The Secrets We Share

by Emma Hannigan

  And as for Nathalie … Well, using her own word, she is simply awesome.

  I suppose it was a feat in itself that I arrived on this earth at all. Ju-Ju and Hannah’s love should never have grown. From the very moment I was conceived, all the rules were broken. So that is how I know I was sent for a reason.

  For the longest time I believed I had broken Alina and Frank’s hearts. But age and new knowledge have afforded me hindsight. I was a child and my departure from their lives needed to happen. I belonged with my birth parents. They paid dearly for the right to bring me to Ireland.

  Finally knowing that Alina and Frank didn’t hate me or blame me for Jacob’s demise has lifted a shadow from my soul. They showered me with love during the years we shared, but the greatest gift they ever bestowed upon me was the ability to forgive.

  I have a close connection with my angels and they have whispered to me that Nathalie is a heart and soul mender. That is her purpose on earth.

  Amber mentioned at one point that she and Max longed for more children. I didn’t want to sound facetious so I simply nodded in apparent understanding. But inside I know the reason why they only ever had Nathalie. It’s because she was all they required. She has enough energy, light and love to fill their hearts.

  I’m certain she has many minders in the spirit world. People who watch over her and guide her. When my time comes, I will join that parade.

  I’m getting tired now, Gus. As autumn draws in and the pinks, mauves and yellows of my garden begin to shrivel, I know how they feel. I am at one with nature at last. The niggling voices have stopped. I no longer feel as if I have one last job to do.

  My housekeeping is done, Gus.

  Perhaps my subconscious ear has heard a little whisper as my angels from above begin to beckon me to them. I have a palpable sense that Mother Nature has begun the countdown to my eternal rest.

  When I saw them six months ago, the doctors urged me to have chemotherapy. They said there was an outside chance that the medicine could prolong my life.

  But I’m not willing to put myself or my family through the gruelling journey the medics have described. If I were young, with my life ahead of me, I’d be the first to don my armour and fight the good fight. But I’m certain there is a time for each of us to die. My time is nigh.

  I’m not sad and I’m not afraid. Why would I be? I know that Ju-Ju and Mama, Alina, Frank, Jacob, Angelina and you, my darling Gus, are waiting.

  We’ll have coffee and chocolate cake and sit at close quarters, watching over the people we love. It will be like viewing a wonderful movie with the ability to blow a little magic into their days from time to time. I’ll never leave my family. I’ll mind them and guard them and if there’s any way of nudging them in the right direction, I’ll happily do that too.

  I’m now a pill popper. I take so many tablets I’m surprised I don’t rattle when I walk! Apparently there’s a multitude of tumours on my liver. The oncologist told me he’s astonished at how well I’ve endured the pain so far.

  I tried to explain that physical pain is nothing compared to the pain imparted by the anguish of longing for people who make your heart sing. Joy can override physical pain too. I know because that’s what Nathalie, Max and Amber have done for me. Holding a person you love in your arms after years of yearning is an indescribable balm.

  I know Nathalie will tell my story to others. In fact she told me a little secret only the other day. She wants to write a book. She begged me to give her permission to write my story. I think it’s a wonderful idea. Not because I want to become immortal or anything like that. But because I believe that the story of the little Jewish housemaid and the handsome son of an Austrian cavalry officer finding love in the most unthinkable circumstances will stand the test of time. Love knows no boundaries, Gus. No matter what obstacles stand in the way, hearts that are destined to be together will always unite in the end.

  My head feels heavy now. I need to rest. I’m ready to curl up with my quilt and trace my gnarled fingers across the pretty little edelweiss flowers depicted there. I can see so many wonderful memories rushing past my vision. I can smell the polish of the Leibnitz home … breathe the air of the Brixental mountains … hear Jacob’s childish laughter … taste our first kiss, Gus … I can hear the sound of our firstborn child’s cries … see the smiles of my family united in my garden …

  A force is drawing me near to you, my Liebling. The old images are fading. New ones are becoming clear. I feel your arms are open wide. So many smiles are welcoming me in. It’s time for a new beginning. It’s time for new gifts. I am ready to receive them.

  I know I was right to finally reveal the secrets we once shared.

  It’s time for us to be reunited.

  I love you.

  Clara x

  Acknowledgments

  This book was inspired by my Austrian grandmother’s story. Her name was Melanie Fuchs but to me she was Oma, the German for grandmother.

  On the day of my twenty-first birthday, Oma asked me to visit her. Upon arrival she told me my gift was not one I could unwrap. It was something far more precious – her story. She told me things she had never told anyone else before.

  While The Secrets We Share doesn’t exactly mirror my Oma’s story, what she told me that day sparked an idea in my head and many years later inspired this novel. For people who knew and loved Melanie Fuchs, this is not her actual story but my fictional interpretation of the events she outlined to me all those years ago. I want to be clear when I say that I have used poetic licence and changed many of the personality traits and events of my Oma’s real life while writing this book.

  For the record and, without wanting to spoil the plot, the storyline involving Jacob in the later years is completely fictional. So too is Clara’s marriage as it appears in this book. What I can assure you is that the basic love story between a powerful man and a Jewish girl was true. The notion of forbidden love surviving in a war-torn place where Hitler and the Nazis promoted relentless hatred has always fascinated me. I am a sucker for an old-fashioned romance and a story where love conquers all.

  In a modern world where technology seems to develop at a faster pace with every passing year, sometimes it’s comforting to know that matters of the heart always have and always will prevail. Thankfully my Oma never went to a concentration camp. But I came to know an incredible, courageous and wonderful man by the name of Tomi Reichental while writing this story. Tomi is a long-standing friend and business associate of my father’s. He is also one of the remaining survivors of Bergen-Belsen concentration camp. For over fifty-five years Tomi held his silence. Nobody had any idea that he had been incarcerated during World War Two. Now, he shares his story openly and frankly so that nobody ever forgets what happened during the Holocaust. Tomi has given me his blessing to incorporate part of his journey in this book, in my own words. I cannot thank him enough for the courage, hope and inspiration he has bestowed upon me during our chats together. Tomi, you are a remarkable, serene and astonishingly brave man.

  I hope I have captured some of the emotion I absorbed from both Oma and Tomi and that my novel meets with their approval. Long before I ever even dreamed I would become an author I asked Oma’s permission to write my own version of her story. She threw her head back and laughed, wondering who on earth would have any interest in her journey. When I pushed her for permission she jokingly agreed I could write it after she was gone. She left this world on New Year’s Day in 2009. I believe the time is now right to share my version of Oma’s gift.

  If you are familiar with my writing you will know that I carry a cancer gene. The gene I carry is called BrCa 1 and the specific mutation I have is called the Ashkenazi Jewish Gene. As I wrote this book, I felt the emotion as if it were emanating from a long-forgotten chamber of my soul. Each and every word of this book came from my heart.

  As always I have so many incredible people to thank for helping me along the way. My agent and confidante Sheila Crowley and her a
ble assistant Becky Ritchie of Curtis Brown UK run my affairs like clockwork. Thank you both for always being there. I am applauding and blowing kisses to my remarkable and gorgeous editor Sherise Hobbs. She began editing this book while still on maternity leave before seamlessly slipping back into work and carrying on like a true Mama swan. I cannot imagine how you’ve juggled a toddler, new baba and the workload you fly through. Thank you for your kindness, enthusiasm and gentle encouragement. Thanks also to Mari Evans who is always in the shadows keeping an eye on me. I appreciate that so much. To Fran Gough and all the wonderful team at Headline UK, thank you kindly too.

  It’s my first time working with Jane Selley and all I can say is that you have made the copyedit seamless! Thank you so much for all your hard work.

  To all the Hachette Ireland gang – Breda, Jim, Joanna, Bernard, Siobhan and my book-signing buddy Ruth – thank you for helping me fly the home flag. Thank you to Susie Cronin for all your hard work and help with publicity. Congratulations to Ciara Doorley on the birth of her darling daughter Elsie.

  My husband Cian along with my children Sacha and Kim are my world. Thank you all for making our house a noisy and often crazy home. To my furry pets Tom the cat and Herbie the dog – meow and woof. You two are always happy to see me and treat me like a long lost lover.

  Thanks to Mum and Dad who continue to support me and keep me sane. I couldn’t do what I do without you both.

  Congratulations to my darling cousin Robyn on her marriage to Joe Copage. Joe, we’re delighted you’re now officially Uncle Joe even though we’ve all called you that since the first day we met you! Thanks to my in-laws and extended family especially my wide circle of cousins for being fabulous.

  To my friends, you all know who you are, thank you for listening, laughing and looking out for me. I am the luckiest girl to have so many special people in my life.

  Thanks to Mark Bourke at Slap Bang Wallop for doing my website.

  Thanks to Amy Stephenson for bidding and paying money towards cancer research to have her name used as a character in this novel.

  For those who follow my story, I am happily through cancer treatment for the ninth time. I am still having three-weekly chemotherapy sessions but it’s all good. The message is clear – cancer is becoming more treatable all the time. If you have just been diagnosed, please have hope.

  Lastly, please allow me to roll out the red carpet, open a case of champagne and herd in the stilt walkers and fire-eaters in celebration of my dear and loyal readers. Your continued letters, messages and emails make me smile like a goon. I sincerely hope you enjoy The Secrets We Share. If you would like to get in touch you’ll find me on Twitter @MsEmmaHannigan, Facebook at www.facebook.com/AuthorEmmaHannigan or via my website www.emmahannigan.com. For now, I hope that you are being showered in positivity and that your world is filled with sparkles and smiles. Thank you for reading my books. You are all fantastic!

  Love and light

  Emma x

  What makes a house a home? Return to Huntersbrook in Emma Hannigan’s warm novel of family and friendship …

  Holly Craig’s family have lived happily in Huntersbrook for generations but when times grow hard, even she must admit defeat and sell off their once-successful stables.

  The three Craig children, Lainey, Joey and Pippa find themselves locked in a fight to keep their beloved Huntersbrook; dare they transform it into one of Ireland’s most sought after countryside venues?

  Renovation work is well underway when life rears its ugly head and everything stops in its tracks. The Craig family is forced to reassess what matters and although they no longer live at Huntersbrook, can the house work its magic even so … and lead them into the light once more?

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  A little magic is about to come to sleepy Caracove Bay …

  Lexie and her husband Sam have spent years lovingly restoring No. 3 Cashel Square to its former glory. So imagine Lexie’s delight when a stranger knocks on the door, asking to see the house she was born in over sixty years ago.

  Kathleen is visiting from America, longing to see her childhood home … and longing for distraction from the grief of losing her husband.

  And as Lexie and Sam battle over whether or not to have a baby and Kathleen struggles with her loss, the two women realise their unexpected friendship will touch them in ways neither could have imagined.

  In Caracove, there’s more than a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

  The perfect magical, festive read from Emma Hannigan …

  Christmas at Huntersbrook House has always been a family tradition – log fires, long walks through the snowy fields and evenings spent in the local pub. And this year the three grown-up Craig children are looking forward to the holidays more than ever. Pippa to escape her partying lifestyle and mounting debts in Dublin; Joey the demands of his gorgeous girlfriend who seems intent on coming between him and his family; and Lainey to forget about her controlling ex and his recent engagement to another woman.

  But with the family livery yard in financial trouble, this Christmas could be the Craig family’s last at Huntersbrook as they face the prospect of selling the ancestral house.

  As the holiday season gets underway, the family need to come up with a way to save their home, and face the problems they’ve been running away from in Dublin. And what better place to figure things out than around the fire at Huntersbrook House?

  A heartwarming novel of love, friendship and coming home from this bestselling author …

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  Francine Hennessy was born and raised in Bakers Valley. To all appearances, she is the model wife, mother, home-maker and career woman. But, behind closed doors, Francine’s life is crumbling around her.

  As Jodi struggles to conceal her secrets and Francine faces some shocking news, the two become unlikely confidants. Suddenly having the perfect life seems less important than finding friendship, and the perfect place to belong …

  A delightful, irresistibly romantic e-short featuring much-loved characters from Emma Hannigan’s novels, Driving Home for Christmas and The Heart of Winter.

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  But when an ex puts in an unexpected appearance in Rome, Tess is instantly taken back to glorious Huntersbrook House and the warmth and joy of the Craig family. Memories she thought she had long-buried and left behind in Ireland suddenly resurface at the worst possible moment.

  Forced to face both her past and future on the evening of the rehearsal dinner, Tess is thrown into turmoil. Which man – and moment – will win out?