The Hungry Dragon Cookie Company

by L. G. Estrella

  “I don’t know,” Timmy replied. “You seemed to be doing okay, and we might just get in the –”

  “Get over here and help!”

  Timmy and James sprang back into the fray, and the thunder of combat resumed. Timmy couldn’t believe that the three of them together had yet to land a decent blow. The general was truly superb, and he was smart too. He’d realised that Vicky’s light magic was incredibly versatile, and he refused to give her the time to use it at its full strength and flexibility. Timmy, however, was finally starting to get a read on the general. As good as the zombie was, he still had habits, and learning someone’s habits could change the outcome of a fight.

  On his own, Timmy would have been dead ages ago, but having Vicky and James around gave him the time he needed to spot some of the zombie general’s habits. He hung back, waiting for his opportunity, and when the general committed to the strike Timmy had been expecting, he twisted away and jammed his blade up at the exposed side of his opponent. The general jerked his blade down to intercept the attack, and Vicky lunged forward faster than any human should have been able to.

  Her attack should have cut the general in half. To his credit, he managed to survive but at the cost of an arm. Yet despite having only one arm, he continued to fend them off, fighting with a skill that even Timmy’s master would have envied. But little by little, their advantage began to tell. A cut here, a gash there – the general’s defence was no longer impenetrable. As a zombie, those little wounds wouldn’t kill him or even tire him out, but the damage was beginning to slow his movement. Finally, he missed a block. Vicky yanked her sword down and twisted sharply. They both lost their blades, but Vicky simply created another one. The general was not so lucky. Vicky swung her new weapon and removed the general’s head. The zombie dropped to his knees, and Vicky’s magic made short work of him from there. As the head began to disintegrate, Timmy could have sworn the general was grinning from ear to ear, an expression that was thoroughly disturbing on a zombie. Nevertheless, Timmy found himself smiling too. Perhaps all the general had been looking for was one last good fight before he moved on to the afterlife.

  “Well,” Vicky said with a smile. “That was certainly invigorating.” She glanced down at the general’s swords. “I wish we could have fought him when he was alive. I bet he was even better before he became a zombie. Oh well. Let’s grab his swords and store them away before we go on. If you’re right, Timmy, we still have two more generals to deal with.”

  “Wonderful,” James muttered. “We’ve fought someone who relied mostly on their magic and someone who relied mostly on swordplay. Knowing our luck, we’ll have to face some kind of crazy archer next.”

  Timmy hated it when James was right, but he especially hated it when James was right about people who wanted to kill them. The next hall was even larger, and Timmy was starting to wonder if the cost of building this tomb was what had led to the downfall of the kingdom. To his exasperation, the general there was indeed an archer. They found out the hard way when Timmy was forced to use his shovel to block an arrow aimed for one of James’s eyes. The pompous idiot had been too busy grumbling about the tear in his cloak that he’d picked up during their previous battle to notice the projectile. The resulting explosion tore the shovel out of Timmy’s hands and tossed both him and James back like ragdolls. Vicky was fine because of course she was.

  “Great,” Timmy muttered as he clutched at his lower back and crawled toward his shovel. He really hoped that the pain in his back didn’t become chronic although he wouldn’t be surprised if it did. Lower-back pain was extremely common amongst necromancers, possibly because of all the grave-robbing most of them indulged in. “Our friend here either has arrows tipped with explosives or magic that can make arrows explode.” He looked around. “And the roof here isn’t solid. Instead, there are a lot of exposed beams and places for him to hide.” He grimaced. “Can you flush him out, Vicky?”

  Vicky waved her hands, and small spheres of light flew off in all directions, filling the hall with light. “Over there!” She turned, and beams of radiance raced into the area above them. A darkly clad figure vaulted away, but the beams continued their pursuit. It couldn’t have been easy maintaining the beams for so long, but Vicky wasn’t like most people. A lesser mage had a bucket’s worth of magic to throw around. An exceptionally powerful one might have a swimming pool’s worth. Vicky? She had an ocean to work with. At the last moment, right before the beams could connect, the archer vanished in a cloud of shadows.

  “He can teleport.” James’s expression was murderous. Timmy would have laughed if they hadn’t been facing imminent death via exploding arrow. “So we have a stealthy archer who can teleport and shoot exploding arrows at us.”

  “This is why you shouldn’t tempt fate,” Timmy retorted. “Think about it. Does anyone ever tempt fate and win? It never works. It always, always goes wrong. Next time, maybe you could say something about a dragon. Who knows? It’s not like this isn’t troublesome enough already. At this rate, we’ll run into an ancient dragon capable of spewing fire that can pierce dimensions or something.”

  “Teleportation or not,” James said haughtily. “I can beat him.” His magic slammed into the floor, and he wrenched up dozens of shards of stone. Some of his coins floated around him as well. “My magic is better than any bow, and he won’t catch me off guard again.”

  Timmy politely refrained from pointing out that James couldn’t explode things with his magic. He also politely refrained from laughing when James tried to use his magic to grab the next arrow that the archer fired at him with his magic. Instead of being stopped in mid air, the arrow sailed toward his head, and James tumbled to the ground in an ungainly heap.

  “Impossible!” James growled. “I should be able to stop his arrows with my magic!”

  Timmy rolled his eyes. “Unless he is using specially crafted arrows that are resistant to the magic of other people.”

  James twitched. “Good point.” He frowned. “And you couldn’t have warned me about that possibility earlier?”

  Timmy smiled beatifically. “I’m sorry.” He totally wasn’t sorry. “I simply assumed that you were smart enough to have considered that possibility on your own. Was I wrong?”

  James’s jaw clenched, and Timmy barely managed to keep from laughing.

  “Focus!” Vicky yelled. “You can make fun of each other after we’re done here.”

  What followed was the most bizarre game of tag that Timmy had ever seen or participated in. The archer would teleport around the hall and shoot exploding arrows at them while they dodged and replied with projectiles of their own. Vicky and James had yet to land a solid hit, and Timmy wasn’t having much luck either. Instead, he did his best to watch and analyse the archer’s abilities. The teleportation was annoying, but teleportation rarely came without at least one or two powerful drawbacks. His eyes narrowed. What was the drawback here? There was also the question of the archer’s arrows. He had a quiver, but he’d already fired far more arrows than should have been able to fit into a quiver of that size. The most plausible answer was that the quiver was like the sack Timmy had – bigger on the inside than the outside.

  “Vicky, can you make me a bow?” Timmy asked.

  The chestnut-haired girl tossed him a bow and some arrows made of light. He was no elf with a bow, but he was decent enough with one. Indeed, he was decent enough with almost any weapon. His brows furrowed as he watched the zombie general teleport around the room. There had to be a pattern or a weakness. His eyes narrowed. The general wasn’t teleporting away from everything. Sometimes, he actually bothered to dodge. But why would he bother to dodge if he could just teleport? He smiled. He had an idea.

  He launched an arrow at the archer. “Get ready!” he shouted to Vicky and James. “Attack as soon as he reappears and don’t stop attacking!”

  The archer vanished into another teleport, but Vicky and James attacked the instant he reappeared. The zombie’s milky eyes wid
ened, and he teleported again. Timmy readied an arrow and fired as soon as the zombie reappeared. Again, he teleported, and again Vicky and James pressed their attack once he reappeared. This time, however, there was something different when he teleported. The cloud of shadows was much larger, and the zombie general used far more magic than in his previous teleports.

  “The more rapidly he teleports, the more magic he uses,” Vicky cried. “Nicely spotted! We have to keep pressuring him. He’ll run out of magic eventually, and he can’t counter attack if he has to keep teleporting.”

  They maintained their furious barrage, and after several more minutes of frantic teleporting, there was a snapping sound, like a rope being stretched to breaking point and beyond. The archer tumbled out of the air, and James didn’t need any further encouragement. The dark-haired teenager unleashed a hail of stone and metal, and the general was swiftly reduced to little more than a smear. To be on the safe side, Vicky used her magic to completely destroy the corpse.

  “We should take the bow and the quiver,” James said. “They could come in handy even if none of us can use a bow as well as he did.”

  “One general left.” Vicky grinned. “This shouldn’t be too hard.” She caught Timmy’s horrified look and gave him a thumb’s up. “Relax, Timmy. I was being sarcastic, which means it should actually be easy… or not?”

  “Are you trying to make this harder?” Timmy sometimes wondered if lack of common sense was a prerequisite for having awesome magical power. Probably. It would certainly explain a lot.

  They continued down through the tomb until they reached yet another large hall. Honestly, Timmy doubted that any normal kingdom could have afforded to build something so huge underground. They had to have used slave labour or perhaps summoned creatures like demons or protoplasmic horrors. Sam had told him that some of his kin specialised in building things although their architecture did have a tendency to drive everyone who looked at it insane.

  “So… you’ve made it this far. Congratulations.”

  They all stopped. The words came from a zombie who sat on the far side of a gigantic chessboard. “Welcome. Please, don’t try to run. I am – or I was – quite honourable, but I can be merciless when I need to be. This entire hall has been rigged with traps and enchantments. If you try to leave, I will activate all of them. I’m sure that we’ll all die, but, really, I’ve been dead for centuries.” The zombie grinned, revealing blackened teeth and rotting gums. “Although I suppose you could say that I’m not quite dead yet.”

  “That’s one way to put it.” Timmy slung his shovel over his back and stepped forward. As he’d spoken, the zombie had sent a light pulse of magic through the room. He wasn’t lying. The entire hall was one gigantic trap. “How are we going to do this? Is this going to be one of those challenges where we have to defeat you in a game of chess to survive?”

  The zombie laughed heartily. It was a hideous sound. He slapped his knee and thumped his chest. “Hah! You sound like you’ve done this before, boy. Yes, that’s exactly what this is. Defeat me, and I will gladly disable the traps and enchantments in this hall before going to my eternal rest. Lose, and we all die here.” The zombie chuckled and rubbed his chin. “You know, I was never as devoted to the kingdom as the other three. I was only in it for the money. Look where it got me. The king poisoned my wine, so I could be turned into a zombie.” His lips curled. “He was always an ungrateful bastard. You’d think I’d have earned a nice pension and a comfortable manor near the beach after I won all those wars for him, but here we are.”

  “You’re not going to fight us? You’re going to challenge us to a game of chess?” Vicky asked incredulously.

  “Why not? If you beat the other three, you can definitely beat me in a fight. I was a strategist in life, girl. If I had to fight, the battle was already lost.” He eyed the chessboard fondly. “I’ve been here a long, long time. I just want to rest, but I can’t, not until I’ve fulfilled the conditions placed upon me when I was turned into a zombie. I have to protect this tomb. At least, I have to try to protect it.” He waved them forward. “Come on, let this old zombie enjoy one last game of chess. I haven’t played a decent game in ages, and at least one of you has to be decent.” He paused. “People do still play chess, right?”

  Timmy chuckled. “They do.” Despite the situation, he couldn’t help but like this zombie. “All right. We’ll play, but what are the rules? Do you want to play each of us, or should we play together?”

  The zombie cracked another awful smile. “I like you. Yes, you’re a necromancer. I can feel it, but you’ve got a sense of humour. You’d be amazed by how rare that is in necromancers. Certainly, the bastards who turned me into a zombie didn’t have a sense of humour. It’s a pity they were smart enough to make sure I couldn’t harm them.” He stood up. “Here are the rules. You can either send your best player forward, or you can play as a team. I don’t mind. But we will only play one game.” He smirked. “If you win, I let you past and disable all the traps. If I win – or if there is a draw – we all die. Sound good to you?”

  “It’s not like we have a choice,” Timmy replied. “Let’s go.”

  “Excellent.” The zombie gestured at the board. “Since I’m feeling generous, you lot can be white. I’ll play black. You have three minutes to make your first move.”

  The three of them formed an impromptu huddle. Timmy was the best strategist amongst them and the one who’d played the most chess. Vicky and James were both good at chess too, albeit with different styles. Vicky preferred to overwhelm opponents whereas James preferred to play a more measured game, picking apart his opponent in the late game. After a brief discussion, they came to an agreement. Timmy would take the lead, and Vicky and James would do their best to make sure that he didn’t miss anything or make any silly mistakes.

  “Don’t screw this up,” James murmured. “I enjoy living.”

  “Relax,” Vicky said. “Timmy is probably the best chess player in our class. He’ll be fine.”

  “I’m glad you have such confidence in me,” Timmy whispered before he turned to the zombie and raised his voice. “I’m ready to make our first move.”

  “Then go ahead.” The zombie cackled. “I like those eyes of yours, boy. You have ambition, but it’s tempered with practicality. It reminds me of me.” He grinned mirthlessly. “Try not to end up like me. It’s not pleasant.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind.”

  “Good. Then make your move.”

  The game was not easy. The zombie was incredibly good, and despite being stuck in a tomb for centuries, he wasn’t caught off guard by any of the more modern variations Timmy used to start the game. Instead, he replied by playing a solid defensive game, one guaranteed to take the game into its later stages. Timmy found himself smiling. He hadn’t faced such a good opponent in a long time, but he didn’t plan on losing.

  As the game continued, Timmy was able to eke out a tiny advantage. It wasn’t much, only a piece or two, but he was able to secure a strong position and slowly but surely grind the zombie strategist down. It made him wonder how the game would have gone if their positions were reversed. Many believed that white had the advantage since it had the first move although perfect play by both sides would likely result in a draw. However, people weren’t perfect, and in a close game even a single mistake could lead to defeat. Even now, as they reached the endgame with Timmy in front, there was only a small gap between them. Had Timmy played black instead of white, he could easily have found himself on the losing side of the board.

  “Not bad, not bad at all.” The zombie laughed. “You have checkmate in four moves, correct? I won’t insult you by forcing you to play it out. Well done. It’s nice to see that the people who beat my colleagues have more than just brawn on their side.” His magic flared, and the traps and enchantments around the room began to deactivate. “You’ve won. I won’t stop you.” He gestured at the door behind him. “The king himself awaits you in the hall ahead. And, yes, I k
now this tomb is gigantic. The king may or may not have bankrupted the country and enslaved most of its people to build this place, but you know royalty. Ah, I should have taken that job offer from King Mandaleus IX.”

  Timmy shook his head. “Actually, you should be glad you didn’t. I’ve been to his tomb. It’s even crazier than this one.”

  “Ah.” The strategist winced. “Well, I suppose that my situation is yet another example of how sometimes, there are no good choices, only bad choices and worse ones.” He stared at the chessboard intently as if trying to burn the arrangement of the final pieces into his mind. “Be careful, you three. His Royal Majesty might be a bastard, but he’s a strong bastard, and he’s clung on for far too long already. He won’t go without a fight.”

  “Thanks for the advice,” Timmy said.

  The general tugged off his armour and let it fall to the floor. “You’re a necromancer, right? Could you do me a favour and send me on to the afterlife. I’ve lingered here long enough, and if a necromancer sends me, I can be confident I won’t end up back here again.”

  Timmy nodded. “I can do that. Do you need a moment to prepare yourself?”

  “Boy,” the strategist replied. “I’ve been ready to go for ages.”

  Timmy thrust one arm forward, and the zombie turned to dust. “He wasn’t half bad,” he murmured.

  “No,” James said softly. “He wasn’t. He wasn’t like the others either.”

  “You heard him,” Timmy said. “Being a general was only a job to him. The other three… I wouldn’t be surprised if they remained loyal to the king even in death. He must have had incredibly strong willpower. He did his best to get around the orders he was given, and he even let us play white. A normal zombie would never be able to go that far against their creator’s orders.” He walked over to one of the chess pieces. “And, hey, it’s not like he didn’t leave us with anything good. If I’m not mistaken, these chess pieces are mostly silver with gold trimming.”