Xavier O’Brien

by Ingro, Jessica

  Tears pricked my eyes. I never wanted Xavier to retreat to the closed off man he was before me. By the sounds of it, though, it seemed so much worse than that.

  “I can’t go back,” I told Candy.

  She nodded her head in understanding. “I get that, but I thought you should know the whole story. I’m truly very sorry for the role I played in this whole thing.”

  I gave her a small smile and reached out to envelop her in a hug. “Hindsight is always twenty-twenty.” Lord knew I had learned that the hard way, time and again.

  When we broke apart, I wiped the tears that lingered on her cheeks before dropping my arms. I turned back to the ocean, my mind reeling with this new information. I needed time to process it all, but now wasn’t it.

  “Want to order some takeout for dinner?” I asked my friend, knowing she was probably starving after traveling all this way.

  “I’d love it.”

  I got up and headed into the house with Candy on my heels and put all thoughts of Xavier out of my head for the time being. I’d have plenty of time later after Candy left to worry about whether or not I could live with myself if Xavier gave up and lost himself to the dark side.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Marx

  “You look like hell.” Marx’s voice held a thread of incredulity in it. He couldn’t believe Xavier was in such a state.

  Then again, Aurora had brought him to his knees a time or two. He supposed he could believe what it would feel like to completely be cut out of her life.

  “Fuck off,” the sorry heap in the chair retorted.

  Marx almost felt sorry for him. But considering the mess he found Aurora in at the motel off the highway right after she left him, there was no way he was going to make things easy on the man.

  As it was, the only reason he was there was because she asked him to check on Xavier. In a moment of weakness, he allowed Candy to tell her the truth about what had happened since she left.

  Afterward, Aurora decided to turn on her cell phone. It was flooded with texts and voicemails from the man. After listening to a few, she broke down in a fit of tears. Calling Marx, she begged him to make sure Xavier hadn’t done anything dumb.

  If you asked Marx, most of Xavier’s decisions were dumb. From day one with Aurora, he had been an idiot of epic proportions. Why the fuck he hadn’t appreciated the amazing woman he had was beyond Marx.

  You didn’t handle a woman like Aurora.

  You didn’t lie to her.

  You didn’t dictate her life for her.

  You didn’t make her feel used and abused.

  You didn’t make her question why she fell in love with you to begin with.

  You did everything in your power to make her happy.

  And you thanked your lucky stars she shined her light on you.

  “Any word on Aurora’s whereabouts?” Marx asked as he settled in the chair across from Xavier. His hands adjusting his impeccable three-piece suit as he did so.

  “No,” Xavier grumbled under his breath before sucking back some high-end scotch. At least he still had the wits about him to drink the good stuff.

  “Shame,” he murmured. It would be too easy to kick a man when he was down, so he decided to take the high road. “Do you really think sulking and drinking is the way to deal properly with this?”

  Xavier ignored him, choosing another slug of booze instead. Marx sighed and forged on.

  “Xavier, Aurora wouldn’t want you doing this to yourself. She’s very worried.”

  Xavier sat up at Marx’s poor choice of words. On the edge of his chair, with the bottle dangling from his fingers, the man was like a dog with a bone. It was the first real sign of life from the man in weeks.

  “You’ve seen her? Where the fuck is she?”

  Marx shook his head and forced himself to stay relaxed in his chair. He didn’t come here to give up her location. He wasn’t even planning on letting on that he knew where she was. As it was, he was surprised Xavier even let him in after their fight.

  “You just said she’s worried, fucker. Don’t fucking lie to me right now unless you want a bullet in your brain.”

  There was a time Marx would have thought twice about lying to the man, knowing Xavier wouldn’t think twice about doing just that. At this point in his life, Marx was hardened to those types of threats. For one, Xavier wanted to know where Aurora was and it was more his modus operandi to torture him for the information before he killed him. And for two, Marx knew life ended if and when it was supposed to. There was nothing he could do to stop it.

  “Xavier,” he said as if he were speaking to a child. “I haven’t seen her. It was a slip of the tongue. She would be worried about you. You’re a fucking mess. You look like you’ve been drinking for weeks straight without showering or shaving. If she walked through that door right now, do you really think she’d take your sorry ass back?”

  “Fuck you,” Xavier bit out. His body slumped back in the chair, but even through the haze of alcohol his eyes were sharper. He was a snake waiting to strike and Marx knew for Aurora’s sake, he needed to be more careful about the words he chose. Even if she decided to go back to the pathetic man, it should be if and when she was ready, not because Xavier had found her.

  “Consider what I said, Xavier.” He stood and decided it was time to leave. Just being in Xavier’s presence was enough to bring him down. “Aurora wouldn’t want you to do this to yourself. She’d blame herself if anything happened to you.”

  Xavier ignored him and said not a word as Marx crossed the room and opened the door. He paused at the doorway and contemplated telling the pitiful man the truth. Images of Aurora the last time he saw her flashed in his mind. He gripped the doorframe as one by one they assaulted his memory.

  “I’m not special,” she argued. Tears slowly leaking down her face as she struggled with whatever it was in that pretty head of hers. “Marx, I’m nothing but a whore. A whore that Xavier used and controlled—just like a pimp should.”

  He grabbed her by her shoulders, harder than he intended, but he needed to get his point across. Why couldn’t she see how unbelievably amazing she was? That Xavier’s shortcomings said nothing of her and everything of him?

  What he wouldn’t give to have her look at him the way she did Xavier. How many times had he sat back and watched as she looked at Xavier like he was the only man she could see? The only man in the world for her? Like he was a God among men?

  It’s a thin line between love and hate. Right then he hated her for not seeing him like that. For not loving him the way he loved her.

  His grip tightened on her and he shook her a little. With his nose practically touching hers, he growled, “You were never the whore in this story. And if you think you were, then you’re sorely fucking mistaken.”

  When she opened her mouth to protest, he silenced her with his own. Her lips were soft and inviting and her breath hitched, allowing him to swoop in and claim her. Tangling his tongue with hers, he pulled her flush with his body. His cock was hard and eager between them.

  He was so damn hungry for her; he wouldn’t have been able to stop if he wanted to. Thankfully, Aurora was right there with him.

  Once she got over her initial shock, her hands roamed over his shoulders and down his back. He shuddered at the feel of them. He only wished they were skin to skin.

  The way she leaned into him as he explored her mouth was nothing short of amazing. Their tongues tangled in a sensual dance that had him wanting more from her. Wanting everything.

  His hand cupped her breast, making her moan and rub against him. His cock strained against the zipper of his pants with each pass of her soft body against his.

  It was official. She was going to kill him, but it was going to be the sweetest death.

  Pushing her robe to the floor, he then gripped the hem of her flimsy nightgown and lifted it over her head. Her chest heaved as he took her in, and he wasted no time in sucking a pert nipple into his mouth. His tongue sw
irled around the tight bud as he relished the taste of her skin. It was even better than he remembered. And he thought he remembered it well.

  Aurora’s fingers gripped his head and held him in place as he tasted each breast in turn. He chanced a glance up and saw her head thrown back in pleasure. Something inside him snapped at seeing her like that for him.

  He had to have her.

  Now.

  One hand delving in the front of her panties, the other wrapped around the nape of her neck, forcing her to look at him. When their eyes locked, he froze with two fingers inside her.

  Tears swam in her eyes as she bit her trembling lip. This was not what he expected. He expected heat. He expected need.

  “What is it?” He rasped out around the lump in his throat.

  “I can’t do this.”

  Fuck, he thought. This couldn’t be happening. He was so close to making her his, he could taste it.

  “Aurora,” he whispered. That one word held so much emotion. He meant to hide it from her, not wanting to be so vulnerable, but he was no more in control of his emotions than she was.

  Drawing her close once more, she yielded to him. Sinking into his embrace, she let him pepper kisses along her cheek, her eyelids and then her lips.

  “Let me love you,” he pleaded with her. Continuing his onslaught, he deepened his kiss. She returned it and once again he lost himself in her.

  Slowly shuffling them toward the bed, he lowered their bodies down onto the mattress. Bracing himself on his arms, she cradled him between her legs. It was heaven and it was hell, having to go slower than his body was demanding.

  Removing his shirt, he relished the feel of her breasts against his chest. Each erotic glide, making him want to bury himself inside her. When her hips rocked up into his, he knew he couldn’t hold back. Not if he wanted to come inside her and not his pants.

  Pulling back enough to free his straining cock, he came back down over her. Kissing her, he pulled her panties off before lining himself up and easing inside her tight sheath.

  His breath caught as the first inch of him was enveloped inside her warmth and his eyes sought hers.

  “Look at me,” he demanded lowly, pulling out slowly and getting ready to enter her again. She was so tight that he didn’t want to hurt her.

  The moment her eyes opened and locked with his, the spell was broken.

  “No, no. I can’t. This isn’t right,” Aurora said almost hysterically as she pushed and clawed at him. He sat up quickly and put space between them, knowing she needed it.

  His heart sank as the seconds ticked on. She looked so small and sad, huddled in a ball against the headboard. He wanted to go to her and console her. It took every ounce of willpower inside him to fight his instincts when it came to her.

  “I’m sorry,” she finally said into the silent air of the room.

  “I should have known,” was the only response he could come up with. Really, it was all that needed to be said at that moment.

  “I’m sorry,” she repeated several minutes later, interrupting his melancholy thoughts as he finished dressing. He paused in his movements to get her nightgown from the floor.

  “Don’t be. This was my fault. It’s too soon.” He handed her the nightgown before running his hands through his hair in frustration. How he could have been so stupid, he didn’t know. He should have waited longer before showing her what she meant to him.

  “But I got you all worked up.” Her tone was hesitant and shy, so much like the girl who had first walked into his world, not the woman she had become.

  “Don’t worry about me.” He closed the distance between them and took her in his arms. Pressing a kiss to her hair, he finally let her go. He needed space to figure out his next move.

  He was almost to the door when her words stopped him in place.

  “It’s him, Marx. It’s always going to be him. I’m sorry if I led you on.” She spoke low, yet there was a steel of strength in her tone. This was the Aurora he knew.

  He turned back to face her. Her rejection stung, but he schooled his face to hide the anguish it brought him.

  “A leopard doesn’t change its spots. I thought you couldn’t live with what he’s done.” Aurora could get past a lot of Xavier’s shortcomings, but killing her husband was the one thing she would not overlook. She had said it over and over since taking refuge with him.

  “I can’t,” she said sadly.

  “I love you, Aurora.” He silenced her with a finger on her lips when she tried to speak. “I love you. And I don’t want to see you hurting yourself. You either find a way to forgive him or find a way to move on. Either way, you need to figure it out. Life is too short to wake up every day with regrets. Trust me. I know.”

  Shaking the memory off, Marx knew what he needed to do and it killed him a little more inside to do it. Decision made, he spoke without facing the man who had everything Marx wanted for himself.

  “It would seem to me that Aurora would want to be by the water. Where everyone in town looks out for one another. Where Sophie could have homemade ice cream in the shop along the main street whenever she liked. Where she might find the peace she’s always wanted.”

  He knew his words were more riddle than anything, but something told him Xavier wouldn’t stop until he figured it out.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Xavier

  Xavier cursed as he looked at the calendar on the wall. A picture of him giving Sophie a piggy-back-ride stared him in the face. Taunting him and reminding him of all every single mistake he made.

  Forty-two days.

  That was how long it had been since his world went dark. His life was empty. His house wasn’t a home. Without Aurora and her sweet little girl, he was slowly going crazy inside. It was to the point where he couldn’t even stand to go home at night. The only time he went to his house was when he needed to breathe in her scent. He was ashamed to admit that he spent hours in her walk-in closet just trying to be close to what remained of her essence.

  Not knowing how to bring her back, all he could do was sit in the dark and hope one day she’d come be his light again. That she’d bring back her goodness and make him whole.

  He was a right bastard for playing God over her life. Dictating every single thing he could over her. He never should have given her husband the needle that ended his life.

  Xavier could bring himself to admit he was wrong for being the catalyst to Kevin Swanson’s demise. But he would never admit it was wrong to show the man everything he left behind. To rub it in his face that his wife and child were happy now. How loved and taken care of they were.

  It didn’t matter now.

  The damage was done.

  Kevin was dead.

  Aurora and Sophie were missing.

  Where the fuck is she? he thought and instantly his mood darkened, knowing she had evaded him for so long. Even Marx’s damn cryptic clue as to her whereabouts hadn’t gotten him anywhere. He would kill the man if it weren’t for the fact that he was the only one who knew where she was.

  It was on that thought that his office door burst open and Ghost came into the room with a determined expression on his face.

  “We found her.”

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  The neighborhood was quiet when Xavier O’Brien pulled up to the curb across the street from the blue two-story house with a white picket fence in front of it. He supposed it was a nice house—quaint even—in a pleasant area. It didn’t matter though because after today, there was no way Aurora and Sophie would continue living there.

  What Marx was doing tied to a house in this town was beyond him. Especially since a woman’s name was primary on the deed.

  He shook his head and opened the car door. It wasn’t any of his business and he didn’t give a shit.

  “X!” Sophie shouted as he folded out of the Lexus and headed up the walkway to the front of the house. Abandoning her dolls on the front stoop, she hauled ass toward him and jumped into his open a
rms.

  Holding her tightly, he breathed in her strawberry scent and swung her back and forth. She giggled, which went a long way to releasing the knot of tension that had been building inside him since the day he found her and Aurora gone.

  “Hey, bug,” he greeted her. With one last squeeze, he reluctantly set her down and took her little hand in his larger one.

  “I knew you’d come!” she exclaimed. “I told Mommy that you’d come get us. Just like the knight you told me about!”

  “Oh yeah? And what did Mommy say?” Curiosity overrode his determination to find Aurora. Maybe Sophie would unwittingly give him a clue as to what he was about to walk into.

  “She laughed.” Sophie screwed her face up in thought before continuing, “Then she cried. Mommy cries a lot.”

  “She does?”

  “Mmm hmm.”

  “Where is mommy?” He asked, more determined than ever to make things right with Aurora. He hated hearing that she cried. From this point forward, it was going to be his mission to make her smile.

  “She’s in there.” Sophie pointed toward the house.

  Xavier dropped her hand and bent down in front of her. “Can you do me a favor, bug?”

  She nodded her head enthusiastically, making him chuckle.

  “Can you play with your dolls outside while I go in and talk to Mommy?”

  “Mmm hmm.”

  He flicked her on her nose and smiled. “I love you, Sophie.”

  “I love you, too.” Her tiny arms grabbed him around his neck and squeezed hard.

  So much emotion rose up in him as he held her tight. Everything in his world felt right when he was with them. It was a miracle he had survived without them.

  “Come on,” he told the little girl, releasing his hold on her and following her up to the front door. Leaving Sophie there with her dolls, he took a deep breath and steeled himself for the fight he knew he had on his hands. Aurora was strong-willed and headstrong. She wasn’t going to forgive him easily.