Forever

by Karen Ann Hopkins

  We hadn’t had sex since that night at my aunt Debbie’s house, which seemed like a million years ago. Although parts of our time together were still vivid in my memory, some things were blurred. I certainly didn’t feel like I was experienced in the art of lovemaking. The whole business was still awkward, and being pregnant didn’t help matters, either.

  As I glanced out the window into the Gatlinburg wilderness, I wondered if it would be as nice as it had been the first time. I guessed it would be, especially since we were finally married and could do it without guilt or worry of being caught. And here we were in a cozy cabin at the top of a mountain in Tennessee—it was definitely a romantic location.

  Still, as I clutched the doorknob in my hand, I hesitated. What if Noah found the negligee offensive? He might think I was a floozy or something.

  After glancing down one last time, I made up my mind and reached for the suitcase.

  * * *

  Noah was lounging on the bed with one arm behind his head and the other holding a tourist booklet when I entered the room. It was still strange to see him wearing blue jeans and a T-shirt, and I passed my eyes over the normal street clothes a second time, not totally sure that they suited him.

  Hearing the door open, he said without looking up, “Do you feel up to taking a hike to Mount LeConte tomorrow morning?”

  I stopped and stared for a few seconds, before he finally gazed up at me.

  He immediately grinned and looked down, before raising his face once again with a more neutral face.

  After clearing his throat, he said, “I was hoping you’d come out dressed in that pretty blue nightgown.”

  All uneasiness left me, and I leaped on the bed, grabbing one of the many piled pillows and throwing it at him.

  He laughed as he ducked and rolled sideways. An instant later he had me tight in his arms, and I gave up the feigned fight.

  “Seriously, sweetheart, why on earth are you wearing sweatpants and a T-shirt?”

  His eyes were warm and still laughing, and I leaned back and chuckled myself.

  “Were you poking through my things, Noah Miller—how else would you even know about it?”

  He shrugged innocently and smiled. “Where did you get it, anyway?”

  “It was a gift from Summer, if you can believe it. I thought she’d lost her mind when I opened the box.”

  “Don’t you like it?” he said softly as his fingers began twirling circles on my arm.

  His touch made my tummy do a flip, and I found it hard to concentrate, but I took a deep breath and managed to say, “Sure I like it, but I wasn’t sure if you would.”

  He stopped moving his fingers and leaned back. “We’re married now. You can wear anything you’d like around me…or nothing at all.”

  I blushed and turned away, but he caught my chin and pulled it back to face him.

  “After everything we’ve been through, you aren’t going to suddenly act shy around me—are you?”

  “No, I guess not. It’s just that it feels kind of unreal, don’t you think? We’ve dreamed about this day for so long, and it’s hard to believe that it’s finally arrived.”

  He nodded his head and pulled me against his chest. The soft stroking of his hand on my head made me relax, and I savored the feeling, wishing that it would never end.

  “I know what you mean, but you’re my wife now—no one can keep us apart.”

  The look in his eyes was so intense that my heart skipped a beat. We really were married, and he was right; nothing in the world could change the fact. It was time to begin enjoying it.

  I reached over and pushed the booklet off the bed and said, “I’m not interested in hiking plans.”

  Noah’s smile deepened, and he teased, “What are you interested in, Mrs. Miller?”

  When my mouth touched his, he got his answer.

  At first his touches were extra gentle, as if we were afraid of harming the baby, but after a couple of minutes, desire took hold of both of us. In a sudden frenzy, our clothes were off, and his body was pressing me into the mattress.

  I smiled against the side of his face when I realized that it didn’t matter whether I wore the pretty nightie—it would have been off just as fast as the sweats were.

  I hadn’t realized how heavy my heart had been with sorrow until this moment, when it all disappeared. Noah’s arms around me and his warm breath on my neck erased the heartbreak of the previous year and deadened the ongoing pain of losing Mom and the new pain of Sarah’s death.

  I was finally happy again.

  46

  Noah

  I stared at the small white house in utter disgust. The neighbors to the right and left were only an arm’s length away, and there was no yard to speak of, only some packed dirt between the porch and the busy roadway and a few yards of grass in the back.

  “It’s not as bad as it looks, and besides, it’s all we can afford at the moment.”

  I glanced at Rose. Her hair was pulled up in a ponytail, and she’d chosen to wear a large shirt that hid her growing belly. To most people, she would have appeared calm enough, but I knew better. The tightness of her lips and the rise of her eyebrows dared me to complain about the living arrangements that she and her aunt had picked out.

  Turning to watch the cars streaming along the street, I admitted there wasn’t much I could say about it. After the honeymoon trip to the Smokies, I’d stayed in Meadowview for a couple of weeks in order to do some handyman jobs around the farm of an Englishman I’d come to know through Father’s business, while Rose had gone to the city. I had been thrilled to have the opportunity to make some extra money before the move to the city, especially since the job had required me to be on the roof of a barn with the sun on my back, instead of stocking shelves in a warehouse-type store.

  The absence from Rose had been the most difficult part, but I’d held on to my connection with Meadowview until the last possible moment. I didn’t want to move to this ugly, crowded place, but I had no choice. It was the best for my wife and unborn child, and I’d have a way to earn a living.

  Looking back at Rose, I forced a smile and took her hand when she reached out to me. Letting her pull me up the stairs and through the door, I did my best to be upbeat about the ridiculously tiny rooms. Each time I glanced out a window, I saw only the outside walls of other houses, and the air coming through them was corrupt with the smells of exhaust and pavement. Still, I murmured words of encouragement and nodded my head when Rose would point out something that she thought was special—like the dishwasher or the flat-screened TV that one of her grandmothers had gifted us for the wedding.

  For an Englisher, the place was probably pretty nice, but for a fellow that was used to a large, sprawling home and hundreds of acres of crops, fields and trees beyond its windows, this place was quite a disappointment.

  The tour ended in the bedroom, and she sat on the edge of the bed, wearing a frown once again. I hated seeing her lovely face marred with unhappiness, and as I sat beside her, I put my arm around her.

  “The place is very nice.”

  “Don’t lie—you hate it,” she pouted.

  I blew out a breath, clearing my thoughts. Of course, she’d see through my act. Rose knew me better than anyone.

  “All right, to be honest, it’s definitely not what I’m used to, but for all that, it’s not too bad, either. And like your aunt keeps saying, it’s only temporary.”

  “I know it sucks. All the nicer places I looked at were too expensive, and Dad and Aunt Debbie agreed that we should get a cheap place that’s close to your work so that we can save money quicker.”

  “They’re right. We need money to start up my own construction business and put a down payment on a small farm. We have to be patient.”

  She looked up at me with doubt. “
Can you really survive living like this, Noah?”

  Without hesitation, I said, “I’ll have to.”

  She nodded, and then her mouth lifted into a grin.

  “You promised that today you’d come out with me and practice driving.”

  I couldn’t help rolling my eyes and dropping back onto the mattress.

  “I only barely passed the permit test. I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

  “But you did pass, and that’s all that matters. Now you have to get out there and start driving!”

  I thought hard for a few seconds and smirked up at her. “You’re only seventeen. I can only go out with a driver who’s eighteen.”

  Quickly she answered, “I already thought about that. Sam should be waiting on the curb by now.”

  I shot off the bed and threw my hands in the air. “No way am I practicing driving with your brother.”

  “You’re being unreasonable. Sam came all the way to the city, taking a day off from his job to help you learn to drive.” Her eyes widened as she looked up at me, saying in a louder voice, “Do you really want me to send him away?”

  I stared out the window at the peeling white paint on the neighbor’s house. This place was a gold mine of work possibilities. If I had some of my own tools, I could earn income on the side. And, if I could drive my own pickup truck, I’d be one step closer to moving back to the country.

  My stomach tightened when I said, “No, you’re right. It’s nice of him to take his time to help me out. I’ll go.”

  “Great, I’m going to stay here and attempt to make pork chops the way Ruth taught me. Sam said something about guy-bonding time.”

  Then I knew that I was really up a creek. Time alone with Sam was never a good thing.

  47

  Sam

  “You need to speed up or we’re going to get rear-ended.”

  “I’m going as fast as I’m comfortable with. Why did you direct me on to this busy road, anyway?”

  I rolled my eyes and thudded my head back against the seat. The past half hour riding around with Noah had been a real pain in the ass. The guy didn’t know the first thing about driving—he didn’t even understand basic directions. We’d already been beeped at several times and had run over a couple of curbs.

  Taking a deep breath, I tried to be patient and said, “When you’re learning to drive, you need to throw yourself into it and not be afraid of the highway. Rose wants to coddle you on this, but it won’t do you any good if you stay on the half-dead secondary roads all the time. You won’t learn a thing.”

  “I don’t feel like I’m learning much at the moment, except maybe how to avoid having a wreck,” Noah said as he gripped the steering wheel and leaned forward.

  “Hey, man, that’s what it’s all about at first— Not getting killed,” I said, chuckling, but absently I did check that my seat belt was tight again. “Besides, those damn buggies you drive are a hell of a lot more dangerous than a car or a pickup truck, like this one.”

  Noah shook his head and said, “The only dangers for us in the buggies are the motorized vehicles and their ignorant drivers.”

  I snorted. “Well, you’re one of those ignorant drivers now, so suck it up. You better learn how to drive safely and pretty damn quick, too.”

  “Why are you so interested in my driving skills, Sam?”

  “Because my little niece or nephew and my sister will be at your mercy, that’s why.”

  His face sobered, losing the arrogance that had developed during the argument. Sure I felt a little bad for the guy—after all, he’d been thrown into a world of craziness compared to the slow-paced country existence he’d grown up in.

  “Hey, take the next exit, and slow it down,” I shouted, deciding at the last minute to go on an excursion.

  Noah mumbled something under his breath about going too fast and then too slow, before he barely made the turn on to the ramp.

  This part of Cincinnati was a shade on the dark side, and I scanned the beat-up-looking houses for a clue to where we were.

  “There’s this burger joint down this way that I went to with the football team last year after a game. I think it’s somewhere on this road.”

  “You don’t even know where we are?” Noah’s voice hit a higher pitch, and I had to smile at him.

  “Sure I do, somewhere on the east side of town.” After noticing small groups of men huddled on the street corners, I added, “Just in case, you should lock the doors.”

  “You’ve got to be kidding me. I’m supposed to be learning how to drive, not how to survive the city.”

  “Now is a good time to do both.” I said the words jokingly, but it had just occurred to me that we’d taken the wrong exit. I was scrambling in my mind, trying to decide which way would be the fastest to get our asses back on the interstate.

  Noah’s alarmed voice turned my head suddenly. “Something’s wrong with the truck. It’s slowing down by itself.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  I leaned over and looked at the gauges. My heart landed in my stomach when I saw that we were out of gas.

  “Dammit, didn’t you notice the little yellow gas tank blinking?”

  “I was too busy trying to stay in between the lines and not hit the other cars. You should have known that you were low on gas,” he growled back at me.

  He was partly right. I’d been so busy directing him every inch of the way that I’d forgotten that I needed to fuel up. Most people would have noticed the gauge warning, but not Mr. Suspenders.

  Even though my new brother-in-law was wearing a pair of regular jeans and a solid blue T-shirt, I still couldn’t help calling him the nickname I’d given him a while ago in my mind. There was something foreign about him—his mannerisms and speech were all wrong. Sure, we could dress him up like one of us, but deep down he was still one hundred percent Amish.

  Noah was smart enough to turn the wheel so that we ended up stalled close to the curb, and then he turned and demanded, “What do we do now?”

  I pulled my cell phone from my pocket and said, “I’ll call Rose. She can drive out here with a container of gas, just enough to get us to a gas station.”

  “No way—I don’t want Rose coming to this run-down part of the city by herself. What if she gets lost like you did?”

  “I’m not lost, just a little off track. But, yeah, I see your point.” I thought for a few more seconds and said, “I’ll try Heath. He’s probably home.”

  Heath didn’t answer and neither did Uncle Jason. I even tried Hunter, but he was working and said that I’d have to wait until his shift was over. From the dull sound of his voice, I knew that he was still bummed out that he’d lost Rose forever. After hanging up, I regretted even calling him, but I was surprised that he was willing to drive all the way to the city to help Rose’s new husband out. It proved what a stellar guy he was.

  The sun had dropped low enough in the sky that a string of street lamps came on. I could hear the hum of the one closest to the truck through the small opening at the top of the window. The evening was warm, and I was beginning to sweat. Wiping my brow, I reached over and turned the ignition enough to allow me to drop the window a few more inches.

  “Do you think that’s wise?” Noah asked in his usual uptight voice.

  I shot back, “It’s better than dying of heat stroke.”

  Before Noah could reply, the tap on the window had us both turning.

  “Are you guys in some kind of trouble?”

  The voice belonged to a middle-aged man on the pavement. He smiled, showing a missing front tooth, but the clothes he wore over his husky body looked in good condition. I could even smell the tangy scent of the same laundry detergent that Aunt Debbie used.

  I glanced at Noah and absorbed his wide eyes
and shrug. He had no clue how to handle this. It was all me on this one. Unless it came to a fight— At least I was confident that Noah could hold his own in a rough situation, unless a gun was pulled. I tried to squash the thought and smiled up at the man.

  “Yeah, man, we’re out of gas. Is there a station nearby?”

  The man nodded and said, “Sure is.” He pointed up the road and said, “A few blocks that way, you turn right and head another couple of blocks to a small ma and pop joint.”

  I turned to Noah, and asked, “Are you ready for a stroll in the city?”

  He rolled his eyes but gripped the door handle, anyway. Once we were out and had the truck locked, the man walked up beside us and said, “Here, wait a minute. If you want, you can borrow my gasoline jug.” Without giving us a chance to respond, he sprinted away to the closest driveway and added, “I’ll only be a sec.”

  “Can we trust this guy?” Noah said in a whisper.

  “No telling, but at least I have insurance on the truck.”

  I wasn’t going to get all worked up over nothing. We’d probably be back on the highway within twenty minutes.

  The sudden shout beside the house that our Good Samaritan ran to jolted both of us, and I motioned Noah to follow me.

  When I turned the corner, I was amazed to see the tall man in a scuffle with three other men. The other guys were grabbing for the red jug, and I heard one of the men say, “What you helping that fool for? That big ol’ truck has some valuable parts in it.”

  My stomach did a flip at the words, but I didn’t let the queasy feeling get to me. Stretching my legs into a run, I closed the distance to the fighting men quickly. Noah was at my side, and for an instant I wondered what he was thinking before I jumped into the melee.

  I got a hold of the man who’d spoken and pushed him away with both hands. Noah had the guy to the right in his grasp, and before I began to tackle the third guy, I saw him punch the man soundly in the face.