Be My Wife: A BWWM Romance (Make It Marriage Book 6)

by Nia Arthurs

  I knew that.

  Still, I wanted…

  More.

  More than she was willing to give.

  The day I handed her the divorce papers, my world split apart.

  I wanted her to tear them up.

  Toss them in the wind.

  Insist that the renumeration suit I got in the mail—the one demanding a payout after our divorce—was fake.

  Or a misunderstanding.

  Something.

  Instead, she got angry with me for calling her out. For not going along with her games.

  What she doesn’t know is I would have played the fool for as long as possible. Everything inside me hoped that we could stay together. I didn’t even care if it was all a lie.

  My heart pangs.

  I hate myself for thinking that.

  Hate myself for falling in love with my wife.

  I take in a deep breath and try not to think about Elizabeth. What’s important right now is Steph. Since her surgery, I moved into her private suite at the hospital. I take care of her. Make sure she’s eating. Make sure I get the latest updates from her doctors—who all assure me that she’s doing just fine.

  She can’t leave the hospital yet.

  They still need to monitor her.

  Run tests.

  Keep an eye out for any anomalies.

  The doctor said we could be here for three weeks.

  We’re five days in now.

  Still got a ways to go.

  The hospital doors open and my mom lumbers in. Her entrance stirs me from my thoughts. I sit straight up, scowling at the bowl of soup she has in her hands.

  “I hope that’s for Steph,” I say.

  “Brogan, you need to eat something.” She pushes my laptop off the table and sets the tray in front of me. Steam rises into the air. It smells great, but it’s not appealing. Lately, food’s been tasting like paper.

  “I made this for you,” she says, pointing to the soup. “Eat it.”

  “I’m not hungry.”

  She sighs. “Brogan—”

  “Lana took Steph to the library. Some celebrity athlete is here to take pictures with the kids. You know how that goes.”

  “Look how thin your face got. Why haven’t you been eating?”

  “I told her not to go.” I scowl, remembering my argument with Lana just before Steph insisted on being wheeled to where the other kids were. “Steph’s not some toy to prop up this guy’s popularity.”

  “You haven’t been sleeping either,” Mom mumbles worriedly. “Brogan, what’s going on?”

  Scrambling to my feet, I edge past the desk. “I should go and get her. Take her out of there.”

  “Brogan!” Mom stops me.

  I stare at her, at the anxious look in her eyes. “I’m fine, Mom.”

  “No, you’re not.”

  “I’m just worried about Steph.”

  “That little girl is healthier than a horse now. I know it and the doctors know it too.”

  “We still need to be sure.”

  “I’m sure in here.” She points to her heart. “What I don’t understand is why my son can’t eat or sleep lately. And when are you going home to Elizabeth? She moved out of the suite, you know. All her stuff is gone.”

  “I know,” I grumble. It’s one of the reasons I decided to move into the hospital. I couldn’t go home. It doesn’t feel like home without Elizabeth there—her sweet smile lighting up the place, her hair products skittered all over the vanity and bathroom sink, half her clothes filling my closet, and her body against mine on the bed.

  “Gerard says she’s not letting him take her around anymore.”

  “She wouldn’t have a heart if she did.”

  Mom’s stare gets blistering. “What’s going on?”

  “She’s busy.”

  “Don’t give me that sorry excuse.”

  I shrug. “Believe it if you want to.”

  “You know she sneaks in to see Steph when you’re not here?”

  My eyes widen.

  No, I didn’t know that.

  “Did you two have a fight?”

  I shake my head. “We’re getting divorced.”

  “What? Why?”

  “We were never going to work out.”

  “Brogan, that’s utter nonsense. You and Elizabeth are perfect together. Turn around right now and make up with her.” Mom tries to tug on my arm. “Tell her you’ve changed your mind.”

  I remain in place. “I can’t. I already signed the papers. I’m just waiting for her to sign so we can submit it to the court.”

  It’s strange that Elizabeth hasn’t sent me the files yet. Maybe she’s waiting until Steph’s fully recovered before she hits me with it. I don’t know why she’s being considerate now. I’d rather we sever ties quickly so I can try to get over her.

  Somehow.

  Mom slaps me on the back.

  I jump. “Ow!”

  “How could you let that woman go?”

  “It’s what she wanted, Mom.”

  “Are you blind? Elizabeth loves you.”

  My voice gets heavy with bitterness. “It was just a lie.”

  “Those eyes of hers don’t know how to lie.”

  Our entire marriage was a lie. Mom has no idea what she’s talking about.

  “It’s over, Mom. Elizabeth isn’t who I thought she was.”

  She bursts out laughing. “What?”

  “She couldn’t wait until I got my inheritance so she could extort money from me.”

  “She’s not Lana, Brogan. Elizabeth isn’t like that.”

  I think of the notarized document hidden in my desk back home. Elizabeth hasn’t mentioned it. Maybe she’s ashamed. Or maybe she’s relieved I intercepted it so she didn’t have to find a creative way to demand the money from me.

  Either way, I heard her loud and clear.

  “You don’t know her.” I shake my head. “I didn’t know her.”

  “I am so disappointed in you.”

  “You don’t understand.”

  Mom scowls. “I didn’t know I raised such a foolish son.”

  There’s a knock on the door.

  Lana and Steph enter.

  “Let’s talk about this later.”

  My mother shakes me off. “You held on to a woman who didn’t deserve you or appreciate your love.” She gestures to Lana. “And you’re letting the one who loves you and wants to be with you go just like that? Without fighting for her?”

  Steph’s eyes widen. “What’s going on?”

  “Stop,” I growl at Mom.

  She offers a bitter smile. “Fine. I will. If you don’t want to listen to me, I can’t force you.”

  “Gran?” Steph whimpers. “Are you and Uncle Brogan fighting?”

  “It’s nothing, baby.” Mom sighs. “I’m going home.” She gives me a dark look. “Have fun being miserable.”

  “Mom…”

  But she’s already storming off, her purse hiked to her shoulders and her long skirt fluttering around her pale ankles.

  I collapse into a chair and rub my face between my palms. Letting Elizabeth go is hard enough without Mom putting salt into the wound trying to convince me of a love that just isn’t there.

  How could it be?

  We agreed to a contract marriage. Now it’s over and she’s ten times richer than she was when she started.

  Everybody wins.

  Except me.

  Lana remains in the doorway. “You want to talk about it?”

  “Not really.”

  She nods.

  Her phone buzzes.

  Glancing down, she takes a look at the screen. “That’s work. I need to go.”

  “Bye, Aunt Lana!” Steph waves.

  Lana presses a kiss to her forehead. “Bye, sweetie. Be good for Uncle Brogan.”

  “I will.”

  Lana leaves and Steph wheels her chair over to me.

  I heft her up and put her in the bed. “Did you enjoy hanging out with yo
ur friends, Pumpkin?”

  “Uncle Brogan, have you asked Elizabeth out yet?”

  “I’ve been a little busy.”

  “With me?” She stares sadly at her pale hands.

  “With a lot of things.”

  “Uncle Brogan, did you know that someone had to die for me to get this heart?”

  “Who told you that?”

  “The internet.”

  “I told Lana to stop giving you her phone.”

  She frowns. “Listen. This is important.”

  “I’m listening, Pumpkin.”

  “Knowing that person gave me something so important makes me want to live so badly. Because I’m not just living for me. I’m living for them too. I have to do my best because of the precious heart they gave me.”

  “That’s a nice thought, Steph.” I slide the tray of soup over to her. “You want some of this?”

  She pushes the soup away and takes my hand. “Uncle Brogan, Elizabeth gave her heart to you. That’s a very big deal.” She stares at me with all the soberness in the world. “You accepted it, so you need to take responsibility for it. You need to take care of it so it’s happy and healthy and lasts for a very long time. You can’t let it be hurt.”

  I ruffle her hair. “When did you get so wise?”

  “I was always this way,” she says proudly.

  I press a kiss to her forehead and insist, “Now eat your soup.”

  While Steph digs in, I think about what she said.

  There’s a hole in my chest where my heart should be. It’s in the palms of a beautiful woman with golden-brown skin and the sweetest lips.

  The problem is… she doesn’t even realize what she’s holding.

  And I’m too scared of love to make her any wiser.

  Thirty-Two

  Elizabeth

  My cell rings.

  It’s Mama.

  With a sigh, I pick up. “Hey, Mama.”

  “Where are you?”

  “At home.”

  “With Brogan?”

  I haven’t told anyone in my family about Brogan and me. No one knows I’ve moved back to my apartment either. I want to keep it that way for as long as possible.

  “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I told everyone to give you two privacy. Since he’s not taking you on a honeymoon, you should at least get that much.”

  “Thanks, Mama.”

  She giggles. “Are you having a good time?”

  I stare at my mess of a living room that’s littered with empty ice cream tubs, wadded up tissues and the smell of despair. “Yeah, great time.”

  Translation: every day has been torture.

  I can’t eat.

  Can’t sleep.

  In a word, I’ve been miserable.

  Going to work is like grinding an already sensitive wound. Riley keeps teasing me about being married to the boss. The security guards keep rushing to be helpful.

  There’s no Gerard to unwind with during the commute to the hospital or the grocery store.

  No Gwen to make us soup and offer tidbits about Brogan that he’d rather she kept to herself.

  It’s all over.

  But in a way, it’s not.

  Because people still see me as Brogan’s wife.

  Each time I hear someone greet me as ‘Mrs. Harrington’, I feel like tearing my skin off. The only upside is that Brogan hasn’t been in the office. He’s staying with Steph while she recovers from her surgery.

  According to Gwen, he’s sticking to her side like glue. She says it’s his way of coping while we ‘fight’. Only she doesn’t know this is more than a fight.

  It’s fate.

  A conclusion that was drawn the minute we signed the marriage papers.

  It’s pathetic that I’m tripping over it.

  But I can’t help myself.

  I miss Brogan.

  I miss arguing with him.

  Laughing with him.

  Talking to him.

  Touching him…

  There are nights I lie in bed, close my eyes and just pretend that I can hear him breathe.

  Yeah, I know.

  I’m insane.

  What’s worse… he’s staying with Steph now but, once she’s recovered, he’ll be back at work. I already know it’s going to be super awkward and I’m considering quitting my job.

  “Elizabeth,” Mom calls my name.

  I straighten. “Huh?”

  “Why are you so distracted?” Her voice gets mischievous. “Brogan’s there kissing up on you, isn’t he?”

  “Mom!”

  “Don’t play innocent. I know how it is when you’re young and in love.”

  “What if we weren’t?”

  “Hm?”

  I shift in my seat. “What if we were just faking it?”

  “Elizabeth Garcia, what nonsense are you talking?”

  “What if…” I swallow the lump in my throat, “Brogan didn’t really love me.”

  “Did he say that?”

  “No.”

  “Then why would you assume he doesn’t love you?”

  “I’m just…”

  “Are you feeling insecure because of his ex?”

  “Um…”

  “Listen, I was a little iffy when I heard he was divorced too, but that boy has eyes for you and only you. There’s no way someone can fake that.” She sighs. “Do you know why I didn’t freak out more when I found out you married him?”

  “No, why?”

  “Brogan stopped by a few days ago to talk to us.”

  “He-he did?”

  “He formally asked your father for his blessing to marry you.”

  My heart stops. “Mom…”

  “He promised us he’d take care of you and be there for you. You should have seen the look in his eyes, Elizabeth. That man was so serious. It was like watching a soldier vow to protect his country. I knew he’d go to battle for you if he had to.”

  “He never told me.”

  “Which makes me like him even more.”

  I flop back in the sofa.

  Brogan went to see my parents.

  When?

  And why didn’t he mention it?

  “Are you still there?”

  “Mom,” I croak, “why did you call?”

  “You remember Novah’s wedding rehearsal is tonight, right. I know you’re in your honeymoon, but I think she’d appreciate her bridesmaid being there.”

  “I’ll be there, Mom.”

  “Okay, baby. And tell Brogan we said hi.”

  “I will.”

  Click.

  I scoot to the edge of the couch, my eyes veering to the coffee table where the divorce papers are. My chest aches when I look at Brogan’s signature. There’s my signature right next to it.

  It’s over.

  Only…

  I haven’t had the courage to send in the papers yet.

  It’s stupid.

  I don’t know why I’m dragging my foot when our marriage is finished, but every time I think about officiating the divorce, I feel like my world is about to crumble.

  Grabbing my phone, I go to my bank account. There are more numbers and zeroes in my balance than I know what to do with.

  My fingers tighten on the device.

  Again, I fight my confusion, hurt and anger. I remember how Brogan had looked when he handed those papers to me. I remember what he said like it was etched into my brain.

  “Thank you for your service.”

  Brogan paid me for doing a good job as his wife. Everything between us meant nothing to him and I have no idea what he was trying to do when he visited my parents.

  It doesn’t even matter now. The money cancelled it out. Those dollars are his way of saying ‘hey, don’t think I have any feelings for you. The only thing I’m prepared to give you is money’.

  I need to get over this sentimental crap and just hand in the divorce.

  Picking up the divorce papers, I rise resolutely. Then I realize it’s almost five
and the courthouse is closing soon. I don’t want to inconvenience anyone when I could just go early in the morning.

  Tomorrow then.

  I’ll definitely end this sham of a marriage tomorrow.

  For now, I get dressed and head to my appointment at Make It Marriage.

  Venus welcomes me into her office with a stunning smile. She really is beautiful with all those reddish-brown curls and those bright brown eyes. I get the feeling we could have been good friends if we’d met outside of Make It Marriage.

  “It’s good to finally see your face, Elizabeth.” She points me to a chair and takes a seat. “How have you been?”

  “Good,” I say. Then I pause. “You know what? I haven’t been good. I married the man you set me up with a week ago and now we’re getting divorced.” I stare at a fray in my shirt. I thought I’d be glad to get that off my chest, but saying it out loud just makes me want to cry. “Anyway,” I finish softly, “that’s how I am.”

  Venus leans forward. “Do you mind explaining a little more?”

  The entire story comes spilling out.

  By the time I reach the part where Brogan slid the divorce papers at me, my hands are gesturing wildly. “So now I find out that he went to see my parents before breaking up with me. What am I supposed to make of that? Am I being weak if I hope that means he actually had feelings?”

  She chuckles. “Elizabeth, I feel like you’ve already answered your own question.”

  “I have?”

  “You’re holding on to the divorce papers, aren’t you?”

  “Well, I’ve been busy…” I hedge.

  “You’re not ready to give up on him.”

  “He’s the one who gave up on us first.”

  “Does he know you have feelings for him?”

  “Well…” My eyes zip to the side. “Not exactly.”

  “Why didn’t you say something?”

  “Because I was afraid of this. He left me.”

  “Okay.”

  I glare at her. “What do you mean okay?”

  “The worst happened. He left you, but you still have unresolved feelings for him. You’re still wondering ‘what if’.” She gestures to me. “I think you and Brogan need to have one last serious conversation. Clear the air. Tell him how you feel. It’s not even to get him back. It’s just to get it off your chest. You deserve to release it so you can move on without regrets.”

  “I don’t think I have the courage to say it first.” I rub my palms against my legs. “I always did that in my previous relationships and—”