Following the Sparrows

by Karen Malley

  “Oh, come on! It’ll be fun,” she coaxed. “Everyone will be there. There’s no one I’d rather go with. Think what everyone will say.”

  “That’s what I’m afraid of, Gina. I’m not ready to start back where we left off. I’m not the same person I was when we were together. I’m sure you aren’t either.”

  “It’s one party. I’m not asking for a lifetime commitment here.”

  Adam reluctantly agreed, and soon found himself in a rented tux, escorting Gina into Niagara Falls on New Year’s Eve. When the valet took the car, he was glad Gina insisted on him driving her car. When he’d gone to pick her up, she’d taken one look at his secondhand truck and handed him the keys to her car. He chuckled to himself. He’d forgotten how to live this way.

  Gina was clad in a red sequin dress that hugged her body in all the right places. A plunging neckline was exposed when she removed her coat. Her hair was swept in an elaborate braid, and diamond earrings dangled from her ears.

  They found their friends, and engaged in idle small talk, the men discussing the upcoming football playoffs, and the women in the latest gossip.

  As Adam talked to the guys, he caught Gina and some of the other women glancing his way. Instead of joining the women, he scoped out the trays of hors d'oeuvres carried by the waiters. After exhausting the details of every possible playoff matchup, dinner was served.

  Adam was back in his former element. He found himself relishing the food, and surprisingly, the upscale evening in general. Dinners like this were a common scene in his past. As the night wore on, however, images from the book Kathryn made for him flashed across his mind. He cringed at how much he’d spent on the tux, and could only imagine how much the tickets cost. Gina insisted she was taking him out, and he hadn’t been able to change her mind.

  What was he even doing here? He didn’t need this anymore. He didn’t need to be rich and powerful to prove he was important. He was valuable to God. The kids in Africa had next to nothing but were full of joy in their hearts. He was grateful God gave him that perspective. As tempting as this lifestyle could be, it was not for him. Still, he’d promised Gina the evening out, and as it wasn’t even close to midnight yet, he had a long night ahead of him.

  As the night wore on, he tried to beg off from the dance floor, but Gina was used to getting her way. She pulled him close during a slow song. He inhaled her perfume—the same kind she wore when they were together. She wrapped her arms around his neck and his body responded. He closed his eyes and found himself traveling back into the past. Warning bells went off in his head as she leaned her head on his shoulder and whispered in his ear “Part of the ticket package includes a room upstairs…”

  He didn’t want this. This night was nothing but one big temptation. He jumped as his cell phone vibrated in his pocket. He couldn’t help recalling a verse he’d taught the kids in his youth group back in Africa.

  1 Corinthians 10:13. “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”

  He excused himself and pulled his phone out of his pocket. A text from Kathryn.

  Happy New Year! Babysitting Ben and Emma. Ben wanted to stay up but passed out on the couch. Bandit says hi.

  Adam grinned. He apologized to Gina and sent two silent prayers of thanks to God. First, for keeping him away from alcohol. If he’d been drinking, his judgment would be compromised, and he wouldn’t have been able to drive home tonight. The second prayer of thanks was for the way to escape the temptation. There was nothing that could get his mind off Gina faster than Kathryn. God understood that. He shot back a quick text.

  At a fancy party I don’t belong at. Rather be with u & Bandit. See u soon.

  He turned back to Gina, who was looking scorned. He remembered another phrase but was sure that one wasn’t from the Bible. “Hey Gina, I’m sorry. I’m not in the mood for dancing. Can we go back to the table and talk?”

  Gina’s lips formed a pout, but she took his arm and they made their way back to the table.

  The music switched back to a loud fast number, and there was no way they’d be able to talk. After several more ear-splitting dance tunes, the DJ finally took the mike and started the countdown.

  Gina pulled at Adam’s sleeve. “Come on, it’s nearly midnight.”

  Adam got up, and they joined in with everyone else for the countdown to midnight. As the clock struck twelve, Gina covered Adam’s lips with hers. He pulled back, but she held him close as they danced the New Year in together.

  The ringing in of the New Year was the unofficial end of the party. People began heading out of the ballroom.

  Adam breathed a sigh of relief. He put his hand on Gina’s back and steered her to the coat room. She stopped.

  “Adam, sweetheart, I told you, I have a room for tonight. I won’t need my coat until tomorrow. I’m sure you’ll be able to keep me warm. You do remember how, don’t you?”

  Adam winced. He’d made a lot of changes in his life, and like alcohol, sex outside of marriage was not part of the plan. “Gina, you’ve been drinking. Let’s not do anything rash here.”

  “Adam, I was almost your wife. I think I know what I’m doing.”

  “So do I, for the first time in my life, and that’s why I’m taking you home.” He handed the coat attendant the claim check and some cash, and steered Gina out into the night. She took her place in the passenger seat, arms folded, and he drove her home in silence.

  When Adam was finally behind the wheel in his pickup truck, he leaned back against the seat and blew out a puff of air. That had been a close one. Thank heavens he’d be heading back to Pine Springs tomorrow.

  Adam spent the drive back to Pennsylvania rehashing the trip. The family time was fantastic. Reconciling with Gina and finding out his old friends were still there for him was the icing on the cake. Although he hadn’t seen Gina’s father or any of the other men from the firm, he knew in his heart he’d forgiven them. It was a good trip.

  When he finally arrived in Pine Springs, all he wanted was to see Kathryn. He offered a prayer to God, thanking him for all that happened, and prayed for guidance. One word impressed upon his mind.

  “Wait.”

  He’d planned on calling her as soon as he got back, but now he wasn’t sure. He busied himself that night hitting the grocery store and catching up with the Fredericks.

  21

  The next morning, Kathryn returned to work, excited by the prospect of receiving her promotion. The promotions were always announced the first week of the year, and she was due. After getting some coffee and settling in at her desk, sure enough, her manager Gordon called her to his office.

  “Come in, Kathryn. Close the door.” Gordon said, without meeting her eye.

  Kathryn closed the door, suddenly nervous. This didn’t sound like good news.

  “What’s going on?”

  “The past few months, the company has been in negotiations. Bottom line is, we’re being bought. There will be a meeting this morning at 10:00 to announce all the particulars, but I wanted you to hear it from me.”

  Kathryn’s hopes for a promotion quickly shifted to a fear of losing her job. “What does that mean for us? Will the new company still be keeping the research division?” A sudden thought horrified her. “What about the project? Will they still be advancing the pain project?”

  Gordon pressed his hands together in front of his mouth. “There are no guarantees, Kathryn. I’ve told you all I’m at liberty to discuss right now. You’ve done exceptional work here. I’ve been proud to have you on the team. If you should need a recommendation, I’d be happy to give you one.”

  Kathryn stared at him. How could this happen? Her safe, comfortable work world was threatening to disappear. This project was her chance to make her past right. The pain program was the whole reason she chose M. K. in the first place.

/>   Kathryn rose from her seat. “Thanks, Gordon. I’ll go back to my desk now.” She walked back to her office in a trance. Several other doors were closed. Other people must be getting the same news.

  The next hour dragged. Kathryn willed the clock to move faster. No point in setting up any reactions today.

  At ten o’clock, all the employees in the research and development division were seated in the main conference room. The room was unnaturally quiet. After several tense moments, the vice-president of research and development stood to address the crowd. Kathryn waited through all the company-speak until he uttered the phrase that mattered. “And, unfortunately, they’ve decided to close this site. All operations will be transferred to their main research headquarters.”

  Kathryn spent the rest of the meeting in a daze. She’d worked so hard. She put everything into this job. What would she do now? When the mass of bodies around her got up from their seats, she allowed the crowd to guide her back to the office area, and found her way back to her desk. She sat there, head in her hands, completely lost. Suddenly, something snapped. No. I will not wallow in self-pity. I will take control of my future. She opened the internet browser and spent the rest of the afternoon poring over job sites.

  Several hours later, her head and her neck were killing her, with nothing to show for it.

  She’d been vaguely aware of some water cooler talk regarding the state of the industry, but she had no idea it was this bad. She couldn’t find a single job posting for someone with her qualifications within a fifty-mile radius of her home.

  Thoroughly discouraged, Kathryn was at a loss. She never dreamed she’d be in this situation. With all the years of school and hard work, she expected she’d always be employed.

  She gave up and went home. The thought of maybe seeing Adam tonight kept her going. He should’ve arrived home last night. She’d hoped he’d call, but maybe it was too late when he got back. He’d know the right thing to say. He always did. Besides, she was sure Bandit would be ready to see her. This was his first day alone since she’d gotten him, and she wanted to make sure he was OK. Who would care if she left a little early now, anyway?

  ~*~

  The first day back at work was a tough one for Adam. After such acceptance from his family, dealing with Mac was an extra strain. Despite the taunts, the day went quickly, and soon it was time to head out. Maybe tonight he’d see Kathryn. As he was packing up to leave for the day, some commotion arose over by the fence.

  The guys were harassing some poor woman.

  He did a double take. The woman could have been Gina’s twin. No wonder they were interested in her.

  Wait, it is Gina. What on earth? He threw together his gear and hurried through the gate to meet her. When he caught up with her, he grabbed her elbow and rushed her away from the job site. Mac’s jeers echoed in his ears.

  She began talking the minute he got close. “Adam, I’m sorry for the way I acted the other night. When I found out you left town, I knew I needed to talk to you and try to make things right.”

  “How did you even find me?”

  “It didn’t take too much detective work to find the construction site for the mall in Pine Springs. I set the GPS to Main Street and asked around once I got close.”

  Gina was resourceful. Adam had to grant her that. “But to come all this way?” he asked.

  “Adam, I wanted to apologize to you. I’m sorry for the way I behaved on New Year’s Eve. It was nice to be back in your arms again…” she trailed off.

  “Gina, you were drinking. You weren’t yourself. You’re forgiven. You didn’t need to come all the way here to tell me that.”

  “Well, there’s more to it. Can we go somewhere and talk?”

  Adam didn’t want to encourage her, but she’d made a long trip to talk to him. He decided he’d hear her out. “Well, we can grab some dinner, but I’ll need a shower first.”

  Gina glanced at Adam’s grime covered jeans and work boots and quickly agreed. “I’ll follow you back to your place, wait for you to get cleaned up, and then we can go out to dinner.”

  Adam frowned. Taking Gina back to his apartment was not part of his plan.

  “Don’t worry, I’ve already checked into a hotel for the night,” Gina said. “I don’t know my way around this town, and it would be a lot easier to drive to dinner together.”

  Adam hesitated. “Well, I guess it will be OK. You won’t be impressed with my apartment. It’s pretty low-brow compared to my place in Buffalo.”

  As they were heading up the stairs, Gina wrinkled her nose. “I guess construction doesn’t pay very well.”

  Adam bristled. “Money isn’t everything, Gina. This apartment suits my needs fine. Compared to my standard of living in Africa, this is the high life. My financial circumstances do not dictate my happiness.” As he unlocked the front door, the sparsely decorated apartment spoke to the truth of his words. “Make yourself at home. There’s some cold water and sodas in the fridge. I’ll only be a few minutes.” He tossed his keys and phone on the table and headed for the bathroom.

  When Adam returned a few minutes later, Gina’s smug expression unsettled him, although he didn’t know why. Gina moved close to him. “Mmmm, you smell delicious.”

  Adam took a step back.

  “Let’s get going. I’m starving. There’s a little place in town with good food and quick service. We can talk there.” He wanted Gina out of his apartment as soon as possible.

  Once they were seated at their booth in the restaurant, Gina did away with any small talk.

  “Adam, I can’t let you go again. What I did was awful, but I want you back. I want us back.” She placed a hand on his arm. “We were good together. You have to admit that.”

  Adam drew in a slow breath. “We were, but that was a long time ago. I’ve told you already, I’m not the same man. Do you want to spend the rest of your life with a construction worker? Your tastes are far too expensive.”

  “You won’t be a construction worker for long. One word from me and Daddy will fix everything. Come back to Buffalo with me, and we can start where we left off.” She undid the top button of her already low-cut blouse. “We can start tonight. My hotel bed is awfully big for one person.”

  Adam tore his gaze away from Gina’s blouse. She wasn’t making things easy. He was quiet for a moment. The offer was tempting, especially after his day at work. To go back to practicing law, to have a wife, a family… He caught himself daydreaming and shook his head. When he thought of a family, it wasn’t Gina he pictured. She wasn’t exactly the mothering type. He got a mental picture of her trying to change a diaper and had to suppress a grin. He caught Gina staring at him and was glad she couldn’t read his mind.

  “Gina, I don’t want to go back to where we left off. I’m not a lawyer anymore. I’m making an honest living, and no matter what happens, I need to be obedient to the Lord’s call in my life.”

  “OK, you don’t have to be a lawyer anymore, that’s fine,” Gina said. “I’m sure we can find something else that would suit you. But Pine Springs? Are you sure God wants you here?”

  At Adam’s nod, she continued. “Well, I’m not sure I’m ready to commit to moving here, but I’m sure we could work something out until you find out whatever it is God wants you to do.”

  Adam needed to be blunt. “Where I am is not the point. I don’t want to be with you anymore.” Gina opened her mouth as if to argue, but Adam continued.

  “After you left me, I didn’t want to be with anyone again. But lately, I realized I do want to be married, and have a lot of kids. I don’t see you fitting into that lifestyle.”

  Gina scrunched up her nose. “Well, I’m sure we could think about maybe having a kid someday…”

  “Gina, I don’t mean maybe someday. I want kids, and not only one. We don’t want the same things in life.”

  Gina busied herself with the straw in her diet soda. “I guess I drove all the way here for nothing.”

  “Well,
you got to meet some of the lovely young men I work with,” Adam joked.

  The tension broke, Gina smiled, and they were able to finish their meal. Adam drove Gina back to his apartment to get her car, directed her back to the hotel, and fell onto his sofa, spent. He tried to call Kathryn, but the call went straight through to her voicemail. He put down the phone and picked up his Bible.

  22

  After taking Bandit for a long walk, the first thing Kathryn did when she got home was pick up the phone. The sound of Adam’s voice would make her feel better.

  A smooth, feminine voice answered. “Hello, this is Gina.”

  The words hit her like a bucket of cold water.

  “Uh, is Adam there?” Kathryn stammered.

  “Sorry, he’s in the shower, and we’ll be heading off to dinner soon.” With icy politeness, she continued. “Would you like me to give him a message?”

  “N- No thank you.”

  Gina continued. “That’s probably best. I’m sure it will be a late night for Adam anyway.”

  Kathryn was numb. She sat on the floor, Bandit pawing at her for attention. She absentmindedly petted the dog in a state of shock. First she’d lost Robert, then her job, and now Adam. There was nothing left. She sat waiting for the tears, but none came. She was beyond feeling anything. How could it have come to this? She picked up the dog and hugged him hard.

  Bandit squirmed to be free of her grasp.

  “Oh, Bandit. I’m glad you’re here. Even if I’ve lost Adam forever, at least he’s given me you.”

  It won’t do to sit around moping. She dealt with Robert’s death by keeping busy, and she could do the same now. She stood with resolve. Time for the tree to go. She went out to the garage and grabbed the stepladder. One by one, she took the ornaments off the tree. She threw away the popcorn strands, the snowflakes, and the paper chains, stuffing them all in the trash with a vengeance. She threw the ornaments in a box and stowed it in the basement. She sized up the tree. This would not be easy. Adam had struggled to get the thing up, and she wasn’t as strong as he was. Still, what goes up must come down…