilate says to Jesus, ‘Don’t you realize I have power either to free you or to crucify you?’” Emma paused as she looked up over the crowd. Dair could see the emotions welling up in her eyes―could almost feel her conviction himself. Emma took a breath and then continued, but this time she didn’t look down at her notes; her eyes were for the people. “Jesus’s response is a reminder to me of my place in this world. He says, ‘You would have no power over me if it were not given to you from above.’ ” Another purposeful pause. “I too would not be in this position if God had not allowed it to happen. I have no power, not without His say so. And so I will forever be humbled and daily remind myself that I am held to a higher standard. I will stand before my Creator one day and answer for my actions as your president and how I long to hear the words, ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant.’ ” Finally she ended her speech with, “My life for yours; my sacrifice is to protect, serve, and value every person of this great nation above myself.”

  The room faded and Dair found himself once again kneeling before the Creator. He couldn’t move. He felt as if everything inside of him had died the moment he saw Serenity still on the floor of that disgusting house. Though he knew it had not yet come to pass, he felt as if it had really happened. Probably because he knew that it would. Serenity would die to save Emma’s life so that she could fulfill the Creator’s plan for her to become the first female president. And he knew that there was a bigger reason behind her being president of such a great nation than just that she was female. She would do great things for the Creator and for her country. No doubt she would change lives for the better. But why Serenity? That was the question now repeating itself in his mind, in his soul. Why Serenity?

  “Is there no other way?” Dair finally spoke. He was almost afraid of the answer and yet he had to ask. He had to know if there was anything he could do to change the outcome of Serenity’s future. Did she have to be the one to die?

  “Emma Whitmore is destined to change the course of history for the greatest country on the planet. She must become the leader she is needed to be. If Emma does not become president, then her nation will continue down the path of destruction until they have immersed themselves in their own immorality to the point that they no longer recognize right from wrong. They will be desensitized beyond any other nation at any point in history. Tolerance will be preached as a way to ignore and accept depraved acts. Entitlement will become the peoples’ cry to every want and desire, regardless of the harmfulness of their desires. They will serve themselves and I will remove my hand from them. I have sheltered, blessed, and watched them flourish at times. I have also wept for them because they are my children, as is every human being on earth. They are mine, created by me, and I have watched them destroy themselves. I will never take their free will, but nor will I abide with debauchery and wickedness. History has shown this; as you well know.”

  “That was from your Word, the book of Isaiah,” Dair said recognizing the reference to Babylon.

  The Creator continued. “There is still a remnant left, those like Sarah Serenity Tillman, who have led a selfless life. She thinks of others before herself. And before her time comes, she will acknowledge her Creator. She still is searching. In her heart of hearts, she wonders if she is worthy of my love. She will soon realize that it is I who make her worthy. I ask you now, knowing what you do of this woman child, do you think she would ask another to die in her place to keep little Emma safe?”

  “No,” Dair growled out. “No, she would never ask that of anyone.” And it was true. His Serenity would never ask another to make a sacrifice that was hers to give. “But, does anyone have to die? Could not they both be saved?”

  “Great change requires great sacrifice. What greater sacrifice is there than to die for one another?”

  “BUT WHY HER?” Dair lost his composure. His voice bellowed from his chest with the strength of the pain that was radiating through him. He didn’t know how to handle the emotions that were welling up inside of him. The grief, anger, and confusion was something he had never experienced before. Everything was overwhelming him in a flood, and he felt as though a giant boulder had been tied to his ankle and then tossed into a turbulent sea, and he was sinking fast. There had to be something he could do to prevent Serenity or Emma from being harmed. Surely his existence could serve a greater purpose than giving dreams. Surely he was meant for more.

  “Peace! Be still,” his voice boomed and then gentled. “You weren’t created for love, Brudair, and because of this you weren’t created either for the pain that most assuredly always follows.” The Creator’s warmth and peace flowed over him and Dair was able to breathe again.

  “What am I supposed to do now?” He wasn’t really sure if he was just asking himself or if he was actually asking the one who brought him into existence.

  “Though I created you for a purpose, I have never taken your free will and I will not take it now. I am always with you, Brudair, just as I am always with Emma and Serenity. Both of them are mine. She was mine long before she was yours and my love is complete, whole, and all consuming. I see the past, the present, and the future. Nothing is missed by my eyes. I am with you, no matter what you choose. But remember there are consequences for every choice made.”

  The warmth was gone and the darkness Dair had become so accustomed to was back. After several minutes, he raised his head to see that he was kneeling in the field just beside Serenity’s home. Dair stood slowly, knowing he needed to get his bearings. He didn’t want to appear in Serenity’s room with the grief of her death still fresh on his face. She would know something was wrong. Dair was pretty sure that he wasn’t going to be able to tell the woman he had fallen in love with that her death was coming sooner rather than later and that it would be at the end of a gun held by an evil soul.

  “Okay, so thinking those thoughts is not going to help me calm down,” he growled to himself. He had to step back and clear his mind. She wasn’t dead, not yet, and he of all people knew that nothing was set in stone, not when humans had free will. If things were set in stone, then there would be no need for him―no need for his dreams to attempt to influence people to choose the paths laid out for them.

  “She’s not dead yet,” he told himself again. As his mind considered what the Creator had told him, that he had free will, he realized how he would make sure that Serenity remained not dead. He knew with more certainty than he had ever felt that he would take Serenity’s place. She
would not die. Dair had walked the earth since the beginning of time, and she had been the first light and warmth to captivate him, and he simply couldn’t imagine her light being snuffed out so soon. There was so much good she could do in the world, so much she had to offer, and he would gladly sacrifice his existence for her. It would be no sacrifice, not really, if it meant that Serenity would continue on to share the light inside of her.

  Dair turned and looked at the window to her room. Just beyond that thin piece of glass his love lay, sleeping peacefully lost in the dream he had made for her. And she would live to have many, many more dreams, maybe not weaved by him, but they would be beautiful nonetheless because she was beautiful.

  Chapter 10

  To see the grim reaper in your dream doesn’t necessarily mean you or someone you love is going to die. Rather, it marks the end of something important in your life―perhaps a special relationship, a job, or the loss of a material possession you value highly.

  It was Christmas Day and Glory let herself into Wayne and Darla’s house as she always did when she came to visit. Glory’s family celebrated Christmas on Christmas Eve. Mornings were rough on her mother and her dad like to let her sleep in. Knowing this, Serenity had invited Glory to come spend Christmas morning with her. At first Glory had tried to argue that she didn’t want to impose. But when Serenity told her that Dair would be in attendance, her best friend was more than happy to show up.

  “So where is the yummy immortal with the euphoric inducing voice?” she asked as she took off her coat, scarf, and hat.

  “Good morning to you too,” Serenity said as she wiped the sleep from her eyes. She reached her arms up over her head giving her back a good stretch. Her shirt rose up just enough to show a small amount of skin, and when Dair’s fingertips glided across her back, her breath caught and her arms dropped quickly.

  “Ahh, there he is,” Glory grinned as Dair stepped up beside Serenity and wrapped an arm around her waist pulling her against him as if he’d done it a thousand times before.

  He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her hair and whispered, “Good morning, beautiful.”

  Glory fanned herself dramatically and Serenity had to wonder again if her friend really was in her twenties.

  “Hello, Glory,” Dair said as his eyes left Serenity and turned on Glory. He held out his hand which Glory grabbed with no small amount of enthusiasm. “I’ve heard much about you; it’s nice to finally meet you.”

  “She wasn’t lying. You definitely have a voice that could give a girl—,”

  “SOOOO,” Serenity cut her friend off not even wanting to take a guess about what was about to spill from her unfiltered mouth. “How was your Christmas Eve?”

  Glory let go of Dair’s hand and turned a raised brow on her. “We talked about it just a little while ago when you called me. Why don’t you let me and your eye candy get to know each other? I approve on the hotness level, but the rest is yet to be seen.”

  Serenity wanted to smack her forehead and then Glory’s forehead. So began the interrogation of Brudair AKA Sandman by Glorious Day. But actually, it wasn’t until Raphael walked into the room that things got really bad.

  “You must be Raphael,” Glory said as she held out her hand from where she sat on the couch. As he shook her hand, Glory gave him a wink. “My, my, they sure know how to grow them in heaven.”

  “Glory!” Serenity chastised. “He’s an angel. He’s doesn’t…he’s not,” she stuttered and finished. “available.”

  Glory gave Raphael her signature single eyebrow raise. “You got any friends who have fallen from grace and are available?”

  Serenity did smack her forehead that time.

  “Kidding,” Glory huffed. Then she turned her head and muttered, “Sort of.”

  Raphael looked from Serenity to Glory and then back to Serenity. “This is the one with no filter?”

  Serenity nodded wordlessly.

  Glory wasn’t offended by the question. Serenity would never say anything about Glory to someone else that she wouldn’t say in front of her best friend. And Glory knew it was true; her filter had been broken long ago, if it had ever existed.

  “Filters are overrated,” Glory said as she leaned back on the couch and got comfortable.

  “And on that note, I’m going to go see if Emma is ready to join us,” Serenity said as she headed for the hallway. She could feel Dair on her heels and before she could make it down the hall, he grabbed her wrist and pulled her toward her own room. He tugged her inside and turned her so her back was against the wall. Serenity looked up at him and knew he could see the question in her eyes without her even asking.

  “I just wanted a moment with you,” he answered the unspoken question. “I have a feeling that the rest of the day will be filled with the presence of others, and I’m a tad jealous of my time with you.”

  “A tad?” She smiled at him.

  Dair’s hands came up to cup her face as he tilted it back. She knew he was going to kiss her. Though he’d kissed her before, her breathing still quickened with anticipation, because Dair’s kisses were supernatural. Well, she didn’t know if that was really true, but Serenity swore that when he kissed her it was more than just their mouths connecting.

  When his lips finally pressed to hers, Serenity felt the earth move beneath her feet. Her whole world shifted until Dair was all there was. For that brief moment in time, only he existed. There was no Mildred, or Rat, or the constant dread that something terrible was going to happen to Emma. It was just her, pressed close against Dair. She was almost surprised that her skin, which was growing warmer by the minute, wasn’t giving off steam by now. And when he pressed even closer and his hands fisted in her hair, she was pretty sure she could hear a little crab in the background singing Kiss the Girl. Of all the things to pop in her head in that moment, she thought. But oddly enough it did nothing to distract Serenity from the passionate male who had her completely enraptured with his touch.

  When Dair finally pulled away, he pressed his forehead to hers. Both of them were trying to catch their breaths, and Serenity wondered if her lips looked as swollen and thoroughly loved as his did.

  “You test my resolve, love,” Dair whispered.

  “Your resolve?”

  He nodded against her forehead. “My resolve to make sure you remain a pure maiden.”

  Serenity snorted out a laugh. “Please tell me you didn’t just say pure maiden. You’re showing your age when you talk like that.”

  Dair released his hands from her hair and smoothed it back down. He gave her a final short kiss on the lips and then stepped back, out of temptation’s reach.

  “I better go check on Emma.” Serenity motioned over her shoulder towards her door.

  “That would be a very good idea,” Dair agreed. “Unless you would like Raphael to marry us and then we can pick up where we left off.”

  Serenity’s eyes widened and her mind raced to all sorts of places at his words. “Is Raphael ordained to marry people?

  Dair chuckled at her. “Go Serenity, before I decide to let you find out.”

  Emma blinked several times attempting to push sleep away as the morning sunlight peeked through the curtains. When she realized that there actually were curtains in the room she remembered that she wasn’t at her aunt’s house. Then her mind jumped to why she wasn’t at her aunt’s house, and she quickly pushed those memories away. She would need to deal with them eventually but that morning was not the time, not Christmas morning. Her lips spread into a wide smile as she thought about spending Christmas with Darla, Wayne, and Serenity. She didn’t believe in Santa Clause. In fact, she had questioned the plausibility of his existence several years ago after she got out a map and sat down to calculate flight times from the Arctic Ocean to every other country in the world. Constrained by the laws of physics, it simply wasn’t possible to visit every boy and girl in the world in one night. But that was okay with her. Christmas in her family had been about the birth of a baby given t
o man by God. She knew not everyone in the world believed in God, or his son, but she did. And her parents did, so that was what Christmas was to her. It was a joyful time in their home. Her heart ached with the loss and suddenly her smile was gone. This would be the first of every Christmas to come without her parents. Emma missed them beyond any words she could use to express. But if indeed there was a God, and her parents’ beliefs about heaven were true, then she knew they were in a much, much better place. There were no men like Rat, or the man who had killed her parents, in heaven. There was no pain, no tears or grief, only joy and she wouldn’t take that from her parents, not even to bring them back to her. She would see them again one day, of that she had no doubt.

  There was a soft knock on the bedroom door and then Serenity poked her head in. She had a contagious smile on her face. Emma’s own lips stretched up in response.

  “Are you just going to lay in that bed all day contemplating whatever it is that geniuses contemplate?” Serenity asked.

  Emma’s head tilted ever so slightly. “Why do you ask? Is today something special?” Her voice was full of innocence as she stared wide-eyed at Serenity.

  Serenity shrugged. “Nope, nothing special about today. You just stay in here while I go open all those presents that are under a tree that’s up for no particular reason.” She turned to go.

  “Are there…,” Emma began and then paused. Serenity turned back to face her. Emma wanted to hide the vulnerability that she knew filled her eyes but it was no use. She was worn out from trying to keep it all together. “Are there presents for me?” she finally asked.