Dream of Me

by Quinn Loftis

  Serenity’s smile stretched even wider. “Santa doesn’t forget you just because you’re in a different house.”

  Emma shook her head at the girl who was quickly becoming like a big sister to her. She climbed out of the bed and headed toward the now wide-open door. “My mama would have liked you,” Emma told Serenity as she followed her into the hall and toward the living room.

  “Why’s that?”

  “Because you’re young at heart. You definitely have an old soul, and she would have pointed that out to you as well. But, mama liked to laugh. She liked to be happy. You make people happy. You make me happy,” she admitted with a sad smile.

  As they stepped into the living room already filled with Wayne, Darla, Raphael, Dair, and another lady that Emma hadn’t met yet, her eyes widened as they landed on the tree and the presents beneath it. She could read her name written on many of them, too many of them she decided. How was it in a world with people like Mildred and Rat, that people like Serenity and Darla could exist? Emma almost felt as if it should be an impossibility for the goodness of a family like this one to be anywhere near people like her aunt. “There is no sun without the rain, Emma Jean. There is no rejoicing if there is no sorrow.” Emma wondered if she would ever stop hearing her mother’s words in her mind, and as the ones that had just popped up resonated with her soul, she hoped she would always hear them.

  She was brought from her momentary stupor when Serenity gave her a small nudge in the back. She looked back at her friend, but before she could speak Serenity spoke up. “Don’t argue, or say you can’t accept it, or do anything else that we southerners seem to think appropriate when we don’t know how to show our gratitude. A thank you is always sufficient. So go open your presents.”

  Emma decided that if they went to all the trouble to do this for her, she wouldn’t let them down by not showing them how much she appreciated it. But instead of sitting down and immediately opening her presents, she started sifting through the pile. As she read labels she began passing them out to each recipient. When she headed toward the lady she didn’t know with two bags loaded with tissue paper, Emma held out her hand. “I’m Emma Whitmore. I haven’t met you before.” The lady smiled and Emma could see the kindness in her eyes, though there was also a hint of mischievousness.

  “Emma Whitmore,” she said as she took her hand. “I’m Glory Day, and yes my parents really did do that to me.” Emma grinned as Glory shrugged. “It is what it is. Anyways, I’m Serenity’s friend and I’m glad to finally meet you. She’s told me lots of great things about you.”

  After all the presents had been distributed, there was a pregnant pause before the room erupted into chaos. Emma looked around, her jaw dropping open. And when her eyes fell on Dair and Raphael, she saw that they had the same astonished look she did.

  Wayne, Darla, Serenity, and Glory had all begun to tear into their presents with an exuberance that made Emma think of rabid beavers on the back of a logging truck. Paper was flying. Oohs and Ahhs bounced off the walls as they each began to get beyond the packaging to the goodies inside. It truly was a sight to behold. In Emma’s home, they had always taken turns opening their presents so that everyone could appreciate and see what the gift was. She had to admit there was something so freeing and childlike about the display of eagerness.

  She looked back at Dair and shrugged. “When in Rome,” she muttered and began to tear into the packages before her. Emma couldn’t help the grin that spread across her face, which seemed to get wider with every present she opened. Whoever had gone shopping for her had truly understood her. She loved the books. Knowing that they were way above what she should be able to read, but also knowing that she’d have no problem with them, gave her a little bit of a confidence boost. But then, seeing the crafts reminded her that she still needed to be a kid, regardless of her IQ. All in all, it was actually one of the best Christmas’s she’d ever had.

  As the excitement began to die down and a sea of wrapping paper covered the floor, everyone looked around as a last ditch effort to make sure there was nothing left that could be ripped into.

  “Well, I will admit that this is the first time I’ve ever seen rabid Christmas present opening. It’s quite an experience,” Emma said breaking the silence. The others laughed.

  “None of us are very good at waiting on others to open their presents,” Darla admitted. “We barely make it to Christmas morning most of the time. Presents under our tree often have little corners that have been torn and re-taped because of the lack of self-control.”

  “Darla, who happens to be the worst about this?” Wayne asked her with a knowing smirk.

  Darla laughed. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “Sure, you don’t,” Serenity said shaking her head.

  “So what happens now?” Emma asked.

  “Now we eat,” Darla answered as she stood up and headed toward the kitchen where delicious smells called to the group to come partake.

  Raphael placed a large but gentle hand on Emma’s shoulder as she headed toward the kitchen with everyone else. She looked up at the large angel and saw so many different emotions in his eyes. She could tell he still felt responsible for what had happened. There was nothing she could say to change that. It was between Raphael and his conscience to let it go.

  “After breakfast we need to return to your aunt and deal with what happened. None of us want you to return to that place, but…,” he paused.

  “It’s where I’m supposed to be right now,” Emma finished.

  Raphael’s jaw clenched. “You are too wise for your age, Emma Whitmore. You should not have to worry about such things.”

  She shrugged. “We can’t see the bigger picture sometimes, big guy,” she told him. “Mama used to tell me that there was a reason for everything. She’d say, Emma Jean, there is nothing in this world that God misses. There is nothing so bad that he can’t use for good in some way. We may never know what that is, but you can trust that He’s got it covered.”

  “What if a person doesn’t believe in this God of yours? What do they do with the horrible things of this world―the unjust, the corrupt, and evil? Where is their hope?”

  She knew that he was playing the devil’s advocate. Her daddy used to do the same thing with her mama. Of course, he just liked to argue more than anything. He got a kick out of seeing her mama get all riled up. “I’ve asked my mama that same question.”

  “What was her answer?”

  “She told me that oftentimes it was those very things that helped them see that there was something bigger in this world than themselves. And it was our job to show those people love, acceptance, and that very hope, not judgment, hate, or ambivalence.”

  “And in your circumstances, with what has happened to you, you still believe there is this God who loves you?” Raphael seemed to truly want to understand. Emma wondered if, because he was an angel created for one purpose―to serve his Creator, perhaps he didn’t understand free will.

  “I have to believe that he has a greater purpose. Maybe I will be able to help a child one day who is going through the same thing.” Emma could admit to herself and to God that she was scared, but she did believe he was with her.

  “You are a rare gem, Emma,” Raphael said warmly. “A rare gem in a cave of coal.”

  She tilted her head to the side as she looked up at him. “Even coal has a purpose.”

  Serenity stood next to the back passenger seat of her car as Emma climbed into the other side. Dair stood by the open driver side door looking back at her while Raphael had already sat down in the passenger seat. Dair’s eyes were narrowed and his jaw tight.

  “I really wish you would stay here,” he told her for the third time.

  She shook her head. “Not going to happen.” She turned then when she heard Glory’s horn honk at her as she backed out of the driveway. Serenity gave her friend a wave and then placed her hand to her ear as if it were a telephone letting her best friend know she woul
d call her. When she turned back to look at Dair, she realized that his frustration with her wasn’t going to abate anytime soon, so she gave up trying to reason with him and just climbed in next to Emma. She heard him let out a deep sigh.

  “He’s protective of you,” Emma whispered to her.

  “Which is why he shouldn’t be worried. He won’t let anything happen to me so I don’t understand what the big deal is.”

  “What if I can’t protect you,” Dair nearly growled. “What if it is beyond my ability?”

  “Brudair.” Raphael’s voice held a warning that Serenity didn’t understand.

  “What are you talking about?” she asked Dair.

  “Never mind,” he told her as he backed out of the driveway.

  It was the first time he had ever been remotely harsh with her, and for that reason, Serenity knew that something very serious was upsetting him. What did he think he couldn’t protect her from? What danger could she possibly be in? Serenity’s mind conjured up scenarios ranging from her and Mildred getting into a ridiculous slapping fight to a crazy patron busting into the library brandishing a gun while yelling about the library fines he would not pay because the library was supposed to be free. Both scenarios were equally likely in her estimation. Regardless, she had no doubt that he could protect her.

  The car ride into town was quiet. Serenity noted how they each seemed to be lost in their own thoughts. Was Emma thinking about how she was going to be back with her aunt and the uncertainty of her safety? Was Raphael still beating himself up about not being there to protect her? She started to wonder what thoughts might be consuming Dair when she looked up at the rearview mirror and caught his intense gaze. Their eyes connected for a brief moment before he looked back at the road. But she had felt the turmoil in those dark eyes all the way to her soul.

  Her attention was taken when Mildred’s house came into view. Serenity felt a churning in her gut as she stared at the house. She had never been one for violence, let alone arson, but in that moment she truly wanted to light the rotting structure up and watch it burn, and hopefully all of the evil within it.

  She reached over and took Emma’s hand as Dair pulled into the driveway. Emma gave it a reassuring squeeze and it wasn’t lost on Serenity that it was the eight-year-old doing the comforting. In all her life, she had never met a person as brave as little Emma.

  “I’ll be fine, Serenity,” Emma told her and the confidence in her voice almost had Serenity believing her.

  “I will do what I can to protect her,” Raphael promised.

  They all climbed out of the car and Serenity felt as if they were walking to their doom rather than Emma’s aunt’s house. As the door opened and a rough looking Mildred emerged, Serenity was sure they were leaving Emma to her doom.

  “Where you been, girl?” Mildred asked attempting to sound like she cared and failing miserably.

  “Are you here alone?” Dair asked her, his stern voice and swirling eyes would have had any smart human being taking a step back. But Mildred wasn’t the swiftest horse in the herd so she actually took a step toward him―toward the hunter who obviously saw her as prey.

  “This is my house, boy; I don’t answers to the likes of you,” Mildred snarled, her true self making its appearance once again. That was the thing about a person’s character; it couldn’t be hidden, not for long. The truth of an individual would always come to the surface eventually, revealing what lay below.

  “That is where you are wrong. Emma is under my protection.”

  “And mine,” Raphael spoke up.

  Not to be left out Serenity piped in. “And mine as well.”

  Dair shot her a look but quickly turned back to Mildred. “If anything happens to her while under your roof, we will hold you responsible and you will pay the consequences.”

  Emma started forward but Serenity grabbed her hand before she had made it two steps. She turned Emma to face her and then knelt down in front of her. “Just because you’re young doesn’t mean that you don’t have rights. If at any moment you feel scared, you get out of there. Don’t hesitate, alright? Raphael will get you out.”

  Emma nodded. “I know, Serenity. I will be fine. Maybe I’m here to help my aunt change her ways. Maybe I’m the only light she will see.”

  Serenity closed her eyes and squeezed them tightly, fighting back the tears. If only they could all be as good and hopeful as this child. But Serenity had lived longer than Emma; she knew that sometimes people didn’t want to be saved. “I truly hope that that’s true,” she whispered to her and then let her hand go. Serenity continued to kneel there as she watched Emma walk toward her aunt. She told her good morning in a polite tone and wished her a Merry Christmas before walking past her and into the house. Mildred gave them all one more nasty look and then slammed the door behind her.

  “I will watch over her,” Raphael said and then disappeared.

  Serenity finally stood but she didn’t take her eyes off of the door that Emma had just entered. She felt as though if she looked away something bad would happen, and it would be their fault for letting her go in to that dark place.

  “I’m going to call DHS,” Serenity said suddenly. “This isn’t right, Dair.” Her heart was pounding so hard in her chest as the muscles in her stomach clenched painfully tight. “We can’t let her stay here. I don’t care what Emma says. This woman isn’t worth saving.”

  Dair walked over to her and placed a gentle hand on her face. “I understand your anger and it is a righteous anger, but we cannot know the heart of another. I agree Emma should not stay here, but I do not want to see you grow bitter. Mildred’s fate is in the hands of the Creator. Whether she is salvageable or not, only he knows.”

  “I guess I’m not as forgiving as you thought, huh?” she asked as she attempted to turn her face from his.

  Dair’s eyes softened. “You are human, Serenity. I never expected you to be perfect. It is the fact that you strive to be the best you that you can be that matters. You will not always succeed, but I won’t hold that against you.”

  “Thanks,” Serenity huffed.

  “Are we heading back to your aunt and uncle’s house for the remainder of the day?”

  “Yeah, Darla’s sister is supposed to be coming in this afternoon.” Serenity took his hand as he guided her back to the car.

  “What’s she like?” Dair asked.

  Serenity waited to answer him until they were both seated in the car. “Let’s just say she’s one of a kind. If you thought Glory didn’t have a filter, well Aunt Willa is a step beyond that.”

  Dair grinned as his eyes glinted playfully. “Then this should be interesting.”

  “That’s an understatement,” Serenity muttered.

  Emma knelt on her knees in her aunt’s kitchen, scrubbing the floor with a rag that wasn’t any cleaner than the filth covered linoleum. Raphael stood in the corner with his arms crossed in front of his huge chest, glowering at her aunt. Of course Mildred couldn’t see him, and it was hard for Emma not to talk to him. His brooding presence was doing nothing for the gloomy atmosphere. As soon as Mildred had shut the door on Emma’s friends, she’d turned her hate filled eyes on Emma. For a brief moment, she was sure that her aunt was going to hit her, and in turn Raphael was going to do something as equally distasteful to Mildred. But instead she just started barking orders: clean this, scrub that, dust this, pick up over there. Emma had decided that Mildred was trying to poison her by forcing her to wallow in this filth.

  By the time she had come to the last few tiles of the kitchen floor, the sun had set and the cold dark night was draping itself over everything outside. Mildred hadn’t said anything to her in a couple of hours and it didn’t hurt Emma’s feelings. But the reprieve wasn’t to last.

  “When’d you leave?” Mildred asked her as she lit a cigarette.

  Emma paused her scrubbing and looked over her shoulder at the worn and wasted woman. “I left last night,” she answered honestly.

  “You ever
think it might not be safe for an eight-year-old girl to go prancing around town in the middle of the night?”

  “I think it was safer than staying here.”

  Mildred’s eyes narrowed. The smoke from her cigarette danced eerily around her face, like a charmed snake waiting for instructions from its master. “What’d you mean by that?” she snapped.

  Emma was trying to decide how much to tell her aunt and what exactly to tell her. She had a feeling that it didn’t matter what she said. Mildred wouldn’t believe her. So when in doubt, go with the truth. “That man, Rat, came into the room. He hit me and I got away from him by climbing through the window.” She waited, sure that her aunt would yell at her.

  Mildred flicked her cigarette ashes onto the floor Emma had just cleaned. “You probably did somethin to piss him off. He don’t go hitting a girl for no reason at all.”

  Emma didn’t say anything to that. What could she say? She knew there was no point in arguing with her aunt. Mildred wasn’t reasonable and therefore could not be reasoned with. Instead, she just went back to scrubbing the floor. Emma was nearly done and she was hoping that Mildred would get caught up in one of her shows so that she could slip off to bed.

  After she rinsed out the dirty rag, which really was a lost cause, she laid it on the edge of the sink. When Emma tiptoed to the edge of the kitchen floor to look into the living room, she saw that her aunt had fallen asleep in her recliner. Her mouth was opened wide and as Emma walked quietly past her and down the hall, she wondered how many spiders had found their way into her aunt’s cavernous mouth. “Yuck,” she whispered to herself.

  When she closed the door behind her, Emma saw that Raphael was already in her room. He stood next to her window looking out into the night. Emma could see the moonlight reflecting off of the white snow making it appear bright against the darkness. It was so hard to look out into the peaceful world, blanketed in the pure snow, and know that outside of those walls was safety. Outside, away from the darkness of that house, were good people, full of light and love. But even though that was true, Emma had meant what she’d told Serenity. Emma might be the only light that her aunt would ever see. She would try to live there a little longer, in hopes that maybe Mildred would see the error of her ways and see that her life could be different.