The Hungry Dragon Cookie Company

by L. G. Estrella

  “How materialistic of you,” James replied. “But you’re not wrong. If these things are solid silver, they’re worth a lot.”

  “We can have a closer look at them later,” Vicky said. Her gaze went to the door ahead of them. “We’ve got one more fight. Let’s deal with the king and put an end to all of this.”

  The king was waiting for them in the largest, most ostentatious hall yet. It was really quite unbelievable. Setting aside how gaudy it was – the floor was paved with precious stones and the walls were trimmed in amber, silver, and gold – there had be to some kind of spatial magic at work because there was no way a hall this big should have been able to fit underground without Timmy, an earth mage, noticing it from miles and miles away. It would have been like trying to hide a mountain from him.

  Unlike the other generals, the king did not seem to believe in anything even approaching fair play. He’d encased himself in a fifteen-feet-tall suit of armour, one armed with a sword, a shield, and an assortment of other weapons, amongst them glittering crystals that Timmy would bet his shovel operated like magical cannons. The king was also oozing enough magic to make Timmy’s hair stand on end. The first general’s shield had drawn off the power of the tomb and its surroundings. The king was practically swimming in it.

  “You’ve made it far, fools, but this is where you die!” the king bellowed. Timmy and the others barely managed to keep from laughing. Despite the fearsome appearance of the armour – it had the appearance of a massive knight dressed in armour meant to mimic the general aesthetic of a dragon – the king’s voice was awfully high pitched. In fact, he sounded like someone whose voice had never broken, which might explain his need to build such a grossly extravagant tomb. He’d been compensating. “You dare mock me? I am the Eternal King Darkan! None can defeat me!”

  “Are all ancient kings this crazy?” Vicky asked, nudging Timmy.

  “Only the ones who build giant tombs,” Timmy replied. “The regular ones? We never find out about them because they don’t build giant tombs filled with monsters and treasure. They just… die and get buried like normal people.”

  “Good point.” Vicky cracked her knuckles. “And speaking of treasure, let’s get this over with.” Light gathered around her, and she gestured grandly. “Attack!” Timmy snickered. She’d always possessed a flair for the dramatic.

  “You heard her,” Timmy said to James. “Attack!”

  Timmy loped around some pillars and waited for an opportunity as Vicky charged forward to draw the king’s attention. James took up a position on Vicky’s other side, ready to strike if an opportunity presented itself. Unlike in their previous fights, Vicky didn’t waste any time. She summoned a cloak of light around herself and slapped aside blasts of fire, lightning, ice, and shadow with her magic while replying with bolts of blinding radiance that shook the hall and scorched the armour whenever they hit. Timmy winced. She wasn’t pulling her punches much at all.

  The king staggered back and raised his shield. Much like the general’s shield from before, the shield was able to absorb Vicky’s attacks, but Vicky was ready for it this time. Chains of light shot forward, and she tried to wrestle the shield out of the king’s grasp. With the king distracted, James made his move. He shattered parts of the floor and threw an assortment of precious stones at the king. It might have been painful to watch – Timmy was mentally cataloguing the worth of James’s projectiles – but diamonds and the like were extremely hard. The first wave of projectiles bounced off the king’s armour without leaving a scratch, but James was smart enough to change tactics. Instead of targeting different spots, he struck the same spots over and over again. If he could crack the king’s armour, it would be a lot easier for Vicky to finish the fight.

  However, the king was not an idiot. The armour was far too large for a normal person to wear. Timmy strongly suspected that it was more like a golem with some space set aside for the king to operate it from the inside. The king used the size and strength of the armour to force Vicky back with a series of bludgeoning blows from his sword. The blade, which was longer than Vicky was tall, swung down with enough force to turn a boulder into powder. The floor under her cracked as she caught the blow on a sword made of light. Her blade flickered wildly as the space around the king’s weapon warped and twisted. Timmy scowled. The sword had some kind of spatial magic on it, most likely to make it sharper and more durable. Thankfully, Vicky’s magic didn’t have to answer to the laws of physics the way a normal sword did. Her glowing blade brightened, and she shoved the king back with a burst of strength. As the king rumbled forward again, James intervened. He fired gems at the armour’s helmet, but Timmy doubted that would work. The helmet was almost certainly for show. Assuming that the king was a human of roughly normal size and shape, he would be concealed within the golem’s torso, which meant he needed some other way to see what was happening.

  “Aim for the glowing crystals on the chest,” Timmy shouted. “The blue ones. Those are modified scrying crystals. He uses them to see because he’s inside the armour’s chest.”

  That got the king’s attention. He lifted one arm, and Timmy dove just in time to avoid a crossbow bolt that was almost as big as he was.

  “Timmy!” Vicky shouted. “Move!”

  But Timmy was already in motion as the king prepared another attack. Vicky put herself between them, and he ducked behind a pillar. The king was torn between attacking the person who’d identified one of his weaknesses and fighting off Vicky and James. Vicky was warming up, and the mantle of light that had settled around her blazed like a star. Her blows thundered in with even greater force than before, and Timmy’s eyes widened as cracks began to appear on the king’s shield. It was nice to know that attempting to murder him made Vicky mad. As the king spun in a bid to get away from Vicky and attack James, Timmy circled around until he was behind him. Breaking into a sprint, Timmy leapt onto the back of the armour. The armour jerked beneath him, and the king tried to throw him off. Timmy clung on as best he could and jammed his shovel into one of the joints of the armour. He sawed his shovel back and forth until something – hopefully not his shovel – snapped and gave way. The king bellowed in rage and reached back in a bid to grab him.

  “Hold him still!” Timmy shouted.

  If Timmy ever made a suit of armour like this, he’d be sure to build more defences onto its back. As the king flailed about, trying and failing to reach him, glowing tendrils of light grabbed hold of the armour’s arms. The king gave a cry of outrage, but Vicky’s chains were all but unbreakable, and James added his own magic, doing his best to hinder the king’s movements. Timmy clambered over to a narrow gap along the spine of the armour and drove his shovel into it as hard as he could. There was a horrible grinding sound, and Timmy put all of his weight on his shovel. He felt gears and other bits and pieces break and give way, and he drew one leg back and kicked the handle of his shovel. The tool sank another inch or two into the armour, and Timmy kicked his shovel again. This time, the shovel went almost half a foot into the armour, and sparks flew out of the gap. The armour twitched and then dropped to its knees before toppling onto its side. Timmy yanked his shovel free and rolled out of the way. Whatever mechanisms the king used to control the armour had been badly damaged. But Timmy had also noticed something – something disturbing.

  “Cut the chest open,” Timmy said. “But be careful. He could be planning to surprise us.” He paused. “And get ready for a surprise. He won’t be what we’re expecting.”

  Vicky cut the armour open and gasped. “This is…”

  Timmy nodded. Beside him, James made a disgusted sound. The king had no body. Instead, his head had been placed where the golem’s mechanical heart would normally have been. It was connected to a variety of mechanisms and magical devices, many of which were leaking fluid and magic. The king glared at them, hissing and spitting as whatever magic or artifice kept him alive began to fail. Lips twisted into a bitter snarl, the king gave one last roar of defiance befor
e his head crumbled to dust.

  James rubbed his eyes as if he couldn’t believe what he’d just seen. “That was by far the weirdest thing we’ve seen all day.” He shook himself. “What now?”

  Timmy grinned. “We need to find the anchor for the curse on the forest. Once we break it, we should be able to make it through the forest without a hitch. It shouldn’t be far.” He pointed to one of the doors at the far end of the hall. “I’m guessing one of those leads to the anchor. The other one…”

  “I bet the other one leads to the treasury.” Vicky smirked. “We can break the curse first and then go exploring in the treasury. I’m sure we’ll find something nice back there for each of us.”

  * * *

  Timmy schooled his face into an expression of vague contrition as he continued to ignore the yelling of their instructor as he ranted and raved about them going off to explore an ancient tomb without permission. He’d been subjected to similar rants several times in the past, and this particular instructor already disliked him. Instead of saying anything, he pretended to listen and let Vicky and James do all the talking while he mentally catalogued how much his share of the spoils would be worth.

  Vicky had a way of getting what she wanted without people ever realising they’d done exactly as she desired, and James was also surprisingly good at turning the rules against the instructors when the need arose. Timmy would have liked to bring some of his share back to the castle, but he couldn’t risk it. His master would either sell it for booze or trade it in for a nightmarish artefact capable bringing about the apocalypse. He’d have to ask Vicky to hold onto it for now unless, yes, he could go to the bank, but there were certain issues there, again, because of his master. He also wasn’t sure if the bank would agree to store everything, given its policy on dangerous items. Vicky and her family, however, were more than qualified to store dangerous items.

  They had to endure almost an hour and half of being lectured, but they managed to get off with nothing more than a few days of detention and an extra essay. They’d also received the highest marks on the assessment. Apparently, the people who lived near the formerly cursed forest had been very, very pleased about the curse being lifted. It didn’t hurt that a preliminary examination of the tomb by some of the kingdom’s experts had revealed it to be a treasure trove of historically significant artefacts, amongst them a painfully detailed account of the king’s life written by some poor fellow who’d been executed not long after finishing it to ensure that it would remain his greatest achievement. As the ones who had cleared the tomb and made it safe for archaeological study, all three of them were entitled to a nice reward.

  “What are you going to do with your share?” Timmy asked James. The three of them had found a quiet part of the academy to discuss their next move.

  “I could use a better sword. My current one can’t handle too much of my magic without breaking.” James’s lips curled. “One of the swords the generals used would do nicely.”

  “The bow and quiver interest me,” Vicky said. “I need to work on my archery, and my family hasn’t got a better bow.” She smiled faintly. “I actually can’t remember the last time someone from my family specialised in archery. We tend to prefer a more direct approach.”

  “I can imagine,” Timmy said. He grinned. “I’m going to study the shields and the armour. If I can work out how they operate, I might be able to replicate them, or at least, do something similar.”

  “You’re not going to use them?” Vicky asked.

  Timmy shook his head. “I spent some time examining them on our way back. They weren’t really stopping your magic, Vicky. Instead, they were absorbing your attacks and using the magic of the surrounding area to distribute the force of each attack across a huge area. In theory, you would have been able to bypass the shield’s abilities if you’d gone for a really big attack although anything big enough to overwhelm the shield would most likely have brought the tomb down on top of us.” He pursed his lips. “I’d like to have a look at some of the books too, once the archaeologists have finished cataloguing them. I took a few, but I didn’t have space to take all of the interesting ones.”

  “Those books you’re interested in are evil, and you know it.” James scoffed. “Didn’t you read the warnings on the front? They’ll drive you insane.”

  “Maybe,” Timmy replied. “But there aren’t many books that cover magic from so long ago. There could be new magic that we don’t know about or ways to use magic that we’ve forgotten.” He patted the pouch full of gems in his pocket. “Unlike some people, I need to seize every opportunity I can.”

  “I’ll speak to my cousin. She’s one of the archaeologists.” Vicky smiled impishly. “Now about the gold and other valuables we’re entitled to…”

  “Split it evenly between us.” James shrugged. “We all did our share of the work.” His gaze sharpened as he looked at Timmy. “I imagine you’ll have more problems handling your share than either of us.”

  Despite calling him an idiot whenever he could get away with it, Timmy knew that James was actually rather clever. He might not have known exactly who Timmy was, and if he’d known whom Timmy’s master was, he would have reported him to the authorities immediately. But he understood enough to know that Timmy didn’t always go about things in a strictly legal way.

  “I’ll make arrangements,” Timmy said at last. “I’m just glad we only had to listen to him prattle on for an hour and a half. The last time I was there, he went for almost three hours.”

  * * *

  Katie hurried over to her master. She’d been scouring maps for places where ancient tombs might be, so they could liberate them of their ancient wealth. She was certain she’d found one, and any treasure they found would be put to good use. The courtyard near her chambers could use some work, and she wouldn’t mind expanding her favourite lab. Oh, and there was also that sale on manticores coming up in a few weeks. One manticore would be nice, but three or four would be even better. “What about here, master? There should be an ancient tomb there for us to raid.”

  “I’m impressed you spotted that place.” A wry smile crossed his lips. “But there’s no point in us going there.”

  “What? Why?” Disappointment coursed through her. Aside from the money they could get, he’d finally agreed to let her come along with him to raid a tomb, provided the tomb wasn’t too dangerous. “Master?”

  “There is a tomb there. I raided it when I was younger. It was a bit rough. I definitely wouldn’t take you if its guardians were still around. However, it’s under the authority of the Everton Archaeological Society now. Any treasure left is also historically important, but you don’t have to worry.” Timmy chuckled. “I made sure to get as much of the good stuff as I could.”

  “Was there anything interesting?” Katie asked excitedly.

  “There was plenty of the usual stuff, like precious metals and gemstones. As for what else there was…” He stood up and gestured for her to follow him. “It’ll be easier if I just show you. Some of it has proven to be quite handy over the years.”

  Katie eagerly followed her master through the winding corridors of the castle. He didn’t always act like it, but he was a Grand Necromancer. Plus, nobody could have raided as many tombs as he had without being reasonably powerful and skilled. “What else did you find?”

  “Some of the tomb’s guardians used equipment that I’ve spent years studying. Many of the runes and seals I’ve added or replaced to make the castle more secure were inspired by that equipment. I also managed to get my hands on some interesting books.” He bit back a smile as Katie practically tackled him.

  “Books, master?” Katie cried. “What kind of books?”

  “The kind I can’t keep in the library because of how dangerous they are.” He stopped in front of a heavy door, and Katie waited with bated breath as he began to unlock both the door’s mechanical lock and its magical defences. “I can show you a few of the books, but you have to do exactly as I say. I’
d rather not have to deal with an insane apprentice.”

  Katie nodded quickly. She couldn’t wait to get a look at the books. There was something so thrilling about poring over a forbidden tome of ancient lore. “I promise I’ll follow your instructions.”

  “Good.” He opened the door. “We’ll start off with The Book of Unhallowed Aeons.”

  First Meeting

  (Set After Two Necromancers, a Dragon, and a Vampire)

  Sam – trans-dimensional, protoplasmic horror and cake aficionado extraordinaire – drifted in the air not far from Old Man. The swordsman had asked Timmy if he wanted to go fishing with him, and Timmy had asked Sam if he wanted to come along. The necromancer knew that Sam had been busy tending to the hatchlings of his kind, so some time away from them would be a welcome change. They were curious creatures, the hatchlings, so educating them could be quite exhausting since they had so much to learn about their powers and the world around them. It wouldn’t do for one of them to eat one of the castle’s servants or some passing villager, and it certainly wouldn’t do for one of them to disturb one of the titanic Others that slumbered in the lightless, unhallowed depths beneath the castle.

  They would be fishing at the lake, which wasn’t far from the castle, but Sam could only go so far from the castle before things became complicated. He and his kind were not meant to exist in this world. If he strayed too far from the castle without the proper precautions, he could easily find himself cast back into the seething, twisted chaos of his home dimension, a dimension that was distinctly lacking in cake.

  Old Man greeted Sam with a cheerful wave, and the horror returned the gesture with one of his tentacles. He had met many humans over the long years of his existence, and their reactions to him typically ranged from terrified screaming to cardiac arrest. Old Man, though, simply followed up his greeting by asking if Sam needed to borrow a fishing rod.

  Sam couldn’t blame humans for being terrified of him. He was basically their worst nightmare made flesh, and his kind did sort of want to usher in the apocalypse. Sam might one day help with that, but for the time being, he had no intention of bringing about the end of the world. There was still plenty of cake for him to eat, and he’d grown to enjoy life at the castle. It would also be good for the hatchlings to spend some time on a relatively peaceful world. Once war broke out between his kind and the various other entities that could wander across worlds and dimensions, it had a tendency to drag on for aeons. Perhaps later, long after Timmy, Katie, and everyone he liked had passed on, he might awaken the Others. For now, he was content with how things were. He definitely wouldn’t have been able to go fishing in his home dimension.