The Heart Remembers: a friends to lovers romance (Heart Collection)

by L. B. Dunbar

  We sit in silence for a few minutes, allowing the light breeze to do the talking as it floats around us. After the Jet Skis are put away and the boats docked for the night, it’s generally quiet here.

  “I hear congratulations are in order,” he finally says.

  “For what?” I laugh, turning to look at him. Dark eyes meet mine.

  “Heard you’re getting engaged.” A heavy pause follows the statement, and I clear my throat, glancing out at the descending sun.

  “Yeah, about that . . .” I pause again, then drag blowing hairs behind my ear. “Derek gave me these for our four-year anniversary last week. Then I broke up with him.” On display for Levi are a beautiful pair of diamond earrings. I feel Levi staring at me, but I don’t gaze back at him. I shrug. “My family will be disappointed, but I don’t have the heart to tell them yet.”

  “You told your dad Derek couldn’t make it.” Levi’s merely stating facts. During dinner, I did say that to my parents when they asked again why he wasn’t here. I heard Aunt Tricia saying how they all expected a proposal this week, and I had to admit I might have been expecting one as well. When it didn’t happen during our anniversary dinner, I had an epiphany.

  “Did it not sound believable?” I question, and Levi bitterly chuckles.

  “What do I know about relationships?”

  “When you live with someone, you get comfortable, right?” I begin. “At first, it’s all exciting. You could have sex on the kitchen table if you want. Walk naked through the house. Do it on the living room floor—”

  “I get the picture,” Levi cuts me off.

  “Then one day, you realize you don’t think the kitchen table will support the two of you, and you never would walk naked through the house, and the living room floor is just really hard. And you see a family shopping at the grocery store, and you want that family. You want to argue over flavors of ice cream, and he doesn’t.” I pause to exhale and then clarify. “He doesn’t want the ice cream or the family, that is.”

  I peer over at Levi, hoping he might understand a little bit. “I’m not ready to tell my parents. Not this week. It’s Tom’s week.”

  Levi watches me a second and then looks away, staring out at the glassy calm water.

  “Alicia left me when AJ was two months old. She hadn’t wanted him, but I asked her to have him, for me, for us. I asked her to marry me, and she said no. Promised I’d still take care of us even if all we did was live together, but she didn’t want that either.” His head lowers. “She found someone else.”

  He lifts his beer bottle and takes a swig, and I watch his throat roll. Licking my lips, I fight the desire to kiss him there, just under the scruff. I want to comfort him. I understand.

  “Does she see AJ?”

  Levi shakes his head. “She left both of us.”

  “People suck,” I say, not really believing that statement. I believe in love and happily ever after, just not for me, not yet.

  “Yeah, but they don’t. Some other guy will come along and steal your heart because you stole his, and you’ll be a million times better off. You’ll own a kitchen table stable enough to hold you both, walk naked through your halls, and fuck on the hardwood floors because who would notice the floors if you were his wife? And you’ll have babies. Lots of babies because of the table, the hallway wall, and the floor.”

  I chuckle, flushed by his response. “You’re sweet, but the hallway wall?”

  “If you walked around naked, no man would let you get down that hallway before pinning you against the wall and taking you.” His eyes roam the side of my body, and more heat floods my face. Oh, my.

  “That’s . . . sweet, too.” That was more than sweet.

  Levi snorts and turns his attention back to the lake. Lifting his beer for his lips, he mutters before he drinks, “Yeah, sweet.” He takes another hearty pull of the beer, and I turn away from him, sipping my own summer shanty.

  “She was a fool to leave you.”

  “You don’t have to say that.” His voice is low, his eyes on the beer bottle in his hands.

  “I’m not just saying it. Who doesn’t want to hear a promise of being taken care of? Who doesn’t want that sweet baby? AJ is adorable. Where is he?”

  “He’s sleeping. Tricia has the baby monitor for me.” Makes sense as we are outside. Levi is quiet for a second before adding, “He’s flawed.”

  “What the fuck?” My voice rises, and Levi’s brows lift.

  “Alicia said that.”

  Instantly, my sight drops to his leg. What did she think of him? And who says such a thing about her child? I hate her, and I don’t even know her.

  “You’re better off without her,” I stress. “She sounds like a bitch.”

  “Whoa, two swear words in under a minute? Slow down, Katie girl.” He nods at the beer in my hand, and I laugh.

  “Still think I’m a child?” I tease.

  “Definitely not a child,” he mutters before finishing his beer. I smile to myself and take another drink of lemony beer. We both stare off at the sunset, and I scoot myself closer to him. As the sun descends on our first night, I tip my head to his shoulder. To my surprise, he wraps an arm around me and presses a kiss to my temple.

  “You’ll be okay, sweet girl,” he says, calling me the same thing when I was seventeen. I close my eyes, wishing he was using the endearment under different circumstances.

  Like one that involved a kitchen table or a hallway wall or hardwood floors.

  4

  [Levi]

  The next morning is just chaos. I love the craziness while I’m overwhelmed at the same time. There are so many people in this family, and it’s a reminder of how alone I really am. Just AJ and me.

  Today’s agenda calls for a late afternoon baseball game on some diamond near Elk Lake. Gavin Scott and his wife live close to the location. I questioned Tricia on why the Scotts weren’t involved in this overly packed house party.

  “Mainly because it’s already overly packed. And my mom.” Tricia’s voice quiets. “It was a tough call, but Karyn agreed we should give Mom only the most immediate family.” From the way the Scotts and Carters grew up, intermingling their families when Tom Carter married Karyn Scott, I sometimes forgot they weren’t one and the same family. They act like they are.

  “What’s wrong with Mary?” The matriarch of their family is the sweetest woman in the world. Tough and wise but sweet. She treated me like I was family even when my own did so much wrong to her beautiful daughter.

  “She’s just getting older. She’s eighty-five, and Tom thought this week should be just as celebratory for her. Her kids. Her grandkids. We love Gavin and Britton, Ethan and Ella, and all their gang, and they’ll be part of most of what we do, like today, but the physical house cannot hold us all.”

  I understood. We were a large group.

  Before we spend more time as that large group, I need a little break and decide to take AJ on a walk. This leads to Madison deciding to walk with her three small ones, and a couple of the teens wanting to ride off on bikes they found in the garage. It’s more of a production than I thought, but finally, we start down the paved road, breaking off into smaller groups.

  Katie sticks with me for some reason, and I’m grateful for her company in the chaos. Eventually, we separate even more from the spreading groups. Her quiet is comfort, calming my insides. She starts pointing out things to AJ. Birds. Cool leaves. Someone’s yard flag. She’s making the trip an adventure, and I marvel at how easily she nurtures and educates.

  “He’s only six months,” I joke.

  “Yeah, but he’s a human sponge, soaking everything in.” She squeezes her hands as if emphasizing the absorption. “In that first year, he’s going to learn to walk, talk, hold things, and love.”

  The thought stops my heart.

  “What do you mean love?”

  “I’m certain he loves you. He knows you’re the man. You’re the one taking care of his needs, but he’s also learning t
o trust that you’ll be there for him and accept that you’re here to protect him, provide for him. There’s more to love than just . . . love.” She chuckles. “I sound like a whack.”

  Ignoring her dismissive attitude, I correct her. “You sound like a mother.” It’s the wrong thing to say as her expression drops, and she shrugs.

  “One day,” she quietly mutters as we continue walking.

  A squirrel is pointed out. A feather picked up.

  “Do you think we should ever talk about that kiss?” The question from her surprises me.

  “Which one?” I laugh, although anxiety cracks my voice. Why would I want to discuss the best kisses of my life?

  “Both. I overreacted to the first one and was a little forward on the second one.”

  “Forward?” I sputter. What the hell was forward about her kissing me as though she owned me? “It’s not 1950, Katie.”

  “I know, but I just don’t want you to think of me as a silly girl. I mean, I was a silly girl, but I . . . I don’t know.” Her eyes squint, and her hands slip into the pocket of a hoodie she’s wearing. It’s still warm, but it rained overnight, so the air temp is chilly this morning.

  “I don’t think you’re a silly girl, and I don’t think we need to discuss it. It was a long time ago, right? I’d figured you’d forgotten all about them.”

  “Did you forget about them? I mean, I’d totally understand if you did, and now I’ve just made it awkward by bringing them up again. You probably forgot, right? Because why would you remember? You’ve probably kissed thousands of girls.”

  “I wouldn’t say thousands,” I mutter, but I chuckle at the thought.

  “How about Lys?”

  “What about Lys?” Lys Ramirez was one of my best friends. It was difficult to ignore the crush I knew she had on me when we were younger, but I did what I could to never cross the line of friendship because I valued her as a friend. She was sweet and quiet back then, and I didn’t want to take advantage of her, nor did I want to wreck our friendship. It would cost me more than Lys. I could lose Tricia and Leon, and I’d never want to hurt them.

  But you kissed their niece, you pervert.

  “I just always wondered,” Katie begins, but her voice drifts.

  “Why?”

  She shrugs again, but I’m not letting it go. Why would she care if I kissed Lys or any woman for that matter? Those kisses we shared when she was too young were just that—kisses to a girl too young.

  “I just . . . never mind. Forget I brought all this up.” Her voice turns edgy, almost upset.

  “Look, if you want to discuss the best kiss of my life, we can go right ahead and discuss that alley kiss.”

  “Now you’re just being cruel,” she says, looking over at me with ire in her eyes. It’s a look she can’t really pull off. Her face is too sweet for irritation, and it makes me want to laugh. It also makes me want to kiss the hell out of her right here on this abandoned road. Instead, I stop walking and step up to her. We’re so close I can smell her fresh floral scent and feel her breath at my lips.

  “I am not being cruel, so do not dismiss the best kiss in my history. That kiss got me through some dark nights and lonely days. That kiss nearly saved my life, so I won’t let you blow it off or tell me how it was for me. Want to discuss it? What do you want to talk about?” My chest rises and falls with my growing agitation. I will not ruin one of the purest memories of my existence by fighting with her over it.

  “So, you remember it,” she whispers, her voice straining as her eyes fall to my mouth. She bites the corner of her lip after speaking, and my hand twitches, desperate to cup her neck. I want to pull her to me and remind her of the kiss I never forgot.

  “Yeah, I remember it.” We continue to breathe heavily, absorbing the energy of each other. She’s close enough her covered breasts slowly drag over my tee. As if it has a mind of its own, my hand lifts, reaching for her, ready to take what I desperately want.

  “Good. Then we’re all good. That’s all I wanted to know.” Katie steps back, and my courage falters. My heart crashes to my belly. Fuck. I misread those signs, and I want to kick myself. My head lowers in defeat as she steps away from me, and I hear teens on bikes drawing near. The soft slosh of tires over pavement still wet from last night’s rain gives them away.

  “Katie!” a few girls squeal as they ride past us. It’s Katie’s younger sister, Daisy, and Tricia’s daughters, Liza and Maggie. My head shoots up, and I catch Katie watching me. Her brow tips up, and then a smile curls her lips.

  Perhaps it’s wishful thinking, but maybe I misinterpreted her retreat. Kissing in front of her family is not our thing. We’ve only had private exchanges. Then I second-guess myself and realize our kisses need to remain where they were—in our past.

  + + +

  I’m exhausted that night and too easily fall asleep. It’d been a long day. For the remainder of that walk, we ignored the tension crackling between us and focused on AJ instead. Then lunch happened, followed by a rambunctious and competitive game of baseball: Scotts versus Carters.

  The Scotts have an unfair advantage despite their smaller team because Gee Scott is a professional baseball player. It was surprising he could make the game with his hectic summer season. In attendance with him is his agent and one of Katie’s best friends. I had trouble working out all the connections but something about roommates and them never realizing that Gee was a cousin of sorts, but the agent was trying to represent him as a client. I don’t follow that sort of background on people.

  The reunited friends squealed like schoolgirls, razzing each other when they played opposite one another. Katie was actually pretty good and held her own. I didn’t recall her being so athletic, but then again, she was only a little girl when I left the area. I learned she’d been a cheerleader and a softball player, and I wished I’d seen the days of her in a short skirt or tight pants. Then again, the short shorts she wore to the family event held their own in wreaking havoc on me and my dick. She was tempting in every way, from the swish of her ass before she’d hit the ball, to those long legs running bases, and then a nice jump into my arms when she scored.

  I hiked her up my body in a congratulatory hug. Not awkward. Not awkward at all with her family staring at me, especially her dad. Jess Carter is one moody man. He’d lightened up over the years, but I remember the glares he could give when I was a kid, and he hasn’t changed when he has his sights set on something. That something was me a few times during that game with my reaction to his daughter, and I tried to chill, but it was hard to do with Katie teasing me and her overall enthusiasm for the game.

  “I love baseball,” she blurted at one point.

  “Oh, yeah. Tampa Bay or Detroit?” I teased.

  “Neither. I’m a Cubs fan.”

  My mouth fell open. “Since when?” This was Michigan. We were loyal to the blue and orange.

  “Since Emily,” she teased, nodding at her mother, and I’m reminded that Emily is not her mother, at least not biologically. I’d totally forgotten about that. Emily had been from Chicago and married her dad when Katie was still young. She even adopted her.

  “But you don’t call her Emily,” I said, quickly shifting to a more serious topic.

  “Of course not. She’s my mom.” The casualness with which she spoke surprised me, and I caught myself looking over at AJ in Tricia’s arms. Would my son easily call someone else his mother? Would another woman so easily accept my child?

  These were my thoughts as I drifted off to sleep, drinking a bit too much to ease the ache in my leg before bed.

  So, I wake with a start after one of those dreams. One of those ones that remind me of all I’d lost.

  My lids flip open, and I hear the creak that woke me. The sound is like that of the door my platoon and I opened in that church.

  Jackknifing upward in my bed, I stare, stunned and astounded to find Katie in my room, holding AJ to her chest and rocking him in a glider chair in the corner.

&n
bsp; “What are you doing in here?” My voice is rough, the accusation harsh although it shouldn’t be. It’s innocent enough that she’s cuddling my son but still strange.

  “He was crying. I heard him through the wall.” Her voice remains quiet as she presses a kiss to AJ’s head.

  Shit. Shit.

  “I’m sorry he woke you.”

  She smiles into his temple. “It’s fine.” Her eyes close, inhaling his baby sleep scent. He had a bath tonight, and I swear it was like a female invasion. Everyone wanted to watch and then hold him, sniffing that baby soap scent.

  “I didn’t mean to wake you,” she adds, her eyes opening and looking back at me. Her eyes drift to the bottle of Irish whiskey on the bedside table. “You were pretty out of it.”

  Crap. I swipe both hands over my head, brushing over my hair and then scrubbing down my face.

  “Does this happen often?” She’s not accusing me of anything, or perhaps she is. It’s a simple enough question, and I fight the urge to snip back at her.

  “It doesn’t happen often, but I forgot my pills, and my leg really aches.” Too much enthusiasm during the game. She holds my gaze.

  “It sounded like you were having a bad dream.”

  Jesus. Don’t psychoanalyze me, I want to retort, but again I don’t. It’s the calm of her voice and the softness in her eyes that force me to answer honestly.

  “I had a therapist when all this happened.” I wave a hand over my blanket-covered leg and realize I’m only wearing boxer briefs underneath the covering. “And intensive physical therapy. I still have on-call support if I feel I need it and pills for when it’s too bad.”

  “Was today too bad?”

  “It was just the game,” I state, my irritation beginning to creep out.

  “With physical therapy, sometimes people forget it’s just as important to work your mind. You need the right mindset, an open mindset, to work through the experience.”