Beautiful Pain

by Joanna Mazurkiewicz

“Susan sent me here. You missed your appointment today,” she said; her voice high and apprehensive. He folded his arms together, smiling. She wiped the sweat off her forehead, trying to pull herself together and build a distance between them, but every nerve in her body reacted while he was standing so close. She was fighting those unfamiliar feelings, telling herself that she was his probation officer and it was inappropriate to even think about him this way.

  Chapter Eight

  “Do you want to talk to me here or shall we go somewhere else?” he asked, scanning her face. He sounded amused. She glanced around, unsure why she was so nervous. She was in charge here and he just had to follow her rules.

  “Are you done now with your community service?”

  “Yeah, I was heading home” he said looking at her lips. Sophia wondered why he was always focused on her mouth.

  “I am not familiar with this area, are there any coffee shops that we can go to?” she asked as a few men passed them, glancing at her with interest.

  “Susan shouldn’t have sent you here. This area, it’s dangerous. I’ve got an idea where we could talk, come on,” he said and took her hand. Sophia wanted to protest but his touch sent a warm tingle down her thighs. The sudden wave of uneasiness was gone as she was walking with him, but he pulled his hand away quickly enough. She made a mental note in her mind that she had to avoid touching him in the future.

  “Where are we going?” she asked, rushing after him.

  “To my car. I need to get you away from here before someone mugs you,” he hissed, looking annoyed. Sophia glanced around with panic, thinking that this time Harry might have been right. They walked for about five minutes to the small alley. Harry stopped in front of an old, dark blue Golf.

  “You want me to drive with you?” she asked in disbelief, staring at him like he just told her a really bad joke. He smiled.

  “Don’t worry, Sophia, I am not going to kidnap you. I am a good guy,” he smirked and got into the car. Sophia stood there for a moment. She had to speak to him and fill this stupid report out, but getting into his car wasn’t a good idea at all. “Are you getting in or not?”

  She sat next to him, folding her hands together. The car wasn’t a mess as she expected, but inside was warm and she was sitting next to him, way too close. Smiling, he looked at her.

  “I am sorry if you have been used to a more comfortable model, but you know that I haven’t got a job,” he smirked and started the car.

  “Where are we going?” she asked, aware that her heart was beating much faster than it should. Did he always have this kind of effect on her or was it just today?

  “You said you wanted to talk in the coffee shop, so I am taking you to one,” he replied. Sophia decided not to ask him any more questions; it was safer that way. Besides, she had to forget about his incredible tattoo and his bare skin that was only inches away. She was concentrating on her breathing. After a long and awkward moment of silence, Harry parked the car in a busy street. The neighbourhood looked decent and the street wasn’t as busy.

  “Here we are, now let’s talk,” he said and flashed her one of his best smiles. They entered the small coffee shop. “What would you like to drink?”

  “I will get it,” she said quickly.

  “Sophia, just choose the table and I will get our drinks,” he said firmly. “What would you like to drink?”

  “A latte,” she replied and went back to the table, tensing her jaw. She didn’t like that he was ordering her around. She sat down and started taking all of her forms out of her bag. She needed a shower. It had been a long day, and now she was going to sit here with the guy that was intimidating her. After a long moment Harry returned and sat in front of Sophia, placing a large latte in front of her.

  “Thank you, how much do I owe you?” she asked him.

  “Just get on with it, this is on me,” he replied abruptly, watching her carefully. He bought a soda for himself. “I can’t believe that you are drinking coffee when it is like twenty five degrees outside.”

  “I like my coffee,” she replied. She wanted to argue about the money, but she decided that there was no point. He was obviously happy to pay for her drink. “So tell me why did you miss your appointment with me?”

  He ran his thumb over his lips, leaning towards her. She wasn’t sure why he always had to look at her so intensely; it was like he was trying to read her mind, wanting to know what she was thinking.

  “I had to take my mother to the hospital and I didn’t have a chance to call,” he replied. Sophia had to agree with Harry that it was too hot to drink coffee or maybe he had that kind of effect on her. She felt the stream of sweat that was running down her back.

  “I tried to call you, but your phone doesn’t seem to be working,” she said, biting her lips. Harry’s gaze widened as his eyes traced that movement. She made another mental note that she would have to stop doing that in front of him.

  “I changed my number. I’ve got all the evidence, which I can provide, so I don’t think it’s such a big deal, Sophia,” he said, leaning closer towards her. She wanted to lean back, but somehow she was unable to move, staring captivated into his eyes. She could see her own reflection in his gaze, making her want to seal her lips on top of his.

  “It is a big deal,” she whispered, her voice uneven. Finally he sat back and drew in a long breath.

  “Come on tell me, you were missing me, that’s why you came all the way here. Susan didn’t ask you to be here,” he chuckled, taking a generous sip of his Coke. Sophia could have sworn that her heart stopped beating.

  “I am here because of work, so skip your macho talk and let’s get down to business,” she added firmly.

  “Sophia, you look so cute when you are nervous. Maybe you should consider changing your career prospect.”

  “You don’t know anything about me. Plus, I have been working my ass off to get here and no one, not even some guy with an over exaggerated ego, is going to ruin this for me,” she hissed, breathing heavily. She lost her temper with him. How dare he tell her what she should or shouldn’t do?

  “All right I am sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I am just surprised that you want to work around scum. You are obviously intelligent,” he said quickly.

  “So first you are insulting me, and now you are praising me, what is wrong with you?”

  “You tell me, you are supposed to evaluate me,” he said, stretching his arms. He had amazing abs and Sophia wondered if he worked out a lot.

  “What was wrong with your mum?”

  “She couldn’t breathe, and I had to stay with her all night.”

  “Is she all right now?” she asked. His expression shifted, bringing sadness into his eyes.

  “She should be fine. I thought you were going to ask about my drug problem or community service, I really don’t want to talk about my mother.”

  Sophia wrote a few notes and moved to her questions. She couldn’t figure out why he was so touchy about his mother. She went through all the standard questions, and showed him a few vacancies that he needed to apply for. Ten minutes later he was relaxed again while Sophia was writing her notes.

  “Right, that should be it then,” she finally said, lifting her head.

  “I’ve got to tell you, Sophia, I want to show you the real Belfast,” he said, moving dangerously closer to her. She smelled the scent of his cologne; it slowly soaked all her senses. She was doing so well up to this point. She wasn’t able to move again, those chocolate eyes were so hypnotic. He was staring at her lips, and slowly lifted his hand, brushing his thumb across them. She shivered, unable to react, but her subconscious screamed, telling him to do it again. “Did I tell you that you have beautiful lips?”

  “Harry … I can’t do this, I might lose my job,” she replied, her voice trembling. She couldn’t possibly let him charm her. She couldn’t say anymore, she had to leave otherwise she would regret this for the rest of her life.

  “I know, Sophia, I am only joking. Com
e on, I will give you a lift,” he said, shifting his seductive voice away. She was angry with herself that she’d allowed him to play with her like that. She should be the one telling him what to do.

  “Seriously you don’t have to give me a lift I am going to take a bus. It’s inappropriate enough that I was in your car,” she firmly said once they were outside the coffee shop. His touch sent her to another planet, but she couldn’t do this to herself.

  He is bad for you, she thought.

  “I am really not going to—”

  “Sophia,” someone shouted. She turned around and saw Mason rushing towards her. Surprised, she parted her lips. She wasn’t expecting to see him again, especially now. She glanced back at Harry, who was eyeing Mason suspiciously.

  “Mason, oh my God, what are you doing here?” she asked, thinking the moment was awkward enough. He looked good in a suit.

  “It must be fate. Now you don’t have a choice but to give me your number,” he chuckled. Suddenly, Sophia blushed, realising that Harry was still standing behind her. She wanted to talk to him, but she wasn’t going to leave Mason hanging.

  “Just give me a sec, will you,” she muttered. Harry was staring at Mason with a severe expression, and twisting his mouth with anger. “Harry, I really don’t need a lift. I will see you next week, and please try not to miss any other appointments. I hope everything will be all right with your mum.”

  “Who is that?” he asked, not moving.

  “We met once in the bar, but I don’t think this is any of your …”

  “Oh come on! You met him once and you are going to bail on me for him?” he asked, tensing his jaw.

  “Please don’t make a scene. I’m really not supposed to be seen with you, it’s just not right. I will see you in the office next week.”

  “Just be careful,” he muttered and started walking away. Sophia was looking at him. She was right to tell him to leave. This had definitely gone way too far. When she made sure that Harry was a distance away, she turned around to face Mason.

  “Sorry about that. Yes, I think I owe it to you,” she said, smiling. “Do you work in the area?”

  “Yes, not far from here. I was just going to get some snacks. I hardly had time for lunch,” he explained. “So who was that? He didn’t look very happy that he had to leave.”

  Sophia flexed her fingers nervously. It was bad enough that Mason had seen her in this situation.

  “Oh, don’t worry about him. So we meet again?”

  Chapter Nine

  Harry was fuming. When he got to the car he punched the wall, bruising his fists. He didn’t like the way that guy was staring at his Sophia. He didn’t know what brought so much anger to him; he normally controlled his temper. Yes Sophia was attractive and sweet, but she wasn’t going to fall for him. Besides, he didn’t even know if she was single. When he saw her walking towards him after he was done with his community service, he couldn’t believe his own luck. There was something about her that was pulling him to her. They had that connection, and he was certain that she felt it, too.

  He was driving home way too fast, but he didn’t care; he was sexually frustrated and angry. He had to go home quickly. His mother was still stuck in her bed, so he couldn’t leave her for too long. She hadn’t been well for the past week and he was worried that soon it would be too late for her operation. He needed to raise the money fast. He still had a lot of goods in his mate’s house and he had to move quickly. If he got caught, then he was going back to prison, this time probably for more than two years.

  Sophia was still on his mind when he walked through the door. He couldn’t help it, he had to touch her lips in the coffee shop, they were so beautiful and soft. He wanted to kiss her, but with the last bit of self-control he didn’t do it. She’d shivered under his touch, making him hard again. He couldn’t even imagine what could happen if he would have her in his arms. After a moment he thought that this was stupid. His cock twitched, but he knew that she wasn’t a girl for a one night stand, and he wasn’t in the position to be involved with anyone else.

  “Harry, is that you?” asked a faint voice from upstairs.

  “Yeah, I will be there shortly,” he replied, shaking his head. He was a fool because he was still thinking about her. She would never go out with a guy like him.

  The house was still a mess, and Harry felt guilty that he didn’t tidy it up before he’d left. He lived in a three bedroom home. His older brother, Lennox, had also lived there before, but he was busted for an armed robbery last year and he wasn’t going to be leaving prison for a while.

  Harry went upstairs. His mother was lying in the bed, looking tired. Her skin was still ashen, and her eyes were bland staring at the TV. She’d lost a lot of weight in the past few months and Harry didn’t know what else to do. Her silver hair was stuck to her head.

  “How are you, Ma, have you eaten anything today?” he asked, sitting by her on the edge of the bed. She had just been diagnosed with lung cancer, and Harry had been expecting it. She had been smoking fifty cigarettes a day for the past ten years.

  “I am not hungry at all, my boy. Are you going to shift the stuff today?” she asked, taking a long, raspy breath. Harry’s stomach made a strong contraction. He didn’t want to talk about this with her, especially since she knew about everything that he was doing.

  “Yes, Ma, I will try. Soon we will have enough money for your operation,” he replied, squeezing her hand. His mother had been waiting for around six months for a life changing surgery. Harry couldn’t look at how much she was suffering, so he decided to take matters into his own hands. He needed thirty-thousand Euros. He made some enquires at a private clinic and the doctors agreed to operate straight away. A few more shipments and he would have enough to go through with it.

  “Don’t do it, boy. Maybe it’s meant to be that I am ill. I wouldn’t be able to handle it if you to go to prison. Your brothers wasted enough of their lives.”

  “Ma, stop it, just a few more shipments and it will be done. Then I will get a job and we never have to worry about this again.”

  “I don’t want you to get into trouble, this is too risky. What about the loan?” she sighed.

  “I haven’t had a job since last year. We both know that I won’t get a loan, and your pension is too small,” he snapped, getting angry. Barbara was trying to talk him out of this idea. She wasn’t prepared to die or wait for an operation, but she didn’t want Harry to risk his future for her. “Anyway, let me make you something to eat.”

  He didn’t want to upset her, but he was going to carry on until he had enough money saved up. Harry went downstairs, scratching his head. The dishes were piling up in the sink and he needed to do some grocery shopping. He was the only one that could look after his mother; his aunt was working full time, so he didn’t expect her to leave everything to help them out.

  He wondered yet again what Sophia was up to. A jolt of jealousy ran through his body, he wanted to squash that guy who he saw with her earlier. He even considered going back to probation tomorrow so he could talk to her.

  “Ask yourself how ridiculous this sounds! She is not going to even listen to you,” he muttered to himself. He wanted to have her in his bed, not only for one night, he wanted to possess her beautiful body. He was hard again just thinking about it. Then he heard the knock on his door that stirred him back to reality. He swore and went to the door.

  It was Kirsty, and she barely had anything on. Skimpy shorts, and a T-shirt with a bare stomach. Her long dark hair was flowing freely around her bare shoulders.

  “Hello stranger,” she said as she approached him, smiling widely. Harry moved away, feeling annoyed that she was even here. He didn’t want to touch her. Kirsty was the girl that he slept with when he was lonely. She walked through the door and touched his crotch. “Hmm, someone is ready for me.”

  “Come on, Kirsty, what the hell do you want? I am busy,” he snapped, pulling her hand away. Kirsty wanted to shag all the time. She al
ways wore this hideous strong makeup that made her look much older than she was.

  “You never called after our last session, so I thought I would come to you this time,” she muttered, brushing her leg against his. Harry wondered why he’d slept with her the other day. She wasn’t like Sophia, who was gentle and beautiful. Kirsty had slept with half of his mates and she was never serious about anyone. Besides, she was too rough in bed.

  Harry moved away from her, scratching his head and thinking about how he was going to get rid of her.

  “I am not in the mood. My mother is upstairs so I have to look after her,” he explained. Kirsty pulled a face and licked her upper lip.

  “That’s all right. I am really horny and I could do with a cuddle,” she murmured in his ear, sliding her hand down to his buttocks. Harry pushed her away, aggravated. He wasn’t sure what was wrong with him. He had a perfectly good looking girl in front of him and he wasn’t even getting excited.