The Best Friend Problem

by Mariah Ankenman

  As Mo hopped up to grab the requested paper, Lilly handed her a pen from the coffee table with a knowing smile. “I think we’re going to need some cheesecake.”

  The only thing Pru needed was Finn, but a plan and a little more cheesecake couldn’t hurt.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Finn finished his fifth set of pushups, collapsing and rolling over to his back. Maybe he’d overdone it on the workout, but he needed to blow off all this dark energy clouding him. He’d returned to the firehouse after leaving Pru at urgent care in the capable hands of her roommates. Then he’d cut short his days off and picked up an extra shift for one of the crew who came down with the flu, because what the hell else was he supposed to do? Go home and sit there, worrying he’d made a giant-ass mistake by pushing the woman he loved into something she wasn’t ready for?

  Unless she doesn’t love me.

  The terrifying thought sank into his psyche, making his bleak mood even darker. It was entirely possible that Pru didn’t feel the way he did. To her, this whole thing might just be a case of long suppressed lust. Just because he felt something deeper, didn’t mean she did.

  No. He didn’t believe that. Pru wouldn’t have slept with him if she didn’t feel something. Even the tiniest bit of caring. Maybe it hadn’t started out as love, but it sure had grown into it. He knew it. How could they not love each other? They were best friends, dynamite in bed, loved hanging out with each other. Were they perfect? Hell no. No relationship was perfect, but they respected each other, trusted each other, and worked out their issues together.

  Wasn’t that love?

  He had no idea. All he knew was ever since he told Pru how he felt and witnessed sheer panic fill her eyes, he’d begun to have doubts. Not about his feelings. He loved Pru. Nothing could ever convince him he didn’t. He knew his heart, and right now, the thought of not being with her had it splintering, a physical ache spreading out into every inch of his body, weighing him down with the gloom of what his life would be like without her in it.

  He knew what he wanted. Unfortunately, there was no way for him to know what Pru wanted. Not until she figured it out for herself and shared it with him.

  If that ever came. It had been days since they’d talked or even texted. He couldn’t remember the last time they’d gone this long without contact. He felt like he was missing a limb.

  Or his heart.

  “Hey, dude-bro.” Díaz tossed Finn a bottle of water. “Might want to take a break from working out before you snap a muscle.”

  He snatched the bottle out of the air, twisting off the cap and gulping down the entire thing. The cool liquid did nothing to quench his thirst for an answer, but it did solve his dehydration problem. His fellow firefighter was right. He needed to cool it on the fitness. He’d be no use to his crew or the people who needed their help if he got a muscle tear from over exercising. Time to find a new distraction.

  “Thanks.” He tossed the empty bottle into the recycling bin. “I’m going to hit the shower then make dinner.”

  “It’s Ward’s night to cook.”

  Sure, but cooking would occupy his hands and brain so he didn’t think about Pru, worry about Pru, miss Pru.

  “Do we want dinner or food poisoning?”

  “Hey!” Ward yelled from outside the workout area. Popping his head in the small room, the man scowled. “I’m not that bad of a cook, and I’m making spaghetti tonight. Not even I can mess up pasta.”

  He begged to differ. Last time Ward made pasta, it was so al dente Finn damn near chipped a tooth. The man was a badass firefighter, but he couldn’t cook worth shit.

  “Just because Pru is taking her pregnancy hormones out on you, doesn’t mean you get to be a pissy dick to the rest of us.”

  It wasn’t pregnancy hormones. Hell, he wished it were. This went deeper. When you denied something long enough, it took on its own life. Could become real. Maybe the years they’d spent ignoring their true feelings for one another wiped them out? It hadn’t for Finn, but perhaps it had for Pru. Maybe it wasn’t time she needed, or fear she had to face. Maybe she simply didn’t love him.

  And wasn’t that a shitty truth to swallow.

  So, yeah, maybe he was being a pissy dick as Ward so eloquently put it, but he had good reason. The woman he loved might not love him back. That was enough to turn any person into a raincloud.

  “I’m hitting the shower.”

  He pushed past his friends and crewmates, heading to the tiny showers with shitty water pressure that barely trickled enough to wash the soap off his back. While vigorously scrubbing off all the sweat and negative thoughts of the past few hours, he tried to look at the bright side of things. Tried to stay positive.

  What if she never comes around?

  The thought burned through him hotter than any fire he’d ever fought. But he had to admit, even if only to himself, it was a real possibility. Pru might never love him, And what would he do then? Work out until every muscle in his body died of exhaustion?

  Whatever he did, he’d still be by her side. Still be her friend. He’d promised. And there were the twins to think about. No way would he abandon his kids. Pru might want to take the lead, but he’d damn sure be there every step of the way, helping as much as she’d let him.

  Shutting off the poor excuse for a shower, he dried off and tugged on a fresh pair of pants and a Denver Fire Department T-shirt.

  The loud high-pitched yip of Bruiser echoed through the vent in the bathroom.

  “Bru Baby?”

  He knew all his dog’s barks. The hungry bark, the squirrel bark, the “evil delivery man is at the front door and I’m your big, bad guard dog” bark.

  But this one…this one he recognized as her “happy to see her second favorite human” bark.

  Pru?

  His heart raced in his chest, beating faster than it had over the past few hours of torture he’d put it through with his vigorous workout. He hurried out of the bathroom to the main area, where he saw his crew sitting around the table, lovin’ on his pup and talking to the woman who held his entire heart in her hands.

  The second he stepped into the room, her gaze swung up as if she’d felt his presence. That had to be good, right? But her worried expression made his gut sink.

  “Pru.” He hurried to her side, his hand automatically reaching out to cover her stomach. “What’s wrong? Is everything okay with the babies?”

  Maybe the doctor ran more tests after he left, or called with news, or maybe she’d had more pain. Shit! He shouldn’t have left her. Sure, she had her friends and she’d told him to go, but he should have insisted on staying and taking care of her.

  “I’m fine, the babies are fine. But, um, I was wondering if we could talk?”

  The last time she asked that, it turned his entire world upside down. He wasn’t sure if he could handle another spin.

  “Yeah, sure.”

  Grasping her hand, he tugged her into the workout room, away from prying ears, though he knew his crew was listening because they were all a bunch of gossips.

  “What’s up?’

  She took a deep breath before launching in. “So, I know you’re still on shift until tomorrow morning, but we have a wedding this weekend, and I wanted to do this before that.”

  “Do what?”

  Digging through her purse she came up with a folded sheet of paper. One of her very detailed lists, no doubt. A smile tugged at the corner of his lips. His Practical Pru. God, he loved her so damn much.

  “Here.”

  She handed it over. He took it, making sure to brush his fingers along hers as he grasped the piece of paper. He felt her tremble at the contact, hoping it was a good sign, but when he glanced at the slip, his brow drew down in confusion.

  “What’s this?” He stared at the black ink, what appeared to be a list of addresses with prices next to them, written in Pru’s familiar handwriting.

  “It’s a list of potential apartments we can afford.” She pressed on whe
n he didn’t comment further. “You said you wanted to live together.”

  Yeah. He also said he loved her, which was something people usually declared before they took the next step in a relationship.

  He knew what Pru was trying to do—at least, he hoped he did—but he wasn’t letting her off easy. No. She had to fully admit what she felt if they were really going to do this thing.

  Folding the list, he handed it back to her. She stared at the paper, refusing to take it, and left it hanging, suspended in his fingers in the air between them.

  “You don’t like those places?” She tugged on her ponytail. “It wasn’t my most thorough research. I can find more places if you want. I was just trying to find locations close to the firehouse and—”

  “It’s not about the location, Pru,” he interrupted. “Why?”

  She shook her head. “Why what?”

  Okay, looked like they were doing this the hard way. He held the paper up a bit higher. “Why did you make this list? Why do you suddenly want to live together?”

  “Because you offered.”

  He shook his head.

  She scowled. “Because we’re having twins together, and you want to be involved.”

  He took a step toward her. “Try again, Precious.”

  Frustration pulling at her lips, she threw her hand up in the air. “Because I love you, you big, stupid jerk!”

  Relief washed over him. He closed his eyes, savoring those words and the warmth they filled him with. A smile tugged up the corner of his lips. He opened his eyes and speared her with a teasing look. “Big, stupid jerk?”

  She ripped the paper from his hand, lightly smacking it against his chest. “I was trying to apologize and prove to you that I love you by coming up with a plan for our future.”

  He chuckled. “Without actually apologizing?”

  Her eyes narrowed.

  Pulling her into his arms, he laughed out loud. “I’m sorry. Did I ruin your grand plans?”

  Crumpling up the paper, she tossed it over her shoulder, wrapping her arms around his waist.

  “Yes, you did.” She sighed, pulling back. “But it’s probably for the best. Lately my plans have been getting waylaid left and right, and the more I think about it, the happier I am, because as much as I try to plan out this perfect life, it’s not going to happen. Life is messy and complicated and unpredictable. I can try as hard as I want to steer it where I want it to go”—she rubbed a hand over her baby bump—“but it’s always going to surprise me with how things turn out. And I know some of those surprises will be bad, but some will be happy and…scary.”

  “I scare you?”

  She huffed out a small laugh. “You terrify me, Finn. You’re the only person who has seen me at my best and my worst. You’re the one I run to first when I have good news, bad news, any news. You’re the one I never get sick of spending time with and who always accepts that anything I’m feeling is okay. I can be myself around you one hundred percent of the time.”

  “And that’s scary?”

  “Yes!” Her teeth came out to worry her bottom lip. “Because it means losing you would be like losing a part of myself. You were right, Finn.”

  His lips curved up into a full-blown grin. “I’m right? Bet that hurt to say.”

  She smiled along with him. “Shut up, ass.”

  “Ooooo, such sweet love names you give me.”

  The teasing light left her eyes, replaced with something warmer, something deeper.

  “I do love you, Finn. I’m in love with you, and I have been for a while now. I was just too afraid to admit it. I do want to live with you, raise our babies with you, build a life with you. I want to let you in, full partnership, to help with whatever I need.” Her nose scrunched up as she finished her statement. “Even if I’m too stubborn to ask for it.”

  Weight dropped off his shoulders. The tension he’d been carrying melted away. Not only did she love him, but she just gave him a blanket acceptance for all future help. He smiled to himself, knowing he might need to remind the fiercely independent woman he loved that she’d agreed he could be her support system, something he knew was hard for her to admit needing and a task he was humbled and honored to accept.

  He took a step, reaching out, hauling her into his arms as his mouth came crashing down on hers. Pru’s hands came up to wrap around the back of his neck. Her mouth opened, tongue swiping against his bottom lip, seeking entrance. Far be it from him to deny her anything. He opened for her, greedily drinking in the rich, heady taste unique to Pru. This kiss was unlike any they’d ever shared. There was a promise in this one. A future. A recognition of love.

  His entire body sighed in relief with the knowledge that this was the first of many. He’d taken a risk by revealing his true feelings. Best risk of his life, turned out.

  “Hey, Pru?” he whispered against her lips.

  “Yeah?”

  Her sweet eyes stared up at him, a dreamy, content expression filling their dark brown depths. Made him feel ten feet tall to know he was the one who put it there, he was the one who she felt safe enough with to finally let down all her walls and admit the truth of what she felt. What they both felt. Still, it was them, and he wasn’t letting her get out of this whole situation without poking a bit of fun.

  What kind of best friend would he be if he didn’t tease her just a little?

  “Can I get it in writing that I was right? I feel like I’m going to need it when you’re cursing my name and blaming me for ‘doing this to you’ in the delivery room.”

  “Be more of a cliché, Finn.”

  She rolled her eyes, but the smile on her lips grew wider. Bending his head again, he pressed a kiss to that spot on her neck that always caused her to make an adorable sexy squeak.

  Yeah, he was a goner. Hook, line, and sinker. For the rest of his life he would do anything for this woman. Anything to make her laugh, smile, moan, and, yes, even squeak.

  “Oh good, it looks like they made up,” Ward’s voice carried into the small room from the doorway. “Now maybe Finn can stop being such a grumpy SOB.”

  Finn continued to focus on Pru, lifting one hand to flip off his fellow firefighter. He heard a soft chuckle before the sound of footsteps carried the man away and left him alone again with the person who mattered most to him in this world.

  “Were you being pouty, Finn?” Pru chuckled as if it was the funniest thing she’d ever heard.

  “Watch it, or I won’t give you your surprise later.”

  She snorted, staring down at his crotch. “Yeah, pretty sure I’ll get my surprise no matter what I do.”

  He placed a hand to his chest, mouth dropping open in faux shock. “Are you implying that I’m easy?”

  “For me? Damn right.”

  She had him there. For her, he’d do just about anything. But the little minx was wrong about one thing. Her surprise wasn’t sex—okay, that would probably be an added bonus—but for the real treat he planned, he’d talked to his buddy who was a chef at one of Denver’s most popular diners and gotten his famous recipe for chili cheese fries. He figured if he couldn’t win her back with the power of his love, maybe he’d win her over with food. Worth a shot. And now it’d be worth brownie points.

  He should make her brownies, too.

  His mind buzzed with all the ways he planned on pampering and spoiling Pru. She deserved it. Not only was she one of the most amazing people he’d ever known, she’d given him the greatest gift he could have ever received. Her love.

  “Oh!” Her face lit up. She pulled back, the smile stretching her lips until her entire expression reflected pure joy. Reaching out, she grabbed his hand and placed it on her round belly. Confused, Finn obliged, resting his palm on her stomach until—

  Holy shit!

  Something hit his hand. Like the flex of a stomach muscle, only in one tiny concentrated spot. Not a flex, but a kick. A tiny baby kick. His baby and—there it went again! Another one, or the other baby. He wasn’t sure
, but suddenly it became hard to breathe, his eyes watering with the immense and awe-inspiring implication of what he’d just felt.

  “Was that…?”

  “Yeah,” she nodded, her own eyes welling with tears. “They’re saying hi to their daddy.”

  Daddy. He was going to be a daddy with his best friend, the woman he loved, the person who made him feel complete and all that other cliché crap he’d never believed in until one night he made the best worst decision of his life and slept with Pru.

  He rubbed her stomach, trying his best to say “hi” back to the two little souls he couldn’t believe he loved so much already. With his free hand, he cupped Pru’s cheek, dipping his head to press a soft, but very thorough, kiss to her lips.

  “I love you, Prudence Carlson. Thank you so much for loving me back.”

  “Well, it was the least I could do, since you gave me my heart’s wish.”

  He glanced down. “The babies?”

  She shook her head. “No, but thank you for them, too. You gave me love, Finn Jamison. Free and clear and so unconditional there was no way I could deny my own love for you. I always knew I wanted to be a mom, but I never knew I wanted to be an ‘us’ until you.”

  “Glad I could be so helpful.” He kissed her once more before pulling back and nodding toward the door. “Now let’s go pretend to eat some of Ward’s hard-as-rock pasta and when I get off shift, I’ll take you home and make you anything you want.”

  She grinned, eyes heating. “How about a delicious Finn and Pru sandwich?”

  Damn, he loved this woman. “Whatever you want.”

  And he meant it. He would do whatever he could to make Pru happy because without her, he couldn’t be whole.

  Chapter Twenty

  Six months later

  “Okay, Ms. Carlson, your stitches look good. How’s your pain level?”

  Pru smiled at Doctor Richardson. “It’s manageable.”

  Anything from here on out would be manageable after fifteen hours of labor followed by an emergency C-section. Poor Simon was breech and blocking in his sister Sasha. As hard as she and the doctor tried, they couldn’t get the sweet little baby boy to turn. Finally, they’d decided to go in and get the babies, for the health and safety of everyone. Not quite the birth plan she had mapped out, but as life so beautifully taught her this past year, things often failed to go according to plan.