Deadly Chaos (Steel Roses Book 2)

by Samantha Bee

  The tears that I was holding at bay finally start to spill down my face as I walk over to him. “I know you don’t trust me,” I whisper as I place a hand against his chest, grateful when he doesn’t flinch. I look up at him. “I don’t need you to trust me, not yet.” Even I can hear the pleading in my voice. “But I miss you. Please don’t trust me while being my partner in crime? I promise I’m trying.” I shake my head as more tears rush down my face. “I know it cut deep but I promise to never run again. I’ll never abandon you again, even if I feel scared or overwhelmed. I promise that running will no longer be an option.” My voice cracks as I get the last bit out. “I promise to never be like your mom again.”

  He reaches out and grabs me by the arms, slightly shaking me, panic written across his face. “How do you know about my mom? I never told you.”

  I shake my head. “I always remembered that day in the park,” I confess a secret I held onto for years. “I never forgot the two little boys that seemed like they fit with my soul. I just never knew how to cross the bridge between us. But I never forgot the kind boy with the sad green eyes.” I reach up and brush the hair out of his face. “I’m sorry for being such a goddamn female dog.”

  He laughs and I somehow know we are going to be okay. Even if it’s not this moment, Kade will forgive me. “My biggest regret is putting you through that not once, but twice. I’m a fuck up of massive proportions, and a bigger cunt than even I knew was possible, but I really want to be your Ladybug again.”

  He brushes the tears off my face. “Letty,” he chokes out and I can hear every ounce of emotion overflowing.

  “Just fucking kiss me, Stranger.”

  He chuckles and he sounds more like himself as he starts to lean down and I hold my breath but just before his lips land on mine, something on the floor catches his attention. He pulls away and bends down to pick up something that had fallen out of my purse.

  I huff in annoyance. I was close to breaking him and he had the nerve to get distracted. I don’t even look to see what the culprit was.

  “What is this?” I look over, hearing the amusement in his voice. My eyes catch on the bracelet in his hand and I can feel the instant blush as my entire face burns in embarrassment.

  I stutter over my explanation. “Just, you know, just a bracelet. I didn’t even know it was in there. How random. So strange.” I go to snatch it out of his hands, but he lifts it out of my reach.

  Fucking tall people. Bastards, the lot of them.

  His laughter fills the room and even though I’m fucking embarrassed, the sound warms me as he sounds like himself again.

  “I bought this for you,” he teases, “way back on the second or third time we hung out.”

  I hang my head, knowing I’m already caught. I swore I would be more open anyways. “It was the second time,” I mumble, and he laughs all the harder.

  “Why do you have this in your purse?”

  “Give it back and I’ll tell you,” I demand.

  He starts to lower it but just as I go to grab it, he tugs it back out of my reach. “No lying.”

  I huff, “I promise.”

  He finally places the bracelet in the palm of my hand. I sigh as I trace the ladybug charm on it before admitting the truth. “I’ve carried it with me ever since that day.”

  His mouth parts in shock. “Why?”

  I shrug. “Because I loved it. Because I loved my nickname. Because even though I’m stupid, a part of me always knew you were a piece to my fucked up soul.”

  He taps under my chin until I’m looking up at him, his signature dopey grin in place but tears also welling in his eyes. “I’ll consider forgiving you,” he hesitates and the hope that had been quick to soar in my chest, halts just as fast, “but you have to date me.”

  I tilt my head in confusion. “Umm, Kade? That’s what I’ve been saying I want.”

  He nods his head, that grin turning much more into a smirk. “It is,” he agrees, “but I mean the whole damn nine yards.” I flinch already knowing he’s going to do everything in his power to push me out of my comfort zone, but I nod anyways. “Good, then you agree. Can’t kiss until at least after the first date. Maybe the third.”

  Wait what?

  No. I did not fucking agree to that.

  “No, Kade. Don’t do that!” I screech.

  He just chuckles as he scoops up my belongings back into my purse.

  “Come on, Ladybug. We have a park to get to.” He hands me my bag and looks down at me. “This doesn’t count as a date.” Before striding out of the house.

  I stand rooted to the spot he left me looking around as if someone is going to pop out and explain to me what in the ever loving fuck just happened.

   Chapter Twenty-One

  Roe's musical giggles fill the studio. Her little legs wrapped around Scarlett's waist as they both spin in their separate silks. Scarlett pushes them to spin faster and faster as Roe's laughter urges her on. I can't help the smile that tugs at my lips. They have become the light in my life that I didn't even know I was missing. Funny, seeing as how her mother is the darkest sin I've ever encountered and yet, she makes me feel ten shades lighter than I have ever felt. Even as I would sink into the bleakest parts of hell for her.

  She's captured and tamed the beast within, without even realizing it. She is a special type of extraordinary. The perfect blend of all that is good in the world and all the ugliest parts too, creating a beautiful chaos all around us.

  It's not my first time watching the two of them learn and practice the silks, but it never stops from knocking me speechless. Arms by Christina Perri plays as Lila calls out directions to both of them. "Okay Roe, step back now," she calls out and Roe is quick to run over to us to watch Scarlett for a minute. Scarlett releases the silks and touches back down to the mat just as the music pauses.

  Kade moves towards her as Lila walks over to explain the next sequence she wants them to do. Scarlett laughs as Lila uses her hands to gesture where she wants Scarlett to move her body. Kade hands her water and she drinks half of it as she continues nodding to whatever Lila is saying. Kade takes back the bottle as he heads back to us, his head ducked and a smile tugging on his lips.

  He's been consistently softening towards Scarlett ever since they started going on his dates. I have to say, it isn't an idea I hate for all of them to start doing. They have such an unconventional start to their relationship that there are so many steps they have skipped altogether. I think it would be good for all of them to take some steps starting over as Kade is doing with her.

  He's still not my favorite but at least now, I can see why Scar fell for him so hard. He fits a piece of her so perfectly. Sating her need for crazy and adrenaline rushes while helping her smile at her own destruction instead of drowning in it.

  He moves to stand next to me as he turns back to watch Scarlett get positioned. Roe moves back to stand next to Lila, waving wildly at us as she goes. Kade slightly tilts his head towards me as we watch her. "Everything ready?"

  I nod, never taking my eyes off of the girls. "All we have to do is pick it up after this."

  He grins and nods as the music starts back up. We fall silent until only the music and Lila's voice rings through the studio. I can't take my eyes off the way Scarlett's body moves as she climbs up the silks, using her arms to pull her up while she wraps the silks through her calves and bare feet to propel her body up. She only moves about six feet off the ground before Lila calls out, "That's good, babe. Now single foot lock with your right foot first!"

  Scarlett maneuvers her right leg around one of the silks until it's wrapped around her calf before making another wrap that goes over her foot. As she moves, the silk is pushed towards her ankle to give her a foothold. "Good. Left foot now." Roe looks up at her mom in awe as she shifts her weight to her right foot and repeats the move with her left leg.

  Lila calls out encouragement and directions every step of the way. As soon as both feet are secure, she stands straight up be
fore loosening her grip with her right hand and moving it so both hands are holding the same silk. She turns ninety degrees before reaching back to grab the opposite silk, causing the silks to be crisscrossed behind her to help support her as she throws her head back and lifts her legs up until she hangs in an upside down split position.

  Scarlett spins in slow circles as she remains upside down. She spins back until she’s facing towards us and I see her grinning as her eyes search out Roe, wiggling her now free hands towards her. Roe wastes no time running back up onto the mat and barrels towards her mom.

  Even Lila chuckles as Roe grabs a stool and moves it under Scarlett before climbing up it and locking arms with her. Lila moves over to them and pushes the stool out from under them, so Roe is hanging only from where Scar holds her.

  Lila moves back and starts calling out positions to Roe. "Arabesque!"

  Roe doesn't even hesitate as she drops one hand, points her toes on her left leg to the ground and moves her right leg behind her at a ninety degree angle. Lila calls out corrections even as Scarlett continues to slowly spin them around in gentle circles. "Good," Lila yells as she claps when Roe hits the positions to her satisfaction.

  The two of them move in perfect synchronization, rising and falling on the silks as they contort their bodies into all sorts of different positions. Lila's voice is the only sound other than the music as we all stand by entranced by the way they both are able to move.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I see Luca flinch several times as if he's stopping himself from running over to Roe when she moves in new and crazy positions. She hangs upside down, suspended by only Scarlett's grip on her foot before curling back up in on herself and grabbing Scarlett's hands once more just as Lila yells, "Pike!" Roe swings her legs back up over her head, practically folding herself in half.

  "Up!" she yells, and Scarlett pulls her arms up and Roe relaxes the pose to hook her legs under Scarlett's arms and releases her hands. Scarlett braces her back to give her enough support as Roe moves up Scarlett's body. She grabs a hold of the silks before slipping her legs through the silks and mimics Scarlett's position falling upside down and into a split.

  Luca begins cursing under his breath even as Lila praises the pair of them. She shuts off the music as she helps Roe and Scarlett both down from the apparatus. Roe dances in place as she squeals in excitement. This is the first time they've made it through the entire sequence without Lila having to intervene or without them starting over.

  I'm amazed at how far the both of them have come in the little time that I have known them. Especially since I know they only took up aerial arts a few months prior to that as well.

  Noah's openly grinning and bouncing on the heels of his feet as we all start clapping and cheering the girls on. He looks over at me, "Are we all set to go?"

  I'm not particularly close with any of the guys yet, but if I had to choose the two that I was on slightly better terms with, it would be Noah and Luca. I give him a small smile, not used to smiling as openly and freely as they tend to, and nod. "Just have to do the pickup and meet back at the house."

  Even Ryder is letting his excitement shine through. We really have to get out of here before Scarlett picks up on the fact we are hiding something from her. I'm shocked she hasn't already confronted us over it. I don't think there's any way she hasn't noticed something is up. I think she's just letting us have this, but I know it won't last if we pique her interest too much.

  I exchange looks with Luca and gesture to the door. He nods, agreeing before moving over to let Scarlett and Roe know that Ian and Holden are here to take the girls home while we go and run an errand. I watch as he awkwardly pats her shoulder before freezing.

  I shake my head and scoff. Kade turns to me, "He's acting like a prepubescent idiot around his crush?"

  I'm surprised by the laughter that eddies up out of me. "We talked about it but clearly," I trail off, gesturing to the awkward display in front of us. Scarlett just shakes her head and rolls her eyes as Luca still just stands there. She grabs his shirt and pulls him down to her, giving him a quick kiss.

  "Now stop being such a little bitch," she calls as she releases him and walks away, scooping Roe up as they head to the back changing rooms. She waves over her shoulder at the rest of us, calling out, "Have fun." Roe giggles as she waves goodbye to us too.

  Luca stands locked in place still dazed. I trade looks with the other three, but they are all quick to rush for the door, leaving our supposed leader for me to handle. Again.

  I sigh as I move towards him. I nudge his shoulder to break his train of thought. "She literally called you a little bitch." I shake my head as he snaps out of it.

  "Fuck," he snaps.

  "Fuck is right," I agree, "but we have places to be."

  I rush him out the door and towards the Cadillac. Kade's already sitting behind the wheel with Noah in the front seat. We hop into the back and head to our destination.

  The excitement is palpable in the car. All five of us vibrate with the same energy.

  If I thought we had been excited before, it's nothing compared to the energy now as we pull back up Luca's driveway. This time Luca is behind the wheel with Ryder upfront and I'm in the back with Kade and Noah. The entire time the two of them have been having a silent conversation with only their eyebrows and subtle looks.

  I have absolutely no idea what conclusion they've come to together, but I know it has something to do with me by the appraising looks they keep giving me. I cock my head to the side. "Are you two going to spend the rest of the day just staring at me or what?"

  A pink blush creeps up Noah's neck, but his facial expression doesn't change. Kade, on the other hand, just grins. I see why Scarlett always described him as having a big dopey grin. He stays silent for a moment longer, just studying my face before his eyes flick to Luca and back to me.

  "You talked to Luca to help get over," he hesitates, taking a deep breath. "Well, whatever the hell it is." It's not a question but a statement. A random statement.

  He already knows I did, but I decide to take the bait of whatever the fuck they're trying to lay down. "Tried to at least," I agree.

  "This was also your idea." He gestures to all of us around the car as we continue the drive up to the house.

  "Yes?" It comes out as more of a question because I really can't tell exactly where he's going with this by repeatedly stating the obvious. "Is there a point to this?"

  He just continues to grin at me as he looks around the car. He waits until Luca finally pulls up in front of the house. Instead of everyone moving to get out of the car, they all turn to look at me. I trade looks with all of them but none of them give me anything to go off of except Kade's big ass grin.

  I knew I was right when I pegged them as a bunch of idiots.

  I roll my eyes and sigh, waiting for them to get to whatever point this is all supposed to be leading to. I didn't know anyone could be more dramatic than Scarlett, but fuck was I wrong.

  Kade shrugs, his grin falling slightly into more normal territory even if not completely. "Look," he says, his smile dropping into a somewhat more serious look. "In all seriousness, you didn't have to bring any of us in on this plan." He gestures to the present we bought for Roe. "You could have done this entire thing by yourself and secured your spot as the favorite for," he hesitates, looking around before his eyes lock on Roe's present. "Well probably forever," he sighs.

  "You didn't have to try to help Luca. You didn't have to bring us in on this," Noah explains. "But you did. Why? It's not like we are close."

  I cock my head as I think about the answer. The reason I helped Luca is simple. "Scarlett wants Luca and I want Scarlett to have what she wants."

  Ryder scoffs and chuckles into his hand as he mutters, "Lord help us with a spoiled Scar."

  Kade chuckles at him but brings us back to the topic at hand. "And why this?"

  Why did I include them on this?

  I look down at the present sitting in my
lap as I think about the answer. I don't really know why I included them, I didn't give it much thought. I had the idea and just thought it would be fun to surprise both of the girls and not only Roe.

  I shrug, not bothering to look back up at any of them as I answer. "Just felt right." I have no other words to describe why I did. Just that. It felt like it would mean more if it came from all of us. That the girls would enjoy a present from all of us more than one from just me.

  I catch them all trading looks out of the corner of my eye before they nod. I look back up and meet Kade's eyes, so much lighter and more playful than I've ever seen him before. Every day I can see more and more of the men Scarlett first described to me. It took time but the way they all light up in her presence...

  Well, it's hard to continue hating them.

  Even the messy one who I might just rename the clueless one. Not that Scarlett has been any better about him. She really is at a loss when it comes to how to pursue relationships with these idiots. Somehow the angry one has actually taken the lead in that regard.

  How interesting.

  "I guess you aren't so bad," Kade says, drawing my eyes back to him. My brows raise in surprise at his words, even as Noah hits him.

  "What Kade is trying to say is, you really are one of us. Welcome to the family." A blush still covers his cheeks as he speaks, like he really didn't want to be the one to say it but couldn't trust Kade to actually say it like that.

  I shrug. "I've always been a part of Scarlett's family. Ever since I bought her tacos."

  Ryder starts cackling in the front, looking back at me. We all just watch him as he wipes tears from his eyes. "Sorry," he chuckles. "It's just this is why we call you a douche."

  I smirk at him. "I don't consider that an insult."

  They all grin back at me. It's the first time I've ever felt any sense of...I don't know exactly what I'm feeling is. Friendship? It feels almost deeper than that. Kinship maybe? Like we are connected by our love for a girl whose sharp edges threaten to destroy us all. Either way, as the four of them all smile at me, a teasing glint in all of their eyes, it's the first time I've ever felt this bond between us.