The Secrets We Share

by Emma Hannigan

  ‘He’s so cute,’ she said.

  Conor rooted about on the ground until he came up with a large, flat stone, which he proceeded to skim across the top of the water. It bounced three times. He clicked his fingers in annoyance.

  ‘I’ve been known to do a skim with six bounces.’

  ‘I see,’ Nathalie said in confusion.

  ‘Here,’ he said, finding another stone. ‘Your turn.’

  She threw it hoping it would bop across the surface like his had. Instead it dropped in with a plop.

  ‘Ah, better luck next time,’ he said. ‘Want to go for a walk? I need to let Herbie have a good run or else he’ll get bored and eat my mother’s shoes. He’s gone through so many pairs now we’ve lost count. He’s only a year old, but I fear his days are numbered unless he learns some house rules soon.’

  ‘Oh I’m sure nobody would want to get rid of him. He’s like a ball of cuteness,’ she said.

  ‘I know. I love him,’ Conor said openly. ‘Look at his furry legs, they’re like massive pipe cleaners, aren’t they?’ Nathalie laughed. ‘So how long are you staying in Lochlann?’

  ‘I’m not sure,’ she said. ‘I came to visit my grandmother. We’d never met before.’

  ‘Ah, is she afraid of flying like me?’

  ‘It’s complicated,’ she said.

  ‘I get it,’ he said. ‘I won’t ask.’ He walked on in the direction Herbie had just run, and Nathalie followed. His pale skin against his light shorts could have made him look sickly if he weren’t so well built. As he walked his calf muscles bulged and his arms swung confidently from his broad shoulders. She had to trot to keep up with his stride. ‘You’re lucky to have the beach to come to.’

  ‘Yeah, I love it. There’s a whole little world down here. The same people tend to come at the same times. But then there’s always new and pretty people like your good self.’ He stopped and stared at her so intently she felt as if she might melt. Smiling he moved on.

  Nathalie smiled back. ‘My grandmother is originally Austrian. She lives just up the street,’ she said. ‘I call her Oma.’

  ‘Ah, that’s probably Mrs Conway,’ he said.

  ‘Yes, how did you know?’

  ‘My mother used to be friends with her son when they were kids.’

  ‘That’s my dad!’

  ‘Small world,’ Conor said, nodding. Nathalie was utterly dumbfounded. How on earth could this guy, this random stranger, know Oma and her dad?

  ‘Don’t look so shocked,’ he said, suddenly realising that she was stunned. ‘That’s Ireland. Everyone knows everyone else. Especially diehard locals like me! I’ll have to tell my mum I met you. That’s too funny.’

  By the time they’d walked the length of the beach and back, Nathalie was feeling much more relaxed in Conor’s company. Most people that passed seemed to know him and said hello. He introduced her to everyone as ‘my new friend Nathalie, from LA’. They all seemed delighted with that and greeted her as if this was totally normal.

  ‘I’ve to fly. I have football training and I’m always late,’ he said with an easy shrug as he pulled his fingers through his hair. ‘If you’re back here tomorrow, I’ll see you. Same time, same place.’ He went to walk off. ‘Or the next day, or indeed the day after that!’

  ‘I get it!’ she smiled. ‘Lovely to meet you.’

  ‘Believe me, the pleasure is all mine. This beach gets more beautiful every day,’ he said with one eyebrow raised. Nathalie giggled and felt her cheeks flush. He blew her a kiss.

  ‘Quick! Jump up and catch it or it’ll land on some poor unsuspecting old man by the shore.’ She pretended to snatch it in her hand as he placed his clasped hands on his heart. She stood watching as he bounded off with an eager Herbie in his wake.

  Nathalie suddenly remembered that she’d brought the letter with her. Looking forward to finding out how the secret romance was developing, she found an empty bench and settled down to read.

  January 1937

  Dear Lukas

  I tried to go. I know it’s the best thing for both of us, but you have made it too difficult. I cannot hide my feelings for you and I am being driven by an entity I cannot overcome.

  I pulled away first when you kissed me today. It felt so right, but I know in my heart of hearts it’s very wrong.

  I planned to go this evening. When your gentle knocking sounded on my door I knew I could not do so.

  Why did you have to say those things to me, Lukas? Oh, it was music to my ears to hear that you have loved me from the first second you saw me. Yes, of course I felt it too. I can barely dare to believe that you see me as your destiny.

  What we did, when our bodies became one … it was meant to be.

  But I am so scared, Lukas. I do not want to be responsible for ruining your life. You say you will talk your parents round. That you will make them see that what we have is pure and true. You are so certain that they will come to love me the way you do. But I am afraid I do not share your optimism. I know you keep saying this is 1937, but the world still has a long way to go when it comes to poor Jewish girls marrying wealthy Catholic boys. Your papa is head of the Austrian cavalry; mine is an unknown corpse who left my mother to rot on the streets as I was saved by the authorities. I am no scholar, my darling, but I can see that our love will not be allowed to survive.

  I wish things could be as simple as you believe. I wish it were true what you say, that love is all we need. That what we have together is enough to overcome the adversities.

  For now, I am humbled and delighted to know that you love me and I love you. I will cherish each and every moment we share. I will need to store them in my heart so I remember you for ever.

  With all my heart,

  Hannah

  Nathalie placed the letter carefully back into her pocket and stared out at the ocean. Hannah and Lukas were from such different worlds. She hoped with all her heart that Lukas would decide to fight for his true love in spite of his family. She had a good feeling in her bones that their love would survive.

  Suddenly Nathalie realised that she was banking on this love story working out. It was almost as if she’d put her own heart on the line along with that of this girl Hannah. If things worked out well for Hannah, maybe they would work for her in the future too.

  There was music coming from Oma’s bedroom, so Nathalie put the letter back carefully and made her way upstairs.

  ‘I’m home,’ she said from the hallway.

  ‘Come in, dear.’

  She walked in and found Clara sitting up doing some sewing.

  ‘What are you making?’

  ‘Ah, it’s a tapestry. They tend to drive me bats. I do a bit and put it aside. They’re such tedious work, I rarely finish them inside a year. But it’s relaxing when accompanied by Chopin! How was the beach?’

  ‘Good. Great, in fact. I made a friend. He’s called Conor. Bright orange hair, skin pale as milk and a big fluffy dog.’

  ‘Yes, that’s Conor Murphy. His mother was an old flame of your father’s, you know. We all thought they’d get married, but it didn’t work out. They split up and she was settled with another man in no time.’

  ‘He mentioned they’d been friends. Odd that he knew all about his mother’s past.’

  ‘Not really,’ Clara said easily. ‘Lochlann is one of those places where secrets rarely stay hidden.’

  ‘Conor seems nice,’ Nathalie ventured.

  ‘That’s one way of putting it,’ Clara smiled. ‘He has such charm even while speaking to an old dear like me. I’ve always liked his friendly demeanour, but I still marvel at how handsome he’s become. He was a funny-looking little fellow as a child. But I think he’s grown into himself now.’

  ‘He’s what my father would refer to as an athletic build. He’s gorgeous.’

  ‘I agree,’ Clara said.

  Nathalie offered her a cup of tea; Clara declined, so she excused herself to get ready for her date with Ava.

  When she reappeared
to say goodbye, Clara did a double-take. With expertly applied make-up, a tight bandeau-style dress and sky-high heels, she looked sophisticated and oozed sex appeal.

  ‘Be still my beating heart!’ Clara said. ‘You look sensational. I wish I still had a body like that. I did once upon a time, but alas, it was well before Hervé Leger invented that style.’

  ‘You like it?’ Nathalie looked pleased and surprised. ‘I was expecting disapproval. Dad always has something negative to say when I wear it.’

  ‘He’s just worried that all the hormone-driven men will lust after you and the equally driven ladies will hate you.’

  Nathalie laughed, then walked over to Clara and hugged her.

  ‘Thank you for being you.’

  The sound of a car horn beeping outside flustered her, and she raced to grab a jacket and her bag.

  ‘Take a key. Ava has one and can let you in later, but it’s better to have one of your own as well. Enjoy, and I hope you girls have a nice chat.’

  ‘Thank you,’ Nathalie said sincerely.

  As she rushed out the door, Clara put her hand on her chest. Nathalie’s words just now had floored her. Thank you for being you.

  ‘Well I’ll be damned,’ she said out loud. ‘Did you hear that, Gus? Mama? Papa?’ She looked up at the ceiling and shook her head in awe. ‘I think we’re getting somewhere. Hallelujah!’

  Chapter 13

  Nathalie climbed into Ava’s shining cherry-red sports car.

  ‘This is totally cool,’ she said, gazing into the tiny back seat.

  ‘Well I’ve no husband and no kids, so I figured I only needed two seats,’ Ava said as she took off. ‘And I decided they may as well be two fabulous seats.’

  ‘Jeez, do you drive at Formula One level in your spare time?’ Nathalie asked as she gripped the sides of the seat for dear life.

  ‘No, I guess it’s down to being on my own. I don’t have anyone else to consider so I put my foot to the floor a lot.’

  ‘Yeah, nobody bar yourself and the other unsuspecting motorists who share the roads. I hate to sound like a grump, but could you slow down a bit? I’m not so great as a passenger in cars. I was in an accident recently.’

  ‘Oh, of course,’ Ava said, slowing down hugely. ‘My apologies.’

  ‘Hey, it’s cool,’ Nathalie said, flicking her hair.

  Ava smiled. Before long, they pulled into an underground car park.

  ‘I thought I’d take you for a bite to eat at my local Italian. I live in this block of apartments and it’s the closest parking space I’ll get.’

  ‘Cool,’ said Nathalie. She was growing increasingly curious about Ava and her life. ‘I had herb omelette earlier, but I walked the prom and I’m hungry again! I’ll be huge when I return to LA.’

  ‘Looking at your figure in that dress, I think you’d have to eat several chocolate cakes an hour to look large.’

  ‘Knowing Oma, that’s not out of the realms of possibility,’ Nathalie laughed.

  ‘What else have you done today?’

  ‘We went to the waterfall,’ she said with a smile. ‘It was gorgeous.’

  ‘Umph,’ said Ava, dismissing it. ‘I’m surprised you weren’t bored stupid sitting up there.’

  ‘Oh no! It was genuinely awesome. I’ve never seen a place like it. I swam too.’

  ‘No way! I’m impressed.’

  ‘Well if I’m honest, it wasn’t by choice. Your mom pretended to drown, so I jumped in to save her.’

  Ava laughed. ‘That’s one of her favourite tricks.’

  ‘You mean she’s done it before?’

  ‘All the time! But even though Max and I got to know it was a trick, we never wanted to take the chance just in case she actually was drowning!’

  ‘That’s crazy! She’s crazy!’

  Ava didn’t speak, so Nathalie thought she’d better fill the silence. She still felt a little awkward with her aunt.

  ‘I picked some flowers too. Oma promised to show me how to press them and make them into a card.’

  Ava’s head jerked sideways. ‘I’d forgotten how we used to do that,’ she said sadly. ‘Your father liked it too,’ she added. ‘Although he began using bees and flies instead of flowers. He thought it was hilarious to send cards with squashed bugs plastered on the front of them.’

  ‘Really? He did that? Wow, that doesn’t sound like my always-sensible father,’ Nathalie said.

  ‘Yeah, he was a real messer back in the day. He called his cards fly cemeteries!’

  Nathalie giggled. ‘It’s so fabulous to hear things about Dad when he was a child. He never talks about it. The only time he even sounds Irish is when Uncle Sean calls over.’

  ‘Who is Uncle Sean?’ Ava asked, narrowing her eyes. ‘Your mother’s brother?’

  ‘Oh gosh no,’ Nathalie said. ‘He’s not really a blood relation, but he likes me to call him that. He’s from Ireland too. Dad and he were friends from way back when. In fact you guys probably know him. His surname is O’Brien.’

  Ava inhaled sharply. ‘Yes, I knew him,’ she said in a strangled voice. ‘He and your dad were friends from the time they were little. Sean is six years older than Max, but that never seemed to matter.’

  ‘It never struck me that he’s older, I must say,’ Nathalie mused.

  ‘That’s because he has the brain of a toddler,’ Ava said, flicking her hair rather violently.

  ‘I take it you can’t stand him, then.’

  ‘After your father left Ireland, Sean followed him a few years later,’ Ava said. ‘Further proof of what a fool he was. Not that he needed help in that department.’

  ‘I apologise if I’ve said the wrong thing,’ Nathalie ventured uncomfortably. ‘Why didn’t you get along with Uncle Sean?’

  ‘Oh I got along just fine with Uncle Sean,’ Ava spat. ‘Until he destroyed our relationship, that is. He left me with no option but to break off our engagement. He turned out to be a weak and selfish creature who I was better off without.’

  ‘Oh Aunt Ava, I’m so sorry.’ Nathalie’s hand flew to her mouth. ‘I had no idea.’

  ‘Of course you didn’t,’ Ava said, sighing deeply. ‘Listen, Nathalie, you don’t know the ins and outs of what went on, but take it from me, Sean is an idiot.’

  ‘So things were pretty ugly between you two?’

  ‘Ugly is one way of putting it. I call it shagging some tart, getting caught and running with his sorry tail between his legs to his bosom buddy and fellow muck-up, Max.’

  Nathalie looked as if she were about to burst into tears. Ava dropped her gaze and stopped ranting.

  ‘Sorry, Nathalie. None of that is anything to do with you. I shouldn’t have bitten your head off.’

  ‘Hey, I’m cool!’ Nathalie said, forcing a smile. She was trembling inside. Ava made her seriously nervous. She seemed so bitter and resentful.

  ‘Besides,’ Ava said, regaining her composure, ‘it’s all water under the bridge. It was aeons ago. I’m sure Sean O’Brien doesn’t even remember me.’

  ‘I’m sure he does,’ Nathalie said. ‘Maybe you could get back in contact again? I have his cell number if you want to—’

  ‘No! Thank you. Let’s leave sleeping dogs lie.’

  ‘So,’ Nathalie said, looking to change the subject rapidly, ‘Oma mentioned you have a clothing store. I’d love to come visit some day, if you didn’t mind.’

  ‘Do you sew?’ Ava asked.

  ‘Sort of,’ Nathalie said. ‘But my home economics teacher wasn’t my biggest fan. I made a miniskirt but she said it was obscenely short and inappropriate. My boyfriend DJ liked it, but he was probably the only one who did.’

  ‘I’m sure he did,’ Ava said as a smile crept across her lips.

  They made their way out on to the street and walked towards the restaurant.

  ‘My sewing is most certainly better than my cooking, if that helps,’ Nathalie said. ‘The last thing I baked was apple pie in school. I made it explode!’

  ‘On
purpose?’ Ava asked.

  ‘Uh-huh,’ Nathalie said with a wicked grin. ‘It was awesome. I got into so much trouble, though. Dad was called out of surgery and Mom had to attend the principal’s office too. Ugh, I’m glad to be out of school. Those people have like zero sense of humour.’

  ‘I like your style,’ Ava said, nodding in obvious approval. ‘Come to the boutique any time,’ she said. ‘I’ve a design workshop upstairs. Mama teaches there sometimes too; she does her quilting thing. It’s becoming really trendy around here. But if that’s too cruddy for you, maybe you’d enjoy my evening wear workshop? It’s not just about sewing from scratch; it’s about adjusting or adding to pieces you already own.’

  ‘I would really like that,’ Nathalie said. ‘Oma is going to do some quilting with me, but I’d love to learn how to make awesome evening bling also. I do my own version back home, but I’m open to learning it properly.’

  As they sat at a table and chatted, Nathalie noticed Ava’s face and shoulders beginning to relax. She was incredibly pretty when she wasn’t scowling. She had amazing style too, Nathalie noticed. If she wasn’t mistaken, those were Jimmy Choo shoes she was wearing. She’d paired them with skin-tight dark denim, a beautifully light and wispy white blouse and a cropped leather jacket.

  ‘Wine?’ Ava offered.

  ‘Er … I’m not really allowed to drink. I’m only seventeen.’

  ‘The legal age here is eighteen. You look at least that. One glass of wine won’t kill you.’

  ‘In that case, I’d love one. Don’t tell my folks, though.’

  ‘I take it you have actually had a drink before?’

  Nathalie nodded. ‘Some of my friends are like totally anal about not drinking until we’re twenty-one. But perhaps it’s my European blood, I’ve been tippling for years. That was the final straw for Mom, actually …’ She blushed and hesitated.

  ‘Why, what did you do? Guzzle a bottle of wine on your cornflakes and insult the neighbour’s dog?’

  ‘Not quite,’ Nathalie said, giggling. ‘I got a homeless guy to buy me some vodka. Before you think I’m terrible, I bought him some too.’ Ava nodded. ‘I took mine to a park bench, drank a whole pile and kind of walked home in a bit of a mess. Mom didn’t see the fun side, had a total and utter meltdown, like epic style, and promptly sent me here.’